@happybeanz1111 if her privacy was violated in any way whether doing something with someone that was secretly recording her or whatever in the privacy of her own home or another, then she definitely should not be held accountable for that and I disagree with anyone banning her for it either and she should absolutely seek damages against those sites and persons who violated her privacy and anyone else who furthered it. This would not be copyright laws but privacy laws that were violated in this case.
However, in the same breath, if as @WarmDesertHugs says, she was actively participating on sexual sites and uploading sexual content on those sites, like OnlyFans and the like, and her content got out, then I could understand why measures were taken against her on cuddlecomfort.
Yes we live in a double standard world, but morals should be upheld and this site is attempting to uphold them and that’s of great value because not many sites are nowadays. So if she’s conducted herself in the past in a way that exploits her own person, then of course it makes sense for her to be rejected by a site that intends to uphold some modicum of morality here.
Now if she’s turned a new leaf and is attempting through cuddlecomfort to get away from that world, and has since removed herself from those sexual sites, then I could totally understand cuddlecomfort reinstating her and giving her a second chance, allowing her to continue flourishing here irrespective of her past because it’s about healing at the end of the day and no one, including, I’m sure, the site owners, intends to inflict any emotional or psychological harm on someone due to their wrought past. Especially if it’s coming from a random person’s malicious attempt at exploiting her for it.
Everyone makes mistakes in life so I’m sure a fair assessment and decision will be made. If not on this site, then somewhere down the road.
✌️
Don't these people have her external contact info if they booked with her in the past? If she is banned, she is no longer bound by the terms of the site. I still see a pro who left the site a few years ago. I book with her directly.
@Mike403 That is true, but it prevents her from cultivating new clients. Any business that is not growing is dying.
It's like when they fire school teachers for having an Onlyfans account. That's cruel. I don't support firing someone cause they don't fit some puritans idea of what a good person is. Some people are really struggling to make ends meet. As long as they keep it platonic on this site I wish they would not judge her for other sites. But if those are the rules such is life. I feel sorry for this pro cause she demanded this guy stop advocating for her but he did it anyway making her situation even worse.
Indeed, this is the biggest dilemma on this site. I wouldn't call it a moral dilemma as most people on here, I believe, aren't morally opposed to sex work. It's more of a practical dilemma. You can be highly supportive of sex work or at least tolerant of it and still not want this site to be overrun with it. The demand for sex work is probably two orders of magnitude larger than platonic cuddling so it is always a menacing wave perched above the community ready to engulf it if we simply ignore it. We don't want it turning into Craigslist personals or AdultFriendFinder. The ideal thing would be if people could do whatever they want, sex work included, in their private lives and then do platonic cuddling with people they meet on here.
But that doesn't work so well. Part of the reason is the illegality of sex work. That pushes sex workers into posting ads on many legal sites, including this one, and remaining vague about what services they provide. So if they say they only provide platonic services, you don't know if this is true or if they just say that because they can't say otherwise. Obviously CC can't solve this societal problem. There are things they must do however to maintain the community. They can't permit people to be open sex workers on this site. They also can't permit people who are obvious sex workers off the site because everyone who knows that will assume they offer sex work here. That sends an obvious message that CC is just a front for sex work which it isn't. As all cuddle pros know, the perception that sex is frequently offered here is a problem in itself. It results in customers expecting it or demanding it or worse.
It is however possible for people to be involved in sex work outside the site without an obvious online presence. I don't think CC should go into investigative model and try to track down every cuddler who ever posted a nude photo or add online or whatever. That starts to become puritanical and probably hypocritical. People should be able to compartmentalize their lives. I don't think we should automatically assume that anyone who has ever done sex work elsewhere is doing it here. But we also need to protect the image of the site as a legitimate cuddling community. And so I think a reasonable compromise would be that anyone doing sex work off the site needs to be doing it in a way that it does not affect the image of Cuddle Comfort. I think most sex workers generally hide face pictures from public sites anyway.
If we followed this policy, one might ask, "But how do we know they aren't doing it on here?". The answer is you don't just like you don't know that about anyone else. I would guess that the vast majority of people who offer those services on here do it discreetly and don't have an obvious online presence for sex work. So you're not really reducing the number of sexual cuddle sessions by much. You should still give them the benefit of the doubt until there is a complaint through the site about an interaction on this site or some obvious online evidence of sex work arises. When I say obvious, I mean that it would be likely for someone to see a CC profile and say, "Hey I know that person from ... whatever site".
I don't know the situation of this particular case so I won't comment on it specifically. But some general suggestions would be:
Just my opinion anyway.
Holy Poorly Written Threats, Batman! Aside from going over it with a professional editor's mind... If you're going to blackmail someone, never put it in writing. I can feel all the lawyers in my family cringing right now. I know I did. This is a major LOL because he handed CC everything they needed for action. He didn't help his own case. Whew, I'm not empathizing or trying to help the letter writer. I am in awe of the stupidity. Even if you think you've got your &*( covered by hiding your IP and creating a new email, I wouldn't be too cocky about that either.
Also, is anyone else waiting for 4 pm PST to watch this guy drum up some nice harassment charges for himself? Grabs popcorn
@Rezz Think this is the guy from the other day? The choppy paragraph spacing matches.
@stormydaycuddle Yeah. Obviously it’s a train wreck of a message and certainly a threat. Behind that however seems to be a charge of hypocrisy. No idea whether that is true. But it gets to my point that there needs to be some tolerance and forgiveness and that we shouldn’t set standards so tight that many of the most popular members of the site are getting thrown off.
Threats alone are the weapons of the threatened man.
I can only speak for myself in saying this, I personally don't have any issue with someone who is a sex worker regardless if they are a porn star, escort, stripper/exotic dancer, adult webcam streamer, those with OF or similar accounts, those with sexualized IG accounts and those selling adult or otherwise fetish photos. The problem is when people who do that type of content or offer those types of services come to CuddleComfort. While they might have the best of intentions and might keep things strictly platonic with site members, or not, we have a hard enough time trying to keep the site as the legitimate platonic site and services offered that it is. Mark has already pointed out there are subreddits and dozens of escort discussion board sites which specifically call out CC in questioning if it's a front or legitimately platonic with the overall consensus being we are actually a platonic site with only the occasional site member offering sexual services, which we investigate and determine the legitimacy of those claims, banning if sufficient evidence is found. Several of the posts on those sites also admit to having accounts here on CC here or they say how they were banned. I will add, we have several site members who spend their free time essentially stalking women on CC. Any image uploaded to their profile is reverse image searched, usernames are Googled, and if they get a phone number it's searched as well just to see what they can find. If something non-platonic is found, some report the person while others would believe they've found someone open to something sexual and get an affirmation CuddleComfort might be a front. The latter is what we try to avoid by removing those site members who do have adult content they are sharing online. Even sending a message offering or asking photos for a price directly between 2 site members is something to be banned from the site for.
@stormydaycuddle
@dave31415 - Moderators and the site owners have a philosophical belief, understanding, and respect for sex workers. However, we are governed by and uphold the site's basis: platonic cuddling.
From the site rules:
Platonic services only This site is intended for platonic services only. Members found to be attempting to solicit or offer non-platonic services (i.e. fetish related, sexual services, etc.) through Cuddle Comfort will be banned. In addition, professional cuddlers found to be offering these services outside of this website will also be banned. This is to further keep our image separate from such activities, particularly in light of U.S. legislation (i.e FOSTA-SESTA).
As I said in another thread in support of a Pro who was banned (that thread was moved/deleted at the OP's requests):
Of the appeals that are actually sincere and legitimate, moderators usually confer and vote. Sometimes we have conditional returns, such as removal of forum access. Every appeal is up to the banned person and decided by mods. We've let clients, enthusiasts, and Pros back on before - and will do so again if they have a legitimate and believable appeal. Every decision we have as moderators has oversight and backup. Lastly, Moderators are not going to reinstate anyone based on public campaigns or opinion.
Of the appeals that are actually sincere and legitimate, moderators usually confer and vote. Sometimes we have conditional returns, such as removal of forum access. Every appeal is up to the banned person and decided by mods. We've let clients, enthusiasts, and Pros back on before - and will do so again if they have a legitimate and believable appeal. Every decision we have as moderators has oversight and backup.
Lastly, Moderators are not going to reinstate anyone based on public campaigns or opinion.
Whether a Pro, client, or enthusiast has 1 or 100 karma, whether they've been here 1 day or 10 years, we will evaluate and take action. In this instance, we are still conferring the status of their account and their appeal. The threats from a puppet account are now another issue entirely that we will handle.
I've always been in support of legalizing sex work in the U.S. so those who looking for for those types of services have a legal place to go to and there will be no reason for them to come here.
What kind of person reverse image searches pro cuddlers and then reports them if they find their secret onlyfans page?? that seems cruel. What if their page isn't really active anymore.... if they aren't telling people about it or advertising it here then butt out of their private business.
You shouldn't be using the same image that you use anywhere else. Let's not help the stalkers out.
What kind of person reverse image searches pro cuddlers and then reports them if they find their secret Onlyfans page?
Actually, Onlyfans images and most OFs profiles don't show up in Google searches. Unless you Google the exact URL.
I know because I do online research for a living and tend to be pretty good at finding things and a friend asked me to see if I could find her profile to make sure it didn't affect her "normal" 9-5 job. Using images from her Instagram and even Googling her exact OF's username it didn't come up.
I think Onlyfans has code that ask Google bots not to crawl their pages.
@dave31415 I think if the pro they are upset about truly deserves a second chance they should give it. I also think I have enough vengeful exes that I can't be too sure I'm not a catfish somewhere. I did have a client find me on a dating site and ask about it. I told him it wasn't happening, it wasn't me and pointed out my name isn't Violet. He was a nice guy but for obvious reasons I stopped taking him as a client.
I don't think adult content appears in Google search results unless it thinks that's what you're looking for. (You straight up searched for porn or nudity)
I did have a client find me on a dating site
Was that actually you on the dating site? Or someone using your pictures? I swear you can't believe 90% of things you see online anymore.
Nope, wasn't me. My name isn't Violet.
@stormydaycuddle I'm glad you stopped taking that guy as a client. He shouldn't have tried to invade your privacy like that . good for you
See shouldn't have tried to invade your privacy like that.
Maybe he wasn't actively search for her. It's very possible he stumbled upon her "dating profile" (the fake one) innocuously. But he shouldn't have brought it up.
If I were cuddling with someone and saw one of their profiles on Bumble, Hinge, or even Onlyfans I wouldn't ever bring it up and make it awkward and uncomfortable for her.
@stormydaycuddle @Melancholy - Depending on the dating site, it can be accidental. I once found my old boss on OkCupid. I didn't search for her picture. It gives you matches and her photo happened to show up as one of them.
Not saying this is completely relevant, but depicts there is a perception or image being built that can affect a cuddlers entire future for something that possibly has not been concluded yet... ie: Kicked out of grad school... (In the following video). I agree threats need to be communicated within the c.c community though so everyone can be aware...
How did you embed the video? I tried to earlier but couldn't figure it out.
Your video @Cater2you is exactly the reason why it’s so important this site stay platonic because its so hard for anyone that’s genuinely platonic to feel comfortable being on it if it’s perceived as anything but. Dating apps aren’t being slammed with this double edged sword so why should a cuddling site that I consider to be better than the sex-pressured dating apps have to constantly face this issue? It’s also the reason why I’m an advocate for separating the site out from the paid portion vs those that just want to genuinely cuddle as enthusiasts, male or female, because that in a nutshell takes away any potential for it to be viewed as anything less.
Shit happens, we get that, and it's typically unique to the individual on situations that come up and how it unfolds. Goodness knows we all have experienced something uncouth and try to move forward.
However, vapid threats from a random someone that emotionally seems so invested in this situation/person that really had little to do with them, is intriguing. It doesn't add up.
Who hurt you babes? I highly doubt it was CC.
Time to move on.
If you value the pro, and not your ego, leave it to the people who actually have a say on who stays, otherwise you're just making it about yourself.
Which again, really weird. Really personal, when it really has nothing to do with you and the pro told you to leave it alone?
No respect for anything, even as you spout support supposedly towards the individual. Yuck. Not an ally. Just a pushy person who doesn't respect boundaries.
Absolutely not. Begone, fool. [-Sid]
"I will add, we have several site members who spend their free time essentially stalking women on CC. Any image uploaded to their profile is reverse image searched, usernames are Googled, and if they get a phone number it's searched as well just to see what they can find."
OMG seriously? There are people who have this tiny of a life?
@jplemmon
OMG seriously? There are people who have this tiny of a life
I remember my first day on the internet.
There are entire communities dedicated to doxxing people.
I don't know the background at all. I don't agree it's "fair" to ban people for sex work, assuming there's no evidence they're using cuddle comfort to further that sex work. BUT, while unfair, I do think it is reasonable, and in the interest of CC, to ban people engaged in escorting. Even if it's totally innocent in terms of CC, simply getting to know a cuddler will likely result in learning about them. Finding about their other "services" could easily happen without actively trying to solicit, but the result would be the same, so banning makes sense (provided the sex work is current).
On the other hand, if this is just about only fans, or other sexual photos, I absolutely do not think they should be banned. I'm a photographer, a lot of people on only fans would never even consider engaging in escorting. A friend of mine won't even let herself be seen naked, in person, by anyone but her partner (and photographer). She also has explicit porn on OF, all of which is either solo or with her one partner. Another friend of mine had a once FWB situation, they went back to just friends, she got into a relationship with someone else, and a couple months later he started photographing her for only fans. Nothing sexual between them has happened at all since he started photographing her, despite their history.
Basically, ideally I think what is done outside here shouldn't matter. But realistically, if it's escorting then banning makes sense. If it's just photos/videos then they shouldn't be banned. Also, if the information was only gained through illegal means (hacking etc.), then I think banning would simply be rewarding the person who hacked into their account and is, at the very least, harassing them. Banning then in that case just makes us an accessory to the crime imo.