@cuddles_ndream that's very kind, thank you.
There's a difference between not being able to handle certain words & being willing to stand up for yourself to say "no, I dont have to be called this". Be more mindful of that going forward. [Shake49]
@CuddleDuncan you are most welcome 😊
@CuddleDuncan Thank you for sharing. I’m glad to know this goes away with time. I’m hoping to establish connections with several different cuddlers around the country as I travel, and it’s good to know my plan will assist me in detachment when it happens.
Edit: Changing my comment since the other was removed 😇
If girls are chicks then guys are dogs?
Woof woof 🐶😂
If you want to avoid getting too attached, definitely try to see different cuddlers and not the same one all the time.
Lol.
I feel that one of us ought to point out a very particular & uniquely peculiar factoid.
Apparently, the only way to avoid unhealthy attachment to one cuddler pro is to be rich mcduck mcrichie rich enough to engage numerous other cuddlers.
So, the peculiarity arises when you wonder whether it’d be cheaper to see a therapist.
What a world. lol
Interesting that is the guys that are chiming in saying that it is not advisable to use the term chicks. Maybe the gals don’t mind (like in @achetocuddle case), or they are just tired of correcting the guys.
Anyway I suggest seeing multiple different cuddlers if you’re afraid of being attached (that’s what I do). If you would like to be attached to someone and enjoy the closeness of that, there is no option other than to seek it out from non-professionals. It can also be tricky to do this with enthusiasts as well, dating someone might be the the most straightforward, albeit difficult route to take.
Congrats in your cuddle though.
@sunnysideup i thought the same exact thing @
Interesting that is the guys that are chiming in saying that it is not advisable to use the term chicks.
"Some people wanna fill the world will silly love songs-whats wrong with that" Paul McCartney Tesla CEO Elon Musk said of "wokeness" that it "gives people a shield to be mean and cruel, armored in false virtue."
Guy's! Stay on topic. Also keep the social political undertones off the forum & out of this thread.
Edit: Sorry @Shake49 i didn’t see your comment when I posted.
@Charlie_Bear it's ok
@Mike403 the English prefer to girls/women as 'birds' lol
@pmalloy the only thing I would add to what @CuddleDuncan has written in his insightful post is find a talk therapist with whom you can speak and process the transference. There is meaning to the feelings and a therapist can help you work that out, and if you have insurance it may help pay for the service.
@TNNative and if someone doesn’t have insurance, they can always go to @CuddleDuncan for free expert assessment advice.
Wow, I clicked this thread for one thing and then find out I shouldn't call kids kids. Funnnnnnn. Is legislating other people's speech productive? Esp when it's off-topic?
@MrKinder - Think of another name. I call babies "little screaming doodie geysers".
The funny thing about the English language is that while it's far younger than French or Italian, it has MANY more words. Yes, part of this is that so many new things were created in the UK and US, but that isn't enough to explain the reason behind it. So we have many words for young, small humans. Kids, children, whippersnappers, precious miracles, rugrats.....as long as it's relatively banal, call them what you want.
Whew, I did not expect so many comments.
First off, idc, chick is the word I use interchangeably with girl. I'm surprised so many fixated upon that. Especially guys...silly knights in shining armour. Calm down.
I understand it's a professional thing and though I'm considering talking about it with her it's probably best if I don't let her know that I miss her dearly. I'm aware of how the intimacy of cuddling can affect someone. Good feelings and all. I've told my friends she isn't someone I would date but I am also aware that I'm attached to the feeling she brought. Again because I don't get that.
To the random that said you've been here for this long and just now had a cuddle.
I had to work up the courage, I also think it's demeaning and emasculating that I have even considered the thought of paying to cuddle. As a man I should be better. I've dealt with some traumatic stuff in my life so becoming intimate with someone of the opposite sex is challenging. I've done it before but it takes effort.
So you know, screw you.
No, I absolutely cannot afford to cuddle with someone every weekend. And while that is solid advice I don't plan on doing it often because of money and because I'm connecting with someone I can't connect with again the next day.
As I've said overall I'm glad for the experience, it was sweet and helped me feel that I could get to that point with someone naturally in life.
I do regret it though because it amplified feeling so don't care to feel but I accept that.
I also understand the worries of some that things could become stalkerish in nature. It's a real concern, I'm sure.
Anyway, words
Not to mention that the occasional person I reached out to randomly paused their profile for reasons, or had life keep happening to them and had to push back a booking, or people just flat out going eh, changed my mind, don't know why, good luck.
So yeah
Yeah. That’s about what I expected. 🙄
I've been experiencing this same issue more often lately, but from the professional side. Many of my cuddle clients will become extremely attached after just one session. While I do care for most of the people I cuddle with, it's only ever in the way that a therapist might care for their clients or a teacher might care for their students. If you're thinking about requesting something of a cuddle professional that you wouldn't request of any other professional, it's best to stop things there.
I try to make those boundaries very apparent the moment I sense a client is wanting more from me (time, attention, etc.) than is appropriate, especially outside of a scheduled session. Often times, that results in them deciding not to see me again, which is usually for the best. It's good to be honest with yourself in this kind of situation. If you find you aren't able to keep things professional, it's time to find another avenue. There are plenty of other sites out there if you're looking for a relationship or perhaps seeing a licensed therapist would be more beneficial.
@pmalloy
Consider context. You're here asking women to be vulnerable with you. How you treat them, and refer to them, really matters. Dame, broad, chick, girl, lady, lass, wench, doll, honey, etc. are all slangs that will most certainly offend some of us. It generally denotes a lack of respect or a level of familiarity (which you don't have here). As Maya Angelou says, "when you know better, try to do better"... now you know.
We are women.
@bekah_cuddles me coming from the "other side"..lol...I find it disheartening and "ego-blowing" if someone has an experience with me and doesn't become attached, either pro or enthusiast ...not romantically , but meaning the time with me was so fun and enjoyable, that they anticipate our next session...so @pmalloy don't feel weird bro...your cuddler did EXACTLY what she was supposed to do leave you craving for more !!!....
Cuddling can be a good practice in dealing with attachment issues and developing what’s called secure attachment. There are lots of great posts about it on the Web, but in short it is the ability to attach to a caregiver or loved one and feel secure both when they are with you and when they are away from you. When done with care by both cuddlers — two enthusiasts or a client and a pro — it can help heal trauma and lead to healthier independence and interdependence.
@GODHANDS
I find it disheartening and "ego-blowing" if someone has an experience with me and doesn't become attached, either pro or enthusiast...
To preserve your ego then, I would highly recommend you stick with enthusiasts. I do not think it is in any way professional to become "attached" to your clients, especially in the way the OP described, and it's not what I'm okay with as a professional.
...not romantically , but meaning the time with me was so fun and enjoyable, that they anticipate our next session...
You don't have to be unhealthily attached to someone in order to enjoy time together. I always anticipate the next session I have with a regular cuddler. I absolutely benefit from the companionship, which is why I do this in the first place. That's not the kind of attachment the OP is talking about.
...your cuddler did EXACTLY what she was supposed to do leave you craving for more !!!....
I think you're missing the point of this post. I don't think anyone did anything they weren't supposed to. The OP is describing experiencing less-than-professional feelings for a professional, and honestly, this comment also implies something inappropriate.
Booking a professional and hoping/expecting that they become attached to you is not appropriate. This isn't a dating site.