Changing Orientation

carrieanne

I’m thinking of listing Asexual as my orientation. I show that I’m straight on the site right now. Honestly I’ve always thought there’s something different about myself and I likely fall into Demisexual orientation.
I don’t want to deter anyone from wanting a session with me. I’m wondering if straight men would skip me if I list that. Sex isn’t a part of Cuddling so they shouldn’t!
Would love to hear everyone’s opinion!

CuddleDuncan

It would make no difference me... but I'm not sure how typical a client I am! Quite a lot of clients wouldn't notice, I would suspect.

There is a minority of men clients who would find that change helpful. I don't know how big that group is, but it's not tiny.

You can easily change it back on the site if you want to. I appreciate that there are questions of being true to yourself in changing in either direction, the point I'm making is that changing one field on one website isn't what defines you. Maybe you should just try it and see what happens.

You could not use that field at all, and say something briefly right at the bottom of your profile. Anybody who has read that far is unlikely to be put off by it.

cde123

Orientation doesn't show up when we view pro profiles, so it should make no difference.

There is a loophole that you can still search for pros by orientation, but I would be surprised if anybody does that. It took me forever to notice that filter was even available.

beaubliss

Thanks @cde123 for turning my attention to the filtering by orientation! Hadn't noticed myself under advanced filters that one can choose such.

@carrieanne, I think it makes a world of difference, though @CuddleDuncan may be right insofar as few will notice. Many don't even read session descriptions of pros, and equally, many pros do not read the details of the inquiring enthusiast. I, for one, would love to have a few more choices on orientation, especially demisexual and sapiosexual, as for me, I would be far more inclined to schedule with someone who describes themselves as such. First, I would feel understood prior to our session, and second, I would be able to move into the kind of conversation that I so enjoy much more quickly.

As regards asexual orientation, well, it could be helpful for the group Duncan referred to, but it could also happily dissuade enthusiasts that wouldn't want to be cuddled by someone of that orientation. It has nothing to do with non-sexual sessions, which are a given on this site, but rather to do with energy. For example, someone who characterizes themselves as "lesbian" could be one that truly does not enjoy male energy.....or at least is perceived as such by men who inquire. An asexual orientation could also be more sensitive to affectionate embraces that are then potentially misinterpreted, energetically.

It's a very sensitive subject, but I would encourage you to list according to your actual orientation.....and see what happens. But at least to me, demisexual is very different from asexual, and I would be far more inclined to schedule with a demi.....and even more so with a sapio

CuddleDuncan

@beaubliss I think your point about orientation sometimes making a difference even though the session is truly non-sexual is right.

I was once having a very serious conversation with somebody about my difficulties with cuddling men. (Sadly I'm not cool enough to cuddle with men: I do very happily hug men.) She asked if it would make any difference if the man was gay or straight. I had not considered this question, so I did. My conclusion was that it made very little difference to me, but that if I did have a preference it would be to cuddle with a gay man.

It's not hard for me to imagine that something that is no more than marginal for me, might be a somewhat bigger consideration for somebody else.

When cuddling with women, orientation definitely makes no difference to me.

xandriarain

I purposefully do not include my orientation, religion, relationship status or body type in my profile. (I primarily don’t include body type because body type is very subjective and my body changes all the time). If its not something you could be legally asked in a job interview it is not something you need to disclose to prospective clients who are just viewing your profile. I was once rejected by a potential client because we had differing religious views. If I were you I would just leave orientation blank, this is a platonic service and it’s really no one’s buisness. You can share those things with clients once you get to know them if they are curious about your personal life and you feel comfortable sharing.

beaubliss

Though I respect your perspective @xandriarain, there are enthusiasts who disagree, including me. I want to know the body type of the cuddler I'm going to meet. I have cuddled all sizes and shapes, and I definitely prefer particular bodies with which to cuddle. And if the profile and karma are so compelling that size is less a factor, I still want to know who I'm going to meet. Virtually every cuddler I schedule with also wants a picture, not to decide whether or not to cuddle me, but just to know, be prepared, for whom they are to meet. We have age listed, and that's important to many, why not body size? Yes, body size changes, and so if one goes from "a little extra", to "athletic", one can change their profile.

Your analogy for a job interview doesn't work for me.....a job interview is done in person, so one can see the body size, the smile (or lack thereof), the feeling of the other. And it really isn't a "job interview" when an enthusiast chooses a cuddler, at least not for me; cuddling is very intimate, and the energy mixing is huge.

However, I do agree with you about relationship status....and orientation. It's private. The tendency in society today to divulge religion, orientation, status is confusing to me. If we want to share because a level of trust has arisen, then people in freedom have chosen to.

That being said, I also think that if some, either pros or enthusiasts, feel better about sharing such details publicly, for a host of reasons, they certainly should. I, for one, want my status of "married" to be known; I am not looking for a relationship beyond the professional, though I have made a friend or two.....it just feels good to me to be recognized as married, and more than a couple of pros have expressed surprised that a happily married guy enjoys cuddling

It all goes into the mix of who we choose for cuddling, and it actually demonstrates just how complex humans are!

xandriarain

@beaubliss I don’t hide my body, I do include a full body photo. I just don’t list my body type because body type is subjective. When I first joined the site I listed my body type as average but then a client said that I should say I’m athletic. When I was at my heaviest weight and felt huge another client said I was skinny. Depending on whom you ask my body could be classified under a number of different body types. I just let people use their eyes and make their own judgements rather than being accused of misleading someone.

Also clients that want a super specific body type probably wouldn’t want to work with me long term because my weight fluctuates a lot

Sheena123

Yea I’ve had some say I’m majorly overweight while others said I’m athletic. It really just depends on the person. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Originalirish

From the perspective of someone who works in education: If you are going to list it on your profile, I would say choose and then stick with it...if you choice is truly "you", of course. I once had a middle schooler who changed their pronouns every other day/week, and would then yell at me when I got them wrong, lol. I'm not saying this is an adult trait or that that's what you are doing...but it can be confusing to change an orientation for those that already know you as one orientation in particular, and you may run the risk of losing sessions from past clients.