PSA I am not a call girl

xandriarainxandriarain
in Professional Cuddling

Don’t ask me or any other professional cuddler to come to your hotel late at night, last minute. I am not a call girl. Please and Thank you.

In all seriousness this happens at least once a month and gives me a really icky feeling every time it happens.

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Comments

  • beaublissbeaubliss

    Your feelings deserve to be respected. I would perhaps bold in your description that you are never available for late night, or last minute.

    However, please don't assume that one would have to be a "call girl" to schedule spontaneous, late night sessions. I remember one that I had with a lovely pro who cuddles after she gets off work as a cocktail server in Vegas. I happened to be up late (or early, can't recall) and was both restless and sleepless, and a good session with her completely energized and relaxed me....it was perfect, and also 3am! Not only was it not an icky feeling for her, she preferred it.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @beaubliss was this your first time meeting her? Had you spoken with her before? I think it’s one thing if someone has their availability said to 3 AM, etc. My profile and my website all say what my hours are and that I do require a consultation call and a deposit before the first session. So I’m not accusing Cuddle of therapists who meet clients late at night of being called girls I do feel like I’m getting treated like a call girl if someone wants me to come to their hotel room very late at night especially when I have never even had a video call or met them in person before, that’s very much the way escorts are treated. I also hate it when clients give me cash in an envelope for the same reason especially if they put it on a dresser or a table rather than handing it to me directly.

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear

    @beaubliss what you are describing doesn’t seem to be at all what @xandriarain is saying. Sure, if a pro allows same-day late night hotel cuddles with someone, they may not view that request as being treated like a call girl. But that is not at all what xandria’s profile indicates. If someone completely ignores her profile and messages her at 3am asking her to come to their hotel room without any sort of pre-screening or anything, why would you tell her to not presume she’s being treated like a call girl? There’s plenty of creeps looking for exactly that and considering the amount of inappropriate requests pros get, I would think a pro needs to be extremely cautious and to view that type of request as something that is most likely not platonic.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Yea, there are times where I feel like I’m being treated like I’m fast food. I’m not a pizza delivery dude… this takes a tiny bit of back and forth first 😅

  • WKplatonicWKplatonic
    edited February 2023

    Some like to make it worse for the rest of us. What do some don't understand about "platonic"?

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @WKCuddles, a surprising proportion of offenders genuinely don't know what 'platonic' means. This level of ignorance can, in general, only be attained by an ordinary adult in the presence of a lifelong and resolute determination not to look up any unfamiliar words.

  • [Deleted User]Leyhill (deleted user)

    Many, many people do not understand the "cuddling" scene. It was even hard for me to explain to my friends and relatives what a cuddling session was. In fact, I told very few because I knew the others would not understand. In the minds of many, cuddling is just another euphemism for escort. So it is not surprising that men contact cuddlers , whatever time of day or night it is, with the wrong idea.

  • [Deleted User]Leyhill (deleted user)
    edited February 2023

    @xandriarain ..I am sorry how it makes you feel when clients leave cash in an envelope especially if they put it on a dresser. Have you thought about it from the clients perspective? Think about how he is feeling if the cash is in his hand and he is passing it to you, a woman he has never met, whether it be in your home, his home or in a hotel room. To most men this is foreign, so he feels better that the cash is concealed in an envelope, and somehow, may feel better about placing it on a dresser rather than in your hand.

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg
    edited February 2023

    @xandriarain

    I also hate it when clients give me cash in an envelope for the same reason especially if they put it on a dresser or a table rather than handing it to me directly.

    Oh I am super guilty of this. I always leave it in a nice envelope right at the entrance, point it out to the pro, and go 'brush my teeth' to let them count the money (I mean I do, but its an excuse to leave).

    I always considered it common courtesy to take care of the money right off the bat and let them verify it, I never thought it would make someone uncomfortable. Does it help that I buy really cute envelopes?

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    @tacpmurg oh those are sooo cute 🌸 I have a few very respectful cuddlers that do this and I honestly don’t mind. Every pro is different. Some find it uncomfortable and others prefer it so it’s hard to have an exact way to operate with every single pro. I love when it’s in a neat envelope or pile by my bedside table so I don’t have to awkwardly ask for it before our cuddle.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited February 2023

    I can think of three reasons to put cash in an envelope.

    • Firstly, because the amount is sufficiently large that you need something to keep the notes together. This would rarely happen in cuddling except perhaps for an overnight session.

    • The second is create a sense of it being a gift rather than a payment, This doesn't apply to a professional cuddler, in the same way it doesn't apply to a plumber or a massage therapist.

    • The third is to hide or obscure the fact that money is being exchanged at all. Again, this doesn't apply to cuddling.

    For the second and third reasons sex workers sometimes prefer envelopes (and also indirect payment via a surface such as a table). We also have an expression in the UK about 'brown envelopes' which refers to a bribe or some kind of illicit payment. "How on earth did he get that job, he's not remotely qualified!" "I think a brown envelope may have been involved."

    In other words I would say that envelopes (even pretty ones!) are generally inappropriate in the context of professional cuddling.

    The placing of the money on a surface for the other person to pick up is used to create a sense that an exchange is not taking place. That is to say, it serves much the same function as the second or third reasons for an envelope.

    I've never used an envelope for a cuddling payment. When professionals are coming to my flat I do sometimes put the money on a surface in advance, but that's mostly because it's just part of getting ready for their arrival. Or at their place I count it out onto a surface while they are getting my water or tea, and leave it there because it would be inconvenient to exchange tea and cash at the same time.

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg
    edited February 2023

    Huh TIL, I really wouldn't have guessed this was such a contentious topic with such different viewpoints.

    EDIT

    Ima keep doing it though lol, I adore buying new envelopes each time. 🤷

    EDIT 2

    😔 Well shoot, I asked, and apparently they agree with @xandriarain .. thats deflating I thought it was fun. Im kinda sad about the whole thing now!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    Oh, I nearly forgot:

    • Fourthly, because you really like buying beautiful envelopes, and it seems a shame not to use them.
  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I did not realize people would have such strong viewpoints about how the money is given either @tacpmurg. But I can see both views. I think the envelopes you use are really nice and if I were a pro I would be really OK with being paid that way on the dresser. I am glad to learn about these different viewpoints.

    @CuddleDuncan LOL.

  • MissAdventurousMissAdventurous

    Vouching for @tacpmurg and their adorable, artsy envelopes. I still have mine - I love the sentiment personally. 😂😊

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg

    @MissAdventurous you are honestly the best, thankyou 😭🤗🥰

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    My post was put in right? Everyone’s posts afterwards makes it like mine didn’t exist lol I want to make sure it’s understood that there are multiple people like myself that like the envelope idea

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg

    @Sheena123 haha my bad sheena you are awesome too! Thank you for the kind words and perspective.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Oh thank god lol there were a few posts I was making in multiple threads that didn’t look like they were posting so I was starting to get worried 😅

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear

    @tacpmurg woah those envelopes look so cool!

    I hadn’t ever used an envelope for cuddle money. I think I am afraid I would be giving the impression that I wanted to obscure the money, as if paying was something to be embarrassed about. That’s just me though, and what I think someone else would be thinking is almost always wrong 😅

    I just know that if I was given money in an envelope like those, I’d be pretty stoked ☺️

  • xandriarainxandriarain
    edited February 2023

    @tacpmurg those are cool envelopes. I wouldn’t feel offended if you paid me with one of those pretty envelopes especially if you handed it to me rather than putting it on the table/ dresser.
    And as @CuddleDuncan said the reason I feel this way is because it feels like the client thinks we are doing something seedy, illegal, shameful wrong and that they see this as akin to sex work since thats often how sex workers get paid in the movies. And my attitude is that cuddle therapy is a legitimate professional service and if you can hand your ( massage therapist, personal trainer, plumber etc) cash directly you can hand me cash directly.

  • tacpmurgtacpmurg
    edited February 2023

    Im glad we all agree than that I have the best envelopes.

    /thread

    /s

  • cde123cde123

    One thing about those fancy envelopes is that they are supposed to contain crisp new bills. I don't use the envelopes but I did head to the bank and get clean $100's to show some respect.

  • MelancholyMelancholy

    I just use cashapp for my favorite pro cuddler .
    not that I've seen one in ages....but the last time I did I used it.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @tacpmurg can we be pen pals do that I can get some of your envelopes? I'll send Stamps ...

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited February 2023

    FWIW I did this not long ago when I got some manscaping downstairs . I honestly think part of it was due to my semi awkwardness of having a stranger handle my junk while navigating the process . Part of me was a little shy to make eye contact lol . Now that I think about it , I very well could have insulted them by putting the cash on the dresser when I got up to pee after. Not my intention and she didnt seem bothered by it but you never know

  • CharlieBearCharlieBear

    @pmvines I think they definitely deserve to be paid with a fancy envelope in that case 😂

  • HalfnuggieHalfnuggie

    Envelopes are pretty customary for my background. I'd add that it shows a level of decorum and I enjoy seeing someone follow a protocol like that. I imagine them taking it out the envelope recounting it, to make sure its all there and maybe adding alil some some more. Haha. Using an envelope for the cash is the definition of, "it's the thought that counts". The envelope may never see the light of day again. But definitely can see how not being given the money directly is certainly a problem the first few go arounds.

  • xandriarainxandriarain

    @Halfnuggie, what is your background?

  • carrieannecarrieanne

    Wow I had no idea about the way payment is made to a Pro as having certain meanings or relating to Call Girls. Since I know nothing about that business, guess I’m too naive. I don’t mind if they set it on a table or hand it to me. BUT now I know that if they set it on the table, they are used to doing that based on their own past experience in hiring from a different industry?? …. Lol. Good to know!!

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