My Dad will be moving in.

BearBear
in General

My dad is getting old and it's getting to the point where he shouldn't level alone. I will have to clean out my second bedroom and move them in with me. I've been alone since at least 2015. I haven't really had guests but I've always known that I live by myself. I wouldn't be a problem having somebody over. I have finally gotten my act together you can say, and I am able to host again. Now I feel like this is going to possibly be an issue. For hosting that is.

I'm curious about other peoples perspectives and being in a similar situation as well.

Comments

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    How early do they go to sleep? How far is your room from theirs? Those could be the determining factors.
    My parents have been gone since early 2000s. I miss them every day, especially when I think of all the things I never asked them.
    I hope yours could write a journal for you, about their childhood and past. That’s what I wish I knew.
    My kids don’t seem interested in these things yet so I need to write them down.
    I hope this can be a wonderful experience for all of you, but I know it’s not easy. 🤗 🤗🤗

  • BearBear

    There is a staircase to the attic in between the two rooms. I my mom passed in 2015 and I miss not being able to talk to her. Since Covid my dad has declined and his memory is not the same.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Sorry to hear about your mom, I know how you feel.
    I think in this situation you might be able to still host, it may take a couple of weeks to get your routine going before you know.
    Would he understand the idea of platonic cuddling? Who knows, maybe your dad would want a cuddler too!
    My daughter wants me to move in with her and my extremely active grandson to save $$.
    Pretty sure that would be the end of my hosting! Lol

  • BearBear

    He does not really understand having platonic woman friends. It will take time to adjust.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    For what it is worth, I have cuddled with a married pro with her husband in the house. He knew everything going on and supported her work. I never saw him but I heard him working in the basement and coming up to the kitchen while we were in the living room. It really isn’t a problem having someone else in the house IF they understand what cuddling is about. If they don’t, then all bets are off.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan Mod

    It's absolutely true that having other people in the house doesn't matter at all, as long as everybody is comfortable.

    However, I was caught cuddling in bed by my mum at my parents house. She knew my cuddle-buddy was staying of course, we'd all had dinner together, but she doesn't understand at all about cuddling in spite of my attempts to explain. My parents are early 80s, devoted and sincere lifelong Christians. Anyway, she just laughed. I don't know if she told my dad, and it doesn't matter.

    My point is just that they don't have to understand, they just have to accept.

  • deefinedeefine

    Adults living on their own without their parents or children in the same living space is uncommon in human history.

    The golden age of the working class decades ago showed that we could afford to live on our own as adults.

    Now that that's being whittled away, it's more likely that parents or children will move in.

  • BearBear

    It will take time to get use to. Easier in the long run to care for him.

  • BadIdeasBadIdeas

    Did you live with your mom prior to this?

  • BearBear

    My mom and my dad lived together. They are three blocks away. My mom went into hospice in 2014 and passed away in 2015. I've been taking care of my dad ever since. Especially since he doesn't drive. He went from walking OK to use in a cane and now a walker.

  • BadIdeasBadIdeas

    You’ve devoted a lot of your life to their care. Hopefully you find time for yourself too

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