I think, as always, the unspoken rules & tone on the forums can be misunderstood, especially to someone new to the site. Anyone attacking another poster for any reason shows a lack of empathy also. Leave the reprimands to the mods maybe and just be nice. Kindly clarify or explain when necessary. Do you really want to chase new members away when they really didn’t understand how this all works?
Of course this thread is about a woman who was treated very badly/traumatized during a session, I personally know how that feels, just like most of the women here. Let’s not beat up on anyone for any reason. Play nice everyone. Hugs 🤗
Standing up for others isn't apathetic, actually. Wait? People don't realize they're not supposed to jump on a thread where a woman was hurt and say demeaning things? HOLD ON A SECOND.
I basically agree with and respect the "play nice" advice. But I think we have to consider what message it sends if no one stands up for the victim other than the mods. Maybe I am 100% wrong ... I have been before ... but if I were in the OP's shoes, and saw no other member calling this out, I would seriously question what this site stands for.
Honestly I don’t think that was her intention. I could be wrong. I just find the cat claws a turn off and doesn’t help the OP. Let’s focus on her and the support she needs. If you don’t like something someone says here, dm them and let them know how it’s done here. I know people are different now. I’m from a different generation and attacking someone publicly puts you in a bad light.
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@stormydaycuddle i would like to request for you to be my online bodyguard
@Charlie_bear you're so sweet. If you ever need a body guard online...the attacking person is depraved.
@carrieanne while I still stand for my general message against insensitive comments I will agree that this message may have been unintended. I'll let it go. Hugs. And ty for the DM.
I am so thankful for meeting my first cuddle partner on this website. She is a pro with a great vetting process and she made me feel comfortable right away. She taught me so much but one of the most important things she taught me was proper communication during a cuddle - checking in with your partner and asking before moving a hand anywhere.
You may know you are only wanting to move your hand from your partner’s upper back to their lower back but when you are touching someone you only met 15 minutes ago, they don’t know where that hand is going. You can do so much to put each other at ease with a simple “would you mind if I move my hand to your lower back.”
@stormydaycuddle Thanks and I’m still learning all the time! 🤗
I'm not sure I understand what gentlemanx was trying to say. sounds nonsensical....and what is the upside happy face supposed to mean? I don't see how anyone can really say what he's trying to say with that weird comment.
Cuddling or not if someone sets a boundary, respect it.
If they tell you to stop something, no matter how innocent the intention of the touch may have been on your part, stop it and respect what they are saying.
You don't even need to understand why it's their boundary, just respect it. Then, of course this goes 1000% more when touching is involved. And another 1000% more when spending time from a site like this and the mission of people here. I'm always concerned about people who are to afraid to speak up and say "No." for whatever reason. But when you are flat out told, there's just no way around that in my mind.
Im not quite sure how the reporting system and what not works, but it sounds like it was egregious enough to report.
Sorry to hear that, you shouldn't meet him again in the future
If you read some of the profiles people not respecting individuals happens. Its sad how a beautiful journey can turn ugly. Guys be right with yourself and your intentions before you decide to reach out. Ladies do the same. If you cannot, kick rocks and go someplace else instead of impacting lives in such a negative way that will last for years because someone needed a moment of gratification. Ill just keep it real for the fellas, growing up with a bunch of women I am quick to kick ass first and maybe ask why later. Think about that next time you feel like your losing control. Somebody that you do not know may just show you some manners.
Reported, reviewed, and leaving intact with a warning, @Bgucci3724 - a threat of violence, regardless of intention, is not appropriate on this site. Thanks. [-Sid]
I do not mind taking a timeout for this post. Hits waaaay to close to home for a man with a bunch of sisters, momma, grandma, aunties....
@BgstickTeddyBea Exactly. If all you can do is mistreat someone, just go kick some rocks and leave everybody alone.
I think everyone should watch disclosure movie with Demi Moore and Micheal Douglas. That’s where I learnt the power of NO.. there’s got to be no flexibility with NO… No means NO… definitely have to respect the No from whichever side it’s coming.. I do sympathize with the thread initiator and such guys should be reported banned from cc
Nice. I like how I get a moderator comment for stating an opinion but there is literally a guy threatening violence against others 2 comments before me who people will cheer on I think this is how Elon Musk moderates.
Moderators respond to things that get flagged. We may respond to things we are interested in if we have time. If you want to be on the moderator radar and get attention like Elon Musk demands, you have succeeded, @jpdacuddler .[-Sid]
@jplemmon I can't think of too many sites where you could go and proclaim the site "hateful" and get a pat on the back from the mods.
Uh….this thread quickly took on a life of its own….
Back to the original post. @EFORR I am sincerely sorry for your experience. There is no excuse or justification for someone to violate your spoken boundaries. Consent is an ongoing process and enthusiastic consent is the gold standard.
Having first said that, I have ADHD and PTSD and I’m what is know as an “active cuddler” (there is an earlier thread about this) and I tend to do a lot of caressing (rubbing) that is not “inappropriate” per the site rules, but some people don’t like it. Because this is my issue and not my cuddle partner’s, I frequently check in to make sure my partner is comfortable and enjoying the cuddle experience.
Maybe it would help, if at the beginning of the cuddle, you plan to have a break after 30 minutes to discuss the experience and make necessary corrections - or end the session. Of course, if someone violates a boundary you’ve already set, I agree with the majority of comments; that you should end the session immediately, report, and block.
@WriterGF it's an OPINION. Are we talking about moderation or a dictatorship? I want the forum to be a place of open discussion and fair moderation. I regret that it often gets biased in one direction. There is hate on both sides but only one side seems to pay the price and a lot of times it's just touchiness about words. If those on the "good" side threatened to blow up a school I fear that would probably not even get a warning on here.
You can bet that ANYONE threatening to blow up a school on here is banned. IDK what "side" means here - it's not like CC has red and blue teams - but to your point, one's OPINION on here gets tempered by forum rules and TOS. Like it or leave it, @jplemmon . [-Sid]
It seems like people with an axe to grind try to insert their beef into every discussion. They may be legitimate beefs, idk and I don’t care. I just wish we could keep the focus on the op who experienced a violation of her boundaries.
@jplemmon It's a privately owned site, so ownership gets to decide what is acceptable commentary and what isn't.
Get on topic, folks. Much obliged.
@jplemmon sometimes its about tact you know , time and place . Know your audience . Look at the thread topic and then ask yourself whether it's the best thread to air your grievance about thinking thr forum is "hateful", and to engage in complaints about forum moderation. I don't intend this to be a back and forth because I feel the original topic needs to be respected, just am trying to give some food for thought.
@pmvines Fair enough. You are right. I think the topic of fairness in forum moderation deserves it's own thread instead of derailing this thread. I guess it was easier to include some context since I was referring to interactions in this thread. I'll step away nevertheless.
Apologies to @EFORR for the thread comments I made. @jplemmon feel free to message me and we can conversate if you would like.
@BgstickTeddyBea sorry I honestly didn't mean to drag you into it. I had a different "axe to grid". My apologies to you. I assumed you didn't mean to promote anything violent.