my dog is definitely FOR cuddling, but she breaks the "kissing" and "nude" rules. So... She's been banned.
Comment from a merged thread, "People Cuddling Without Their Pets Knowledge" [Charlie_Bear]
I hope no one will start a new thread with “people cuddling without neighbors knowledge “ This is a valid thread especially if you are hosting or a pro is. Suddenly you see strange people coming and going and it will be a question in someone’s mind
Let’s clear that as well 😀
Comment from a merged thread, "People Cuddling Without Their Pets Knowledge" or the parents thread...I am not sure [Charlie_Bear]
I actually don't tell my parents or most people that I know outside of this community about it aside from my uncle and one other friend who don't get why I'd pay for cuddles. I could see my mom talking to my grandma about it and be trying to get me to date someone of their choosing out of concern and not approving of this. Definitely don't want that situation or uncomfortable conversation.
Comment from a merged thread, "People Cuddling Without Their Parents Knowledge" [Charlie_Bear]
Mom? Is that you?!
I tried to keep my boxer from seeing me cuddling with my cuddle buddy. But one night he walked in and saw us. I shooed him away.
After she had left, he came up to me and gave me "the look."
Lol @stormydaycuddle - almost had you. But it's interesting to consider who we tell and who we don't and the reasons behind it. It's too idealistic of me to think everyone would understand or accept having this dynamic. But I'll allow myself this soft little dream😊
I honestly have been trying to normalize it since I’ve started cuddling, but say if I want to date, and would like to openly talk about what I do other than caregiving, cause I’ve been a pro since 2018, I very frequently get asked “is that what they’re calling SW these days?” I’m like “mind if I smack you across the face with a dictionary that will give you the definition of the two so your small mind can read the differences?” So as much as I’d love to shout it out to the world, I have to get to know people first outside of this community and see where their head is before I even bother to bring up this wonderful community. Because I’d hate to be the reason people like that end up joining the community and bringing that mindset along with them. It’s really tough out here for a Pro and a lot of what we have to individually deal with. On a light note my mother knows I’m a cuddler. She doesn’t judge me. My father and his side of the family though don’t speak to me and they assume what most people do, since they are aware that I’ve been a professional cuddler. However this is the main community I have been a part of where I can literally be myself and be accepted, where people actually respect me and want to hear my story when we cuddle, it has been an honor for the most part to have men and woman from this community be more accepting of me than anywhere else I’ve been. ✨
@SitaRosee , love your insight my friend and whether you realize it or not you serve as a great inspiration for this community and for pros wanting others to understand this dynamic.
i haven’t asked my parents permission for anything since i was 9
What a can of worms! 😂
@SitaRosee I wish it could be normalized as well but, as you mentioned, some people would come to sites like these and "poison the well." I think it would be beneficial even among people who aren't strangers to learn about normalizing positive touch - emotionally distant families, for example.
Balanced out by discussions on respecting boundaries of course. I won't say touch is the cure for everything that ails you but it's definitely undervalued as a facet of therapeutic care and bonding.
But regarding the topic - I should tell my father about CC (mom passed); it would probably help him not be so mad about politics and millennials 😆
@IsMeArrggh thank you so much for your words! I am not perfect by all means and to be honest my emotions have gotten the best of me throughout this journey, I really don’t like to get emotional but even with sessions, I cried a few nights ago during a session and ended it early. I told my cuddle partner, “look if we could just cuddle, it would be so comforting, it’s truly what I need right now. But you’re not able to control yourself from what I’m seeing and I will not be giving you multiple warnings, so I’m leaving.” I left. But say when we meet people who do understand this service and it’s a great time for both of us, I’m like wow those who don’t understand the true meaning of it and how beneficial it is to our mental health, they truly are missing out, and it’s what keeps me here
I can understand not wanting to cuddle with people who are hiding their actions from their partner. Drama is something I highly wish to avoid. I also have this requirement, though obviously there can be exceptions as you mentioned.
Also I like your profile. To the point and efficient. If you get a lot of messages from people who don't meet those requirements when posted that's a shame.
I practically raised myself so like someone else said above, I have asked my parents’ permission for anything since I was about 9.
haha. Some dogs do get jelly
Wow, let's not get all crazy now!
@JasonCuddles Yes - exactly this, not open to inviting possible harm on me or my family. Beyond that, lying to your spouse isn't the greatest character reference 🤔 So why would I trust them to be spooning my rear end? Lol
Apparently, I need to clarify about the cognitive ability of spouses but, hand to God, if I get a message saying "My wife is in a vegetative state" then I'm going back on mute 😆
This situation is really a drop in the bucket here so, now I'll just bemoan the fact that everyone I click with is several states away.
How do you determine if they are married or whether they have told their spouse? They could just lie to you. I also don’t see why you think their relationship has anything to do with your service. What if they have a girlfriend? That any different? Just seems invasive.
@dave31415
I also don’t see why you think their relationship has anything to do with your service.
She's an enthusiast. She is not providing a "service".
@Calibrate715
I am right there with ya!
@Everyone - I merged the two topics. If anyone starts a "people cuddling without their guardian angel's knowledge thread," or any other derivative, I'll be merging it into this one.
Much obliged.
@bddole - partners - not parents on this one lol. Oh wait, just saw the merge.
@dave31415 As someone pointed out - enthusiast here. Even if I was a pro, the same boundary would still stand.
And my boundary is "invasive" you say - but them asking me to participate in deception isn't disrespectful, presumptuous, and inconsiderate? Asking me to risk being harmed by a pissed off spouse isn't?
And you're right - everyone here can lie. But I trust my gut and pay attention. You also won't be able to catch every liar you cross paths with. But, I am in no rush to meet any and everyone that contacts me. So trust that I'll do my due diligence to ensure their honesty.
I'm not one to be a crutch to anyone. Communicate openly and honestly with your spouse and, if you can't, find a therapist/pastor, etc. to facilitate such communication.
What I will give is comfort and positive touch. I'm not a venue for people to avoid their problems.
@Charlie_Bear looks around And yet I don't see you😆
And things just got a little whirly but I think it was already happening on all of them so...
@Rezzi I think even if a person was a pro with this boundary, it's pretty ridiculous people think they should overlook it because a client wanted them to🤔
There's all this talk of boundaries and consent being given on this site. But the low-key mockery for my personal boundaries is saying far more about some people than it is about me 🤷🤷🤷
@Calibrate715 for the record I don't think pros should drop anything they don't want to. I think there (maybe without intending to) was a lot of trashing of married people who use this site. I get where you're coming from and people who are pros do what they want. I think not trashing people you don't understand is probably a better line of thought than demonizing. (absolutely not you) AS AN ENTHUSIAST I'm not talking about you at all. Just to be clear. And boundaries ARE boundaries. Some of the comments were bordering complete disregard though. None of yours. AND that is why I'm going off about it so heavily.
Removed my comment.
@stormydaycuddle I never felt you were coming for me. I think everything you mentioned was regarding pros as far as I'm aware.
I think my assessment of people crossing my boundaries is pretty spot-on so I wouldn't consider it demonizing them. I can, however, consider them turds with no guilt on this end.
@Calibrate715 just wanted to be clear. Lol. I go for a lot of people (not intended to be personal to them but their arguments) . You aren't one of them. In any way. Hugs.
@Calibrate715 Haha I am sorry, I need to acquire some teleportation powers.
@stormydaycuddle Oh! To clarify, I didn't make the previous comment based on anything you said about pros. It was the reaction of some statements that implied pros shouldn't be concerned about such things (with some assuming I was one). Or that I'm being "judgemental."
One - pros are people too and just in as much risk of harm as an enthusiast. People being one or the other doesn't matter in terms of boundaries.
Two - not laying my whole life out here but I barely judge anyone. What I will do is mitigate my risk, just like anyone else here.
Sorry if you thought I was directing anything at you. I can be spicy too; I get it lol hugs
@Charlie_Bear Yes! Did we learn nothing from Star Trek???😆