Feeling frustrated...looking for ideas

PinetownCloud

Hi everyone,

I'm turning here because the community has lots of good ideas.

I'm hoping you can offer some thoughts, I'm getting disappointed in finding things to do for my next session.

I'm planning to see my first pro for the second time. She's super nice, neither of us host so we do public. I've discovered the majority of what's between us is older run down or sketchy unsafe places.

I'd like to go to the beaches or mini-golfing but it's too far for the length of our sessions.

I'm ok to go out but still recovering from surgery so I need something low key where I won't get hurt, I'm until the end of the month.

She doesn't like dining out, I guess I wouldn't either cause there's not much physical contact plus I don't like small talk.

I'm trying to find some kind of cozy coffee shop we could play cards or boardgames for couple of hours, not sure where to find one where I live.

I've thought of going to the botanical-gardens with her, lots of benches or gazebos to cuddle while taking in nature.

Lastly, we could go to the movies like before but I'm trying to diversify our experience.

Thanks

TheFunCartel

@PinetownCloud May I ask a question? It sounds like she is uncomfortable cuddling in public with complete strangers watching while you seem to think it’s no big deal. Have you had a conversation with her about her comfort levels with public cuddling and how that aligns with your comfort level?

Damn. I questioned and answered myself in the first sentence.

Midnight01

I thought this site was for cuddling....

PinetownCloud

@FunCartel

No, she doesn't seem to be bothered, she has done lots of public events she said, themeparks, +1 to parties. She was fine with the cuddling in the movie with other people there.

She's only given me one limit which was not dining out.

@Midnight01 I had someone contact me asking about having a cuddle dynamic like this (meals out and talking). Initially, I was just confused because I saw cuddling as being more in line with physical acts like spooning.

But I've realized there are a lot of different ways people feel that same close connection and comfort and still define it as "cuddling." It could be anything from holding hands and sitting on a park bench to engaging in yoga together.

While I'm fairly mainstream in how I prefer it - bed cuddles, movie on/some chatting - I realized my version isn't everyone's cuddle version.

PinetownCloud

@Midnight01

There's lots of places or ways to cuddle, half the users here offer Zoom or texting sessions which isn't cuddling yet nobody is bothered by that.

What's the issue with holding hands in the movies or cuddling in parks? I've seen others here post the same thing.

PinetownCloud

@Calibrate715

I'm not on the comfort level rigjt now of jumping into someone's bed in pajamas to cuddle.

I was under the impression I could just go have fun, safe public outings with folks here platonically, nothing I've ever suggested to pros was in violation of the rules or inappropriate.

I've seen pros tell me they've done or offer some of these outings so I felt no issue in requesting or suggesting them.

Midnight01

There's zero issue with cuddling in parks...because that's cuddling. Playing cards at a coffee shop isn't cuddling. Doing yoga together isn't cuddling. Virtual cuddling isn't cuddling, I don't care what anybody says. If you get comfort and joy in this, that's fine. But the way pros advertise for dinner dates, party dates, zoom sessions, etc. It's strange how we just change definitions. Make your money pros, but that's not really why this site exists.

PinetownCloud

Well it wasn't my intention of misusing this site, I'm sorry if I contributed to that.

I felt safe here because this community seems to watch out for each other to keep it that way.

I think I'm going to need to reconsider if this is for me.

The one in person session I got was the nicest time I've experienced in years so if that's it for me it then it was worth it.

TheFunCartel

I was under the impression I could just go have fun, safe public outings with folks here platonically, nothing I've ever suggested to pros was in violation of the rules or inappropriate.

@PinetownCloud They are out there and many have it on their profile what platonic activities they do outside of cuddling. Maybe just ask her where she will hang out or participate in a public activity outside of cuddling. People have their preferences. If she won’t meet publicly, then find someone else who will who has it listed in their profile.

@PinetownCloud There is absolutely nothing wrong with your version of cuddling❤️ I apologize if it seemed I implied it.

I was trying to explain how my own definition of cuddling has changed based on the request of another member. It opened up my perspective on how different it can be from person to person - especially in terms of the types of sessions a pro may offer.

While your version isn't my preferred, I wholeheartedly support you doing it in a way that brings you the same peace. I could use some improvement playing putt-putt myself lol - so maybe I'll consider something like it in the future 😊

imacuddlebum

This may sound silly and things may have changed but a library can be a great place. Back when I was dating my soon to be ex wife in college ….we would always go to the library. My college library was pretty big with a lot of nooks and crannies to cuddle. It was probably the only time we actually cuddled and it was fun. Unless times have changed I can’t believe too many people would object to a couple embracing each other…as long as it’s not in plain view. Just my two cents. Good luck.

PinetownCloud

@FunCartel

I think we're misunderstanding each other so forgive me, I chose my pro specifically because she has done some fun public outings that inspired me.

@Calibrate715

I didn't think you implied it, you're fine.

I guess I'll disclose, I have horrible OCD with people touching me or my things. I joined here to start off slow having physical contact in safe public settings to start to work on that...the week prior to my session I was required to go to this work event with lots of strangers that overwhelmed me.
So for me, holding hands in the movie with someone I just met, but felt safe with cause I met them here, was my first big step. I would've struggled to meet someone in their home or hotel cuddling on the bed or couch because I'm not there yet.

TheFunCartel

@PinetownCloud Art museums have many places to sit quietly and contemplate. Same with zoos. Stop by the chimps. I will be in that exhibit on my favorite tire on a rope.

PinetownCloud

@imacuddlebum

I like your 2 cents, someone else suggested libraries too because they often have little free to borrow rooms, I used to sit with my ex in Barnes & Noble thumbing through interesting books, despite the limited touch you do feel close to someone doing it.

@FunCartel

That's good too, I know there's one by the science museum not far from where she is.

cuddlefaery

Re: public cuddles - a lot of people view cuddling not just as the physical act of touch but also as the interpersonal act of creating emotional intimacy/trust/comfort that usually goes along with the physical part. It's as much about companionship as it is about touch. One of the benefits of hiring a pro vs pairing with an enthusiast is many pros have backgrounds in psychology, therapy, social work, trauma recovery, education, etc. and so are better equipped to work with people who are not as comfortable with "traditional" cuddling or who need a bit more guidance or skill-building. It's exactly for that reason I've been transitioning from my work in education to professional cuddling, to work with other people like myself who are neurodivergent, have mental and physical health struggles, touch trauma, social anxiety, etc.

@PinetownCloud I love your idea of the botanical gardens - a picnic or walk in a park is one of my go-tos. Some other ideas I have done that have worked well:

• going to an indie coffee shop to people watch and hold hands
• reading together side by side on a couch at the library
• going to a local farmers market or other neighborhood free event to wander, hold hands, sit and cuddle
• Attending a concert to dance (or wallflower sway) together
• ballroom, swing, Latin, or line dance classes - some bars will have free/cheap lesson nights on theme, especially in college towns, or you can try a studio
• Meetup and Eventbrite are a wealth of free and cheap events and groups to attend.

One thing to consider - almost anything can become a cuddling session/opportunity to practice touch by getting creative. Thumb wars to win arguments. Laying your heads in each other's laps & brushing each other's hair. Neck rubs while waiting in line. Hand massages while having deep philosophical discussions. Cheekily playing footsy under the table during dinner and seeing who laughs first. Impromptu dancing - grab hands and go for it! Sitting back to back to meditate and breathe. Laying side-by-side on the grass to star gaze before heading home.

I could probably go on forever, but hopefully you get the gist

JohnR1972

@PinetownCloud - absolutely nothing wrong with platonic activities such as those you described. I once met an out-of-state enthusiast I had been communicating with at a small airport and we jumped out of a plane together (well, we were falling through the sky together, we each jumped with a sky diving instructor).

Afterward we hugged and had a picnic under a giant shade tree at the airport. We were both too pumped up on adrenaline to actually cuddle but we had a very nice time together talking and getting to know each other.

Bear

Try googling things to do in your zip code.
I'm thinking music, museums, and zoos.

PinetownCloud

@cuddlefaery

That's quite the write up, good luck on your endeavors. You've mentioned something that's key to me, the companionship, I don't need to be caressing someone to feel close to them.

That's why I like the ideas of the farmer's markets or the gardens, museums, etc...spending time with someone while having pleasant experiences gives me the same sense of fulfillment if we were exclusively cuddling.

@JohnR1972

That's the coolest story I've seen on here.

@cuddlefaery I just love your heart❤️

PinetownCloud

@Calibrate715

That's the kind of post she wrote that should be stickied here or merged into the tutorials threads.

Tigerlilly32

@PinetownCloud -Absolutely nothing wrong with your view of cuddling!
I actually prefer outings like you listed.

From a woman’s perspective, it doesn’t feel like dating, at least it didn’t to me.

Some of us just aren’t willing to jump into a strangers bed or couch just like that .. but respect to pros ! 🫡

PinetownCloud

@Tigerlilly32

What's interesting is how two unknown people sharing something together can instantly have this connection, I don't want my sessions to feel like dates either so I specifically don't discuss our familys, jobs, educations, living situation, etc. because there's no need to, just have fun in the moment.

Tigerlilly32

@PinetownCloud you’re exactly right. It’s fun in the moment, you describe it perfectly dear.

It’s very fulfilling.

Yes to everything @cuddlefaery said!!

I’ve realized cuddling for me isn’t just in bed spooning, it could be sitting closely next to someone in a coffee shop, or draping my leg over theirs while we sit on a bench. I also enjoy holding hands or walking arm in arm… it’s really just about my mood and warm, physical touch. If I’m with a female, I may want her to sit on the floor while I sit in the bed or chair and I play with her hair or brush it.

My definition of cuddling extends to many forms of physical touch.

Even dancing could be considered a form of cuddling for me… and I hope I get to indulge in this very soon! ☺️

PinetownCloud

I've obviously cuddled significant others in my past relationships, despite how flawless some of those moment were they're not my favorites I'm most fond of. I'd have to go with shared experiences, often new things she introduced me to or other small moments of unexpected kindness.