Clients looking for more

CrystalWebb43

Recently I had a newbie person here wanting to book with me. I was hesitant to book with him but decided to give him a chance and booked. We exchanged numbers and I do like to text chat before the day of the session. So he was booked like a few days ahead and we talked alot he said he was recommended here. From the first day I chatted with him on here I made it clear I am not here to do anything ELSE OTHER THEN CUDDLING. He was like oh what made you feel the need to say this?? Lol well let me think because I had a few bad experiences on here. So anyways for those few days we texted he swore he would be respectful and so he arrives that day. Things were okay up until the last 20 mins he was getting friskier and FRISKIER WITH HIS HANDS. 👋 SO YEA I HAD TO PUT A STOP TO THIS OF COURSE. His hand landed right on my chest.
For days this guy swore he wasn't looking for more and made me feel like I was crazy to think he would want more. He had said to me judging from my PHOTOS I WAS A PLAIN JANE because I cover up my body with my clothes lol All I can say is WOW. This was his way of trying to get me to do more with him. Like wow. Unbelievable 😒

Sheena123

Unfortunately, there are a lot of guys looking and a lot of women selling. Both don’t belong here. All we can do is report and block.

Rezz

What @Sheena123 said.

Also screening, not giving out your number, keeping communication on site closes the door for a lot of these types. If we have a session scheduled I'm happy to discuss expectations and details during the screening but we are not going back and forth for days leading up to a session. Some take this as an invitation for a more personal relationship regardless of how much you stress platonic. If they see an inch, they will take a foot.

Next time grab your stuff , leave and report them. Don't give them a warning or a refund. They 100% know what they are doing and expect you to just deal with it.

carrieanne

Staying on site doesn’t even deter some of the guys!
I’ve been really shocked at what some men have said in messages to me on the site, pornographic in some cases! Like they are so clueless about how the site works and that messages are monitored. If they’re new, I get it.
But one Extremely Active on the forums, well-known older man said something so inappropriate to me in a message on the site that really grossed me out. I was extremely angry. He was so arrogant that he thought he could get away with it. He didn’t lol.

CrystalWebb43

Okay I have something to discuss about a man that sent me a booking proposal and this session is for tomorrow at 11am. I see he had three women he has seen and they all left great karma. I So we are text talking as of right now. After me discussing all my bad experiences through the site he actually had the nerve to ask me if he can be naked and can we kiss?? So interesting especially since he has saw 3 PROFESSIONAL CUDDLERS HERE. As he informed me one of these PROFESSIONALS is the one that was OPEN MINDED AS HE PUT IT. I screen shot his KARMA which are 3 women like I said and also screen shot his friends list which are 2 women. I felt this necessary as I felt for a long time now that sometimes it doesnt matter how much KARMA some of these people have and that goes for the professionals as well! I definitely made sure I took evidence of what he said to me here and everything else I mentioned with screenshots of the professionals he has saw!! Very upset right now!

cuddlefaery

Unfortunately the karma system is not a guarantee... it's only information.

For one thing, no abuser abuses every person. In fact, the worst abusers very carefully cultivate their persona with everyone - they have an amazing reputation so that no one will ever believe their victims' claims. They will be the most charming, most friendly, most caring people to groom their victims...and then it'll start slipping.

Secondly, the karma system is imperfect at best. Anyone can leave karma as long as they book a session through CC... They don't have to actually meet as there's no way for CC to verify. Pros also are not guaranteed verified at signup to ensure they are not scam accounts. This means that unless the pros leaving karma are active members of the forums or have otherwise been verified to be real people, for all we know they are fake accounts of the same person.

Karma can be very useful... But we should never rely on it for safety or put more stock in it than it is worth. Not all information is of the same quality, and quantity does not equal quality.

Lisa123

@Rowen1980 I understand the frustration. I've had sessions with people who were lovely for the 1st time (or 2) but then became suddenly plagued with wandering hands or have clothing requests. I learned quickly not to trust karma, which is very unfortunate

CuddleDuncan

Sometimes Karma is most useful by its absense. If a client has been on the site a long time and claims and appears to be an experienced client, but has no Karma .... it's a warning sign. Not a red flag - there are many reasons why somebody may have no Karma - just a heads up.

beaubliss

@Rowen1980 You have had some challenging situations, and how wonderful to have such a supportive community to air grievances with.....I hear stories from many other cuddlers who speak of many of the situations you have faced, so do know it's not you

Vetting is quite difficult. I try to help some of my cuddler friends read between the lines in the karma, as well as to go back to see what the client wrote in their karma of the cuddlers. You get an idea of how they see sessions. Some may say things that can be red flags. Also, if you feel comfortable reaching out by message or phone with a cuddler, they may help you with more specific aspects of the sessions, certainly more than what the karma may say. And, as @cuddlefaery remarked, there are those that groom, so their karma may be misleading, as will their first session with you.

Overall, however, I think this site does the best job in the industry by even having karma. Yes, there are some hazards that come with the territory, but hopefully the kind, compassionate, and respectful clients outweigh the challenging ones.

Batman3385

Rowen, I'm so sorry you have to deal with men like that. Not all men are like that but still that is so terrible. Hope things have gotten better for you. At least you're getting customers. I have to go thru pages and pages of requests and send out tons of messages and have only had 1 guy book with me but he drove over an hour and said too much for him. Anyway, keep your head up and stand firm with these jerks. Stick to the rules, they're there for a reason.

Nina_Lu

When a client tells me that other cuddlers do "extras" or are "open-minded" I put into the context that this person is trying to convince me to cross a boundary and they will probably say anything. My instinct is to ask why they called me and not this other cuddler that is a sure thing.

When it comes to other women/cuddlers, I am careful what I infer. I know it would hurt my feelings if someone assumed bad things about my character; I try my hardest not to do that to others. Maybe I'm just naive.

CuddleDuncan

@Nina_Lu sadly it is common for creeps to lie about other professional cuddlers.

The best response is to say, "Oh, was it [insert fictitious professional name]?" If their allegation is true, they might then reveal who it was. (Asking directly is less likely to obtain the answer.) You can then Report both of them.

In any event, always Report anybody who makes such a comment. Our instructions from the mods are very clear: "If in doubt, Report". Every report helps them to build a picture of the reportee and spot patterns of behaviour.

@Batman3385 professional cuddlers who are men always find it very difficult to attract clients. There is a fair bit of help and advice already on this board, make sure you've found it all. Start with a good hunt through all the sticky topics.

CuddleWho

When a client tells me that other cuddlers do "extras" or are "open-minded" I put into the context that this person is trying to convince me to cross a boundary and they will probably say anything

This is not a rare phenomenon and I find it very likely these clients' stories are true, or mostly true.

However, telling you about this for the purpose of convincing you to also offer extras is extremely scummy.

SugarDoll

Bear in mind that some people will claim 'others do more,' know there is a very good chance that person is lying in an attempt to manipulate YOU into doing more. Don't let someone push you- stay firm & report if they continue to disrespect the boundaries you have clearly communicated.
I'm clear prior to session what my (very simple) rules are, & if they give push back, I know they aren't going to be a good match & save myself the headache.

xandriarain

I highly recommend you screen your clients over Zoom. It is much more likely a person will be honest with you if it's not in writing, where it can be used against them. Many clients will tell you that other cuddlers are more open-minded or willing to wear less clothing, but many of them are lying. Taking ownership of your boundaries is essential and not just saying, "I follow cuddle comforts rules." I keep MY code of conduct in my profile and clarify that the session will end early if it is not honored.

Nina_Lu

@xandriarain Vetting over Zoom is a very good idea. Do you propose a Zoom meeting before or after a booking? I dislike accepting proposals if I'm more than likely to cancel. I'm concerned with it being viewed like I'm accepting just to exchange information. I am newish to the site and still figuring things out.

AllAboutSoul

@Nina_Lu , you can only Zoom after scheduling. No trading contact info prior to scheduling a session on-site.

Nina_Lu

@AllAboutSoul Thank you so very much, I need all the clarification I can get It's not hard to get these things wrong.

xandriarain

@Nina_Lu the moderators understand that we have to vet our clients, so I don’t think they hold cancellations against us. The way I do things is I book with a client tentatively but make sure it is a time that would actually work. Then I exchanged numbers and schedule a time for a video call (Face Time or Zoom). I have a list of questions that I ask every client. If at the end of the call, we both feel comfortable moving forward I will ask the client to send me a 50% deposit and only then will I send them my office address. If either of us decides not to move forward the booking gets canceled.