@dave31415 What @JasonCuddles was saying is your idea is to require pros to do free cuddles before they become pros. That part of your idea is telling them what to do.
@BoomerSpooner Thats called whataboutism. Let’s just stay on topic of this particular question. I am certainly not complaining about the prices pros charge. So don’t bring that up. They can charge what they want. They can also choose to use the site or not but the site has complete freedom to choose their policies to steer the site to cater to the community they want.
They can make absolutely no requirements and maximize the number of pro female cuddler or they can take steps to reduce it some in the interest of filter out sex workers, dangerous people and, if they want, people who don’t like cuddling and only do it once or twice because they need some quick cash.
@dave31415 , 1 to 1 time of any type of professional will be expensive. I think an alternative is encouraging more cuddle workshops.
@dave31415 whatabout which post are you pointing to whatsboutism? I have a few posts on here so which one is it? Whatabout that? Where did I go off topic?
@BoomerSpooner Yes. That would be the site setting a requirement which is something they already do. The idea would be to help filter out pros which will not be dedicated to it, don’t want to belong to the community and just want to make a quick buck. Again, I don’t have an opinion either way. Just want to see what people think.
If you require people to have karma before going pro it will do three things 1) Increase the number of stealth pros 2) Force scammers to make fake karma if they want to go pro 3) Put restrictions on people which people don't like
If you require people to have karma before going pro it will do three things
1) Increase the number of stealth pros 2) Force scammers to make fake karma if they want to go pro 3) Put restrictions on people which people don't like
This is definitely what would happen.
Again, I don’t have an opinion either way. Just want to see what people think.
You seem to be reacting strongly to some people’s opinions for not having an opinion either way.
@dave31415 I appreciate that you are thinking of a solution where you believe there is a problem. I do feel the idea is not a very good one.
You mentioned symmetric relationship:
It’s a symmetric relationship. Each person is providing the same things for the other.
From a perspective of a person who has only cuddled pros on here, I believe it is not a symmetric relationship. Yes, the same kind of hormones and energy might transfer between the two, but my need for that is much greater than the pro cuddler's need. Consequently, I end up utilizing more of them than they are of me. For which, I pay.
@Rezz also brought some good points about the difference in what we ask from the clients vs. the pros. We don't put as much burden on the clients to keep the pros safe as we are attempting to put on pros to prove that they are good at the services they offer.
I understand the problems that you are mentioning like fraud from fake cuddlers and scammers, or to increase the chances of clients to be able to cuddle with enthusiasts and not to make a big dent in their bank accounts to be able to cuddle. Valid problems, but this idea doesn't seem like it will solve those problems.
@BoomerSpooner A few of the responses have just been mean and accusatory and seem to be triggering anger about something else entirely. So I’ve been responding to that. And also responding to correct some misunderstandings.
There are reasons for and against it but I think I some of the responses of people against it aren’t well justified such as 1) There can never be any hoops to get a job. 2) Everyone will just make up a fake account to get fake Karma (you know they check IP addresses right) 3) Cuddling for no money is slavery etc
@dave31415
Yes, it is ridiculous. It will have the opposite effect you are shooting for.
Now you are asking potential pros to possibly put money out of pocket to travel or give freebies in their home. Now they have to rely on the cuddler to give them karma just so they can qualify. How many karma we talking? Now this enables and empowers cuddlers to push past boundaries because THEY have nothing to lose and can just give negative or no karma for a session they can ruin.
So yes…RIDICULOUS.
@MrAdmirer 💯. And as @Rezz mentioned, most pros would flee the site.
@MrAdmirer When you got your job did you get paid for the interview? Massage therapists pay money for training classes before they get to massage anyone for money. I think you are looking at it from a very negative lens and not clearly.
If a pending pro had to find a cuddler to cuddle with, there is no shortages of men with lots of karma who wouldn’t be a big risk. They don’t have to pick a random person. They could even cuddle with other female pros which would also give them and opportunity to learn more about the community and cuddling for a profession. I think it would be a good experience for them.
Again, there are pros and cons of the idea but I feel people are not making good arguments about the cons and few people are talking about the pros. Some people (not you) just seem to be triggered about other issues entirely.
@dave31415 this is your problem. You are comparing apples to oranges.
@BoomerSpooner If you are a long time pro and still have no karma, I don’t think we lose much from them fleeing the site.
I think the best argument against it is that in some areas of country/World, there are already very few pros as it is. So if the only pros we can get there don’t like cuddling and just want a quick buck, then it’s still better than none (assuming they are not too bad). So it might work just great in Boston and New York but might eliminate the only 2 cuddlers in say Casper Wyoming. So might be hard to implement evenly across all regions. I suppose that’s solvable too.
When you got your job did you get paid for the interview?
And pros don’t get paid for the back and forth messaging and vetting for probably a less than 50% success rate with those that actually cuddle.
Again @dave31415 I and others are pointing out the holes on your idea yet you persist in arguing about it when you said you didn’t care either way.
I think the dead horse has been beaten so much that PETA is suing.
@BoomerSpooner That's because I have filled in most of those holes. Which hole is left that I didn’t address?
@dave31415 Male entitlement in cuddling females, I think.
@BoomerSpooner Let me ask the question a different way. Let’s just focus on the goal not the actual tactic.
Do you think pending pros who want to make money on the CuddleComfort platform have any obligation to demonstrate any real interest in cuddling and the cuddle community? Or do you think we still wants lots of pros who feel it’s just work, the same as driving an Uber. That’s really what I was getting at with the question.
@cde123 Yes. As a male I feel entitled that when I’m handing over $100 for cuddling it’s not to someone who came up with the idea a day ago to pay for some drugs. I’d like to think that the person has real interest in being a serious cuddler. I guess that makes me a terrible person.
The amount of people with wrong intentions who lunge themselves onto new pros is astounding. I was caught off guard & can't imagine how bad it would have been if I didn't charge anything. I've been at this for 6 months and am burnt out by the amount of crap I have to wade through to have legitimate cuddle sessions. I had one very respectful cuddler from the beginning who is now in a relationship and no longer wants to cuddle- completely understandable. Others have tried to push boundaries over time, refused to book again because I didn't offer more, or couldn't pass the screening process. I have one regular cuddler right now who is kind and respectful and look forward to seeing him each time. I'm noticing more and more that people who contact me are getting banned before anything gets scheduled.... good riddens. I'd rather have one safe, lovely cuddle each month than take weekly risks.
@dave31415 As in all things in a market economy, caveat emptor.
It is the client's money, and time.
If the client wants to know "what they are purchasing" then Karma is one of many ways to vet the professional.
Chat with them, and be very clear that you are going to ask them questions about their services, their experience, what they feel they excel at, what they feel they need to work on.
And, if a professional becomes offended when you ask them, "Why are you worth my time, and the money you are charging?", then that is it's own answer regarding their level of professionalism.
But, as a client, you better know what you are paying for, or be ready for a disappointing experience.
@CharlesInWI Yeah, well that’s the laissez faire approach but the site had wisely taken a few steps to verify the cuddlers (I believe). I think any platform like this has some responsibility at least with issues of safety.
Uber took somewhat of a laissez faire attitude for people selling on its platform and that seems to have resulted in sexual assaults that could have been prevented with some closer examination of the sellers.
In this case more of the safety issues go in the other direction but not all. I suppose if you pay $100 and just get a terrible experience, it’s not the end of the World. Still I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea for someone to demonstrate the most basic level of interest in actually doing the job.
Like don’t Uber drivers have to display vehicles that meet minimum standards of cleanliness? No one is going to die if they get in a dirty car either but still, I think both Uber and Uber customers benefit from some minimal work on the part of the new driver. And it’s not true that we get zero Uber drivers by making them drive without pay to an Uber vehicle check station.
So again, I don’t really have a strong opinion either way but I think people are exaggerating the downsides (e.g. there will be zero cuddlers). I’m also a little surprised the idea is getting so much backlash from both seasoned pros and cuddlers with Karma as it would benefit them.
As per the forum rules: Price Discussion: Please avoid creating new threads to complain about the choice of rates by professional cuddlers. These threads are highly repetitive for this community and typically escalate into unpleasant discourse. You may voice your opinion on this subject in the stickied mega-thread here.
Any future flagged comments regarding pro pricing will be edited to remove those references. Please use the mega thread to express your opinion on pricing.
"Still I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad idea for someone to demonstrate the most basic level of interest in actually doing the job."
Well, they already to that.
They are here, made an account, did the basic things to verify an account and payment options.
The next level of their level of interest is how much work they have (or haven't) done on their profile, both the bio and the photos.
And then lastly, the way they communicate with their potential clients, both in how they vet, and in their willingness to address concerns and needs their client might express.
But here is where, again, your idea of a "Cuddle Council" falls apart...
Who is on the Cuddle Council?
What qualified them?
Much like a movie or food critic, why on Earth would I think that what, oh, say @pmvines or @sillysassy enjoys in a cuddling experience is remotely what I would enjoy?
Again, this all just seems like another way to demand something for nothing.
I mistakenly added a mod comment to the original topic (which has since been removed) and not a flagged comment I meant to. This removed the poll. I can recreate the poll but the previous results may be lost. 😩 I’m sorry @dave31415 that was not my intention.
You sound like someone who hates cuddling and hates male customers. “Bitching and moaning”? You really have no empathy for men needing cuddling? Many men can probably only afford maybe $100/month for cuddling. So they get 1 hour once a month. Some probably can’t even afford that.
No I loathe the entitlement some men here seem to have when it comes to others bodies, time and energy.
Want a trained professional then book one. No one is stopping you from requiring certification from your pro before booking. If she doesn't meet your criteria move on.
Instead of fighting for safety across the board for everyone, you're more concerned about these poor men losing money to scammers. Something that can be avoided entirely by not thinking with the wrong head.
While I want to empathize with you on some people not being able to afford hiring pros, it's probably the bottom of the barrel of concerns in terms of what measures need to be made to make this a safer and more welcoming environment for everyone. Your priorities on safety and trust are misplaced.
Learn to vet your pros. We have to do it with our clients all the time. If we can do it surely you can figure it out too.
Would we then have to have a requirement for karma too? If a would-be pro had your suggested required free session and the cuddlee didn't leave a karma review, would we then be required to offer endless free sessions until we were lucky enough to get a review? Everyone has to start somewhere so I don't use karma as a determining factor in accepting a booking.
I love cuddling and put a lot of thought, time and effort into it. I hear stories from clients about their negative experiences with cuddlers that are just looking for the payout, watching the clock, etc. I would expect any potential client to have a bit of a conversation with me prior to booking a session. I use that initial communication as a time to feel out for any red flags just as I would expect them to use it to determine my level of investment in them.
Also, a dentist and a massage therapist are offering a service that can physically harm someone without the proper training. Snuggling up in someone's warm embrace, to my knowledge, has never caused follow up care or malpractice issues.
There was no reason for all the negatively expressed on this thread. I don’t know how someone can be a cuddler and then come on here with such vitriol. Honestly, I never understand why people come here to fight. Of all places. Congrats for shutting down another useful discussion.
@Charlie_Bear I know you mods have a tough job but you really need to read things a little closer. There was nothing in the poll question about rates that cuddlers charge. Some people just launched into that subject because IDK, they want to fight about everything.