pro cuddling experience went wrong....

musicalman33

It's storytime ladies and gentleman lol. So yesterday i figured that i would bite the bullet and get a pro cuddler for me for some nightly much needed cuddles in my town. Found the closest one to me and messaged. She told me the prices and i said that it sounded good to me. So she told me that when she got there that i was to pay her which was alright and understandable as it is my 1st time doing this sort of thing. So she gets here and 1 she didn't look like her photo which was ok, but then when i paid her the money that i was to give her she took it and we attempted to cuddle while watching Big Daddy on TV on my couch. Not even 5 minutes into the movie she says that she is sorry but she has to go and she just up and left leaving me cuddleless. I tried to reach out to her inquiring what happened and if i could see her again but she deleted her account and now i am out $$. This experience has left me uber cautious about ever doing it again. I thought that i would just share my experience...Thanks for reading.

LECSparky

That's HORRIBLE! 😡

musicalman33

NoelleSnuggles

Dude. Something is really wrong with her! I wish I was closer so I could give you a much better experience.

musicalman33

That would be nice if only you were closer. It was pretty crazy and very short lived. Having low self esteem already this doesn't exactly help it.

SunsetSnuggles

Report her username to the mods, they will deal with it properly.

~ Sunset Snuggles

AllAboutSoul

I'm sorry. Report her, so she can't reopen the acct or another one.

musicalman33

I will definitely be doing just that.

HumbleBaron

Dang that sucks another reason why I hate deposit stealers

musicalman33

Most definitely!

Mike403

@HumbleBaron - per policy, pros have to take the payment before the session starts.

HumbleBaron

Thats optional but ok

Mike403

@HumbleBaron - It is not optional. Read the pro/client contract.

musicalman33

And she did take the money before the session and she started cuddling but definitely not for the time i paid for. It was depressing

HumbleBaron

@Mike403 the only session it ever mentions about deposits is in the cancellation policy. There is no mention whatsoever about deposit being mandatory when scheduling or payment “ The Cuddler is responsible for collecting payment from the Client which SHOULD be done before the cuddle session begins. You can ask the Client to pay in cash.” payment can also be done after so deposits are optional

HumbleBaron

w8ed_blanket

That sucks. Sorry you went through that. It is recommended full payment is collected just before (at the start of the session.) So just know it's not uncommon.

One of my clients says he has had pros he paid who left way before the time he paid for. And that makes me sad people are taking advantage of him. He's a solid cuddler.

As others have mentioned, please report this to the mods. And going forward, I'd highly recommend trying a pro who has had an account for a while and has at least some karma (reputation). Granted, karma system has pros and cons but for the sake of this conversation, a point of reference for vetting - whether it's through that or you like what they say on forums.

I hope you get some cuddles soon and with a legitimate cuddler.

musicalman33

I hope so too and thanks!

Mike403

@HumbleBaron - it clearly says there in the screenshot you posted under payment. This isn't about deposits.

TheFunCartel

Although it is rare, I have been cheated on time and had money stolen. I take solace in the fact that it is not a sustainable business model and they will get caught or quit.

Mike403

Pros have to take money up front in case a client pushes boundaries. They can leave and still get paid.

However if they leave early and took the money and you didn't do anything wrong, it's a bummer, but all you can do is report them and their "career" on this website won't last long.

Deposits are different. That's when you pay a set amount of money before they will book the session and it is applied toward the session cost when you two meet.

unsocial_bee

Do y’all usually pay I cash or online like with PayPal?

panda619

Gotta do your homework. Don’t be fooled by pics. I look at karma and then direct message reviewers, make reccomendations and share findings. For everyone’s sake.

cuddlefaery

I'm sorry you had such a negative first experience. 😔

For future reference, a cuddle partner (whether pro or enthusiast) showing up and not matching their pic they shared with you is just cause to immediately call off the session without repercussion. It is a huge red flag, as fake and old pictures are frequently used by scammers and those who mean to do harm. Pros regularly ask for recent pics for this very reason - it's a safety risk, not just monetary, and if we can ask for a recent pic for our protection so can our clients.

As a pro, I also occasionally book professional cuddlers myself and any pro not willing to share a recent pic with me would not be a great fit. Similarly, if we meet and they do not match their pic absolutely no money is exchanging hands.

PrettyLuv

What you could also do as a safekeeping measure, is ask to meet in a public place first for your safety and hers to make sure she is who she says she is and then proceed to go to your place to cuddle after. This way the exchange of any funds is delayed until your confident the person is genuine and not coming out of the woodwork to defraud.

I think if she didn’t look anything like her picture you should have cancelled the session right there on account of her being deceptive on that front. Of course not everyone is going to look exactly like their pictures so that could be a little bit of a grey area but at the end of the day, if their pictures are not up to date with how they look in the present, and you feel like you’re meeting an entirely different person, you have every right to cancel the session and not proceed based on that. It is all you have to really go on in identifying the person, (if not using alternative means prior like zoom and video chats) and if your personal assessment and gut tells you something is off, chances are there is and there’s no reason to proceed any further. Especially if you feel like you’re being lied to from the start.

You should feel safe and comfortable, even if you’re a guy, and foster that environment with whoever you’re letting into your space. Same applies for women irrespective of pro or enthusiast status.

bekah_cuddles

That's awful and I'm so sorry that happened to you! The only time I would ever leave a session before the scheduled end time is if the cuddler violated the site rules and made moves on me. I know it's a bit too late to give advice, but I would highly recommend in the future spending a bit more time to vet a pro who has no karma.

as is usually the case, as much as we want to give you the benefit of the doubt, there are some red flags here and perhaps more to the story. For starters, you said you messaged her and she 'told you the prices'. Well, all pro accounts are required to have this information displayed on their profile. So this seems to imply the person was not someone who applied to be a pro but is an enthusiast. Enthusiasts who ask for money to skirt around becoming a pro is a bannable offense. This is moot because she deleted the account.

Also, that is an extremely risky scam....to actually come to your home, take your money, and then just try to up and leave to rip you off? All for maybe 1-200 bucks? (I wonder if she had a driver to back her up waiting outside?). This is not how scams usually work. Is it possible you might have started pushing a cuddle boundary? I mean, if this happened to me and I know I didn't do anything wrong, I would have certainly asked for at least most of my money back, if not all. Especially since you said you tried to reach her to see her again? Really? Why would you want to do that to someone who just ripped you off?

I suppose it is possible this was her first cuddle and she just decided she couldn't do it and it was harless like that, but I would think if that was the case she would have given you your money back.

These are the things that make you go. hmmmmm.

Bet yeah, bottom line is that you just need to vet the pros better. Lesson learned.

1_teddybear

@cuddlefaery Most of the pros I have tried have had out of date pictures. I have requested a recent picture and my request was denied on the grounds that she didn't want multiple pictures of her "out there". I haven't had much trouble with outright fraud, but the picture thing is common in my experience.

sunnysideup

@musicalman33

I've also heard professionals telling me that other clients told them that this happens to them as well. If you want a professional that is reliable, then they should have a lot of karma and a well-written profile. Otherwise, you're just gambling if they have like 4 or less reviews.

It's unfortunate she deleted her profile, but you should report her anyway. That way, if she makes another account the mods can still ban her.

There are some awful people out there, and you got unlucky. @PrettyLuv mentions a good point for vetting out cuddlers though. Might want to try what she said in case you are meeting another cuddle with very little karma.

taco_libre

not surprising

JustPlaneCuddle

@musicalman33, I’m so sorry you went through this! I can imagine that this type of experience might sour someone on the idea of continuing to explore their needs in touch therapy. I do have a few suggestions that might help prevent you from running into fraudulent practitioners.

• Ask questions. It’s okay to ask all the questions you have upfront, including ones that give you a little more insight into who the Cuddler is and their motivation for being on the website. In my experience, most true professionals are going to be upfront and honest with you about who they are and why they do what they do. That applies in almost any field of expertise. There is nothing shady or shameful about this line of work, so there should not be much difference in explaining motive or history in an oil field worker, an investment banker, or a cuddler. It’s always a safe practice to know a little bit more about the person you are physically putting yourself near whether you are the cuddler or the client.
• Always let someone know where you are or when you are going to have a cuddler over. It protects both parties.
• Aim for cuddlers that require a meeting before a cuddle whether via virtual chat session or in-person at a public location.
• It’s okay to run a background check. If the cuddler is an established business, it’s okay to research them and make sure they do not make a habit of scamming people for a living.
• Aim for paying through online platforms that allow you to report as fraud. This helps you not only recover funds lost (in some cases) but it also allows the federal government to take action on accounts that have been stolen, hacked, or have been reported for theft repeatedly.

As far as outdated pictures, please remember that these people are all just that - people. They have lives and obligations just like everyone else. If a picture they have posted does not reflect their current haircut or they have gained a few pounds, this is normal. Not even photographers update their headshots on LinkedIn that frequently. However, if they will not share a recent photo or explain why they have not posted a new photo in a few years, that’s a big red flag.

Report, report, report!
Be careful out there! I hope this bad experience has not spoiled you on the idea of hiring a cuddler!