Other flavors of touch

Mailleweaver

Those of us who are touch starved really just crave a bunch of good, hearty meals of meat and potatoes, but that can be really hard to find so it would be good to have other options. Besides, variety will provide better nutrition. Aside from cuddling and romance, what other forms of touch can you all think of to recommend whether it be a different kind of filling meal, a veggie that's not very exciting, or a junk food snack that's not very filling but will at least help you feel less hungry for a time?

How do you all try to share touch in your daily lives?
What do you go out of your way to do to get some kind of contact?
What do you do to help yourself cope when you can't share touch with someone else?

I've recently started taking ballroom dance lessons for a bit of touch and social practice. Getting a haircut can sometimes give me a little bit of a healthy snack as having someone groom me is comforting. Wearing a ring on rare occasions when I'm feeling especially down can be almost like holding my own hand. In winter, wearing a scarf is a comforting touch that I don't seem to get used to enough to ignore it. I've also tried to be more touchy with family: asking for more hugs and playing with the kids in my extended family. Even just spending more time with family socially has provided more opportunities for touch. Asking for gifts that are nice to touch can provide a bit of a secondary form of touch from people you care about: for birthday and holiday gifts, ask for fuzzy blankets, stuffed animals, silky clothes, knitted scarves, etc that you can appreciate physically while remembering who gave them to you.

teddybear888

A very intriguing psychological exploration you’ve presented. An example being why EMS personnel will give people blankets even if they aren’t cold or wet. It’s grounding from trauma. The little “touches” you describe could also be grounding, reinforcing, enriching & nourishing just as you said. Very intriguing.

CuddleHugs01234

Massage therapy, and chiropractic care are two things I do to take care of myself. A friend of mine has a newborn, and a toddler so I get to hold them. Guinea pig cuddles. Hugs when I see people I know. Scheduling enough cuddling. A hot or warm bath with epsom salt. Rubbing dogs.

Gotyr6

Contact improv, when i can find it. foot reflexology, chair massage, offering hugs when i see a homeless traveler hanging out at our local library n park. At work chat about the importance of touch for health and making sure i catch opportunitiea to give/ receive hugs , handshakes, or high fives!
ooooh! and i start tango lessons soon!

(Contact improvisation is a form of dance- with a partner or group- has been around since 1972 and is international too. To me, its experiencing how your own body moves spontaneously in relationship to others with some basic techniques of sharing weight, touch, and movement awareness) i also like the nonverbal communication thru touch.

Mailleweaver

Ahh, yes. Pets are a good one that I tend to forget, with mine being outdoor pets. This past winter I brought my two cats inside since it was unusually cold and I needed some company after my dad died. Once they got used to being in the house they became a lot more affectionate than they ever had been outside. That was really good for me. Now they're back outside and back to being skittish.

CuddleHugs01234

@Mailleweaver My condolences about your dad.

pmvines

I genuinely enjoy my alone time and feel content without touch. It is good to have a balance where you don't feel desperate for one thing or the other , and I feel that also makes the time I do spend cuddling etc that much more meaningful.

cuddlefaery

@Gotyr6 yay, another CI person! I love going to jams when I can find them locally, or at the least teaching beginners lessons for adjacent groups when I can't. I like to describe contact improv as martial arts meets dance meets meditation meets massage. It truly is unique and opened up a whole new world in dance for me. Coming from a ballet heavy background, I'd struggled to "get" feeling grounded and in my body and out of my head while dancing until I was introduced to CI in college.

Ecstatic dance is also similar and touch adjacent - very free form, any style goes, no judgement, nonverbal consent is practiced, and often you'll see CI people practicing in pairs. It delves heavier into solo practice, but if the group and vibe is right people will be more open to partner and group play!

frankparker9

Getting a massage, kitties, hands-on physical therapy, a warm pool or hot tub or shower, self touch, socks, fidget toys.

Nature_Lover_

@Mailleweaver Great post!
@teddybear888 The blanket as a means of grounding for trauma is so interesting! I get it.

I've been lucky to find connection and touch in the gym - martial arts and also yoga have provided a catalyst for connecting with amazing people I might not have otherwise met! Both environments were safe spaces which promotes respect and acceptance! While martial arts was heavier on touch and interaction within training, yoga ( at my local studio ) incorporated self touch such as hands over heart, ect and also often included a brief meditation/ wind down period. These communities have been huge sources of connection and inclusion when I've needed it.

BuffaloBuddy

Touch is underrated. All humans and many animals need and seek touch, especially in their early years. Many do not realize their deprivation until they begin to connect with others thru touch once again. A handshake, a hug, a touch on the arm can convey so much at times. Having someone break into tears during a massage is so wonderful, yet sad at the same time. Try to keep all your senses in your life activated.....sight, smell, touch, taste, sound.....as well as balance and movement.

While doing a friend's braids, I experienced something like this. She leaned back on my bosom, and breathed deeply. It turns out that doing this reminded her of the times she'd spent with her mom, whom she missed. I was deeply, deeply honored to serve in this capacity for her. I told her that she could just stay there for as long as she needed. Platonic touch is an amazing, healing, life-giving thing that I'm soooo grateful for having found..

PrettyLuv

My friend told me a story how when he was in jail, got into an altercation where the nurse had to bandage his hand, and the female nurse who was bandaging his hand, he remembers how good it felt after so many years there to be touched in a caring way.