I was just wondering if anybody else besides myself has subjects during a cuddle session that they don't talk about. I have quite a few things that are no conversation topics. What are yours?
Well obviously anything that breaks the CC rules But I honestly prefer not to talk about my problems. I rather enjoy the peace of relaxing music or outside ambiance. Or positive topics
My only limits are non-platonic discussions. Things like politics or religion can be contentious. If my cuddle partner has opinions I let them say what they want. If they are in opposition to my own beliefs or opinions I don't respond. I want the session to be enjoyable for both of us. If the opinions being presented are totally disagreeable by me I'd like to think I'd end the session. It hasn't happened yet. I generally pick cuddlers who I feel like will have similar opinions as me. I can't always predict correctly. But I'm very easy going and I let a lot things just roll off me.
@ElleCuddleMi I’m curious; what is your list and do you share it with would-be cuddlers ahead of time?
I don’t feel like I have things I won’t talk about besides inappropriate things. However, I’d respect any boundary.
Personally, I do find myself more open to getting into deeper conversations than I would if I wasn’t cuddling. It takes down my defenses in some ways.
Careful, last time I asked what others avoid during cuddles, I was accused of seeking masturb@tion fodder. 😂
I've never had a need to come up with a list, thankfully. If for some strange reason, politics or abortion came up during cuddles, and I really can't imagine that happening, I would simply "mmhm" and then change the subject, without engaging or sharing my stance.
~ Sunset Snuggles
I can carry a conversation without preplanning talking points, so I am rarely concerned about holding my own. With that said, it really depends on the person I am with. Some people are likeminded and it opens up the conversation playbook to everything. Some people you are cautious with for various reasons and then there are those who hold court on everything. The latter I shut down topics a lot on because while I love a good debate as much as the next person…not while I am cuddling.
I am an absolute open book of topics that may arise when we are getting to know each other on the phone; we can talk about ANYTHING. And many times those initial telephone calls last 30 min to a few hours (sometimes the conversation just flows)!…. But actually DURING the cuddle I’d say politics, religion, your problems, exes and drama don’t exactly make for best cuddle fodder.
@Syins I don't discuss ( client can talk I just won't opinionate) Politics Religion Sex But love the others chiming in on their thoughts 😉
Generally my cuddle partner has a much greater need to chat during cuddling than I do. So if she does, I just follow her lead until she becomes comfortable enough to just cuddle, listen to music, and watch the fire in the fireplace.
That reminds me I have was given a cheesy fireplace DVD including crackling sounds and different settings!
I try not to discuss religion or politics with a cuddler. I won't say it NEVER happens, but I certainly try to avoid it. Too many places where the conversation can go off the rails!!
As others have said, discussing sex is generally a no-no, and can take the conversation too far out of the platonic realm. However, I do sometimes enjoy discussing dating scenarios with cuddlers. I rarely have the opportunity to gain a female perspective on certain things, so I sometimes ask them about a specific scenario (that has happened or could happen) to get their thoughts. And, sometimes female cuddlers want to pick my male brain about certain dating / relationship things, too.
As long as things are kept at an appropriate level, I think it's OK to discuss these sorts of topics. Granted, sometimes these conversations are easier after multiple visits with the same cuddler, when there's an increased comfort level (and she knows I'm not broaching these topics for inappropriate reasons).
I can't really say I have any topics that I restrict. If it's one that causes a lot of stress or I can tell we don't necessarily agree on, I'll generally steer it away or discuss if this conversation is healing to them. Sometimes we just get all caught up in things and people like being reminded that they are cuddling to get some space from it all!
Just don't try to convert me to your religion.
I can echo what others have said, politics, religion, I’m a pretty open book other wise and can talk about any topics really that follow the rules and it’s always nice meeting new people and having new great conversations.
There’s plenty of time to talk talk talk talk talk all day long. We’re doing it here. We talk to so many people, morning noon and night. Sometimes about important or necessary things. Sometimes just miscellaneous BS. Then we go home and watch OTHER people talk on TV for hours on end.
People are soooo afraid or uncomfortable to just sit in a silent space with themselves, or God forbid somebody else.
Here’s a novel idea: Can’t we, juuuuuust every once in a while, simply shut the F up and try simply enjoying some silence TOGETHER?!
Cuddling offers us a wonderful way to connect and communicate with one another. Let our bodies have their OWN conversations without our mouths getting in the way mucking it all up and detracting from that amazing experience.
I mean, isn’t that why we are all here to begin with????
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@WestsideMarc Well said.
@WestsideMarc Some people do like to talk and cuddle though and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a social activity. Bound to happen. Some people prefer it . As a pro , which @ElleCuddleMi is, it's good to be able to hold a conversation if that's what her client needs. I'm sure she's just as good at cuddling in silence as well. Different strokes .
@WestsideMarc Yes, we’re here to cuddle, but it’s not necessarily a mute activity. You prefer silence, and that’s your prerogative to tell your cuddling partner to shut the F up (your words), but I have plenty of intelligent and interesting cuddlers who LOVE to have meaningful conversations while cuddling with me (or even just less intense chitchat.) They have too much silence in their lives because they WFH, are retired or are anxious introverts. Many don’t even watch TV (or stream shows), they mostly read or enjoy solitary activities, like walking or writing. Although, honestly, it may be fun to just get paid for sleeping on the job. (I will fall asleep, guaranteed and unapologetically. And I will get payment in full when my alarm goes off.)
I don’t talk about any topics related to water
@WestsideMarc well ironically that took a lot of words for you to say.
Goodness... I'll talk about anything, but if it gets too technical I'm generally out since I'm into a more relaxed (doesn't require too much brain power) sort of cuddle vibe. But if the subject became too much for me to follow/process, I'd just pivot, change the subject, or would try to dial things back a notch with humor. Or perhaps just trail off into silence...
@quixotic_life - You mean you wouldn't be up to talking about calculus and physics while cuddling?
@WestsideMarc posted:
"People are soooo afraid or uncomfortable to just sit in a silent space with themselves, or God forbid somebody else."
Agreed. Silence is golden...with the right person. I've cuddled those whose silence is awkward, and those whose silence is a warm blanket of pure heavenly bliss.
"I mean, isn’t that why we are all here to begin with????"
We're all here to cuddle. But how the cuddling goes down is different for everyone. Some like to spoon and watch TV. Some want to try a series of new cuddle positions every eight minutes. Some need a listening ear for trauma. Some want to laugh and giggle the whole way through. And yes, some want to bask in silence. Everyone's preferences and needs are different, and it doesn't prove they're afraid of silence, though I certainly agree that is an epidemic, these days.
Personally, I am happy with however it naturally flows...deep conversation, giggles, or just breathing each other in, silently. Each is lovely.
@AllAboutSoul I never ever said I tell my cuddle partners to shut the F up. I would never do that and that is an inaccurate assessment. I’m not attacking you. It’s just a strong clarification.
I am patently aware that some people like to talk and I’m not shaming those. I too like a little conversation. Iof course. I am just saying that a lot of people are uncomfortable just being silent. I actually elaborate on this very topic in my profile, not that I am inviting the world to look at it.
And I agree conversation should just ebb and flow naturally and to each their own. Hopefully that settles it.