There's a mix of truth and baseless speculation in these forums.
I say that because our team has banned several Pros based on those forums being the initial lead. But I also believe that some profiles are mentioned simply because a photo shows just enough cleavage to allegedly be a secret signal of openness.
P.S. I've renamed the subject so this can be the mega-thread of what are likely going to be future threads on this.
@Miles93 Why did you paste @Mike403 comment and then just ignore it? You had a great session with a nice person. You don’t know the truth and even if it were true, how does that change the nice interaction you had?
I know the truth because when you have four or five people on that board claiming what they got, it is bound to be true than not. I'm not gullible, but the odds are there. They also said she gave them a massage, which is true what she did to me. It doesn't change the nice interaction we had, but leaves me afterwards with a tainted, unprofessional image of her after I think about the service I paid for. I could not sleep, and there's a reason why: I don't want to be in a professional cuddling session knowing they're doing sexual activity in their other sessions with multiple men. Decency of the session and pro matters to me. That's all I ask for. I don't know what you mean about your paste comment regarding Mike. I was quoting and replying to Duncan in my previous post after he replied to me.
@Miles93 even if the pro did cross the line and end up breaking CC TOS as those comments say, you don't know what else happened in those sessions - that site is FILLED with men trying to intentionally cross women's boundaries, entrap or trick women into sex, or even downright assault them. If those men are not outright lying about the pro in question having sex with them, which is suspect in and of itself, then it's incredibly likely they cohersed or forced sexual activity from her.
So perhaps instead of jumping to blame the person you have a supposedly great experience with on the word of probable liars, likely r*pists and abusers who treat sexual assault as a game to win, you ought to be more concerned about whether or not the person who treated you kindly is doing ok. Not only is it likely she was coerced or pressured into sex, but now because of being published on that forum she's likely facing extra harassment and further assault. Not to mention judgement from onlookers and hypocrites.
@Miles93
I know the truth because when you have four or five people on that board claiming what they got, it is bound to be true than not.
No it isn't. That simply doesn't follow. You have no idea what the truth is, and neither do any of the rest of us.
Please consider the wise words from @cuddlefaery.
No it isn't. That simply doesn't follow. You have no idea what the truth is, and neither do any of the rest of us. Please consider the wise words from @cuddlefaery.
No one has concrete evidence, its only hearsay. I'll say it again, the odds of multiple people lying over a five-month period (based on the dates of the posts) are somewhat low. If it was only a single person saying so, then of course I'll have doubts about it. So let me rephrase myself, no, I don't know the absolute truth, you're right about that, but I'm merely just going by the odds.
that site is FILLED with men trying to intentionally cross women's boundaries, entrap or trick women into sex, or even downright assault them.
We must be viewing different sites. From what I've been reading, many users on that board are discussing and paying money for sex, and it sounds consensual. For the pro I booked months ago in question, from my reading and understanding, she doesn't do any sex, but gives basic happy endings. She wasn't forced or pressured, because in the posts, the males say they ask for extras, and then she quotes them a price, and it's up to the client whether they pay for her extra or not. Some say her quote is not worth it, and one said he would not repeat. Its consensual, and her well-being shouldn't be of concern. I met her, and she looks and behaves fine. This is my last post on this thread, because I would like to move-on now and stop having to talk or think about it.
the odds of multiple people lying over a five-month period (based on the dates of the posts) are somewhat low.
On this question, no they aren't. On the contrary, they are quite high. Men lying about what professional cuddlers do in session is a serious and widespread problem. If somebody claims in public that person X does thing Y, the smart bet is that they are lying. If anything, multiple people piling in significantly increases the chances of it being a lie: there is security in numbers.
Your underlying assumption is that most people tell the truth most of the time. That may (or may not) be true but it certainly doesn't apply in this case.
We must be viewing different sites. From what I've been reading, many users on that board are discussing and paying money for sex, and it sounds consensual.
I urge you then to do some reeducation on what consent actually is, because it is highly likely you are also part of the problem. There are literally hundreds of comments on that site of men bragging about their conquests and about how convince women to give them sex when they normally would have said no - consent under coersion is legally not consent in most countries, so they are literally bragging about committing sexual assault. Not only that, they are teaching other men their "tricks" for how to coerce women into having sex with them, so they are perpetuating the abuse cycle by targeting other vulnerable, lonely men and convincing them that sexual assault is ok if you're playing "the game".
As a sexual assault survivor myself and someone who has worked with other survivors regularly, I can assure you we generally don't walk around acting like wounded deer. You cannot spot us from 50 yards or guess what we have been through by our interactions with you. Just because your pro "seemed fine" or normal does not mean she has not been assaulted. "Fun fact" for you - 1 in 6 women in the US has been the victim of rape, so chances are you already know a good handful of survivors and never would have guessed it. And 1 in 33 men have been victims of rape, which is talked about even less, and they walk around like nothing is wrong, masking for the world because that is what is expected. And that is just the US and only what is reported - other countries may have higher statistics, particularly if they do not actively track sexual assault.
So to automatically be against a woman who seems "fine" in an occupation with an extremely high risk factor for assault, combined with her being named on a site known to be a predatory playground is naive at best... and smells more like victim blaming and burying one's head in the sand to avoid unpacking one's part in the problem or even a guilty conscience. You chose to believe the word of a bunch of horny braggarts on a pickup artists forum rather than trust your interactions with the living breathing person you actually met - that says WAY more about you than about her.
I just want to make sure everyone here has read the forum thread in question. In other words, we aren’t just talking out of our asses about something we haven’t read are we? I think if you do you might change your mind.
"On this question, no they aren't. On the contrary, they are quite high. Men lying about what professional cuddlers do in session is a serious and widespread problem. If somebody claims in public that person X does thing Y, the smart bet is that they are lying. If anything, multiple people piling in significantly increases the chances of it being a lie: there is security in numbers."
I simply do not agree with this statement at all. Multiple attestation is a very legitimate way to make good deductions about the truth when you have completely separate accounts saying virtually the same things.
Agree based on having read these forums in question. These are not duplicate accounts or trolls. These are people within an unsavory community trying to help each other. For example, if you have multiple such people sharing the username of a Pro and how they have a defined price list for extras, that is likely to carry significant weight with any investigation on our side.
There are active site members on here who "share Intel" about who will let you get away with what and this that abd the other. I was actually approached by a long.tjne member when I first joined who, after chastising me for voicing too much support to the women and pro cuddlers because it supposedly made things more difficult for the men on here , invited me to join an offsite chat group of his for men to discuss pros and cuddling and how to keep prices down, how to gain advantages, etc . I didn't join , and even though he framed it as a harmless chat group to discuss issues related to cuddling on the site from a male perspective, I heard from a friend who knew a couple folks who were formerly part of the group and they said there was a good bit of talk related to who lets you push boundaries, gives sexual services, is most permissive, etc. Pretty slimy stuff . And alas , he is still here and active on the site ...
This makes my blood boil. I've read some comments on the forum mentioned and there is support for blatant sexual harassment. To paraphrase a comment "She was giving me a back massage and I got the impression she didn't give extra because she was saying how guys always ask for extra dn she always turns them down" Two sentences later "We were cuddling and she didn't reciprocate my hints for more"
I'm furious I can't do anything about it!
I've seen the forums and they share links, and message who's done what and what they've gotten away with. I was hesitant to even join, I definitely have done my due diligence and searched what was available about the cuddle community online, and in some non accessible online forums/chats, there's honestly not much. I was hoping that unlike some other cuddle platforms, the karma would be able to weed out some of the profiles that were looking for non platonic services. It seems that's sadly not the case.
@snugglesaraa It's a tough thing to keep up with. I think the Mods do the best they can, and the majority of the community helps as well. Unfortunately there is no way to stop it 100%.
I try and do my best to weed out who may be offering more.
I just stumbled onto this thread and I am deeply disturbed by it. 😔 The idea that there are adult sites whooping it up talking about how to take advantage of ladies in our community is sick. How in God's name do you protect yourself when guys on these adult sites are saying things about CC like this:
"You know these girls expect to be propositioned if they go through with a session. We just need some reports on what activities are possible with these girls." "You need to organically work with the women on here. Most of them will go further but you have to have some charisma and they have to be into you physically." "So who would pay a deposit just to meet a girl to cuddle with her? And then hope there is some remote chance that she might let you have sex with her. Not a chance." "It's hard to be not sensual when you cuddle with a female for an hour. It's like fire and cotton man. Sometimes all it takes is just a look, to burn the barn. We are only human right. It takes lot of energy to master the senses. I cannot simply just cuddle without getting muddled. It's like a tease. LOL."
"You know these girls expect to be propositioned if they go through with a session. We just need some reports on what activities are possible with these girls."
"You need to organically work with the women on here. Most of them will go further but you have to have some charisma and they have to be into you physically."
"So who would pay a deposit just to meet a girl to cuddle with her? And then hope there is some remote chance that she might let you have sex with her. Not a chance."
"It's hard to be not sensual when you cuddle with a female for an hour. It's like fire and cotton man. Sometimes all it takes is just a look, to burn the barn. We are only human right. It takes lot of energy to master the senses. I cannot simply just cuddle without getting muddled. It's like a tease. LOL."
If any pro cuddlers are concerned about whether your username has been mentioned on the site the OP was referring to* and don't know how to check, I can show you how. Send a message to my inbox and I'll send you the steps. It's very quick and easy to do. The only reason I'm not posting how publicly is because I notice nobody has posted the name of the adult site and for very good reason (to avoid a bunch of bad actors getting hold of the information). Please note that I will ONLY respond to female pro cuddlers who ask for this information since they're the group being targeted and I don't want to risk getting messages from guys posing as female enthusiasts.
NOTE: There may be other sites out there where this is happening, but I'm not currently familiar with them. So I can only speak to the site the OP was referencing.
@KingsportCuddle -
I notice nobody has posted the name of the adult site and for very good reason
It's easily found with a simple Google search anyway.
What a way to unhappily start the day, I am glad to learn of this distressing news so that we as a community can be better prepared and informed of our surroundings and personal safety….. it’s very frustrating and discouraging to see so many people eagerly taking advantage of a platonic emotional support site for sexual gain 😒😒 I must admit I have been seeing an increase in professional cuddlers taking a break away from C.C. and cuddling in general because of how unsafe/unreliable this work is becoming and after today I am contemplating if I need to be taking a step back with them as well and doing same thing until things have gotten more regulated/monitored and safer to cuddle.
There’s so many other applications to use for sexual/romantic interests for free now days I just can’t fathom the interest these clients have to break the rules and brag about it when there are platforms literally built to cater to their intended interests, why ruin a cuddle site for such minimal reasons 🤷🏽♀️ ???
@pinkbabybunny Thank you for sharing what you’ve seen and experienced, I will be sure to help inform a few other pros so they can be aware of what to look out for as well. Stay strong and do what you decide is best for you ✊🏾
~ Safe Cuddling Everyone Please 🙏 🤗 ~
WOW my phone stumbled on this thread and just WOW.
Stay safe out here everyone. Whilst I'm not a pro, this reminder of the demented side of some people makes me want to crawl back into my everyday life! The irony!
@SouthernDoll
Late response but I know exactly why they do it instead of using actual dating or sex sites.
The longer I live, the more I see it’s very common for men to enjoy hurting us. We just pretend not to see it and give them the benefit of the doubt, because the world is too bleak if we recognize it.
@bobadevotee - Only reason #3 makes sense. I failed on dating sites. That doesn't mean I will use this site beyond its intended purpose.
@bobadevotee you are exactly right about all three points sadly. And 1 or 3 men here, of course, may not be like that at all, but those men can only speak for themselves. It doesn’t change or have any effect on the way other men behave. Women know much more about a man’s or men’s behavior and how they treat women than other men do and that is a fact. I shouldn’t have to say that it’s common sense.
As I tend to be the positive type, I can see the usefulness of the information provided here. First, for the client, it's helpful to see who to avoid. And for the comments that are not sexually-oriented, well....and this may be hard to hear for some pros....but it's somewhat refreshing to read some anonymous comments that you never get in the karma, for obvious reasons......such as "she talks all the time", or "doesn't look like her pics". Though I love the karma system for the positive, and the blatantly negative, like for a no-show, in general, clients do not get to hear the truly candid.
For the pros, the takeaway can be at least a little helpful. The comments made by a few included what they look for on CC for potential sexual encounters. Many reference the photos of cleavage and suggestive poses. This is not to say that women on CC shouldn't be able to post whatever pics they choose in freedom; just know that you will attract some of these kind of potential clients. They also referenced messages directed to them with "babe", and "hun", etc., as indications of more being available. Finally, something I had not even thought of previously, but these clients ask if they should bring extra cash for tipping? Or something like that....so those are all clues from their world that might be helpful to know about.
Another positive I took from reading the communications was that many of them sounded protective of the women they saw more intimately, and were remorseful about sharing their connections.....as some of the guys on the site took that info and had assumptions, and were even demanding. There was at least a modicum of respect, saying that there should never be demands, but that connection was important, and if the cuddler was interested in more intimacy, it would be communicated. Now of course I recognize that this is still outlawed on CC....I'm merely pointing out that the clients posting sounded respectful, and were strongly suggesting to others on the site to stop being demanding and presumptive. Sure, some of the guys sounded awful, and were probably disrespectful, maybe even demeaning.....but I didn't get that those participants were dangerous. There were inappropriately trying to hunt cuddle pros for more sexual sessions.
The takeaway here is: 1) Yes, men can be predatory, and CC will have those guys too.....but it only emphasizes the importance of vetting potential clients, listen to their language in texting, messaging, and talking, betraying their motives often. Look over your photos and profile description to make sure there is nothing that would attract them. Don't schedule with karma-less men, and contact the pros who gave karma just to check in about their behavior. Look at what they wrote about the pro in karma left to get an idea of how they articulate and appreciate the pro cuddlers. And consider a short video or phone call for first time clients to get an energetic sense of who they are, and why they are choosing you.
2) You may have many clients who also schedule with sex workers of various types.....that doesn't mean that they don't want and appreciate non-erotic cuddling sessions. What matters is that they respect what YOU offer, and don't push boundaries or violate CC's rules. It's not helpful to categorize all, or most men, as having a one-track mind (as was stated by men themselves in the comments on that site); rather, accept that many not only hunger for physical touch, but also for sexual connection....and that the line between the two is gray, not black and white. There are many cuddling sessions that are intimate physically and emotionally, where sensuality is celebrated, without eroticism. Lighting, music, smells, touch all stimulate the senses beautifully, and learning how to manage your boundaries with the clients' desires/needs can be an art form.....
3) Cuddling is intimate, for all parties, and clarity in communication is essential. Let's not assume because "rules" are stated clearly that everyone is on the same page. Boundaries for pros shift markedly depending upon the connection, the mood, and how that pro orchestrates her sessions. Some have boundaries around topics of conversation, and don't like to get too intimate, while others take their work as therapists into the mental health realm during sessions. Some enjoy a little massage with sessions, others definitely do not. Some enjoy skin-to-skin, with legs, arms, feet, while others prefer to cuddle fully clothed. Some like their faces touched, with scalp massage.....for others, that's completely inappropriate. Some provide extra time for tea, a walk, etc., while others charge if they opt for those activities. And in some situations, especially with a wonderful connection and history, arousal may occur, and a client or a pro may need reminding of the intent of the session, possibly slow down, take a breather, and come back to a balanced place, all without shaming/blaming in most cases.
And, though this might be controversial, many pros conflate sensuality with sexuality, not recognizing that though one can be considered a subset of the other, they are definitely not the same. So some pros are excellent providing sensual sessions, with light touch that brings goosebumps all over, while others just don't enjoy or want such touch in their sessions.
Full disclosure; I have cuddled with a few of the pros mentioned in that thread, and I wasn't approached with a menu of "more" available. I think we should restrain our judgment, and not assume that named pros are just using CC as a platform for sex work. I think that some have more than likely broken CC's rules selectively, with some clients that have offered more $$$....and that they felt comfortable providing more. I'm not saying that this is right.....I'm saying that they also have the approved kind of cuddles, possibly even primarily, and that boundaries may be respected most of the time.
It's complicated....but it's not black and white, and our discussions should reflect the complexity. I know this rubs some of you the wrong way, but that doesn't make this viewpoint wrong or inappropriate. The cuddling community works and plays under a very big tent, and I only see it growing in the future
@beaubliss you make some good points. I tend to be less of an idealist and more of a realist myself even though it tends to rub some the wrong way. Oddly enough, I used to cuddle with the OP that started this thread to begin with.
The reality is there is going to be a mix of activity on here, like it or not.
I suspect the guys looking for more on that site would just assume not have to guess who does this or that. They may honestly take that info and go after providers that do more and leave legit platonic providers alone, reducing the incidence of assault at least somewhat.
I'm not saying it's an endorsement or anything along those lines but that could be a practical consequence.
@jplemmon I completely agree with you, there is a mix of activity.... But I really didn't get the sense from reading the entire thread about CC on the sex site that those guys posting were ones who would assault a woman. They're obviously on the hunt and shouldn't be on CC, but they didn't seem like they were dangerous. Most spoke of allowing the pro cuddler to invite them, through words and actions, to get more intimate.
Thank you for shedding light on this issue! It's crucial to acknowledge that while some professionals offer strictly platonic services, the landscape is varied and not all interactions follow the same guidelines. Misunderstandings and misrepresentations can occur, unfortunately leading to both unjust accusations and inappropriate demands. It’s important for all involved—clients and professionals alike—to communicate clearly and respect the boundaries that are set. Reporting any discrepancies or misconduct helps maintain the integrity of the platform. As always, if there's any uncertainty or suspicion, reporting the incident is the best course of action. This helps the moderators act on concrete evidence and maintain a safe, respectful community for everyone.
I hesitate to comment at the risk of being misunderstood but imagine the feeling of being used without your consent, for someone else’s gratification. Afterwards there’s a resentment that eats away and results in damaging emotions. This is something that can happen to anyone obviously - not just women. I’m trying to say it in a way to share that feeling. And I’m referring to even a platonic interaction, but the intentions of one are used for manipulation or grooming. It’s such an awful and depressing feeling.