Unsolicited advice... [is] a sign of entitlement. Unsolicited advice can be taken to mean that there is something wrong with you.
Unsolicited advice... [is] a sign of entitlement.
Unsolicited advice can be taken to mean that there is something wrong with you.
Only if you insist on interpreting it that way. Everything is not always a manifestation of some oppressive -ism, or some -ist superiority complex. (Just as holding doors open for someone isn't.)
Unsolicited advice can also be helpful, useful, and a convenience. Or not relevant and ignored. It's a benign linguistic tool.
@TxTom entitlement doesn't have to necessarily be tied to an -ism or an -ist, as you like to call them. Rather, they're tied to believing that you know better than the other person, even than they know about themselves and even to the point of negating their express wishes and ignoring their boundaries and violating consent. Case in point, I said nothing about any -ism or -ist, but because in your narrative all I ever talk about has to do with some agenda, you seem to feel the need to point out to me how biased I am supposedly being in a good number of the threads I comment on even when my comments have nothing to do with your claims. Because of your assumptions about me, you read into everything I say and add words and meaning that are not there and feel the need to point out? lecture? advise? me on the same points over and over again, and it's gotten really old.
So here's some unsolicited advice, Tom: scroll by my comments, and if you feel entitled to reply to them - don't. Seriously, do not reply to my comments any more, because I'm tired of constantly getting targeted by your circular rhetoric. I shall endeavor to do the same, because I'm tired of trying to have meaningful dialogue with someone who resorts to the same party fouls every time.
But thank you for proving my first point.
This is just a what if scenario but what if the pro cuddler was out having drinks with friends and runs into a complete stranger. They get to chatting and the stranger says something about being divorced, or being lonely, or could use a hug, etc. So at this point the pro cuddler would suggest going to the site. Would it be weird if the pro cuddler had a business card or something on how to find them on the site. I dunno, just a thought. It could come in handy sometimes.
@Jstneedafrnd In that scenario, the Pro can just talk to the stranger. Just talk and get to know them and their situation. The Pro doesn't necessarily have to have a sales pitch ready to go. You know, just play it by ear.
Seriously, do not reply to my comments any more, because I'm tired of constantly getting targeted by your circular rhetoric.
Actually, I wasn't engaged in conversation with you at all until you tagged me with a lecture on why my opinion was wrong.
@TxTom I agree with you. And just so as not to add to the maelstrom effect here, I’d make it a point to clarify the difference between the [sharing of ideas and information with others] and the actual act of [giving advice on said information], unsolicited or otherwise. Advising someone by shoving information down their throat is not the same as the sharing of ideas and information on it. If it were, then you wouldn’t be able to talk about anything on a particular subject without it being considered a bunch of unsolicited advice being spewed, which again, makes no sense, if you’re not actually giving advice but sharing information.
The exchange of ideas on something is simply information you can do with as you wish including looking into it further. No one’s shoving anything down anyone’s throat there. Advice, on the other hand, skips out on all that and directly advises you on what you should or should not be doing. The two are not the same. Putting every information sharing dialogue as it relates to a particular subject as unsolicited is nothing short of being narrow-minded and closed off on others thoughts on a subject as a result. And just because someone might know a lot of information on the subject at hand doesn’t make them the ends all be all on the subject matter either.
Just because someone considers themselves well-versed on a subject, doesn’t mean they have to let their ego get in the way of others expressing ideas on it, and automatically deem it irrelevant or “unsolicited” if such information is shared with them too. Nor does it mean they know everything there is to know about said subject either. Nor does it mean the person sharing ideas is suddenly superior to the person well-versed in it. The only way someone would even think to interpret it this way is if they’re on a power trip and somehow feels threatened by any exchange of ideas outside of their own. Then I could see how they would view any outside alternative information shared by another on the subject as being condescending to their holier than thou expertise on the matter. But irrespective of that BS perspective, it’s still not considered unsolicited advice if no advice is ever actually given. That difference is crucial.
@PrettyLuv have I not already made that distinction, both in this thread and in the others where we have argued this point? I know we are not going to agree, but I have not seen anyone calling simply sharing information unsolicited advice. The crucial difference from the title and original post is the part about suggesting that the other person needs to try cuddling - that moves the discussion from sharing information about cuddling into giving advice, and since said person had not asked for advice it's considered unsolicited.
@cuddlefaery No we’re not going to agree. Because here you quite easily make the distinction but in other threads you do not, like the breathing thread where information was shared about others experiences on alternative herbs they benefited from that may or may not be of help to you, not unlike the scenario you painted here, which was swiftly judged as unsolicited advice. So considering that discussion, I don’t see how I could agree with someone who in one breath calls it information sharing when they’re the one sharing the information and then in another breath calls it unsolicited advice when anyone else is. I think that’s called a unilateral bias.