How do I politely suggest to a stranger they should use this site?

timbear50timbear50
in General

Have you ever met someone and thought, "dang, they sure could use a cuddle?" Regularly I come across colleagues, friends, neighbors, and customer service representatives just might enjoy life better with the therapeutic and recreational benefits of cuddling. And yet, cuddling seems like the best kept secret... I thought of having a card to hand out, "Want to cuddle?" on one side and the site description over. Seems creepy. Any other suggestions?

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Comments

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle

    Tell them there is a Bill Nye saves the world episode on cuddling that is pretty interesting. 🤗

  • timbear50timbear50

    Nice @stormydaycuddle I'm not sure I found it but...

  • timbear50timbear50

  • stormydaycuddlestormydaycuddle

    No, the cuddle one he makes his assistant go to a pro cuddler. It’s what got me started.

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    @stormydaycuddle really? googles this myself oh cool! Yoni was on Season 2 E3. I have Dr. Yoni’s cuddle book! Awesome book.

  • pmvinespmvines

    I feel like this site is designed to be found by those who seek it . I'm not sure suggesting it to someone who isn't already a fan or interested or curious is necessarily the way to go .

  • ShaneSchruteShaneSchrute

    @pmvines yes. Kinda like threads about poos.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @pmvines - Sure it is. We need to normalize the cuddle movement and not have it remain a niche thing that only a few people know about.

  • pmvinespmvines

    @ShaneSchrute but everyone poops , not everyone wants to cuddle on a website...but yes , I see your point

    @Mike403 I think everyone should have the option to find stuff like this if they are interested in it , but I personally wouldn't go grab people off the street and tell them they should consider this. The reason it's niche is because it's simply just not for everyone. And that's OK. Not everyone needs to go out and find interwebs strangers to cuddle with . It's not a need nor desire for everyone. And they're not going to want someone to try to suggest otherwise. And that's OK.

  • PeopleLikeUsPeopleLikeUs

    On occasion I will share my experiences with someone. Two of those conversations turned into cuddle buddies. Another one joined and is doing well at it. Others just want to know about it but have no interest in the culture, just in hearing about it.

    But one went really south. She's a recovering sex/relationship addict. I had this discussion with her about how just cuddling might help. She hooked up with the first guy she cuddled and dropped out of sight for months. It made things worse.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @timbear50 Just take a passive approach. Get a t-shirt printed with a cuddle phrase or slogan or CC logo. One Pro on this site has a shirt with Hug Dealer printed on it. Perhaps something like that?

  • timbear50timbear50

    @pmvines perhaps you are right. And... traffic here is so low as a percentage of population, that's a depressing thought. In the US alone, what percentage of the population have a cc account? Out of 330 Million, let's say 0.05% have an account... that's one person in 2,000. So that's 165,000 US accounts. Personally I think it should be bigger than that. It's hard to normalize and let people know it exists, and it will always probably be niche... regardless I still think it's a valid question. Has anyone had positive experience or advice telling people about CC or cuddling generally?

  • timbear50timbear50

    I like that idea @TxTom Thanks. And great to hear of @PeopleLikeUs spreading the word. I have told a few close friends, but no one has really followed up.

  • timbear50timbear50

    Also from our friends at google... "Online dating is still very popular, with nearly three in 10 U.S. adults saying they have used a dating site or app, and more than 40% stating that online dating has made dating easier for them." And to be clear, I am not comparing cuddling to dating... Just a data point of sites designed for people to meet on line. The money behind those dating sites is huge.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @pmvines - There are people who would want something like this but don't know that it exists. I was one of them until I saw a social media post about professional cuddling.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @timbear50 posted: "How do I politely suggest to a stranger they should use this site?"

    You don't; you casually mention that you use this site, and if they're interested, they can take it from there. 😊 'Cause I'd say telling someone they seem like they need a cuddle is a little too similar to asking a woman if she's pregnant. 😆

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited October 2023

    @SunsetSnuggles is correct. Don't talk about it in relation to them, talk about it in relation to you. This is nothing to do with cuddling - it is the best option in a wide variety of social situations.

    Talk enthusiastically about cuddling for a couple of sentences, and how helpful you have found it, then go on to say things like, "The site is cuddlecomfort.com. Google will find it for you. If you know of anybody who might like a cuddle, you could mention it to them."

    I use media coverage as social proof. "My friend is a professional cuddler and she had a two page interview in the Daily Mirror. And it's been on the radio loads of times. Even been on the telly in Kazakhstan."

    Give them time and space to allow the whole notion of cuddling to sink in. It's a new concept for most people and they need time to absorb and process it.

  • timbear50timbear50

    @CuddleDuncan thanks for the guidance, solid pointers on how to broach the subject. I like the secondhand "my friend is a pro" approach especially. I'll give it a try. I have a half a dozen other topics I'm trying to nudge people in, plant medicine, breathwork, and specific meditations. Sadly no cuddlers within 250 miles of either Almaty or Astana in spite of the Kazahk media hit. Perhaps a Russian, Chinese, Spanish, or Hindi site would up numbers substantially around the world. May 1,000 cuddle flowers blossom.

    Courage! To speak our hearts when others might judge.

    And yes, "dude you need a cuddle" wasn't my MO, hence the question.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    As an aside, I'm all in favour of being judged. Helps you sort the sheep from the goats.

    Somebody asked me recently, "Aren't you concerned that if a client found out about your cuddling they might fire you?"

    "Excellent," I said. "Don't want people like that in my life. Better off without them." I'd rather live in the park and eat grass.

    Now it is true that I don't have children to feed, but the principle stands. I should also say that the question is academic: I can't imagine any of my clients doing anything so daft, and I've never encountered a seriously negative response to cuddling even though I mention it widely.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @CuddleDuncan - People mentioned that they don't use their photos on here for reasons such as they don't want their employer finding out. That would be a strange reason to fire someone. Cuddling with consenting adults is perfectly legal.

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    I don’t like using the word “should.” It implies we know what is best for another person. You can share your experience, and they could check it out if it interest them.

  • CaringPawsCaringPaws

    Hire a sky writer to write cuddlecomfort in the sky next time you're on a walk or outdoors with this person 😂

  • CuddleHugs01234CuddleHugs01234

    @CaringPaws 🤣🤣🤣

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    @Mike403 my impression is that the USA is both much more positive and accepting of cuddling than here in the UK, and simultaneously much more negative and anti.

    This is an example of the famous saying that, 'For any true fact about life in the US, the opposite fact is also true.'

  • TxTomTxTom

    @CuddleDuncan
    I wonder what kind of soulless, cold-blooded, person is anti- cuddling?

  • coregulatecoregulate

    "hey have you ever heard of these sites where people go to find cuddle friends?" And their reaction will tell you if you they are open to talking more about it.. or alternatively... "Do you ever just really need a hug?"

    Someone recently told me: unsolicited advice is always criticism"

    I think about that statement a lot.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited October 2023

    As others have said, I would recommend against giving them unsolicited advice or suggestions at all - it usually isn't going to be received well.

    Instead, you can act as an advocate for the community in general - talk about your own personal experiences, share what benefits you personally have noticed, spark dialogues on mental health and self care by sharing articles and other resources. Then if they or anyone else shows interest and asks for more info on how to start, you can direct them towards the site specifically for the purpose of joining. But speaking as someone who does a lot of advocacy work, I'd be aware of accidentally being too pushy or being seen as focusing on this site alone - it makes people feel like perhaps you're just advertising and getting some sort of kickback.

    The more you can speak from personal experience and share general resources, the better, so that people are making the choice to seek more on their own rather than feeling like it's getting shoved down their throat. Think of the difference you feel between a car salesman/social media influencer/MLM ambassador gushing about a single brand every time they see you, vs. a friend who casually mentions how much their life has improved because of this one thing they use regularly - who's opinion are you going to trust more?

  • TxTomTxTom

    @coregulate
    I would disagree with the statement "unsolicited advice is always criticism." Unsolicited advice is an exchange of ideas, whether welcomed or not, and an exchange of ideas is always better than not.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery
    edited October 2023

    @TxTom I disagree. Unsolicited advice is the assumption that the recipient needs and/or desires assistance specifically from the one giving it. While it is incredibly common in our culture and pretty much everyone is guilty of it, myself included, it's a sign of entitlement. One can share information and ideas without giving advice, and one can ask for consent before offering advice.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited October 2023

    Unsolicited advice can be taken to mean that there is something wrong with you. People can just not be a certain way or like or want or need the things that we want or that we think they should want. It's ok to be different and to not always be right. Your version of right isn't necessarily someone else's version of right. Some people love star wars . I'm not a big sci fi fan . If someone tried to tell me the path to enlightenment is through the force I'd tell them to go play in traffic , same as I do with those pesky door to door religious cult recruiters.

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