Do people here only cuddle with the opposite sex?

Bev2141Bev2141
in General

Hi there! I’m new here and just trying to figure things out. It’s an understatement to say that I have a complicated history with men and so I came here looking for extremely platonic cuddling. However, the only people to reach out to me have been men, which makes me very leery. Is that how this site works? Am I too cynical? Some messages seem eerily similar to hookup sites I’ve been on in the past. For example: “I’m interested. Do you travel? Or car cuddle?” Substitute the word sex for cuddle and it’s pretty much identical. Seemingly no interest in getting to know me. It would be one thing if these were pros because I’d feel safe. But these are just random dudes on the internet. Is it me?

Comments

  • Mare_BearMare_Bear

    As a pro cuddler I would suggest having a good screening process before you find yourself alone with people you don't know, make sure to get a full name and take a look at their karma (but not karma alone). I see all people of any age, race, ability, etc. Good luck!

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan
    edited November 2023

    Welcome, @Bev2141. No, it isn't you - what you are experiencing happens to many if not most of the women who join.

    No, people here do not cuddle only with the opposite sex. Same sex cuddling is perfectly common, but much less than common than the opposite. Some women mark their profiles as 'cuddle men' but in fact are open to the possibility of cuddling another woman.

    The men on this site who send messages to women may be broadly divided into three categories. Those who are here for the right reasons (platonic cuddling); those who know perfectly well what they are supposed to be doing, but don't do it; and those who mistakenly think that this is some kind of dating site. All three groups contain a proportion of idiots.

    But there are men here of exactly the kind you are looking for. You will find them in the end, if you are persistent. Ignore or delete the messages you don't like the look of, and use the Block and Report buttons freely. You may find this thread helpful:

  • SouthernDollSouthernDoll

    No, you are not alone in a the way that you are feeling and what you have experienced so far at all.

    Here at C.C. You are allowed and encouraged to cuddle with whomever and whatever gender/identity you feel the most supported by. Instead of waiting for people to reach out to you, it’s also good to be proactive here in communicating. So if you feel like you might benefit more from cuddling with another female, then you are more than welcome to message anyone on here and ask about their availability if they are a professional cuddler as myself or even an enthusiast cuddler.

    Unfortunately and fortunately the same way you are allowed to reach out and message people, so is everyone else who has a profile on the site…… meaning that sadly you will receive messages from time to time that might not be what you want or are even looking for but you have the option to ignore, delete, block or report of you deem it necessary for your safety!

    Otherwise try using some of the search filters so you can select if there’s a certain gender(s) you prefer to cuddle on the site where it will only show you cuddlers that follow the criteria you select. All in all try your best to not let unwanted messages get to you and discourage you from trying to find the right cuddle partner, do some looking around at pros in your comfort range and build your experience from there as a start ☺️ I hope that helps you even if it only helps a little !!!

    ~ Happy Cuddling Everyone 🤗 ~

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Welcome, @Bev2141! People can choose to set their profiles to say they cuddle with Men, Women, or Everyone. You currently have Everyone selected, which means you will show up in men's searches. If you only wish to cuddle with women, to start, you might want to edit that setting (at the top right of your screen you can find the dropdown with settings).

    Personally, I rebuff any guys who try to set up a cuddle in the first message or three. I am clear in my profile and in my messages that I like to get to know people before I ever get to the point of cuddling. And before I get to the cuddling, I meet people in public for coffee, or similar.

    You can choose any boundaries that you feel good about. No car cuddles? Great, put that boundary up! I did not do hotel cuddles for a year, and I still don't do them unless the cuddler is a close friend I trust a lot. (On the flip side, lots of people, especially Pro's, prefer hotels and do them for first cuddles, all the time. Neither is correct; it's all about what you feel is best for you.)

    Lastly, your bio isn't filled out at all; try putting a bit about you, and telling people there that you like to create a foundation of friendship before moving on toward cuddling. Then if they still try to just set up a session, at least you've learned that they don't take time to read a profile.

    Best of luck and let us know if you have more questions!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101

    @Smvpixie23 Nice thread.

    Welcome ! Not every guy is after that (but unfortunately, a lot are), and I agree that the better you vet your potential cuddlers, the better your experience and quality of cuddlers. Cheers!

    You can also filter your search by age, gender, location , etc. Yeah avoid the midnight tinder type messages. Happy cuddles! =) B)

  • kelly14999kelly14999

    I think I would like to cuddle with another woman, but have no one close. I've considered paying a pro, but too much distance and my schedule doesn't seem to work when I've tried. I would like to cuddle with an enthusiast like myself because it would be a choice both of us make instead of a business transaction.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @kelly14999 Would love to hit you up if we ever cross paths!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • quixotic_lifequixotic_life

    @Bev2141 ~ To be fair you don't have anything for one to go on in your profile and the pic you posted is of you in a car. So it could be quite innocent that they're asking if you travel or cuddle in cars.

    That said... always trust your gut here. If you think there's some hinky going on, it probably is. And remember that you don't owe an explanation for your decisions to anyone other than you.

    Last bit of advice... Take some time to check out other's profiles (a lot of the forum users have good ones) and then work on your own. It may not fully cut down on the undesirables, but it should help to increase contact from those who are here for the right reasons.

    And one bit of clarification ~ There is zero reason to trust a pro over an enthusiast here. The only thing that qualifies one to be a pro, is their want to charge for their cuddles and their setting up of an account to do so. Yes, there are some amazing pros here, but there are also those who make the strong suggestions to have a good vetting process necessary.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @quixotic_life 💯👏🏻⭐️

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • Bev2141Bev2141

    A huge thank you to EVERYONE!!! 🙏🏻😘

  • 4TheSnugs4TheSnugs

    Guys who think they can get cuddles for free may be on the skeezy side.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles
    edited November 2023

    @4TheSnugs Guys can most definitely get cuddles for free, if they put in time to get to know female enthusiasts. I have cuddled a few dozen men from this site, all without charging a dime, and many of them numerous times over. They just have to be kind, trustworthy, and good communicators. 😊

    Nothing wrong with men who want free cuddles. It's human nature to want to connect on an organic level, without monetary exchange.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @4TheSnugs I wouldn't say they are skeezy, rather they are patient and don't have expectations from anyone

  • 4TheSnugs4TheSnugs

    @SunsetSnuggles
    You're right, that was a generalization. A more accurate statement would be that men who try and cuddle in an unsubtle way like it's a hook up are generally skeezy or narcissistic. Everyone wants cuddles, so why do you get it for free? I would ask. Look at /r/cuddlebuddies.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @4TheSnugs posted: "Everyone wants cuddles, so why do you get it for free?"

    I assume you're asking me, personally. My response would be that the dozens of men I've cuddled, also cuddled for free. 😊

    The other comment I would make is that I have paid for numerous group cuddles where I have met lots of lovely cuddle friends, both male and female. I continue to happily pay for them, because I love what they provide.

    (And no, the men I'm referring to have cuddled for free, were not at the paid group cuddles. Some I met there, but the ones I'm referring to have been one-on-one cuddles, for free, just us.)

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

Sign In or Register to comment.