Women: if someone breaks community guidelines, why do some women not report it or place bad karma?
I just want the psychology behind it, not really any judgement or moral advice. Thanks!
I report people alllll the time. 99% of them are people I haven't met in person. I guess that means my vetting process is working!
I literally stumbled across another OnlyFans chick yesterday. Got her banned. I'm watching you, ladies. Our men here deserve better than to be peddled to or manipulated into forking over cash through sexual temptation. They are (often) good men, they are hurting, and they need respect and care.
Back to your question...for in-person, after a year and eight months, I've had a few frustrating moves by guys, but nothing I would see reason to report. I make sure to get to know who I'm cuddling through PM first, then in public, and then we cuddle in public. There is an extremely short list of cuddle friends with whom I will cuddle in a private, enclosed space. This has worked extremely well for me, thus far.
For what I did report, it took me awhile to do so. First off, it took me awhile to process what had happened, and then to tell the person directly how I felt about it so we could try to communicate and work through it, one-on-one. When it came to reporting, I didn't want to make a scene, I didn't want to ruffle feathers in the community, I was afraid they would lie, and I had no hard proof so I feared it wouldn't be taken seriously.
What made me report was realizing that if I kept quiet, what happened to me would happen to other girls. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let that happen. I know I wasn't this person's first, but I needed to be the last.
Ladies, please always report sexually inappropriate, or any inappropriate, behavior. No matter who it is, no matter how long they've been here or how much Karma they have, no matter their gender, no matter if you have proof, no matter if you're afraid. Please report. Please protect each other.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
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@SunsetSnuggles Patrolling them streets. 🚓 🚨 👮♀️
One of the main reasons I can think of as to why some women don’t report would be for safety. If a guy tries to cross a woman’s boundaries or even goes so far as to abuse her or sexually assault her, sometimes it takes place in her home. I’ve heard horror stories of some women reporting men for lewd acts and SA, and they ended up stalking them. I mean, for me, I reported one dude for being an absolute abusive piece of garbage here in the forums and he ended up finding out my number and email, and started harassing me. I sent the voicemails and emails to the owner of the site and finally got him banned. That pissed him off so he stalked me everywhere: other cuddle sites, my YouTube channel, my phone and email until I blocked him. He went psycho. He threatened to pay someone else to meet me publicly so I give him my address to cuddle, and the paid dude would give the psycho my address so he could come and “kill me”…..
I know the moderators try their best to keep reports as anonymous as they can, but sometimes they can’t.
P.S. I had left great Karma prior to the incident, and eventually had it removed. I have not written them negative Karma, for the same reasons I didn't immediately report. Feel free to advise.
I'm relatively new to this and I've had a negative experience that really jarred me. I wasn't sure what to do and wanted to report but the reports aren't anonymous and ultimately people know where you live once you invite them over, so for me it was a safety thing. I settled on not providing karma. My concern was that this person had several good reviews and he had told me that every cuddler he had been with was ok with kissing/making out, which is why he tried it with every cuddler without asking. I worry that for fear of receiving bad karma or no karma (especially newer cuddlers), people will give good reviews to people who clearly don't care about the rules. Not sure if there's a way to fix that. It's much easier to report people who you haven't met yet.
@Ceecee2023 I heard their retribution karma can be removed if you report it.
@Minestrone101 - It can, I had it happen to me. It was taken down within a few hours of me reporting it.
@PixiePassions ❤️
I’m very new here and am just starting to talk to potential cuddle friends. This thread is actually a little concerning to me. How often would you ladies say men are inappropriate? Is it worth trying to find someone decent?
@SunsetSnuggles @Cuddle_RN
@Vivianne there are a lot of amazing men on this site to cuddle. They respect boundaries and do everything they can to make sure you are comfortable. They are out there. You just have to spend a good amount of time talking, get a picture, meet in public first, make sure you have enough conversations between each other on what your boundaries are and what’s important to the both of you. A respectful man will do everything he can to make sure you’re safe and that you both enjoy a good snuggle.
Unfortunately, there are men out there who only see us as pieces of meat solely put on this earth to serve them and their needs. Talking with most of these men long enough, they show their creepy sides at some point. So take your time, keep making sure these men know what you want in a cuddle. There are men searching for sex and unfortunately there are women out here offering it so we have to be diligent. Trust me, the amazing, respectful and super snuggly guys are out there!
@Minestrone101 see Vivienne's comment to see why this probably isn't the greatest way of putting this. You know all the answers to these questions. You're not new. I'm not sure why these are the topics you need to bring up constantly? Constantly... necro one of those threads. There are plenty of them. They already have the answers and everything. Maybe talking about community rules and guidelines instead might be a good idea instead of throwing things out there like this. Talk about solutions, link resources etc... Don't ask in essence why people have no faith in this community. Its a great community. I want to believe this is a genuine attempt at something good but I'm starting to think what you may want for Christmas is a spoon... for all those pots being stirred.
@Vivianne while I will admit you do need to vet your potential cuddle partners there are plenty of good ones out there.
@stormydaycuddle - I'm addressing an issue that's very real. If it wasn't, people wouldn't engage.
@Minestrone101 then link the others you've created instead. Add resources. Lets recap the past few days activity shall we? This isn't one post and they aren't innocent or helpful. These are previous dumpster fires. You sir need to yet again ask if a level of attractiveness makes a difference in cuddling? AGAIN? This is only THIS week. This is habitual.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18800# https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18799# https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18797#
@netrunner @CharlieBear
If it were productive I'd be all about it but its several topics a week. Dumpster fires he's already brought up.
@stormydaycuddle Agree to disagree. I see a healthy discussion and no one's feelings were hurt. Good day.
@minestrone101 then leave it at the last one... or the one before that... or the one before that.
Love to see an open discussion. Period. Cheers, ya'll!
Maybe there is the fear that the person being bad-karma'd will come back and report them in spite for no reason other than embarrassment or something? I've observed someone providing "bad" karma which I thought seemed kind of silly but that was in relation to like, a cuddle therapist not getting back to them and I would hope we aren't focusing on that subject really, because it's a little unfair. I know the O.P. is about like, breaches in ethics and things of that nature, still my guess would be generic fear of retaliation
P.S. Wait, how come my profile picture isn't showing up for the thread? XD I'm new here, thanks. Please ignore if this detracts too much from original thread.
@HuggingHandsLMT it takes a while for it to load into the system. Like it gets cached.
And yes. Your reasoning is a huge part of it. There are some community posts about this topic that really help. I would have preferred to see that linked. Or the necros brought back etc. I’ll go find you one with good resources and pm you if you’d like? The community is really great. Welcome. The mods are pretty good about retaliation stuff if you message them.
@Vivienne In your process of filtering out who you may or may not want to cuddle, the forums can be helpful, because people often write their own karma here.
I hope you find someone in your area who is respectful and who is a good fit.
@stormydaycuddle I will continue to discuss and enjoy the thoughts of others within the limitations and guidance of the community guidelines. So, I won't change.
@Minestrone101 i think @CharlieBear addressed that in another post. 😃
@stormydaycuddle Probably on multiple 😅
People who have been reported and banned just create new accounts unfortunately. Time and time again I’ve seen banned people come back and just slightly change their name.
If you see that, report them. Sometimes they don't get flagged automatically, and even when they do, having a human perspective helps the moderators to verify that it's a returned ban.
@stormydaycuddle @CharlieBear I do not think @Minestrone101 is trying to stir the pot. I believe he realized a flaw/room for improvement in the original thread's poll, regarding attraction, and is seeking to improve upon it. That being the poll was for all genders, and the discussion came up that it is likely different for men vs. women. I believe that's why he's bringing it up with separate threads, to gather more clear data. I find it interesting. 🤓
Also, I believe it is a shortcoming on the site, because you can only include one survey per post, and you can't edit it. I think he did the only thing he could, to get the results people are curious about, with the tools available.
Some people find tax law fascinating but I don’t need multiple post reiterations of it. Although technically tax law is more useful than an unscientific poll.
@BoomerSpooner Tax laws trump everything.
@SunsetSnuggles 💯. I am kind of flattered that people take the time to follow me around and track my posts. The pen is truly mightier than the sword , and I'm pretty good at the sword ⚔️.
We don't have to follow you. They're on top of the front page very often.