I'm not really sure how to "explain" this without giving away personal information I don't feel should have ever been volunteered in the first place, but I've revised my profile and reported said member. As someone who struggles with anxiety that therapy nor medication help, I "get it", but I can't even "drop everything" for me, so how am I supposed to do that for someone else? There's a level of dependency that some people form that I just don't understand. I took it as a compliment that they wanted me to only want to cuddle with them because they only wanted to cuddle with me, BUT I HAVE A JOB and THIS AIN'T IT!!! It's an unrealistic expectation. Pretty much all of us have jobs, so our days off are going to be different, making having multiple cuddle buddies necessary. It's not M-Y fault that I'm a female so it's "easier" for me (which is A JOKE because I have 2 cuddle buddies who I talked to for over a year before I met up with them- This IS NOT "easy" for me!! The guilt tripping and implication of like gender "privilege" was EXTREMELY concerning..)I don't have a problem cuddling people with mental health issues as long as it doesn't put me at risk physically, but when someone is prescribed medication and just decides they want to stop taking it and substitute those meds with cuddling, I CAN'T! Like, that's crossing a dangerous line given this person's diagnosis. And yes @BoomerSpooner- There have been like, 4 of them now!!
There have been like, 4 of them now!!
@great_pillow08 Yeah you have told me about one or two of them. Pretty scary…just continue to stick to your guns and trust your gut. You do not owe anyone your time unless you choose to offer it!
@great_pillow08
It's not M-Y fault that I'm a female so it's "easier" for me… This IS NOT "easy" for me!! The guilt tripping and implication of like gender "privilege" was EXTREMELY concerning..)
I agree with you and I believe this is a crucial point that is lost on a lot of people. There is an old expression, often used about political candidates, which states “Nothing is impossible to the person who doesn’t have to do it.” The idea is that a candidate can make all types of promises about what they WILL do once elected because as the candidate they aren’t expected to actually do anything. After getting elected they see the situation from a completely different perspective and often times they have to back track on promises made in ignorance because they didn’t understand the complexity of a problem and their campaign slogan “solution” just won’t cut it.
I say that because I have NEVER heard a woman talk about “female privilege”. What may appear as “privilege” to a man only looks that way because they have never walked a mile in your shoes. I think there is a lot of “the grass is greener on the other side” thinking / speculation going on. Some men may perceive women as having an easier time at some things, then do a lot of projecting about how “privileged” a woman’s life must be, while being completely oblivious to other aspects of life where women have a more difficult time. However, I think this phenomenon of people forming false assumptions about how good other groups have it extends to more than just women.
Anyway, I just wanted to express my support for your position. The idea of cuddling someone who has quit taking psychoactive prescriptions and decided they will replace their medications with YOU is quite concerning. Don’t allow them to guilt trip you into anything. It sounds like they need a level of professional help well beyond what you (or any other cuddler) should even attempt to provide.
My response to that sort of request would be something along the lines of: I am not a medical provider, and so unfortunately I will not be able to provide the services you seek.
With folks who are less creepy about it / approach it in a much more healthy way: I'm happy to be part of a therapeutic team where cuddling is used as adjunct treatment under the guidance of a medical professional.
I've definitely had clients and cuddle partners with fairly severe mental health concerns (heck, I could be considered to have them myself though currently well managed). The difference is if they're treating cuddling as a magic pill vs. one tool in the toolbox.
@cuddlefaery I like your approach. I'm also a semi-retired CMT who mostly works on older folks for no money or maybe $20, because it seems like the people who need massage the most are often the ones who can afford it the least. I mention that because oftentimes I have to deal with clients getting attached to me emotionally or even physically as well as wanting me to "drop everything," and have to remind them of a vibe similar to, "I'm happy to be part of a therapeutic team where cuddling is used as adjunct treatment under the guidance of a medical professional," which I gotta say is perfect.
I enjoy reading your posts. I find you have a lot of wisdom about cuddling.
@KateBee thanks 😊 I definitely have to work at it because my inner voice would have me say not so professional things lol. But with my own mental health history, I know how easy it is to latch on to the ONE thing that seems to work so I try to give folks the benefit of the doubt.
I get request to meet people who are really lonely and they tend to want to text me all day like I'm their friend. Well .. I don't mind being nice and such but at the end of the day I am offering a service not building a friendship.
This!😊👍
@aprilbaybi I have received messages from obviously lonely individuals as well (yeah with some of them the loneliness just reeks through their messages🙄), so yes I agree with you there. I had one guy who was VERY VERY LONELY and yes he was texting all day and every day it seemed. He was always complimenting "my physical looks" and mentioning "how EXCITED he was to meet and cuddle with me". Lol!😊
Don't get me wrong...Please don't!😌🤚
I really appreciate getting compliments like the next gal (I do really😁), but if saying "how pretty/beautiful/gorgeous/sexy I am" multiple times is the extent of one's conversation skills (which it was with this dude) then chances are we're not going to cuddle.😑😏
Hell, I am likely to not want to meet in person at all!😑
And I am very much open to building friendships with cuddle buddies😊, so long as cuddle buddies are open to friendships with me too. And if their DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP is complimentary with MY DEFINITION of friendship then friends and cuddle buddies we shall be.😊👍
Seems like people come here with intentions to find some one to date.
Very much agree with THIS!👍👍👍
@aprilbaybi Yep I have attracted my share of people like that too, regardless of how many times I have made the "JUST HERE FOR CUDDLING" message loud and clear in my profile and photo gallery too. Lol!😄 Yep, I even have memes to back up my entire "Just Here For Cuddling" message.😁 But some bozos still wanna 'try me' anyway, as if they are an exception...How wrong they are!😐
I am not a therapist, but I am a good listener when I am not talking, but ultimately I am there to cuddle and relax.
👍👍👍
@BoomerSpooner That's me too, I am not a therapist however I can listen to one's personal problems and frustrations that life will ALWAYS through at us while hugged up with someone...Sure I can definitely do that!😁👍
Now cuddling can be therapeutically relaxing and happy vibe sending through one's body, yes I agree with that.😁 However, I don't envision myself being a THERAPIST with cuddling cuz I'm not a therapist.😌
No, I'm just here to be close and cuddly with those who want to be close and cuddly with me.😊