@BoomerSpooner - She mentioned about it being suspicious that the guy blocked her and all I said was that he did it so she couldn't respond like a coward. If there was a personal attack, it was towards the guy hating on the OPs singing.
@coquette Thank you. Also if it helps I don't think @Mike403 was intending to be rude by tagging you, he likely just found what you said valuable enough to add to and directly engage with you. Like looking at the people you're talking to and directly engaging with what what they say. Though if you wish him not to tag you, for whatever reason, I'm sure he'd respect your decision.
@coquette Also, I don't think I was actually thinking of her lol. Though I do enjoy her music and used to listen to it a fair bit years ago. Nowadays, I've not listened to her music actively much, though I just might. 😊
@bobbadevotee It was a social media platform, though I'm not sure I wanna name names.
@Mike403 You are missing the point. This isn’t about whether you did anything wrong—I don’t think you did. But tagging someone when commenting on what they wrote can be perceived as a criticism or an attack. Not tagging people in those situations is proactive because you are bringing 0% attention to them.
@BoomerSpooner I don't really think one size fits all, not tagging may also be perceived as rude because it could be argued that you're commenting on something without acknowledging the person who said it.
Though I think we can both agree that if a particular person finds A or B rude, then it's probably best to not or avoid doing A or B with said person. I don't think it's worth going back and fourth about, just like personality clashes there might also be perception clashes. So I'd hope this doesn't turn into a post shutdown or people getting their feelings hurt on either side, because it ends up getting out of hand.
I may or may not understand it, though I can respect that @coquette felt singled out, I also doubt I'd feel that way about it. Though I'm not her and everyone perceives things differently. On the other hand, I can understand that it was, in all likelihood, in no way @Mike403's intention to be rude or single her out. I know he tries to engage with and have conversations with various people. He might not always directly engage with multiple people because he has no time, interest, or reason to always do that.
I think another reason things may be getting heated or ongoing is him responding with "uh.." to coquette's question, which may have exasperated her feelings. Although I'm not faulting him for saying that as he was probably perplexed by it and felt however he did about his attempt to engage with her by adding to what she said being questioned. Though just trying to provide possible explanations at what like took place. All in all, I think it's probably best that @Mike403 try to understand her feelings about it and perhaps not tag her if that's what she'd prefer. Rather than keep going back and fourth about it.
Tagging generates a notification and email to that person so they can read what was said. it has nothing to do (for me anyway) making someone feel singled out.
@Mike403 Right... though some people may perceive it negatively. So you can decide to not tag said people if they wish to or have expressed feeling negatively about it. With all due respect, it's not so much about you, your reasons or whether or not what took place is rude or not. You can agree to disagree and perhaps not engage with said person. Even if someone tells me he or she feels x about me saying hi or asks why I'm saying hi to them, then says it's rude... or makes them feel someway, I'm wouldn't really keep going back and fourth arguing that it isn't rude. Especially if I already started that once or twice. I'd just back away. Said person has his or her reasons and I've mine, plus I can choose to walk away and engage with others who wouldn't feel bothered by how I engage with them. I think that's what it comes down to at the end of the day.
I'm with you @Mike403 . I didn't think your tag came across as rude. To me, tagging is the online version of facing someone while conversing with them in person.
Thanks for learning this lesson for the rest of us. Folks really get upset easily around here.
She said she didn’t want to be tagged and it upset and angered her. Sometimes things are a trigger that upsets people. Yes some may be upset that there were no attributions for their posts but that would be vanity and ego bruises. I would rather bruise someone’s ego than upset someone. Being upset and hurt are rarely areas full of logic as they are more emotional in nature. Remove an emotional trigger and you make the world a kinder place than what it was even if it is by a fraction.
@BoomerSpooner "Sometimes things are a trigger that upsets people."
Yes and not tagging people may be a trigger and upsetting to some, too. Doesn't necessarily have to do with vanity or ego. Maybe someone has often experienced people talking about them or what they say as if they aren't there. I don't think arguing for one and simplify the other as just ego or vanity is fair. So to me, it's all about how one looks at it and we can agree to disagree.
"Yes some may be upset that there were no attributions for their posts but that would be vanity and ego bruises. I would rather bruise someone’s ego than upset someone. Being upset and hurt are rarely areas full of logic as they are more emotional in nature. Remove an emotional trigger and you make the world a kinder place than what it was even if it is by a fraction."
A similar example:
https://youtube.com/shorts/Yd0csJDHWxQ?si=OyTyD8guFQVmSGJ7
Some of the slopes of cc are more slippery than goose poo. I like being here but I try to make sure I've got the specific traction before I step.
@TxTom Yep.
Ok then tag away. But if someone else gets upset by it don’t create a post wondering and asking why they were upset and if there was a protocol for it. I was merely suggesting the best course of action if you do not want to upset people. People are unpredictable and things can go sideways quickly. Welcome to life and its daily messiness.