Platonic cuddling. Does it really exist here?

Tatsy

I am a new pro cuddler and was absolutely slammed at the beginning with requests and all I did all day long was cuddling. I quickly came to realization that almost every man didn’t have an Intention of platonic cuddling and had ulterior motives. There are many sites to find someone for sex. Why can’t those people leave this space for purely platonic activities? I’m about to abandon this platform. I’m disappointed.

Mike403

@Tatsy - Always take payment before the session begins and if they even hint at wanting to push things to non-platonic levels, get up and leave (or kick them out if you're hosting) then report their ass. A lot of guys will come here looking for sex and hit up new pros since they may not have the skills yet to look for the red flags.

sunnysideup

@Tatsy My apologies for your experience. As Mike403 mentioned new pros in particular get tested by boundary pushers. Once you’re established yourself a bit and fine tuned your filtering process, I’ve heard it becomes a lot better, but other pros can speak more on that.

As to the psychology of why they don’t just go to other sites that offer that, it could be a power or ego thing of getting more than one one actually paid for. These people are bad news.

Another possible reason is that a good number of guys are on here because dating hasn’t worked out for them and they lack touch because they aren’t In relationship. These poor souls are over eager for someone to date. Poor socialization, inability to recognize actual cues, etc, may cause them to think that you’re ‘into’ them due to the combination of kindness and physical contact, which is not your fault at all.

I hope you have reported the above people to the mods. When they are made aware, they are pretty good and getting rid of the bad actors.

I hope you hang in there, but I can’t blame you if you want to take an indefinite break, many have.

BashfulLoner

Hmm

TxTom

Don't give up yet, @Tatsy . I'm sure there are some good ones here!

cuddddles

As someone who recently got into this, I hope so.

cde123

I heard that your area of the country has particularly bad clients, although that’s no excuse for pushing boundaries.

lifecuddle21

Not just men cuddlers it’s woman pros tricking on here giving bad names to the platonic cuddling . I had some asking if I wanted skin to skin and gets creepier

Lovelight

"I am a new pro cuddler and was absolutely slammed at the beginning with requests and all I did all day long was cuddling. I quickly came to realization that almost every man didn’t have an Intention of platonic cuddling and had ulterior motives. There are many sites to find someone for sex. Why can’t those people leave this space for purely platonic activities? I’m about to abandon this platform. I’m disappointed."

My responses:

Welcome and I'm sorry about your experiences. Unfortunately, I think that's way, way too common and it breaks my heart. How so ___ obsessed, society is or can be. In my opinion how a lot of men, for the most part I'd say, can be and not only that, though to varying degrees disrespectful about it is utterly revolting and heartbreaking. I think a lot of men would rather either have no woman touch them at all if it doesn't involve their private parts, or they find ways to try to push boundaries: which either way often leaves them so lonely, more unfulfilled and or gets them in trouble if they cross certain lines.

In my opinion a lot of guys or at least one too many also have a double standard where they wanna sleep around with many women, though look down on the women who are doing the very same thing as if that's even logical. Now you wonder why don't they just do so and so. Well... from what I've read, they likely wouldn't for the same reason(s) they wanna stick their blank into any and every woman or whatever they can, then at the end of the day "settle down" with a woman whose never been touched or has less of a "body count" than them, much, much less I'd say. They also wouldn't, because they perceive that as purely transactional and it makes them feel miserable, or more unfulfilled at the end of it, plus whatever other reasons they've, from what I've read.

So they try to find a platform where or women who they think they can have a sense of nurturing touch or where they think they can try to have a 'pseudo relationship' and try to push boundaries. Also they try to do that, because they think they can get away with it without feeling like they slept with x who they look down upon. Then there are those who are even more low lives and just take enjoyment from pushing boundaries at every turn they can. I've also heard from or read some women who do giggity giggity for money saying that they be talking on the phone or scheduling their next 'client' while in the act with someone. So while I think it's safe to say that there's at least some legitimatize to what said men say.

Another thing that I think is important to note, is that even if they saw blank "workers" which they may or may not already be seeing, they'd likely treat them as objects and to one degree or another try to dehumanize them too. So who knows, maybe even the blank "workers" are fed up with them and have blacklisted them. Or they are trying to have their cake and eat it too.

However, to be clear, I'm of course not in support of the men being disgusting, nor blank "work", I'm simply sharing what I know about the situation at hand. Although I wouldn't victim blame if something bad was to happen to one and I believe they should get justice all the same.

Also what what I'm saying some men might think it's harsh, if you were a woman who was so frequently looked at as nothing more than a tool to be used for ones pleasure and for your body, I think you'd have much the same view. I know there are good men, however this isn't about them. This is about the many who aren't nor trying to be. Even women in relationships with some of them aren't safe from this objectification as it comes in various forms and levels, which at times can be quite covert. I think until said men learn to better control their pp, be respectful members of society, and not let their pp dictate their life or essentially be a slave to it, we will all in various ways and levels continue to suffer from these dangers that plague us. Until they learn to stop being blanks and see women and their bodies as deserving of respect and see them as humans, not as objects to satisfy their urges, we will suffer from it. Even more so I think until society stops essentially using x to buy and large sell any and everything, we will continue to suffer. I think this conversation goes beyond just men, and that there's some level of social engineering that makes it so that women are viewed so often as basically objects. Although that's in no way to absolve said men of their vile behaviors.

All I can say is, try to be careful and safe. I know... why don't we tell them to stop being blanks to us... Well unfortunately I can't just tell predators to stop preying and that just fixes it. So all we can do is our best to be safe, learn, and better guard ourselves in this world no matter if we're men, or women. I know it can be really distressing, though I believe there are good men out there. The world isn't as doom and gloom as it might seem. So if you are able to learn from your experiences, better learn to spot the red flags, have boundaries to try to better protect yourself, etc., take care of yourself and step back sometimes if you need to, you can potentially meet men who are genuine and respectful. If these experiences do or are taking a toll on you, I think it's best to step away and depending on the severity or level maybe consider therapy. Though I hope you can meet people with whom you can feel safe soon. I think being a pro, also comes with the challenge that some men who might very well be respectful of you aren't comfortable with paying, so it might make your experience seem worse than it might be. Not to say that enthusiasts, especially female enthusiasts, necessarily have it much easier.

Lovelight

PS. Some of them want to use women... though don't want to be used, or feel used by women. Hence, one of several or many reasons why they might not go the route you mentioned.

Lovelight

Also I'm not saying you, OP, are. Though if any woman is a single mother here, I'd highly advise keeping that to yourself. Both from general safety stand point and also because I've read men elsewhere talking about how they prey on single mothers and view them as easy. Which needless to say, I found utterly disgusting! So unless you really feel comfortable, trust and probably have a good reason to, I'd keep that and whatever else you need to yourself.

CuddleDuncan

To answer the question: yes it does.

NickWk

@Tatsy be clear with your intentions and boundaries. It’s sad that we agree to certain terms of service that shouldn’t even have to be repeated, but each and every individual should have their own certain boundaries to be respected. To be fair, few if any cuddles I have had have have begun with that discussion and that seems like a recipe for any abusive individual to test their limits. And to reiterate what others have said, do not be afraid to say no, end the session, walk out, or whatever you have to do to end a session you are not comfortable with.

cuddlefaery

In short, yes it does. However, CC is not separate from the society in which we live and so until we change how society treats women, and especially women service workers, we will continue to have this issue on pretty much every platform on and offline.

warm_embrace

Yes, platonic cuddling does exist on this platform; and some people push those boundaries either by requesting more, or offering more. I suggest screening until you’re comfortable that you are both on the same page.

Minestrone101

Filter filter filter. Check the pro forum for tips. Set up more screening (phone calls, video chat, or meet in public) to see if they're a good fit before cuddling. Report anyone who tries to push boundaries.

Include more boundaries and and protocol on your profile. Gl!

Cadawin

I struggled with this when I started. It’s frustrating and does put a bad taste in your mouth. Set clear hard boundaries, always get paid up front and hold your boundaries. If another cuddled offered something outside CC guidelines maybe suggest go back to that person then report the creeper. Platonic cuddling is a NEEDED form of therapy, majority of people don't fully understand platonic. Educate them if you feel moved to do so. Above all stay safe and listen to your gut 🫶🏼

leisurebabe

I saw this post and was like omg someone gets it. Someone understands.

All the men who have booked with me ended up doing some dumb sexual shit and I had to call police and report them.

I quickly end sessions once they push boundaries and yes, everything is on my profile prior to the appointment. I’m about to give up on cuddle comfort, I thought it would be a great way to make money, but it’s not worth the trauma.

Men need to do better and I agree with you Tatsy, there are websites for that.

SunsetSnuggles

@sunnysideup is very wise. 💯

@Minestrone101 has great advice.

Yes, platonic cuddling absolutely exists. We have to carefully pick and choose who we agree to cuddle, to avoid those here for the wrong reasons. You can PM me for some red flags if you like; many of us prefer not to post them publicly, so as not to give those people a map of how to fly under the radar.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

"Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man." ~ Benjamin Franklin

stormydaycuddle

The creepers hit up the new pros as fast as they can to see if they can push boundaries when you're not expecting it. Happens a bit. Platonic cuddling is a thing here. You've gotta vet and report.

stormydaycuddle

@Tatsy @leisurebabe it does get wayyy better. It can be frustrating because you don't expect to have to be on guard. I have a letter I send everyone before we cuddle. It is strongly worded enough that I get a few cancellations BUT it works and you don't want those clients anyway. I think the letter is the perfect balance between 'this is what its about' and 'go directly to jail. Do not pass go or collect 200$' (Its not that strongly worded but... kinda)

The messages I get for cancellation AFTER sending that letter are funny though. It doesn't happen often anymore but people are interesting.

Stuff like this: "Hey, sorry. I forgot my grandma needed a new spleen today and I'm the only one who can preform the surgery"

SnugglyMel

There is. Every session but one of mine has been platonic. I've had a bad experience, and it's making me question being on here at all, honestly... but there are so many red flags. I'll list a few.
Calling me by pet names like babe - Thank u, next
Asking me what my boundaries are - NEXT
Don't want to send me 2-3 clear photos of you? Nope
Keep changing the time of the cuddle? I'm not remaking my entire schedule to fit you in after your first cancellation, sorry.
Any bad karma? Next!
Overeager? I'm going to exercise caution with that.
You give me a bad feeling or bad vibes? I'm out.

Mike403

Report every red flag you get in your inbox even if it may not be a bannable offense. It helps the mods keep track of the behavior of an individual in case they need to take action eventually.

wilderdude

Your profile does say platonic only, I would suggest something a bit more aggressive, like you will report them. Maybe repeat it a couple of times too, in caps.

stormydaycuddle

....

Ltkit

I'm sorry you've had a bad start. Like @stormydaycuddle said, vet as best you can prior to meets and express your boundaries explicitly.

Also ASK what boundaries the client has.... if you get "I'm comfortable with whatever you are...", please be careful because that should be a good indicator of someone wanting more.

Vocalist100

I'm not a pro and (obviously) not female, but I think @sunnysideup is more right than wrong about the psychology of why this might happen as often as it does. Of course, for some it's a power trip, for others it's ego, but I think for a large portion, it's just loneliness which is a HUGE problem in our society. And that loneliness lends itself to sometimes just wanting to feel like a normal person, even if it means trying to push boundaries, yet not realizing one is doing that. Of course, it doesn't excuse the attempt, but it does explain it.

Mike403

@Ltkit - I would interpret them asking me about boundaries as what additional boundaries I have beyond the rules of the site. Some people don't like having their face touched. I wouldn't think of to say things like "stay platonic/non-sexual" since that should be a given and it feels awkward for me to bring it up. Of course pros have to say that to guys to weed out those who are here for the wrong reason.

carrieanne

I’m specifically, addressing the many women on CC who are constantly asking this type of question…
Flat out this - in black and white:
It doesn’t do any good to ask why. We can’t control the behavior of the men who choose not to use self-control.
We can appreciate the comments from the men here who are free from guilt and are comfortable addressing this in the Forums as they offer their sympathy, but they can’t ever know how it feels. They. really. can’t.
We all choose what we can deal with and need to make the decision to stay away from what we can’t.

PixiePassions

I have had many wonderful clients from this site who never pushed boundaries, and only a few I had to report. They definitely exist. One gentleman was even so by the book that he told me about cuddlers he had reported for being too sexual. So don't give up yet, there are good clients on here. Wishing you luck - and safety!

Mike403

Yes. Guys need to report pros for not being strictly platonic because it encourages other guys to push for it if there are some pros willing to offer it. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex, but this isn't the right place to look for it. As the OP mentioned, there are other sites for that.