@TxTom thank you so much for being my first and most pleasant cuddle experience
@Tatsy Your pictures strike me more as business casual. I don't see a problem.
Thank you, @Tatsy . You are an incredible woman. I look forward to seeing you again.
Just don't give up on this site. You'll find many wonderful people here, and an incredible support network of fellow Pros.
@TxTom thank you! I am in Miami right now and I think maybe that’s the problem lol. Curious to see how things continue to develop when I go back home to Austin in 3 weeks.
@Tatsy
It’s up to you what you decide to do and truly does suck to have to experience sessions with non-platonic cuddlers, when they lie about their intentions. There are more people on here who tend to bend the rules than follow them, but good cuddlers that are actually platonic do exist maybe you’ve to adjust your vetting process more and hopefully find a decent person to cuddle with. It just might take sometime to come along a quality cuddle partner.
@cuddlefaery
Well Said !
~ Happy Platonic Cuddling Everyone 🤗 ~
@tatsy your photos are rated G, nothing sultry or suggestive at all. Very normal photos!
.
I would YES , based on my experience. I know there may be a few bad apples now and then. Like a lot of people say, go by your gut feeling. Hoping you have better experiences and take care
Yikes! For sure @Tatsy .... your pics are perfect for this site and crazy that anyone could even think differently!! 🤦🏻♀️ Listen to what @TxTom said....he's absolutely correct ☺️ Making a comparison like that is such a far stretch, you'd have to be Ms Incredible to make it!! 🤷🏻♀️
MOST IMPORTANTLY It is NEVER the woman's fault for a man's bad behavior regarding sexual assault or sexual advances. Never, never ever!! Please stop spreading the wrong idea that someone "is asking for it" due to their pics. There's absolutely ZERO justification for assuming someone is a SW based on pics or outfits.
It's the distinction between thoughts versus actions: People may have thoughts they cannot control, but they CAN control their actions. And a grown a** man who tries to use this excuse (but who can somehow totally control himself when he sees a sexy woman in public, or woman wearing sexy outfits), is a predator, plain and simple. They are absolutely for the streets. 🗑️ Women see sexy men and do not assault them....every.single.day. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
It's like saying "Well your honor, their picture made them look like they're a jerk so, to me, that meant I would be more than justified to attack them as soon as I saw them in person, cuz they were "asking" for it"
Especially other women spreading those ideas....NO! Just no! 😒😒🙄🙄 Geez! I can't even on here sometimes .... Now I need to go take my blood pressure or have some chamomile tea so I don't explode 💥😑
@RedFox16 - I rolled my eyes at that comment. I was wondering why it took so long for somebody to address it. When a guy said something similar, there was almost immediately two pages of people attacking him for it.
Right! @Mike403 tbh I was shocked at that too! I think it also added to the shock value that it was another woman and pro who made the comment! AND her pictures weren't even remotely inappropriate (not that it would justify the comment either ...but just saying) 😑🤦🏻♀️ just no!
I’ve had a few try to push the boundaries but for the most part they are on whatever you are on. I can tell many of them are use to women negotiating with them and or they are just outright selling it. Also, I’ve had men refuse to leave Karma because I didn’t sleep with them. Luckily, it hasn’t stopped interest but I do make sure I vet them beforehand. Remember, taking breaks from the site are also needed. Although cuddling can be very enjoyable it can also drain you of your precious energy. Best wishes
This pile-on is getting to be a bit much, though. I know pros with little more than a face shot on their profiles - and that’s just fine too considering that pros are expected to cuddle any client, not just the fit ones. For the record I don’t think there is anything wrong with OP’s photos, but my main takeaway is that she should raise her rates based on the enthusiastic replies in this thread 😇
I might be wrong about this and I've not cuddled with a lot of men before. Though I think even with all sorts of precautions taken, it might unfortunately be that, for every one man who respects boundaries set by the site and individuals, there's maybe 2 at best who don't. There are a lot of reasons for why I think this, several of which I shared.
It's really tough and I don't suppose we can really ever be too careful.
@Tatsy one of my best friends is a pro cuddler and at first she was like you. She's a few years younger than you and looks really good and is probably a size 20 in women's cloths which you are not. If you are not doing this already you need to carefully screen your cuddlers. if someone had no photo...she blocked them. If they were married they got blocked. if they were in town on biz? Blocked...and the ones she exchanged emails with, she asked questions about them and also reminded them that this would be platonic only and did they agree to this? she literally would ask them three times...she still got decent pro cuddles and less hassle and aggravation. Part of the fees pro charge should take into account the time you spend vetting people. So if you want $100 for a cuddle, maybe your rates are $125 for first timers...
Just my two cents..
@NYCCuddler - Why is temporarily being in town a red flag? Can't people cuddle while traveling?
@Mike403 I suppose everyone's reasons are different in that regard. Though I'm one of the folks who is not really big on meeting people who live far away and just visiting here. So perhaps my explanation will help too. Also I'm speaking from an enthusiast perspective, in no particular order:
They likely want to show up and cuddle asap and do so indoors, on a comfy couch or bed. Which probably doesn't give me much opportunity to meet someone more easily without the potential pressure of having to cuddle, especially if it comes from them in some way or another. Rather than me feeling that of my own accord. Additionally, I indefinitely don't cuddle indoors.
I'm also a bit... of a unique case... who isn't... right? Though really I'm, so he might not want to cuddle in public with me to begin with, and when he shows up, he might not be happy with who he sees. I do video calls. Though still, he might feel like lemme just try thinking he's fine with it, feel uncomfortable saying no thus go along with it, or proceed with meeting me just because he didn't find another or that was a no show for him. Which are all in him, though there's a high probability for that for me, so I'd rather avoid it. Unless I feel with certain individuals that it is likely to work out.
Or simply we put in the effort to talk about it all... then he factors in the distance, which is a bit... much even if just a city far away, and decides it's not for him. So personally, while I wouldn't block unless I've a good reason to. I tend to avoid it, because I fairly know myself and how I'm perceived. Maybe in very few cases I'd allow if I feel I'm likely to be accepted, and that it wouldn't be an issue if I'm not ready to cuddle or find I don't want to.
There are probably people who are okay and comfortable with it. Though some aren't at all, or not really, and it may come across to them as concerning or too difficult to navigate for a variety of reasons.
@NYCCuddler yea why married or in town on business? I’ve been seeing pros for 9 years and have been married for 24 years. I also almost always book sessions when on business trips. Why would those two things cause a ban?
Not this case, but I read a story about a provider (not here) whose client’s wife passed away during botched plastic surgery, and the provider was shaken because she thought the wife might have been trying to become more beautiful to hold her husband’s interest. In another case, a friend not on this site had some bad issues with entitlement among career men in business, and decided never again. So there are plenty of personal and legitimate experiences which could result in pros not wanting to cuddle any given category of men.
@Morpheus sounds like she wanted to avoid any drama, harassment or arguments about her boundaries.
@Morpheus Not a ban, a block. They don’t prefer that. @cde123 I agree! I’ve notice a certain group of men will act a certain way. Not saying which group, but after so many interactions, a person will believe the majority of that certain group will act a certain way. There are exceptions, but one group so far on here is like 6:1. Another group is 8:1.
@Lovelight Great comment, I agree disabled women (and men) should definitely be added to the "viewed as easy" lists too.😌
@lonelytauros Aww, why thank you! I do love emojis!😀😃😄😁😆🥰🤩😍🥲😇😚☺️😗😜🤪😝🤫🤭🤗☺️😁
@Katota @lonelytauros - Emojis are awesome.
🌆👩💼🤔💤😟 📰👀🤗💡 📞👩💼👩🤝 🏠🛋️👐🧘♀️😊 ⏰🤗👭😌 🌙👩💼😴🌈✨
@sd123 haha I just thought to keep my rates low to get more clients. Maybe eventually I’ll raise.
Thank you everyone who commented! It was my first time creating a topic on the forum and I appreciate your support
@Katota "Great comment, I agree disabled women (and men) should definitely be added to the "viewed as easy" lists too."
Thank you. Though I'd say while the latter is also true, I think there are differences in the ways and likelihood. For instance, I've read that in the case of an illness, men have been said to be more likely to leave a partner if the female partner is the one who gets a serious and incurable illness. I know we aren't talking about relationships, though if that's accurate... then I can see how it can negatively show up in contexts like these too. From higher likelihood of viewing women with disabilities as "easy", to all sorts of other things.
What I read also concerns leaving, so who knows what all the other "grey areas" such as cheating, and any emotional or physical distancing one might do prior to leaving count for or how they show up.
Though yeah, it does happen to both, perhaps generally in somewhat different ways. Like an able bodied woman in that kinda situation might try to use the disabled guy for his money or resources.
While an able bodied guy may be more likely* to be focused on using a disabled woman for her body*, although he probably wouldn't say no to more either. Fun stuff... So it does I'd say show up in platonic cuddling, and even friendships in those demographics too. Just likely in somewhat different ways to some extent.
Though there's hope, and potential to meet decent people who are genuinely interested in one's company, no matter one's demographics.
There is nothing wrong withTatsy's pics. It's mind-boggling that anyone would think so. In private I'm really judgmental about women's pics and I don't see a thing wrong with hers. Her smile is just a smile. Her clothes certainly are not tight. Not that it matters what I or anyone thinks anyway. All that is required is to go by the rules.
I can't find all of the replies to my original comment, I haven't really checked out the forums for long and I'm not the best with tech and navigating new forms of social media and I don't have a clue how to reply to comments.
First off I'd just like to say: it is indeed (obviously) not that individuals fault when they are saying they don't want anything sexual and the other person is trying to make sexual things happen, however, in Platonic Touch Therapy training, we are taught that there are people who will try and take advantage and will try and harm us and we should do everything in our power to avoid those clients and we should always, always, trust our gut. Sex Work is the job where you're most likely to be murdered, and a Mobile Cuddle Therapist is putting themselves in harm way in a very similar way, this is not the safest job, certainly if you're not doing it right. I'll again suggest that Tatsy, and also anyone else, finds and does a Safety Course for Professional Cuddlers, I would link one but CC wouldn't allow it. There are some providers who think this information is so vital they offer the course for free.
To address everyone disagreeing with me about my assessment of Tatsy's profile: I still believe my assessment of Tatsy's profile is accurate. Tatsy's been on Cuddle Comfort no longer than 26 days and she's complaining about too many people wanting non-platonic services, this is a media structural issue within Tatsy's business model and you are all doing a massive disservice to Tatsy by saying that tight fitting clothing front and center on her main form of advertising for her therapy business is the right thing to do, a massive disservice to her. The only thing anyone can do when they continuously encounter the wrong customer base, especially when that customer base could be dangerous, is ask themselves:
And that's how you solve that issue. Not by coddling someone and saying "You're doing just great honey!" Because she's here with a real problem and coddling and lying to someone does not solve it. Perhaps all who commented really do think that her photos are fine for a public therapist persona, but then you really haven't thought enough about Platonic Touch Therapy and what it's going to take to move this industry into being recognised as a genuine therapy.
If you had a social media presence Tatsy, and you went somewhere nice and you were in form fitting clothing and you wanted to post that and share that with your followers and potential client base that would be a great thing in your life to share with them, but your main photos on your main form of advertising for your therapy business? Really think about it, Tatsy, do those kinds of images add to your business or are they taking away?
You've only been here for 26 days, what's the harm in taking some cute/sweet/wholesome/funny pictures of yourself and trying those out for the next 26 days? What do you really have to lose? The business that you've had for 26 days that you're getting a bunch of solicitations for sex through?
Wow, that would be a big loss.
@SnuggleBugFi while your recommendation for pros to do training courses is always a good idea, I believe your takeaway regarding how OP is portraying herself is off the mark and is a great example of internalizing victim blaming in our culture. Despite your protests, you are in fact saying that men behaving disrespectfully is a direct result of how she looks in her pictures - else changing her pictures would not make a difference. It sounds to me like you are projecting your own concept of women needing to appear cute, friendly, and non-threatening in order to accommodate men and be successful.
As others have stated, most likely OP is getting the flurry of negative attention because she is a new pro (which bumps her up on lists) and relatively young. Predatory men, in general and online like here on CC, will absolutely try to take advantage of those qualities and cite any reason in the book to excuse their behavior, no matter what she is wearing. It comes down to them feeling entitled to her attention and time, and that is not going to change with cutesy photos. If anything, appearing too innocent or friendly can equally be a hazard - we simply can't win against their "logic".
I highly doubt the training program you took suggested that femme pro cuddlers need to portray themselves as caricatures in order to make themselves less of targets. If it did, then that program needs some serious review as it is undermining the very basis of consent that is vital to platonic cuddling. It also is a disservice to men, that they cannot help but think a woman is a sex worker if she appears remotely like a mature human.
Also, I don't believe any of the above commenters were lying or coddling OP - they viewed her photos and gave their own opinion. Just because their opinion differs from yours does not make them less valid or false. Last I checked, you are not a mod here and her photos meet site criteria, so your personal opinion is not any more weighted than other pros, clients, and enthusiasts who have responded.
How many of ALL of the comments here are opinions and how many are actual facts? I’m not referring to any particular one. I’m just curious about the arguments.