Making friends/cuddlebuddy

cuddybuddscuddybudds
in General

what am I doing wrong 😑
that’s all I keep asking myself when I open this app. It’s been a couple of months, and I have not yet found a client or made a friend even. Mind you I didn’t expect much, but nothing at all on a site that’s dedicated to that exact reason is wild. 😩
Any advice on how to make cuddlebuddys / friends here is very appreciated. Thank you for taking to time read and reach out if you do

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Comments

  • GrayKunzGrayKunz

    I believe there are two rules for making money as a pro here.

    1. Be a female.
    2. Don't be not a female.
  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @cuddybudds I think there might be one thing on your profile that might be off-putting to some women—the term “open minded” has been co-opted by sex workers and most women are aware of that. You might want to remove it.

  • TxTomTxTom
    1. If in doubt, refer to Rule #1 and #2.
  • WarmFuzzlerWarmFuzzler

    It unfortunately does seem more difficult for male cuddle therapists to find clients. Women, in general, tend to have more opportunities for platonic intimacy than men do, so they may seek cuddle therapy less. We're also conditioned to be wary of men which doesn't help. I'm wondering if warmer profile pictures may be beneficial if you feel comfortable with that. A smile can go a long way. It can also take a great deal of patience which can get disheartening.

  • hey_nikkyhey_nikky

    I would also adjust what you have in your about me for prices vs what the site has listed as your fee. They're contradicting

  • BashfulLonerBashfulLoner

    The rules have been shared, beyond that it takes time.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    what am I doing wrong

    You're probably not spending enough time and energy learning.

    Have your studied all the sticky topics on the Professional Cuddling board? And taken all the advice therein? And done a cuddle training course?

    Lots of good advice in this thread too.

  • cuddybuddscuddybudds

    @GrayKunz startibg to believe that

  • cuddybuddscuddybudds

    @TxTom have no idea what you mean by that

  • cuddybuddscuddybudds

    I lowered the price because I figured that’s a part of why no one booked @hey_nikky . Just need to update it

  • cuddybuddscuddybudds

    @BoomerSpooner makes sense . Reason why I say I was open minded is the fact I will cuddle with anyone , idc who or what you are. Male female trans or whatever you feel to identify as . I have respect for everyone as a human being first and foremost.
    But I understand exactly what you’re saying. Thank you

  • AmortentiaAmortentia

    Main thing was pointed out which is that you are a pro here. Meaning you charge people for cuddles. Not saying that is bad or not good to have. But just saying that what will help you more is if you remove that from your profile. We females don't usually touch those profiles. And not many male pro cuddlers are successful unless they cuddle males and females. I've also had two clients who went pro and when that happened I was like sorry we will no longer cuddle. After some time they returned to their normal status and we cuddle again.

    Good luck!

  • HarleyGirlKateHarleyGirlKate
    edited February 22

    @cuddybudds Just wanted to wish you good luck with your cuddle business/path.

    While it seems to be true that a lot or maybe most women, don't seem to need or want to pay men to cuddle them for various reasons--I certainly wouldn't, again, for various reasons--the popular advice, which seems to ring true to me I see on here is that if a man has a good profile, pictures, and so on and expresses a willingness to cuddle anyone as you have then he will have a chance to build up a clientele over time.

    For example, you mention that you'd be willing to cuddle trans people. I have a friend, who is a transwoman and she is definitely touch deprived so far as men are concerned. (I told her I'd cuddle with her anytime she wants; she's my friend and I want her to be happy!) I told her about this site and she said she'd love to be cuddled platonically by men because most of the men she meets aren't interested in interacting with her either platonically or romantically because they don't see her as a "real woman" or they want to fetishize her. She just wants someone with strong masculine energy to platonically hold her sometimes without expectations or judgment. She is also high income (works in tech here in Silicon Valley) so I know she could afford to pay a male pro; I've suggested this site to her and even offered to go with her to a session for moral support, with the pro's permission, on a cuddle, but so far she hasn't taken me up on the offer.

    I mention all of this to say that there are definitely people out there who would buy what male pros are selling. The lack of clients, I think, is often experienced by male pros, whose profile and such are on-point, because they only want to cuddle cis-women. That seems a bit like trying to sell snow in the Antarctic, maybe. :)

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    1) I'm going to echo what @CuddleDuncan said and

    highly suggest you educate yourself a bit more on how to be successful as a professional cuddler, let alone a male professional cuddler which are in the extreme minority and generally held to higher standards as a result. Many people learn of professional cuddling through social media as an "easy side gig" and fail to do their research on what is actually involved.

    As Duncan said, there are a lot of resources available in the Pros Only and Professional Cuddling forums, particularly the sticky topics. Here is a great one to start: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/10997/male-pros-how-has-it-been-for-you

    2) re: "open minded",

    in addition to what @BoomerSpooner said, it comes across as cliché and overly vague. In fact your profile overall says very little about you to set you apart from other cuddlers. Try taking a look at the profiles of some of the other male pros who participated in the thread I linked above - you can get an idea for the depth of information, what to cover, etc., just don't copy anyone's profile.

    One way to instantly make your profile better: instead of using cliched, vague lines say what you mean. Instead of saying you're "open minded", say that you cuddle people of all genders as you said in your comment above. Instead of saying you're "very respectful and kind", explain that you respect everyone equally as human beings first and foremost as you also stated above. Show people who you are with your words rather than tell them.

    As a side note, perhaps nitpicky but can help present yourself more professionally...

    Cleanliness and good hygiene are the same thing so one is redundant. They also are subjective and culturally bound concepts so if you have particular hygiene practices you want people to follow (other than those required by the client & professional contracts), state them explicitly.

  • LovelightLovelight
    edited February 23

    I think your profile is fine as it's right now regarding the "open minded" part.

    I don't see him saying he's "open minded" as anything sexual, especially if he's talking about other non sexual things, and he's on a platonic platform. Unless it's on a dating platform and he was looking for hookups with basically just that as his description. However I'd still make some adjustments just so your writing is overall better written.

    Your current profile description:

    "I would describe myself as being very understanding & open minded. Very respectful & kind, friendly, very humble and down to earth.

    I can get in where I fit in big or little spoon whatever make you feel most comfortable 😌

    *Cleanliness and adequate hygiene are required.
    *Require money upfront as soon as I arrive

    Book more save more"

    Here's my revised version for you to consider. I'm adding random things as an example. So you can take what applies to you, and adjust what doesn't.

    "Hello, I hope you're doing well, and thank you for stopping by to check out my profile.

    I'd describe myself as being an understanding, down to earth, and humble person. I'm also respectful, open minded, and kind towards others regardless of their sex, race, body type, etc. So I hope that by interacting with me you get to see my friendly, and welcoming energy too.

    In my free time I enjoy going to the movies with friends, and sometimes going alone, because I can be a bit of an introvert. I think it's also important to sometimes spend time with oneself to rest and get in touch with ourselves. Given how busy life can be and how fast paced everything can get, I find it really beneficial to take some me time.

    When I'm not do any of the hobbies above, I enjoy jogging, and yoga, which I've been doing for the past 2+ years. In addition, I've a passion for platonic cuddling, which is why I've joined here. *I'm also quite a versatile, and accommodating cuddler when it comes to cuddle positions. With all that said, I hope to get to meet amazing folks who I can hold a welcoming, and comforting space for. Because I understand the therapeutic benefits cuddling can have on the lives of others. 😊

    Payment: *

    By the way, I do require having the payment up front as soon as I arrive, and the more you book with me, the more you can save*.

    If you think we may be a good fit, and would like to talk, I'd love to hear from you. 🤗"

  • bobadevoteebobadevotee

    You’re already leagues ahead of most since you’re willing to cuddle everyone. Kudos to you for being secure in your masculinity and understanding platonic touch is not a gendered practice.

    Remove “open minded” ASAP. It’s a sex work code word.

    As for how to cultivate your profile to appeal to clients, I can’t say due to the fact that I’m a woman and working with different market pressures and different types of supply and demand.

    1. Most women won’t pay for cuddles from a stranger. If I wanted a stranger, I can go out anywhere and ask any random person to cuddle me, and most would say yes. Shit, I get bothered with that even when I’m just minding my business out in the world. For the few women who would pay for cuddles, I have no clue how to cater to that demographic. I have only seen this ONCE when my younger male friend had an arrangement with an older, rich lonely woman, and while they did cuddle… I think they did more as well. So, not something you can really find on this site (nor should you, as it breaks TOS). I say this all not to discourage you but to equip you with a realistic perspective. Female clientele will be an uphill battle.
    2. Men who want to pay for a man to cuddle will likely be your best bet for clients. Cultivate your profile to appeal to that client base. Perhaps reach out to other successful male pros who cuddle all genders and ask what has worked for them.

    If you’re looking for an enthusiast to cuddle with free of charge, they might be scared off by your pro status. If you want to spend time looking for a buddy, you might want to take a break from being a pro for a while. Cultivate the relationship over time. Female enthusiasts are often subject to tons of disgusting inquiries, and end up deleting their profiles, understandably so. You will stand out if you are respectful and kind and engaging. But don’t be surprised if most you talk to end up deleting their accounts somewhere down the line. This site is quite toxic towards women, and I don’t blame any enthusiasts for leaving. They aren’t getting paid to deal with it! 😂

    Best of luck to you, and don’t be discouraged just because you haven’t found someone yet. It sometimes takes 6 months to get your first session.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited February 24

    Female enthusiasts are often subject to tons of disgusting inquiries, and end up deleting their profiles, understandably so. You will stand out if you are respectful and kind and engaging. But don’t be surprised if most you talk to end up deleting their accounts somewhere down the line.

    THIS!^^^👍

    Seen a lot of women delete their accounts elsewhere too, because of most men's terrible behavior within their inboxes (as well out and about on public forum commentary 🙄) Not just here on Cuddle Comfort, nope I don't blame them for deleting and moving on either.😌

    Lol! But I'm a HARDENED STUBBORN CUDDLE ENTHUSIAST!💪😁

    Yes, that's an oxymoron but bear 🐻 with me...😄

    Katota steps up on soapbox with a megaphone/bullhorn/whatever

    📢📢📢 And I'll likely be sticking around here for awhile (Lol! I already lasted 12 months here on CC, ain't that a hoot?🥳😁). I have lasted LONGER then every "so-called male Cuddle Enthusiast" that has slithered into my inbox with their pushy entitlement and obviously disingenuous "compliments" (a lot of them seem to "think" that finding me physically attractive is SUPPOSE to warrant them "MORE THAN cuddling" privileges ...How wrong they are!🙄😏).

    Plus many of these "male cuddle enthusiasts" are quick to deactivate once they see that their entitled "cuddle fantasies" aren't welcomed in the real world. So they go POOF, instead!😏

    Yep, years and years and years and years AND YEARS of blocking🤚, ignoring🙈, cussing🤬 out Dudebros in and out of my inboxes (on those other sites) have prepared and molded me for what is to also be the same entitled behavior EXPECTED HERE on Cuddle Comfort as well, regardless of the word PLATONIC being mentioned over and over on here.😄

    Nah! I'll stick it out here on CC regardless of the nonsense that occurs in and out of my inbox, I focus on the positive side of Cuddle Comfort 👍(which is the socializing part here in the discussion forums, socializing helps to DISTRACT ME from even checking messages in my inbox for the most part. Ha! Lol. Thank ya'll for that.😄) and I shall choose to handle the negative of Cuddle Comfort which can indeed be (YES), the contents of my inbox.😌 Lol! Though I do enjoy the sounds of tumbleweeds blowing within it right now😄...Yeah! It's an acquired sound👂 that I have learned to enjoy hearing (in my inboxes) on various sites elsewhere throughout my years of "internetting". 😜😁

    But NO, as an ENTHUSIAST I'll not delete my account until I'm good and ready😤...Or until CC administration bans me for a rulebreaking violation.😬

    So until then as far as pushy, annoying Dudebros (who clearly have NO UNDERSTANDING of what PLATONIC means🙄) invading my inbox goes: I shall STAND MY GROUND and hold my head high, with a finger swipe ready to block and report said Dudebros (if need be)...

    Yep, Big Luau indeed!👍

    And let the grass skirts sway where they may.😁

    The End.
    😁📢

  • [Deleted User]jms17todd (deleted user)

    @cuddybudds I'm going to agree with what has already been pointed out:

    1. Specify what your "open-minded" means by replacing it with the description you gave boomerspooner. Much better way of saying it.

    2. I am probably a rarity, but if there were a male professional in the area, I absolutely would've started with them. But your profile doesn't sound like you really care, just that you want a quick few bucks. More of your true personality needs to come through.

    3. Find a better way of phrasing "require money upfront as soon as I arrive". To me, as a potential client, that seems rude and off-putting. I absolutely know what you're saying, but it sounds like you're going to walk thru the door with your hand out and expect money before you even smile or take off your coat. Just rephrasing.

    4. The one other suggestion I have is your picture. Nothing about dreads sticking out of a hoodie screams professional or good hygiene, as you request in your profile. Let me be clear, I have nothing against your hair, but you have a GREAT smile and you need to present THAT. Look professional, have someone take a nice, centered photo of you and that will help.

    As they've all said, you're fighting an uphill battle but I think with a few tweaks, you'll be successful. Good luck! (And keep smiling 😊)

  • achetocuddleachetocuddle

    I agree @jms17todd .

  • researchguyresearchguy

    I don’t think I would ever pay to cuddle. I am an old guy now but yet no thanks. In my city, one of the paid male cuddlers is a sex worker, no offense, I just think it’s an odd thing to charge. I like the idea of just cuddling but I doubt most m2m cuddlers are not super into it even though they say they are.

  • researchguyresearchguy

    Oh and pay immediately is a turn off. There is always target. I hear they are hiring. Lol.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @researchguy I hope you've reported that sex worker.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • bobadevoteebobadevotee

    @Katota I’m adding ”don’t yeet unless yote upon” to my daily vernacular now, thanks

    Btw those men do understand the word “platonic” but many men get off on pushing women. It’s sick and disgusting and unfortunately quite common for them to enjoy making us uncomfortable and ignoring when we say “no”.

    Lol I hate it when people act like you need to be attracted to cuddle. I actually had my best platonic cuddles with people who weren’t attracted to me and vice-versa.

  • bobadevoteebobadevotee
    edited March 5

    @researchguy it is an odd thing to charge for. It’s companionship work. I’ve seen people get paid just to eat lunch and chat with a lonely person. Free lunch included. Why shouldn’t they get paid to cuddle, which is way more up close and personal?

    Pay immediately is in the rules of this site. Payment must be rendered before the session begins. He could word it better, though.

  • CelestialTouchCelestialTouch

    Must have had a typo in the script, this is the corrected version...

    The economics of the future are somewhat different. You see, money doesnt exist in the 24th century. No Money! You mean you dont get paid? The aquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We cuddle to better ourselves and the rest of humanity!

  • TxTomTxTom

    You’re already leagues ahead of most since you’re willing to cuddle everyone. Kudos to you for being secure in your masculinity and understanding platonic touch is not a gendered practice.

    I was wondering if this worked the other way as well, since I've seen many womens' profiles that indicate they only cuddle men. Would this mean they are not secure in their femininity?

  • Mike403Mike403

    It really bothers me when I see comments suggesting that men should be willing to cuddle other men. Cuddling is supposed to be about consent and I find it to be a form of manipulation to try to get people to cuddle those that they don't want to.

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    @Mike403 it's not to imply overriding consent... That is still required, and consent that is gained by manipulation, exploitation, or coercion is considered invalid.

    However a lot of the discussion about men not considering cuddling other men is more about how we should examine our biases, especially if they are keeping us from achieving a goal (like getting cuddles). Most straight men don't even actually consider cuddling other men because they're still operating under the cultural programming that cuddling is only done between members of the opposite sex in romantic relationships. They immediately dismiss the idea without ever trying cuddling with male friends or pros. They only seek out cuddle partners they would consider compatible for romantic or sexual relationships, while very few people ever choose their actual friends based off of those criteria. The men that dismiss cuddling other men out of hand are artificially reducing their potential cuddle pool by a massive amount.

    Preferences are absolutely fine, but if they are not serving you or even harming your ability to do what you are wanting to do, isn't it worth examining and challenging them? It's completely different ball game when there is unresolved trauma around interacting with a particular type of person driving the preference, but when it is purely trying to avoid the discomfort of challenging your biases then it's a disservice to yourself. And when you then come into public spheres and repeatedly complain about how you cannot find a partner because you are choosing to not even try a little personal growth, it shoved the problem to the rest of us who have to deal with you.

    This same discussion happens in other communities around biases in dating, work hires/promotions, and even things like movie casting.

    (Note: general "you", not Mike specifically)

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited March 6

    @cuddlefaery - I've seen comments in the forums saying things like "Men who only cuddles women screams homophobia", that's an entirely different animal than just suggesting it to increase their cuddle pool.

  • great_pillow08great_pillow08

    @Amortentia (((NAILED IT!!)))

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