Data around who shares photos and who doesn’t

CiaraBlueCiaraBlue
in General

Hi everyone
I used to have 4 photos on my profile… I’ve reduced it to 2. Most people who message me don’t have any photos and don’t send me one.

Most women share photos of themselves .. I’m curious about the data on how many men share photos?

What does this relate to?… women are used to showing themselves and being seen .. men are comfortable not showing themselves (even to their own detriment on this website at least)

What else is this about?

Curious …

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Comments

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @CiaraBlue Hi Ciara, this topic gets covered in the forums every so often, I’ll cover some points here but if you do a forum search you’ll find even more info on this. Here are my thoughts based on my experience and reading about others on this forum:

    1. I think one of the reasons is that men are more embarrassed to be found out as a “cuddler” than women might be. It might be a toxic masculinity thing society has imprinted on men, who knows

    2. A lot of Pros do not require their clients to have a photo, and only a portion of them require that a photo is sent before meeting if they don’t have one up. So there’s no motivation for a lot of men to even find a good profile picture to begin with if they can still get cuddles

    3. As @CharlieBear pointed out, some dudes on here are just straight immature and entitled. Some are sexual boundary pushers and are trying to keep a low profile because of this

    4. In our society, first impressions are really important for everyone, but our society tells women in particular that how they look is really important. Because of this women might be more hyper aware than men of how they look and might have better habits for having good selfies?

    5. As far as it being a detriment not sharing a photo, as mentioned above men with blank profiles can get cuddles by bring hiring Pros, so it isn’t really a detriment from that lens. Even I haven’t noticed any significant difference in response rate by having a profile picture up vs when I didn’t have one (I started off without a profile picture but still found enthusiast cuddles even)

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @CiaraBlue
    Everyone had their own reasons. Some men may work in jobs where it might be awkward for them if co-workers or clients knew they were on this site.

    Some men may be semi-public figures. Not famous or celebrities, but still recognizable within their community because they have their picture in the news from time to time.

    I can’t speak for anyone but myself. I choose to not put my photo in my profile where it can be seen by everyone but if I am interested in potentially cuddling someone I will send a photo to them.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited March 10

    @sunnysideup Wonderful points, especially about the toxic masculinity part. Yeah that whole "guys don't cuddle less sex is involved" mentality is very much alive in a lot men's minds still unfortunately. 🙄😔

    @CharlieBear Lol!😁 Yeah, I have had my encounters of dudes who assumed that about me too. They would be insultingly pushy😠 towards me about sending nudes to them (which I never do😤) on other sites that I'm active on. 😌

    Another more popular (and usually accurate as they're VERY EASY for me too spot now😉) reason that most men don't post pics (especially FACE PICS) is due to a lot of them being MARRIED and/or involved in a "committed relationship". And they are AFRAID to be recognized either by their wives or by someone who knows about them being married/involved with another.😏

    I have encountered a lot of CHEATERS (in my inboxes🙄) on other sites that I'm very active on, like I said I have learned to spot them very well over the years of internetting.😊

  • VitaminJVitaminJ

    Im the months I have been on this site my opinions on this topic have evolved. As a pro I request a photo be sent before booking, and if they refuse I don’t book with them. I assume it means they have been banned under another account and this means my safety could be at risk.

    If they are married or in a relationship I can see why they don’t have it as their profile picture. There are plenty of discussions about whether seeking platonic touch is cheating, and quite frankly I have just decided to leave that between them and their partner. As long as they don’t try to make it non-platonic then I’m not involved in that part of their life.

    Shoot I have a good friend recently who joined the site and I encouraged him to remove his photo, just so his ex-wife wouldn’t come across it and have fodder for gossip.

    Some of my best cuddles have been with single men who do not have a profile picture and are complete gentlemen and understand that their cuddle life is separate from their dating / love life.

  • sin67sin67

    Hello everyone. I usually send pictures after the first conversation and if they request for it. Don’t want to impose my pictures unless requested for.
    It’s mainly the work environment and the position in the company which makes it’s difficult to publish pictures. Hope you guys understand. Specially when you manage and are responsible for large projects n resource. And, yet want to cuddle.

  • warmnbalmywarmnbalmy

    Adding my experience and insight, here - there are some men who weren’t born with the handsome gene. Shallow individuals have rejected them and no doubt, they come to us with insecurities from a life of bullying and comparison (either by self or by others) to others. I have been told as much by some cuddlees, that they have insecurities and that it’s refreshing to be accepted by someone who doesn’t place looks before character, talent, or intellect.

    If your avatar is an advertisement for acceptance, I could completely understand why a person with a lifetime of criticism about their appearance would elect not to post a photo.

    Even the main photo on my profile is by far not my best photo, as I just don’t want to attract shallow individuals, and I fear for women who put model-gorgeous photos on their profiles, that they might get targeted by more predatory users of this site.

    I draw the line at a completely “blind” session, as I need to know who to look for for a booking, but I don’t discriminate anyone who prefers not to have a photo on their profile, whatever the reason.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Two things that likely factor in to this is that a lot of men on here are in relationships and trying to hide things from their partner , and a lot of women on here are pros and are therefore required to have photos .

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles
    edited March 11

    Hi @CiaraBlue, welcome! The number one reason women have photos on this site is because most women are Pro's who monetize cuddles, and Pro's are required to show a face picture.

    As for why men don't have photos, I agree with @Katota, unfortunately...many men are married and are going behind their partner's back by being here. @sunnysideup also made a good point about men being embarrassed to be on a cuddle site, and @warmnbalmy made excellent points, as well.

    Personally, as a female (ohhh, I said it), I have a few pictures up so people know what to expect before they reach out to me, but they do not include my face. This is because I don't want relatives or previous co-workers recognizing me, as my personal life is none of their business. I have no issue sending face shots to anyone I'm having a good chat with who asks, and sometimes send them without being asked, as well.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

  • LadyVelLadyVel

    It has hurt my heart hearing some of the guys I have spoken to and cuddled feeling insecure because someone else (upon seeing their photo) has turned them down, thus being one of the reasons they wait to share a photo until they have built a little connection.
    😔

  • jplemmonjplemmon

    Personally, as a female (ohhh, I said it)

    NO!!!!

  • Vocalist100Vocalist100

    @CiaraBlue Rather than have a ton of photos posted, I simply redirect potential cuddlers to my FB profile so they can see I'm a real person that's been around (FB at least) 15 years or so. Plus, it's easier to update one social website than half a dozen or so.

  • Backscratch75Backscratch75

    Thanks and good conversation.

    I know I don’t share public photos of profile because my work is forward facing. I am also older and there are a stigmas around people my age seeking a cuddle friend.

    I share my photo with the person I hope to meet and hope for the best I meeting in the future.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I don’t post photos for work related reasons but I always send one in my first message. This isn’t rocket science and if someone can’t share one through private messaging then you should be concerned.

  • SoosonSooson
    edited March 11

    @JohnR1972 Speaking of jobs: ran into pro profile in my area who is an ex-co-worker of mine. I doubt I will reach out to schedule a session =) =) =) .

  • LtkitLtkit

    @LadyVel I loved your response here. Looking at your profile I can see you are a credit to the community. If I ever get down your way I will see if you're available ❤️

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I agree @Ltkit. @LadyVel shines in every one of her posts on the forums with acceptance. She doesn’t judge, she doesn’t stomp her feet about her likes and dislikes about cuddlers even though I am sure she has preferences, and she exudes all the marks of a quality person.

  • HarleyGirlKateHarleyGirlKate

    Yes, I agree. @LadyVel seems very nice.

  • RedFox16RedFox16

    Awesome response @sunnysideup 👏👏 You're always so kind and understanding and seem to be keenly aware of human nature....I thoroughly enjoy your comments 😎☺️

  • Ironman294Ironman294
    edited March 11

    I have my photo up because I don’t have a wife or girlfriend and those are my reasons. Others have their own, I have heard from cuddlers that guys say they have sensitive government jobs so they don’t publicly post, which might explain many things. Too many government workers on the site and not doing any work 😂😂😂😂

  • toolie12toolie12

    All good responses! I’m thinking that I might drop my photo and then just send it to cuddlers that I choose.

  • friendlyhuggingfriendlyhugging

    If i weigh up the pros (more likely to connect with a nonprofessional cuddler) with the cons (privacy concerns), then factor in the reality that there are 20 to 30 male profiles to each one female cuddler (non professional), there's not much point in posting my photo.

  • zactozacto
    edited March 11

    @sunnysideup - love that response - covers a lot of the possible reasons.

    @CiaraBlue - for me, it is just embarrassment. I was born in the wrong place - a really conservative country which subjects women to horrible indignities and shames men for various things. I am thankful that I don't look like the typical person from this country but I am concerned that someone I know from that community finds me on this website - leading to an awkward situation. Thankfully, I no longer have friends from that community, only acquaintances.

    And to be honest since I am able to meet people in real life, I am a bit skeptical of online connections and wouldn't put up pictures or reveal things about myself unless absolutely necessary.

    Edit: There is a third reason as well. Sometimes after sending out a photo, I have gotten the reaction "What are YOU doing in a site like this?" or "Are you a virgin?" framed as compliments. So I would like to avoid those reactions by not having a photo on my profile.

  • MonkeyNeedsAHugMonkeyNeedsAHug

    @katota and @SunsetSnuggles

    Just a little nuance on the topic of cheaters:

    I’m married. My partner knows I am on here and is supportive of that choice. We don’t find platonic cuddling outside of our marriage to be cheating.

    But we are sick and tired of dealing with the judgment of the (enormous) subset of humanity that seems to feel it’s their right to impose their arbitrary definitions of cheating on us. It’s draining.

    So, consistent with both of our preferences, I don’t have a public facing face picture. I do share a photo upon first contact with anyone who does have a profile pic posted. Until society is less judgmental overall, that seems to be an acceptable way to interact.

    Cheers,
    🙈

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    @JohnR1972

    EXACTLY

  • TxTomTxTom

    I'm currently without wife or girlfriend. I post my photo because I don't give a shit crap.

    I'm only human, so sue me.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @SunsetSnuggles

    Personally, as a female (ohhh, I said it)

    Ooooh! Me likey!

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @LadyVel and @warmnbalmy this was also a concern of mine, but truth is there’s no way of knowing for what reason one didn’t get a response back by someone. I’ve also been told time over and over again that women generally don’t value men’s looks the same way men value women’s looks, but these days I’m not so sure about that 🤣. But it any case it’s a nice way to save needless conversation if I can filter them out by just having a photo up

    Also, it seems that even when looking at only enthusiast profiles, women seem to have a profile picture up more often than men do. That said there are still a good number of enthusiast women’s profiles that have no picture up. Why is this? Probably for similar reasons as the dudes, but they also have to deal with the creep factor (being hit on on a cuddle site), so maybe this could be a factor?

    I’ve also chatted with women that are looking for cuddles behind their partner’s backs but they had a profile picture up for some reason

    @RedFox16 Thank you for appreciation! :) Sometimes I think my comments can be a bit too “incel” ish haha

    @Backscratch75 I didn’t think about it but you’re right, older guys have to worry about not looking like creeps, and this is 5x true if there is an age gap.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited March 12

    I’m married.

    @MonkeyNeedsAHug Okay.

    My partner knows I am on here and is supportive of that choice.

    Yeah see, whenever a married/attached cuddler says THIS⬆️ (in their profiles or even within my inbox while chatting) that's when I'll ask THIS⬇️ question in very polite manner:

    "I see that you're married, and I see that you mention your spouse acknowledging that you're here on CC looking for cuddle buddies. Would it be possible for me to speak with your spouse BEFORE going any further please?"

    Lol! After I send this to said married cuddler, usually it's always crickets OR it's some response of "he/she doesn't really want to know what I do outside of our marriage blah blah blah...". Sounds suspiciously like MAYBE their spouses aren't as aware as THEY CLAIM! Maybe!😏🤔

    We don’t find platonic cuddling outside of our marriage to be cheating.

    Good for ya'll, but there are married spouses that DO think platonic cuddling equals cheating. 😚
    Ran into many men that are here because their spouses "just doesn't understand".🙄
    I also have encountered MANY of the same married men/women with same complaint (elsewhere on other sites) "my spouse doesn't understand" OR they'll say that their marriage is "complicated".😌🤭

    Not sure what's so complicated about marriage, but okay...LOL! Marriage is complicated. 🤷‍♀️😁

    But we are sick and tired of dealing with the judgment of the (enormous) subset of humanity that seems to feel it’s their
    right to impose their arbitrary definitions of cheating on us.

    Good to know, although everybody's gonna judge everybody for something. And if I was imposing judgment towards you and the missus, I did not mean to (though judgey can sneak up on me a lot, even though I TRY hard to resist it😜).
    I was merely commenting on the discussion topic at hand (from MY point of view and based on MY experiences when it comes to MOST MEN not posting face pics in their photo galleries😊) nothing more.🙂

    It’s draining.

    Yep, lying married men are also draining. But I'll deal with them on a case by case basis, like I deal with everything else in life that's thrown at me.😁

    So, consistent with both of our
    preferences, I don’t have a public facing face picture. I do share a photo upon first contact with anyone who does have a profile pic posted.

    Okay. Good for ya'll!😊

    Until society is less judgmental overall,

    Lol!😄 Society being less judgmental? It's nice a dream but not gonna happen.😏

    that seems to be an acceptable way to interact.

    Hey whatever works for ya'll, do it!👍

  • KatotaKatota

    I post my photo because I don't give a
    sh🤬 crap.

    👍👍👍

    @TxTom Same here, I also have my face showing on more risqué sites then this one.😉😁

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup

    @Katota you’ve stated my thoughts on married or in a relationship cuddlers well. I’m not comfortable with it myself. Maybe some people are, and there are for sure some pretty unique scenarios that would make it morally okay in my framework to cuddle with some who is coupled up

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