🫂 Cuddling Based On Skintone Curiosities: Good or Bad?🎭

KatotaKatota
in General

I received a message from a cuddler with one pic and ZERO INFO in his profile...LOL!😁
I was going to delete without responding (due to his profile being like it is) but I decided to message back cordially with polite humor instead.😊

Surprsingly he responded back the same way and the chatting was going well...Until I had a couple questions, which he answered them. One question I asked about him being a smoker, he answered NO! Which is awesome🚭😁👍.

Things took a U-turn when I asked this question:

"What is it about my profile, that caused you to message me as a potential cuddle partner?"

His response, was because he's white and he is "curious" to know what it's "like" to cuddle with a black woman...🤦‍♀️😄

It's okay, he's not the first white man to pull
the old "never been with a---" card with me and he won't be the last. It's the internet folks, they're everywhere here.Lol!😆🙄😆🙄

Lol! Of course, my interest level dropped in getting acquainted him any further and I did report him cuz I just don't want MY SKIN to just be cuddled here ladies and gentlemen...Smh.🙄😆🤭

Though I appreciate his honesty with his answer😁, but NO!😑😏

I'm here to cuddle with PEOPLE not their skintones😊, and this is WHY I have chosen to avoid engaging with most who have ZERO INFO in their profiles.🤦‍♀️

Lol! It's my fault, I blame myself instead of ignoring😌...It won't happen again.👍

So question: Cuddling with a cuddler who on certain skintone "curiosities" opposite of THEIR OWN SKINTONE is it a good thing? Or a bad thing? Would you still cuddle with them after finding out the fact, that your skin color was the MAIN REASON they messaged you?😊🤔

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Comments

  • lonelytauroslonelytauros

    I would say it’s a bad thing when it’s the main reason of course you know people are gonna have curiosities, but if it’s the main reason why someone wants to cuddle with you that’s very superficial

  • BashfulLonerBashfulLoner

    I think some curiosities need to be kept to yourself. Intrusive thoughts often need to be buried where they are birthed. I think it's weird or maybe expressing as a curiosity maybe what's weird. I think people are drawn to the unknown is probably normal but it should be shameful for skin color to be one of those things.

  • KatotaKatota

    @lonelytauros but if it’s the main reason why someone wants to cuddle with you that’s very superficial

    Yes, I agree it's very superficial and I'm old to be down with superficial nonsense these days.😏

    people are gonna have curiosities

    Yes, I understand people being curious about something. But people being curious about people who don't share the same skintones, it just rubs me the wrong way these days now... AND IT'S JUST CUDDLING, MY DUDE?!🤯🤯🤯

  • SuperManCuddlesSuperManCuddles

    I have cuddled many people on and off this site that at some point of the interaction told me that I was the first Black person they cuddled/interacted with or one of the few. Some older people (that were around during segregation) have told me that growing up little to no Black peoples were seen. Many moved to cities like Washington DC for jobs, once experiencing Black people in leadership positions or in general, their views on race changed. They saw people as people and skin color was no longer as important to them. I also appreciated the honesty and high levels of trust they had with me. My opinion is that we must all do what makes us comfortable, so even if people tell me that I am the first/few Black person or male they cuddled, would still cuddle if connection is right but don’t blame those who would not.

  • alexloveshugsalexloveshugs

    I can see how that might be weird. Having the only reason be because of skinetone. Cuddle buddies should be someone you would be comfortable around, this could make for an awkward cuddle. He might have been okay, who knows. I am always surprised by the blank profiles. I have even seen some pros without any information about them only a single picture. I can't imagine meeting up with a cuddler without knowing anything about them. Better that you make sure you are comfortable with someone (as best as you can be at least) before meeting. Profiles are important for first impressions.

  • Parad0xParad0x

    Some thoughts are best left in the mind.

  • CuddleDuncanCuddleDuncan

    Curiosity is good. But satisfying it by treating somebody as an object is not.

    I have cuddled with people of various different skin colours. To answer the underlying question, all skin feels the same: it's just the colur that's different.

    Hair, on the other hand, does feel different.

  • KatotaKatota
    edited April 7

    I think some curiosities need to be kept to yourself.

    @BashfulLoner I think so too. 😊👍

    I was the first Black person they cuddled/interacted with or one of the few

    @SuperManCuddles We're you informed of this BEFORE or AFTER the cuddling was over? Lol! Myself I would prefer being told AFTER the cuddling is over...Or just don't tell me at all!😄😏
    Some things I don't need to know, and I am peachy fine with that.😁👍

    Some older people (that were around during segregation) have told me that growing up little to no Black peoples were seen

    @SuperManCuddles I believe that, yes I do. 😊 And I understand that, but THIS GUY is my age...LOL!😄 Yes, he's 44 yrs old. Come on!🙄😄
    That means he grew up in the 80s (hopefully, HOPEFULLY the 90s too😳) witnessing "media integrating skintone memories" like Stevie Wonder dueting with Paul McCartney with Ebony And Ivory, remember that song?😁
    And it wasn't even about skintone, it was about keys on a piano.🎹😎
    Or Kim dating Matthew on A Different World? Or Tina Turner's "wardrobe malfuction" leather shirt tug while singing
    "I Know It's Only Rock N Roll" on Live Aide review on MTV with Mick Jagger...Of course, that likely wasn't a malfunction but you get my point, right?😁😄😉

    @SuperManCuddles I appreciate you're commenting, and I do understand what mean with your comment. 😊

  • KatotaKatota

    Some thoughts are best left in the mind.

    @Parad0x Yep, way in the mind sealed up with cement.😁👍

  • Erin_Elle_Erin_Elle_
    edited April 7

    Definitely seems like a thought to keep to yourself. ☺️

  • KatotaKatota

    Cuddle buddies should be someone you would be comfortable around, this could make for an awkward cuddle.

    @alexloveshugs Exactly, and it would have been awkward for me as well as uncomfortable for me too.😌

  • KatotaKatota

    With that said, this has happened to me before, too. ♥️

    @Erin_Elle_ My heartfelt sympathies to you, most internet people are UGH!🙄😌😏

  • BrionCBrionC

    I think many people would be surprised if they know the real reason that most people wanted to cuddle with them. But don't ask don't tell

  • KatotaKatota

    But satisfying it by treating somebody as an object is not.

    YES!^^^👍👍👍

    @CuddleDuncan That's exactly what it feels like, and that is the exact feeling that I got when I read his answer. HIS answer based off his "curiosity".😌

  • BrionCBrionC
    edited April 7

    People need to realize the world is not perfect and it's not a Utopia and never will be it's just what it is. Every single color on this site makes a judgment as to why and why not they will choose to cuddle with someone we just don't verbalize it

  • KatotaKatota
    edited April 7

    @BrionC Sooo...😒
    I should be flattered that I was being picked to be cuddled based off my skintone alone then. With it not being a "perfect world and all that jazz", right? Thanks!🙄
    Good to know!😌👍

    But don't ask don't tell

    HA!😄 When it comes to those choosing to interact (with me) FIRST in my inbox, I will ask whatever questions I want to ask.😊 It is their decision to not answer (in your words "don't tell") my question or they can simply vanish...In this guy's case, VANISHING would have been awesome!😁👍

  • ExoticLotusExoticLotus
    edited April 7

    Happy Sunday All,
    @Katota ”I have a different opinion that I really wish you could hear me out on. Don’t you think that, no matter how much we claim to be nonjudgmental, deep down, we are often triggered by positive or negative stereotypes? Coming from the Middle East and being born Muslim, I've encountered many people, both personally and professionally, who are simply curious to try or experience being with someone who is different. I've never found it offensive because I appreciate honesty and someone being truthful rather than sugarcoating perspectives."

    Again, I don’t mean to be critical, first and for most we are here to connect and enjoy consensually. I just think human nature is universal, no matter the “different” is skin tone, background, religion or ethnicity. We tend to like exploring new lands!

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    I'd get over it, people have appearance preferences when it comes to cuddling, even though it's platonic. That's why cuddlers have pictures on their profiles.

  • sin67sin67

    Too bad he was truthful. You don’t ask question when you know sometimes you won’t get the answer you want to hear. On this sites we come of all different shades of colours, ethnicity, background, heights, looks, sizes. This site gives us opportunity yo cuddle n experience all of the above. Some are open to express like that gentleman others are not. You can’t report him just because he answered your question. You could have just told him you did not appreciate his answer in way he expressed himself n moved on. Cause I don’t see any intention of that person to upset or hurt your feelings in any way.
    People do ask question here why you want to cuddle with them and I even said once because you are taller then Me and I would love to see what it’s like to cuddle with a tall person. Likewise we all get different answers to our request. We can’t take them as offensive or hurtful.
    I hope cuddlers here feel free to express themselves truthfully and with an open mind. And, I hope I don’t get reported for my answer here.

  • KatotaKatota

    I have a different opinion that I really wish you could hear me out on

    @ExoticLotus Okay...

    Don’t you think that, no matter how much we claim to be nonjudgmental, deep down, we are often triggered by positive or negative stereotypes?

    As an individual I never claimed to be NON-JUDGMENTAL, I finally learned that about Me as a human being. 😊
    Sure stereotypes whether they are positive or negative will always exist. Humans created stereotypes based of their own interacting experiences with other humans.

    I've encountered many people, both personally and professionally, who are simply curious to try or experience something different.

    Yes, but I'm not a something. I'm a SOMEONE, there's a difference. 😊

    I've never found it offensive because I appreciate honesty and someone being truthful rather than sugarcoating things."

    @ExoticLotus Umm, I did say that I appreciate his honesty in my post as well...Even though, his answer was creepy and uncomfortable. 😏

    I appreciate you sharing your point of view on things, thank you.😊

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited April 7

    Man, the gaslighting is real. Pple are explaining to you how you should feel as minority when they've probably never been marginalized , exoticized, and objectified.

    I think we should celebrate our differences and do so without trying to erase them or treat others like exhibits at the zoo. I think the latter is gross and should not be viewed as acceptable - dehumanizing another person is never fun.

    It just goes to show many people have internalized and normalized forms of racism that they keep inside.

    I like what @SuperManCuddles said about how people do change their views once presented with real people and not getting their information from family, media, and their immediate environment along.

  • KatotaKatota

    You can’t report him just because he answered your question

    @sin67 Well I did...And?🤷‍♀️

    I don’t see any intention of that person to upset or hurt your feelings in any way

    Of course you don't SEE any intention, you weren't interacting within said conversation in my inbox between he and I.😊

    People do ask question here why you
    want to cuddle with them

    Gasps! Do they now?🤯

    and I even said once because you are taller then Me and I would love to see what it’s like to cuddle with a tall person.

    Good for you! Good for you!👏👏👏

    I hope cuddlers here feel free to express themselves truthfully and with an open mind.

    @sin67 Yes! Many cuddlers have been doing just that, yourself included. Thanks for pep talk anyway!😉👍

  • wilderdudewilderdude

    @Minestrone101 dont assume. I'm part of an even smaller minority. I'd find that kind of treatment very flattering.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    Can you imagine what kind of comments the invisible woman and invisible man would get?

  • KatotaKatota

    I'd get over it

    @wilderdude I am. Thanks😁

    people have appearance preferences when it comes to cuddling, even though it's platonic

    They do? When did that happen? 😉😄

    That's why cuddlers have pictures
    on their profiles.

    Ohh, so that's why...🤓🤔

  • KatotaKatota

    @BoomerSpooner Lol! Right.😆😆

  • KatotaKatota

    I'd find that kind of treatment very flattering.

    @wilderdude Of course you would, ya little scamp you.😊

  • KatotaKatota

    Man, the gaslighting is real. Pple are explaining to you how you should feel as minority when they've probably never been marginalized , exoticized, and objectified.

    @Minestrone101 Eh? It happens...😁🤷‍♀️

  • Minestrone101Minestrone101
    edited April 7

    @wilderdude Nice minority flex 💪, but I think most don't consider that a good thing. That is bc they're looking at a person like a novelty or spectacle and not as a person. I can't say I'd win the minority Olympics, esp since East Asians aren't the most marginalized group, but Id say it gets pretty hot and heavy with African Americans and Native Americans in the US at least. That's not to be ignored.

    @Katota You keep a good attitude during it all. lol

  • MorpheusMorpheus

    I don’t have a lot of friends by choice. I am a total loner. That being said, I’ve never had a black friend. I’m not one bit racist, I’ve just never had a black friend. A few months ago, my boss hired a new manager who happens to be black. My boss tasked me with showing my him the ropes. We worked side by side for the next three months until my boss set him loose on his own. We developed a great relationship, of course, him being black had nothing to do with how our relationship developed. However, we had many open conversations about race, among other things. It was a very good thing for me to have this relationship happen. I also work with another manager who is openly gay, again, my first gay friend. My life has been enriched and my eyes opened just a little more because of these relationships.

    So, someone asking for a cuddle based solely on your skin color. On the surface, I think that does sound a little odd but at the same time, maybe you’ll have an opportunity to open someone’s eyes just a little bit more than they were before. Just a thought.

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