@LetsCudl @BoomerSpooner @Gracious …. That ego point is little off. But you will have to know me more to understand me.
So what was the gift. Probably not not more than 25$. I was wearing beads, I always do, she loved it, mentioned it multiple times, and I told her I will send her one. Again I would have done this to anyone…..I have special affection for beads they help me
Post session day or two later, We had multiple exchanges how I get the gift to her. She tried asking if it was special etc She don’t even know these were beads.
She agreed to accept it. We talked about sending it to locker PO Box etc…. Also to the hotel where session was hosted, to her friend. All options were discussed in very friendly way on txt. All discussion ended with it required her to give some more information than what I already have which was her phone number and first name. So all good we were in very good friendly terms.
May be hours later, with no options left it asked “Give me some options how this can be done ?” And that’s when suddenly everything got blown out of water. Suddenly form friendly messages things changed to disrespectful French words.
Now - She is angry, that’s fine, I just wanted to let her know, I had no bad Intention nor I will do anything bad. And if I have hurt her I do want a chance to apologize to her.
I also understand her perception is her reality.
Net-Net it’s not ego, nor bad intension it’s just a door shut on me when I wanted to apologize. And thats what hurts.
Hindsight is 20/20, but you could’ve just booked another session and given the beads to her then.
I’m really grasping here, but maybe she thought that solution was obvious too. And maybe she thought your strong commitment to finding a way to get her this gift was to continue personal contact without booking another session.
Also, if you kept the nature of the gift a surprise, that uncertainty may have made her a little uncomfortable. Next time, if someone asks what the gift is, you could help eliminate the uncertainty. Just say it’s some beads (or inexpensive jewelry), but you’d like to surprise her with the color and style.
@SarPat2005 it sounds like what started out intended as a gift became a lot of work and she was feeling pressured. Tone can be lost over text as well, so your question could have been interpreted as more demanding if she was already feeling on edge.
Instead of getting more defensive and trying to over explain yourself, try sitting back and absorbing some of the advice being given here. It's not being given to insult you or knock you back a peg, but because many of us have lived similar situations and learned the hard way ourselves what doesn't work well.
Again, I suggest taking it as a learning experience and as others have mentioned, if gift giving is particularly important to you then either plan in advance to bring it with you to a session as a tip or book another session in which you can give it to them. That way you can enjoy the act of them receiving it in-person as well and see how happy it makes them. Or, if you don't have a particular gift in mind, consider asking something like "I'd love to gift you something as a token of my appreciation. Is there anything in particular you'd prefer to receive?" That way they have the option to suggest something they'd be more comfortable with, like a digital gift card, etc.
I’ve never gifted a pro. I’ve bought them food if we’ve eaten together or paid their way if we’ve gone anywhere. I have however, been gifted by pros. One pro gave me some of her raver bracelets for example. I think that’s a raver culture thing and thought it was a sweet gesture. We had an overnight session and I had to go to work in the morning so I left her and let her sleep in and shower in my hotel room before she left. This was on an out of town trip. When I came back from work, she had left the bracelets on the night stand in the room with a cute note. I think that was totally acceptable and not overly personal.
Dear @SarPat2005, few things she probably new to this. With phone number, picture and name you can get a lot of information if you want. However you didn’t do that as respect to her. She failed to understand this but this doesn’t make you right either.
People make decision in heat of moment, texting in delicate matters, people loose context and incorrect perception is created. You can’t do much about it now. Lesson learned. @snugbuddy , @cuddlefaery , @LovenLight have great suggestion and they can empathize more.
Is block justified, may be not, but her perception is her reality. Little slap on wrist would have been OK. You two could have still remain cuddle buddies.
Issue as I see it is not a gift nor a block. It’s you were not given a chance to explain yourself.
@Lmux wrote, "... people loose context and incorrect perception is created."
This is so true. I'm not happy with myself about it, but I think I recently did this to someone I was texting with. I apologized but I still feel a little bad about the whole thing ...
If you’re texting I often send a Starbucks gift card via text no name needed. Just something small to wake up to if the person enjoys that