What happened to the fly on the toilet rim?
It got pissed off.
LOL, that's a rather sophisticated dad joke.
"I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
Why did the old man fall down the well? He couldn’t see that well.
Why was the monkey crying ? Because his banana split Hah
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman
I quit my job at the helium plant last week. I refuse to be spoken in that tone of voice.
I used to date an astronaut. She said she needed more space.
I’ve learned not to argue with a girlfriend while in an elevator. You end up wrong on so many levels.
Do drivers of EVs listen to AC/DC or do they prefer something more current?
What do you call the security guards outside the Samsung store??
Guardians of the Galaxy
If Apple designs/builds a car...
Will it have Windows?
A local festival featured a hot dog race.
It was weiner take all.
Someone: Do you know where Polly went?
Me: No but i know polygon... Cause she's a square And she's not a round.....
How is my wallet like an onion? Every time I open it, I cry.
Also, unrelated… Can someone explain to me how to do the spoilers on the forum?
At my age it is really nice when people give up their seat for me. Great on the bus but creepy in the mens room.
We need to repeal the law of gravity. It's a law that keeps people down.
2 beavers walking in the woods. They come to a rushing river, one beaver turns to the other and says "Dam it:
What did Elvis say to his landscaper? Thank you for the mulch!
Oh @MajesticMango 🫣 @gem7 at least they warmed it up for you
@MajesticMango: for spoilers, click on the drop-down between italic and emojis, then select spoiler.
@Falco
THANK YOU 🥳
Why should you never take sides in an argument at the dinner table? Trick question. It's the perfect time to take sides because no one's paying attention. Bring Tupperware.
What did the sick pita sandwich say?
I falafel.
I used to work at a Helium Gas production factory. After I left my former boss spoke very highly of me.
Where do rainbows go when they've been bad?
To prism, so they have time to reflect on what they've done.
What’s the name of the knight who started a food delivery app?
Sir Charge
What did the computer mouse say to the keyboard?
You’re just my type!
Ferris wheels are great at networking. They always circle back.
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