still hurts when someone deletes without warning

Melancholy

Been on here over 6 years now. This isn't a complaining post, just felt like venting and sharing this simple thought.
Despite the fact that I know every time you start conversing with someone new there's a real possibility that they will simply vanish one day it still seems to hurt a little bit. I think its the permanence of it that feels bad.

Bear

I understand this feeling very much. There’s another app. I’m on that started out as a friendship app. People have just up and vanished. No warning or anything. I’ve had to learn to deal with it.

SunsetSnuggles

'Tis one of the pleasures and pains of the internet. Unlike "real life", we can "delete someone", or "delete ourselves", with the click of a button.

Just know that when this happens, it may or may not have anything to do with you. People get paranoid, have family emergencies, mental breakdowns, job losses, move states, there is so much more going on in everyone's lives than what's on our phones...it is often the first to be cut out, when things get tough. 📵

But yes, it is still sad and stings, to realize a friend is gone. I have been remiss of late, but a policy I often employ to lower this risk is to share, or request, some other form of contact, with those I care about. What that avenue may be is totally up to their comfort level, or they can decline. But having someone's e-mail, or another app to connect on, can help. 🫂

~ Sunset Snuggles

🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

Morpheus

@Melancholy I’m still here old friend

WestsideMarc

New female enthusiasts get inundated very quickly here, and despite the site’s thoughtful actions to sometimes temporarily pause one’s ability to message them when the count is getting high, they get overwhelmed and jump ship anyway.

It happens.

cheeseboy

@WestsideMarc - the enthusiasts becoming "paused" is actually due to their account being suspended for pro upgrade when it comes to light that they're trying to charge for sessions without being an approved professional.

WestsideMarc

@cheeseboy Actually, yes, that’s exactly right. Thank you for the correction. I used the wrong terminology.

What I meant to say is that I have seen messages that state something to the effect of - this member is receiving too many messages at the moment we want them to feel comfortable….Please try back later.

I didn’t know what that term was called.

SunsetSnuggles

@cheeseboy
I believe @WestsideMarc was referring to the throttling of PM's. I'm not sure when all it is applied, but I know as a new user, you are limited to how many PM's you can send, and supposedly the number slowly grows, over time. I've also experienced what he's referring to, where you try to PM someone and get a page saying the person is receiving a lot of messages right now, and to try another time.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🫂 Enthusiast 🌄 Travel Junkie 📸 Shutter Bug

cheeseboy

Ah - I haven't run across that yet, but I'm also not messaging new members frequently. I can see how that would be frustrating and -poof- they disappear or abandon their account when you had a conversation going.

Melancholy

@Morpheus heheh

SeekerInVA

@cheeseboy I’ve noticed that happens a lot.

Additionally, I had someone make specific date/time plans to meet up while she was an enthusiast only to become a pro afterwards and suddenly charge for that same time. I declined.

KuddleKingg

Happens most of the time with new user’s especially after having great conversations

TheFunCartel

This happens everywhere on the internet. Until you come face-to-face with someone, you are engaged in counting chicks before the eggs are hatched, putting the cart before the horse, or any other cliche one can apply to this situation. I consider everyone a boogeyman until I meet them.

UREverything

I say we all delete sometime this month just to see if the thread takes off like a rocket!!! Huh, what do you say... Whos with me!!!!???

Carrie_Anne

Manage expectations until it’s real.

starrynitecuds

I don't take it personally when online "pals" go away. People grow. They move on. We are but ships passing in the night.
Back in July, I quietly deactivated here and utilized secondary communication methods for select people.10/10 will do again.

jps76

Met someone here earlier this year. We had a great connection and a lot in common as we went to college in the same major city and had similar expectations. We had a great session too. Then she deleted her account. I tried texting her, but I guess that was a burner number or internet-based number like Google Voice.

Bummer.

Will accept sympathy cuddles.