Capitalism and Emotional Labor

Mike102

Is charging for emotional support, such as professional cuddling, an example of capitalism commodifying human intimacy and exploiting loneliness for profit, or is it a legitimate and necessary service in our increasingly disconnected world? Does this practice empower individuals to take control of their emotional needs, or does it perpetuate societal structures that prioritize monetary transactions over genuine human connection? Where should we draw the line between meeting emotional needs and turning them into a business?

-almost anything in this world can be viewed as exploitation

-every pro here will say their service is legitimate

-necessary is going to depend on the individual…people make adjustments between what they think they want and what they actually need.

-to be empowered means not being a slave to your desires

Jubal

is charging for emotional support, such as professional cuddling, > an example of capitalism commodifying human intimacy and
exploiting loneliness for profit, or is it a legitimate and necessary > service in our increasingly disconnected world?

Both can be true at the same time. Commodifying for profit can be completely legitimate

biancalovecraft

Outsource your parents lingering death to a hospital or hospice worker nobody blinks an eye.

TxTom

When everyone has the right to pursue whatever work they need or want, and everyone has the right to choose whatever products or services they want, such as in capitalism, then it's legitimate, and everyone is free.

When we don't have these rights, that's when the majority of us become victims of exploitation.

Cessna_guy

@Mike102 would you say the same about a psychologist / therapist?

warmlyhelena

Since you bring it up, there's something to be said here about chronically undervaluing emotional labor. Why is it continually expected to be done without any benefit for the person performing it? I don't subscribe to the idea of martyrdom as a virtue. I believe my time and energy has value.

Katelyn_B

Charging for cuddling, massages, talk therapy, companionship (looking at you Victorians), and so on seems fine to me if there are people who want to provide that service and people willing to pay.

I think if there is line to draw we should each draw it for ourselves.

For me, the line I would not want to cross is trying to use paid platonic cuddling either as a client or a pro to try to establish an emotional connection or meet a need outside the scope of that modality. Just as I wouldn't try to meet my relationship needs with my LMT or hair dresser for example.

Mike102

@Cessna_guy I'm not saying anything, I'm just asking about this because I've heard this opinion off site and thought it would make for a good discussion. I think if we are all on this site we wouldn't view professional cuddling and unethical, but what would you say to someone who does

Mike102

@HarleyGirlKate do you think this parasocial relationship ever happens on this site, in which the cuddler forms emotional attachments ?

Solaris

I'm not speaking for everyone here. But I know I'm not alone either in feeling this way.

It's heartbreaking to me that so many people grew up, were formed and shaped, in environments without love, nurturing, and guidance.

And so you either find these things in your adult relationships, or you have the option to pay for them. It would be ideal if we could all just find the love, nurturing, and guidance we need. But many can't. Or sometimes the price of finding it in our personal lives is too high.

So I'm glad that people have the option to get something rather than nothing. I'm glad there are people willing to provide that service. I've booked with a few pros. And there's one I return to every few months when I really just need some support and comfort. I'm glad she's here for me. I'm lucky to be able to afford it. If I couldn't, I might feel different. But I would never draw a line for two other consenting adults.

Katelyn_B

@Mike102 @HarleyGirlKate do you think this parasocial relationship ever happens on this site, in which the cuddler forms emotional attachments ?

Yes, I do.

TheFunCartel

@biancalovecraft 🤣🤣🤣 So true!

TxTom

...does [commodifying human intimacy] perpetuate societal structures that prioritize monetary transactions over genuine human connection?

No.

The availability of Pro cuddlers has no bearing over my pursuing whatever genuine human connection I want.

However, my choosing in how I prioritize things in my life does.

ReltvlyCanshes

@Mike102 yes it is. All of those things, both negative and positive. Now you can only decide how you feel about it. It's not much else to say, things that are necessary are most often turned in to leverage for someone's gain. Money grows on trees so we spend it on the most useless things, it's also scarce so we have to make decisions in order to have it for things we feel are necessary.

Runawaycuddles

In my view it's not about it being either one or the other, the capitalistic structure is just so deeply embedded in our existence that we have no choice either way, all we can do is try to survive it all. 🤷🏼
We live in a world where every part of being a living, breathing, human being costs something, and with this deadly monopoly on existence itself, everything inherently has a price tag on it.
And yeah, it's horrific, cruel, inhumane and the purist form of insanity possible in this world, but it is very much the reality of life for everyone trapped in this system.

Generally on here when people try to debate on whether charging for cuddles is "right" or "ethical" or not, people tend to gloss over the fact that any system of government or any society built based on the idea that charging for ANYTHING humans literally need to survive is genuinely fundamentally very, VERY, weird.
We've just normalized to it, so the ridiculousness of it all tends to only really strike us as weird in fringe cases like cuddling, which can lead to people feeling cheated or like the pros are "exploiting loneliness for profit".
Because seriously, anything can be described that way if you want to.

So for the debaters out there, think of cuddle pros kinda like emotional massage therapists. 🤔
Could you vilify massage therapists, saying "they exploit people's bad backs for profit", sure, you could look at it that way. You'd have to do a handstand for an hour then tilt your head to one side and squint to do it, but you could.
Buuuuut people are gonna look at you like you're absolutely out of your mind if you say it out loud.
*Cuz everyone knows that getting mad at people for working jobs to survive in a world where you're forced to work to survive is some clown shoes kinda logic 😂

Mike102

@Runawaycuddles I agree , and I like your analogy about the emotional massage therapist. Its fits the discussion better then a healthcare worker one

TxTom

Life is not free. Nothing in life has ever been free.

Even way back in the embryonic stages of human society, life cost you time and labor. Everything you needed you had to provide for yourself. You "purchased" what you needed with your labor or you "purchased" what you needed with your time learning the labor.

Whether that was foraging for food, planting crops, raising livestock, mending clothes or shelter... it was a full-time occupation that didn't allow for much leisure.

With bartering came conveniences. You could now "purchase" things you wanted by trading the products of your own time & labor for the products of someone else's time & labor.

You no longer needed to know how to produce something for the benefit of procuring it.

Later on, the advent of precious metals & currency only excelerated and magnified these benefits.

The ability to spend our labor, time, or money on something that we need or want has brought incredible freedom, leisure, and wealth to human society.

I don't need to know how to fly an airplane to travel somewhere far away. I can simply purchase a ticket. I don't need to understand human anatomy to benefit from treatment. I can simply pay a medical practioner. I don't need to know how to raise cows to eat meat or consume dairy. I can pay for these things.

These systems have not only allowed us to survive, but to thrive. The idea that it's

horrific, cruel, inhumane and the purist form of insanity...

is completely untrue.

Not only are we not "trapped," we enjoy conveniences, peace, and prosperity that couldn't even be imagined by the vast majority of people who have ever lived on this Earth.

TrialKing

Cuddling much needed service it saved my life after my divorce I can attest that it's not exploitation but an experience.

gingerroot

@Runawaycuddles calling it weird is an understatement

Carrie_Anne

An amount of effort must be made to have mostly everything we want. There are many kinds of effort or currency, some tangible, some not.
And what’s valuable to one may not be to another.
Why is it so difficult for some people to understand that we’re each different and that’s ok and we don’t all want or need or dislike or reject the same experiences.
The forum here is a great display of these similarities, differences, expectations and variations.

TheFunCartel

You "purchased" what you needed with your labor or you "purchased" what you needed with your time learning the labor.

Or you “purchased” people to do the labor for free. People forget this part. This is what makes it inhumane and weird.

TxTom

The basic economic premise is still the same.

From a purely economic perspective---ethics and the inhumanity of the evils of slavery aside---slaves come at a material and labor cost to the conqueror who enslaves them, or to the slave owner who purchases them. There's cost to maintaining minimal sustenance for the slaves, or there's cost to replace the slaves that die.

With the exception of the recent increase in illegal human and sex trafficking, slavery was, fortunately, eradicated from this country.

That is not the case, however, in many parts of the world today, where slavery still exists.

TheFunCartel

From a purely economic perspective---ethics and the inhumanity of the evils of slavery aside---slaves come at a material and labor cost to the conqueror who enslaves them, or to the slave owner who purchases them. There's cost to maintaining minimal sustenance for the slaves, or there's cost to replace the slaves that die.

Oh woe to the slaveowners. They were so brave to incur those costs. Rolls eyes.

TxTom

Oh woe to the slaveowners. They were so brave to incur those costs. Rolls eyes.

I wasn't "woe-ing" anyone. Economics is logic, not emotional pearl clutching.

This is why it's almost impossible to have any kind of serious conversation on here.

TheFunCartel

This is why it's almost impossible to have any kind of serious conversation on here.

Why? Because people disagree with your -isms?

And economics is not pure logic. Get 1000 economists in a room and you will hear 1000 versions of logic.

You pay for food, and water, and housing and medical care. Why should cuddling be any different?

Remember, this site started out without pros. And it rapidly became obvious there were nowhere near enough female enthusiasts for all the male enthusiasts. CC could have made a "no pros" policy, in which case a lot of guys wouldn't be getting any cuddling at all. Would that be ethical?

When something is believed to be needed, and especially when it is hard to obtain any other way, you end up paying for it. Simple supply and demand.

Bear

All medical professionals charge rates for what they do, at their own price point.

So do emotional support dog trainers.

That’s all capitalism.

TheFunCartel

Charging for anything is by definition a form of capitalism. So I don’t think this topic is an intellectual stretch by any measure.

Mike102

@TheFunCartel sorry if this is a dumb topic for you, but you dont need to be rude. Do you have a better topic suggestion that we can talk about? Unfortunately I have autism and had learning disabilities as a child, so I understand why someone as smart as you wouldn't like this topic. But you should provide constructive feedback and a new suggestion

TheFunCartel

@Mike102 Not rude. Stating a fact. You seem to cherry pick what you believe to be rude by people you take a disliking to. That is rude. Stating that a topic where the answer is obvious as not being a stretch is an observation.

Rude is also tagging people and calling them rude without any basis other than you didn’t like the answer to the question posed or an opinion they gave.