It is clear (from this and previous threads) that a significant minority, if not a majority, of problem clients don't know what the word 'platonic' means. Given that a lot of these people won't even read a profile when directed to, there is no hope of them looking something up in a dictionary. So for the benefit of any lurkers who fall into this category ....
2.a. Of love, affection, or friendship: intimate and affectionate but not sexual; spiritual rather than physical. Now usually with lower-case initial.
2.b. Of a person: that feels or professes platonic love; that has a non-sexual relationship.
OED (my emphasis)
@theCuddleDrgn
I used to ask cuddlers to define platonic…many acted confused or offended. I took out the question…but i do want to understand why asking someone a basic question like that should be offensive at all. And if it is, i feel like its a red flag?
They are confused or 'offended' because they don't know the answer. They find this threatening and respond negatively or aggressively, because they perceive it as an attack. Which it isn't. I wouldn't call it a red flag, but it's definitely a bad sign.
I am a person that sees nothing wrong with SW. I know a lot of women who do it. I don’t care what 2 consenting adults do in a cuddle session either. But I do not like hearing about men doing what they want to a woman that maybe isn’t as able to speak up for herself or is too timid or just plain scared to or has to repeatedly say no over and over again while the man tried to convince her different. Cause what I see in my mind is my 20 something yr old niece having to put up with that and that makes me angry. I can handle my own self not every one can. It makes me angry to hear about the woman pro here last year who’s client came back to her house announced while her kids were home and rapped her - in which she was too afraid to call the cops or report him here even because he threatened he’d come after her children.
I can’t speak for @brownglucose but I found out about them in the Pros Only forum here a few years ago. One of the Mods posted info about that happening on other websites (but never named them). Someone PM’d me the name of one of them. I don’t share that because I don’t encourage the behavior of men using abusive behavior as an accomplishment.
@CuddleDuncan but why perceive it as an attack when its just a simple question? Why is it offensive to provide a definition? The reaction still confuses me. The only reason I settled for removing the question was because I ran into people who have language barriers, which is a valid reason to not be able to answer.
@CuddleDuncan but I guess part of me also feels like theres a perspective i am not understanding….maybe it is offensive? I just don’t feel like someone should feel offended by anyone wanting to feel secure and safe.
@sage91436 ok I appreciate the response since some will not miss an opportunity to label such questions "victim blaming". Your response reminded me of stories I used to hear from an ex-girlfriend from her days working at a nursing home.
I have been advising pros not to host a first-time client at a single-family home and also perform minimal vetting. I've also heard from pros first-hand of boundary pushing and clients leaving without paying. I know some of these incidents go unreported due to off platform bookings.
@CharlieBear , are escorts illegal in America?
@Sooson see I differ I don’t think it is a pros vs. clients thing. Those aren’t the 2 sides. It’s innocent pros being harassed vs boundary breaking clients that don’t know what No stop means. Not all pros not all clients just those that don’t take no for an answer and that keep pushing.
And how do some of us pros know what’s being said on telegram and reddit and discourse and other platforms I can’t mention here… because the same men that are on those threads are also taking screen shots and sharing with us pros and others. I have even been invited to join some of those threads before. I did join one once briefly and was sickened by the “stickies” notes at the top that explained how to basically trick a non sw pro into doing more with in a few sessions with her. Mostly I saw them sharing profiles of women who are SW … the bothersome part is the predator comments on how to coax a girl who isn’t a sw. Maybe I’m part of the problem because I can see a difference but to see so many other men not speak up when it’s the later being talked about it’s where I see the abuse.
@theCuddleDrgn we need a proper psychologist to answer that properly. It is a simple, straightforward and perfectly legitimate question, and there is nothing at all offensive about asking it.
But there are a lot of people out there who will never say, "I don't know". I suspect it's all to do with feelings of inadquacy, and perceiving ignorance as weakness ... which they are too scared to show because of the feelings of inadequacy.
So they have to respond in some other way, and being 'offended' is a nice passive-aggresive way out of the situation. Or at least it seems so to them.
@cuddlyDavid As far as I know, if an escort is offering sex, it is illegal in almost the entire US, minus some counties in Nevada. I have no idea what the legality is when there is nothing sexual offered.
Edit: Though judging from the profiles on sites I see reported, it seems to be incredibly easy to find an escort that will do what you want. We ban a lot of profiles that are linked to those sites. It doesn’t matter if the pro resides in a location where it is legal though. Anyone that we can prove is offering anything sexual for money outside of the site will be banned here. It’s just part of the terms to become a pro here.
@theCuddleDrgn Thank you, because you were one of the few people to preface your opinion with qualifications (ie “some” people, “some” intentions are predatory). There are plenty of reasons (pretty obvious ones too I think) why two people embracing each other could desire more consensually. It’s not “whataboutism” for anyone to give their own personal opinion (what the op asked for) just because predatory behavior is decreed as “the new thread topic”.
@skamander19 It is whataboutism to say "whatabout the women" when the conversation is about men pressuring women into sex. That's what the whataboutism is. People who ignore the current topic in favor of casting blame in a completely different direction, whether warranted or not. When people do that, that's whataboutism.
@CharlieBear you know how it works here in the US. They will go after the poor street workers that will offer back seat action for minimal amount of money but those who visit the businesses travelers in hotel suites and charge $500-$1000 an hour are practically legal.
@CuddleDuncan valid! Def need some academic expertise for a question like that. Ty for being so responsive!
@Sooson Ha my knowledge of that is only what I have seen from movies.
@IronLemon No, nothing in the op said anything about “pressuring” women. Soliciting someone (asking to do something) is not “pressuring” women (“all other things being equal”, as in there is no prior informing of personal boundaries). Nothing was said about anything being done that is non-consensual. YOU inserted that dynamic into the question. The website may say “platonic”, but again social cuddlers are not obliged by the TOS.
Flagged by a member of the community and reviewed by a moderator. Keeping intact but everyone that uses this site is bound by the Terms and Conditions of the site. [CharlieBear]
@skamander19 The title mentions frisky clients so anyone that solicits anything sexual of a pro on this site is at risk of being banned, regardless if it is consensual or not. Same goes for pros.
@skamander19 You do realize that sometimes conversations go beyond the original question, don't you?
Withdrawn
In my early days a client tried to claim that platonic means anything but sx. Another said you can hug me for 3 hours or earn the money a lot faster. One was well reviewed, one was a newer profile. You just never know. It seems when I was new that sort of thing and other issues came up more. I worry for newer cuddle providers and those who have this as their sole income.
@CharlieBear Someone basically said those rules don’t apply to 2 enthusiasts in a non-transactional mutual cuddle (paraphrasing). Can you clarify? Just curious. Thinking of this being a platonic cuddle site…
I think that applies to the fact that what consenting adults do is there business and it is @g_w_t_w_ but how dies that affect the rest of us?
@ReltvlyCanshes Of course, that part is just a given because the Mods aren’t there supervising.
@CharlieBear But I have a clear question, if it’s a platonic cuddle site, does that apply to only Pros/Clients because $$ is involved and that’s illegal or is platonic behavior expected of all interactions, even between 2 Enthusiasts? I just want to know, do the TOS that Everyone agreed to intended to actually apply to Everyone?
I’ll be honest - when I saw the title of this thread my first thought was clients that eat cat food or love cuddling their pets. 🤷♂️
There are a lot of threads about pet cuddling….
Never heard frisky used in the context of the OP.
@CharlieBear “On this site”, I agree. As the proprietor, CC does and should have the right to control interactions ON CC. But the op was talking about soliciting “someone FROM…[CC]”. The op did not specify that the solicitation took place ON the website. Professionals could be continuously obliged to the TOS, but I have seen nowhere that shows that social cuddlers are.
@IronLemon I am not obliged to accept “how the conversation changed” to retroactively validate me answering the question as written. Ie it doesn’t become a fallacy (of misdirection), because I was never obliged to accept anyone else’s direction.
@skamander19 Sorry, it wasn't clear that you were talking about something other than what other people were talking about at the time.
Well I explicitly referred to the op question in my first reply. I did not tag anyone else.
There's a level excitement to convincing someone to do something they otherwise wouldn't for money or whatever. There's a whole porn category dedicated to it, no surprise it happens.
@Auroradream are there cuddlers where this is their sole income? I suppose that's possible, always thought of cuddling professionally as a niche gig, with sporadic work.
@skamander19 Your first reply I didn't have a problem with. My whatabout comment was about a different reply. Scroll up a few comments. It was your second reply, where you called it a "hypothetical problem", that I had a problem with.