Why don't more women sign up on dating sites?

LiviuMarin

Hey, I'm not asking for this site (it's not even a dating site)... I'm asking in general... Why don't more women sign up on dating sites??? It seems as if the ratio of men to women is 20 to 1 even on a decent one like POF or okcupid. Even worse on others. Why is this? I want your opinion and state your sex/country please. Thanks.

Morpheus

Women are pursued enough in general that many of them have no need to be on a dating site. You should try rentafriend Althoughbits advertised as a pay for a girls time site, there are a bazillion girls on there and most of them waive the fee.

I think there's a combination of reasons, including the following:

1. Women feel less safe on dating sites, and often get sexually harassed (I know I have on OkCupid), so they prefer meeting people in offline situations and having the assurance that their friends know the person and can vouch for their character

2. Women often prefer taking relationships slowly, whereas dating sites tend to accelerate the intimacy - not just physically but emotionally, as you have to decide pretty quickly whether you want to date someone or not in that context

3. Women are often happier being single, as they can get a lot of their emotional and affection needs met from platonic friends and family relationships, unlike men who don't get much touch from friends

4. Women's sex drives seem to operate a bit differently to men's, so that women are not as easily aroused and are often more content with not being sexually active when not in a relationship (though when in a relationship they can often have just as high a sex drive as men)

I would also argue that while many women do get pursued more in their daily lives than men do, it hasn't necessarily been my experience. It could be cultural though as I've seen a documentary where the women remarked that Australian men rarely ask women out. Also circumstances may mean that someone spends a lot of time at home (e.g. people who work from home) or work in industries dominated by women, and may rarely meet single men.

POF and OKC are "decent"? BWAHAHAAA!

a/s/l?

@chococuddles. I agree with you ok POF & OKC. They operate ethically and fairly, respecting all people. The clientele of both is largely straight, but both ate openly respectful and of service to members of the various LGBTQ etc World as well.

There a whole handful of "dating" sites that are flagshipped by Adult Friend Finders. In their fine print, buried in the middle, they confess that they create some profiles, complete with photos, that are placed for "entertainment purposes." That's code for the fact that a majority of the women and many of the men profiles have no real person behind them. And the use robots to approach members (I think mostly men) to encourage messages and texting that boost the fees associated with their "free" site. Most of these sham accounts come on really strong to men in email many have very suggestive profiles, and the robots offer sex if only you would text them (purchase credits).

I think most men see through scams like that, but others may truly believe that there are droves of beautiful women desperate for attention and random sexual partners. While this kind of thing exists, I think it does harm to our sisters, daughters an woman friends by suggesting behaviors and attitudes that are not prevalent in the real world.

cuddleYouMe

Yeah, I've noted some profiles on some dating sites which seemed fake and/or to send out fake messages. That's really bothersome to me, as it baits people in, especially if the site is pay to use/message. It should be illegal (for the owners or those affiliated with the site) to create such fake profiles as they are essentially scamming people.

LiviuMarin

Thanks for all the replies, I need other people's opinions rather than just sitting here alone and speculating.

In my personal experience... yeah, pof and okcupid are the better ones... the rest were either almost empty (including inactive accounts) not worth using (asking for money or not being able to see who was last online, so you wouldn't know if the person was inactive) or just plain fake and full of bots... that's my experience. Tinder is... meh. More for attractive people who want one night stands. It's only good for women.

1. I guess I gotta agree... a lot more creeps on the internet including me.
2. I would say that it's flawed logic in some way whereas I understand where women are coming from but I don't wanna argue here
3. totally agree on that, pretty unfair but that's how nature is can't change human nature
4. again totally agree. It's actually concerning how much women can just live their lives without any man. It almost seems... sociopathic.

In australia everything is upside down so what do you expect, haha! Hmmm maybe I should go there.

Chococuddles if you know better ones, you are more than welcome to share them with us... or are you keeping it all to yourself? haha.

totally agree with greybeard, been on it once, adultfinder should just straight out be taken off the internet for false advertising. It's all true, fake women profiles, shamelessly asking lonely desperate men for money.

Also sorry to tell you but I think a big chunk of men do fall for them, I seen one guy first hand. He couldn't figure out some of these fake profiles... I mean if the scams didn't work, they wouldn't still be around so many years!

Deltapng yeah it's illegal indeed but unfortunately the police can't be bothered to go chase after them since they see it as a waste of time. The only times where I heard the police take action is against pedophiles and when big giant companies ask the police. I.e. when megashare was taken down, and american police made some illegal moves.

thanks again for the replies guys, I gotta reflect on this.

BlueIris

@Marine_90 So you pose a question to women. You get 4 replies from men, and only 1 from a woman. And you think that's a sufficient sample size on which to base an opinion?

Women can get men so easily that it is a joke, because it's way more physical for men--kissing, hugging, holding hands, sex are our needs. Women desire talking much, much more. Maslow's Heirachy of Needs outlines that physical needs come before mental or emotional, so women will always be able to be paid for being a girl, get asked out frequently, work or not work...their choices are so limitessness that it actually makes them bored easily, even nuts, and overwhelmed at times. Bottom line is an ugly poor girl has it ok in this world. A hard working man, working class with good looks, still has it very hard. Society nary allows women to be homeless. Men are just disposable.

I don't think any dating site is "decent".

OKC and POF are widely praised because they are free. OKC has at least tried to include various preferences and orientations while POF is stuck in the stone age. Both are overridden with bots and fake profiles encouraged for upsales and increased usage.

Although I graze POF and OKC out of boredom and curiosity I prefer niche and specialized sites. What works for me probably won't work for others and vice versa.

Get in where ya fit in.

Maslow is largely considered to be outdated. Fyi

sometimes

Maslow's hierarchy clearly includes safety and security among physical needs, which are ranked highest among the women who've posted in this site. The expanded revised hierarchies developed later affirm safety needs as well. It's inaccurate to characterize women's needs as mere desires, and as desires to talk--women's primary concerns are safety and security. Feel free to look this up.

A lot of people talk about how it's so much easier for women in dating, but it's actually true for gay men too. Anyone who dates men will have an easier time than anyone dates women (including lesbian women).

sometimes

Most of the women I know who signed up on dating sites left because of negative experiences. This is what they've told me.

A quick search confirms this and eerily mirrors women's reports on this site.

http://time.com/819/this-guy-attempted-to-find-out-exactly-how-hard-it-is-for-women-to-online-date/

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/comments/1r41o1/ladies_who_have_used_okcupid_what_was_your/

My point is women get men instantly no matter what. Old, fat, crazy, poor, even with a bad personality, and you can get men. Men get women only if they have money. I have been a nice guy my whole life. And all the advice books tell me to be more dominant, meaner, aggressive, but that's not me. I can't be fake. We can argue the why's forever, but that won't change anything. I just can't be a jerk or Alpha Dog. I am too chill. I am just a working class stiff, and my kids are my life. If that means no girls, oh well. I suspect all the men with my same problem are either working class (no money to spare) and/ not aggressive.

pmvines

@alaskaman this is a platonic cuddling site, not a place to pick up women in the first place. And if I'm being truthful, you are projecting yourself in a bitter, jaded manner that is only going to work against you if you are trying to make any reasonable connections with women on here.

IMO the reason is this: women on those sites, just like men, find low quality people usually on those sites. A woman who is truly vested in internet dating will look at higher quality more serious places that are not cheap. Places like eHarmony, Match.com, etc will usually have higher quality people searching for others simply because they're more vested in finding the right person and are willing to pay for it.

Free dating sites are FULL of sleazy people of both genders, where often they use the site as a back up to Tinder or something.

Also what Sunflowerfield said is absolutely NOT true. Every persons sex drive is different and just because one of those people happen to be a woman doesn't mean they have a lower sex drive. This is a myth.

The same goes for the idea of women wanting to take things slower and being happier single. I am not happy being single, and I know plenty of women who also aren't happy being single.

I freely admit I could be wrong, as I have no hard evidence to back up those claims. It's just the impression I get from my own life and observing women around me. Most trans women I've come across report a reduction in sex drive when they go on hormones and testosterone blockers, and most trans men report and increase in sex drive once they go on testosterone which indicates that hormones and gender probably do have some correlation to libido. Having said that, it doesn't mean it's true for everyone. There are women out there who have VERY high sex drives and love lots of casual sex. And yeah it's also not true that all women are more content being single, though among the people I know the men seem a lot more desperate to find a partner than the women.