So theres a pro cuddler who I met a while back. We've become somewhat friends. Found out shes on this site. I understand that being sexually aroused during a session is fine as long as it is not acted upon. However, I've grown attracted to this certain pro cuddler as in wanting a genuine relationship with her. I'm also aware that cuddling produces oxytocin which is a hormone involved with emotional bonding between two people. I've tried to see if my attraction to her was just oxytocin, but its been a couple months since my last session with her and I still have those feelings towards her.
I haven't told her anything about my feelings and I'm still maintaining our platonic friendship, but I wanted to hear the community's opinions on this situation. I joined this site understanding that its not a dating site (nor did I have any intentions to use it as such) and pro cuddling is a therapeutic service. However, how should I go about this situation?
@Americanboi76 ... what is your pro cuddler friends, relationships status , ie ..married , engaged , not in any relationship ?
My pro cuddler friend is single. She is not any relationship.
When you say that you joined this site understanding that it’s not a dating site , you seemed to have a hang up , that , if you pursue this then there is some consequence . Forget about that . You said you met another place . Your memberships here are incidental .
Go for it .
Even though this is a site based around plstomic cuddling , sometimes feelings do happen, nothing to feel bad about . Means you are human. The site owner has no interest nor intention of fighting human nature. They don't want this to be used as a hook up site , which is not the same as forming a friendship and it organically evolving into something else
@Americanboi76 Some links that may be useful:
(Blog) Help! I’ve Fallen in Love With My Professional Cuddler
(Video) What if I have feelings for my Cuddlist?
Both of them suggest just talking it out with the person you're cuddling. I guess there's a risk that the person will respond negatively, but generally I think professional cuddlers are aware of the possibility of someone growing attached to them and would be open to talking about it.
Can you share your experience of emotions around cuddling? It’s so intimate and I am struggling with whether or not I will be able to experience regular human intimacy without having romantic feelings or feelings of attachment.
I’d like to get started with snuggling and at the same time, am concerned about becoming romantically or emotionally attached to someone.
I’m fearful to get started because I don’t know if I’ll be able to cuddle without hopes of it turning into something more. This is absolutey something I’m comfortable discussing with a potential snuggle buddy, but would love and appreciate anything you can share about your experiences or suggestions.
This is from your profile, "The opportunity for cuddles without relationship committment helped me to realize that what I do truly want and am ready for again is a relationship. ".
So, I'm not sure what to tell you except that human touch, the kind you get when cuddling will release hormones that only amplify the feelings of love and bonding. If you decide, as in your profile, that you are ready for more than just cuddling, then go for it. If you find a cuddle-buddy who is like minded, maybe you'll end-up as an item!
If you don't want that, as it sounds in your post, then you need to decide that and be clear with yourself. If you want to buffer the impact on your emotions, ration-yourself. Wait longer visits, or don't visit the same person twice-in-a-row. This will allow your emotions to settle between visits.
Good luck with your decision and your cuddling!
@SnuggleBuggler "am concerned about becoming romantically or emotionally attached to someone"
That was one of my concerns too before I first started, but it vanished pretty quickly after I actually started cuddling.
There can be a lot of affection and intimacy, but for me it feels like it's in a different category to romance. That's something I really love about it actually. It's so nice to have an outlet for affection that feels entirely safe and with no confusion about what the relationship is. (It can help to cuddle professionals because they have probably thought through these kinds of issues).
There's a question about platonic relationships in the new FAQ under Cuddling, and one about attachment and falling in love under Professionals.
@galowglass & @respectful Thank you both so much! I will read those resources and am already so grateful for all I am learning. I am amazed by the openness and insight expressed by members of this site and feel like I am in the right place, as I learn more anout myself, the community and look inward.
Thank you again!