Just found this study on touch... Touch heals - Um, duh!
http://www.cbc.ca/beta/news/health/touch-soothe-rejection-1.4363121
Your friends are lucky to get to know such a warm and friendly person who isn't afraid to show affection. I'm jealous!
I got an unexpected hug from a stranger yesterday. I went to the beach for a walk and noticed a woman and her daughter walking their dog. The dog looked very much like my dog Missy who passed away almost 2 months ago. So I struck up a conversation with the lady about her dog and about mine who had passed away. We spoke for quite a long time before going back to the carpark where I gave her my dog's old toys for her young dog to play with. And we talked at length some more in the car park. Before we parted company she gave me nice long hug, which I was totally not expecting, but much appreciated. (She said she could sense I needed a hug.) I could do with that on a regular basis in my life, but I lead quite a lonely existence. It's not nice to read how situations like mine are actually bad for your health, worse than smoking 15 cigarettes a day apparently. I'm on meetup.com and have signed up to a number of groups. But so far I've not formed any friendship connections with anyone through those groups. You see those people too sporadically, as I or they may not always show up to the same meetup event. How soon do people typically exchange phone numbers these days to make contact and catch up outside of the original group setting where they met?
Makes me so happy to have sites like this one normalizing physical touch & cuddling! We want a closer, more connected society? Let's create one!
@Frankincense-- I've found that having a therapist I see regularly helps.
I also joined multiple meditation groups (sanghas). Volunteering may be a good way to meet people as well.
One thing you can do, if you like someone, is approach them first (versus waiting). If you're waiting for things to happen to you, it may never happen, but if you put yourself out there, then you may start to get the connection you desire. Of course, this is where rejection may come in to play, as I have experienced quite a bit of rejection or hesitancy on the part of other people I've interacted with. All you can do is keep trying until you build a social network that supports you. It's hard work and it sucks to break free of your old patterns, but it's extremely rewarding.
Keep putting yourself out there and trying all the things in life you're interested in trying. Maybe try things you're on the fence about! Once you find things you enjoy doing (that are social), then you're bound to interact with those people more regularly. It may take quite a bit of time, and it may suck as you go, but over time (a year or so), you'll see a difference.
Best of luck to you!
@corgilove Volunteering could be interesting. I think actual clubs (as opposed to groups from meetup.com) might be a better way to go too, because I'd probably get to meet the same people on a more regular basis, rather than sporadically. I do need to figure out when it's the best time to ask for someone's phone number or give them mine, rather than just leaving the social interaction to the club or group setting. I know rock 'n' roll dancing, but maybe I should learn something new, like ceroc. Still, I think my biggest problem is that I seem to be "too different" from other people. Here in New Zealand, many people are into rugby, cricket, boating, fishing, alcohol, drugs, and/or cars. I'm not into any of those. Most of my interests are individual pursuits. I think I've just got to find the right clubs where people with similar interests are most likely to go. (And then put myself out there and be pro-active too, of course.)
I tried to pet my friends, but they won't heel.
Haha @tallteddy, nice!