New clients and safety

jonnyquest

If this topic has already been discussed then please ignore.. I was just curious and wanted to get opinions about pros, clients and safety.. At the end of the day we're meeting a complete stranger online so safety is paramount for both parties.. I've had pros that if you were going to be a new client for them they would request a video call.. Just as a way to get to know each other and maybe see if both of you would be comfortable with a session.. I've had pros request that the first session be a public session, I have no problem with that as well as a matter of fact I kind of like having a first session be in public.. But recently I came across a profile that made me wonder.. For their safety( at least that's what the ad said) they requested 20% down for a session and a photo of you holding your ID.. A deposit is a big maybe for me, but there's no way I'm going to show a complete stranger my driver's license.. At best I might show my LinkedIn account.. But the only way I'm going to post a photo of me holding my driver's license( I assume that's what she meant when she posted about an ID) then it's only fair if she's willing to do the same. I'm all about safety for both parties, but this right here is a bridge too far.. So am I overreacting? Or am I correct in saying that a request like that is a little risky?

DevviDanito

If the person has a lot of positive reviews, I’d say it is probably safe to offer a deposit. If they don’t have that, assume it’s a scam and end contact with them. As far as a license, the same applies. If you think they have nefarious intentions when it comes to your identity, and they don’t appear to have many positive reviews, assume the worst and act accordingly. Your wellbeing comes before any transaction. I think a video call followed by an initial public session is a perfectly safe way of vetting someone, and if they don’t want to do that, it would raise some suspicion.

Ultimately, your safety comes first, and withholding something that belongs to you in the first place is not overreacting. It’s your choice what you do with your money and your identity.

CuddleTherapy70

Having started as an enthusiast and switched to pro, I will say I ask for id. Actually was suggested by an enthusiast female to me. The reality is that both pro and enthusiast females are assaulted. I will not discount that a male can be assaulted but it has not been brought to my attention. I allow for blocking of all info on ID with exception of complete name. Now if you would require the same from me, that is fair.

As for deposit, pros often get cancelled on last minute and esp if traveling that can get expensive. I mention in my profile that I require a deposit. However, I do know cuddlers that have been scammed by this move as well.

Sadly, none of this would be an issue, if everyone had integrity and this site was used only as it is meant to be. Alas the net changed the game. I am open to suggestions as I am always updating my vetting policy.

Happy cuddling.

Lara

Briblossom

I require an ID (with address and # info blocked out) for my client files, because I need to ensure my clients are consenting and legally existing adults over 18. I do also show clients my own ID, because this is a legal service, and I'm not trying to hide who I am. You show your ID to health providers, when you buy alcohol, when you go out to a club, to get a Costco membership, etc. I have had a few people refuse to send it, and that's totally their prerogative, they just can't book with me if that is the case. There are definitely providers on the site who require little to no information, so I think there is a provider for everyone out there.

I require a deposit for first time clients if I'm traveling to them, but not if they come to me. I have gotten to a city before and the client didn't show at all, nor tell me they couldn't come. If I'm paying $30 in gas plus two hours to get to a city, I think asking for a small deposit to cover that if they bail is acceptable. Once I've met someone, deposits are no longer needed. If something like this feels uncomfortable to you, and you want to book with a provider who has this policy, ask them if there is an alternative available, such as you driving to them. There are also providers who don't require deposits.

MeltMyWay

I only ask for driver's license if I can't be certain they're over 18. I've only had to ask 3 times. And I just ask they show me in person at beginning of session..

But every cuddler has the right to ask for what ever it is that makes them feel safest and you have the right to decline using their services.

JessAZ

@CuddleTherapy70 hey there maybe I'm naive, but how have some pro cuddlers been scammed when they ask a client for a deposit? I am new on here, and need to make myself aware of all the worst case scenarios as a caution 😊

CuddleTherapy70

@JessAZ
I was actually saying the opposite. The client was the one scammed. Which I believe was part of jonnyquest's concern. There are sketchy pros, just like sketchy clients.

jonnyquest

@CuddleTherapy70 I use Beenverified to do background checks on the pros I have sessions with for the first time.. That might sound a little extreme to some people but at the end of the day I'm meeting a complete stranger online.. And if you go to places like Trustpilot or Reddit you'll hear great stories about this site but you'll also hear some horror stories about clients getting robbed, blackmailed etc by pros..

Suzie_Q

I don't think you are overreacting and I don't think the professional cuddler is out of line. I just don't think you are compatible if that is a nonnegotiable for you.

However you can always ask if you can show your id with your address and I'd number covered.

People have different screening methods.

Myself I have heard horror stories so mine is real name and number, or picture of id with part of it covered if need be, though I will forego screening if the person has lots of karma.

But it is always okay to say you don't think it would work for you. I have told several people myself that I do not think we are compatible based on them not being comfortable with my requirements.

And that is okay on both directions.

cuddlefaery

https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/14373/meeting-somebody-from-the-internet-safety-precautions/p1

LilyAnneNova

A lot of karma doesn’t mean anything. The worst experience I’ve had so far, he had the most karma of anybody I’ve met.

@jonnyquest if the client isn’t doing anything wrong, how exactly are they being blackmailed? Do you do this background check with or without the pros knowledge? I feel that’s extreme, and definitely not ok if you do it without their knowledge. What exactly do you look for? I feel a background check would provide far more information than you have a right to know. And not necessarily tell you whether they are “safe” to meet or not.

I feel like I should be able to ask for an id if they are coming to my home, but all I request is a recent photo because I do not wish to share my real name unless I’ve built trust with them over multiple sessions. If I’m going to a hotel, I let somebody else know the hotel and room number.
I require a travel fee up front because one of my first experiences was a guy that completely wasted my gas and time. As soon as I got there he asked to pay after the session. Then when I said no, he magically couldn’t pay anything…

wanacuddle85

For me, the scariest thing is that people host from their homes.. I understand not wanting to pay for a place to host, but in all honesty, I will pay the $200 for a hotel room to know that there are how many rooms on this floor and when I start screaming somebody’s coming.. it boggles my mind, frankly, is the new pro I was naïve and I did let people come to my house now there is absolutely no way.. I’d rather meet on mutual grounds where their safety for both of us anybody starts screaming somebody’s showing up at the room.. 200$ well worth it. If I’m guest I have 3 people watching my location.. maybe I’m paranoid but I feel like the world can be an awful place. The majority of cuddlers I’ve met I’ve been very lucky and they are safe and respectful and caring loving people, but it takes one bad apple. Luckily my only bad experience was in the hotel. I used my mommy voice and I said you have five seconds to get out of here before I start screaming.. it’s worked well for me. So I don’t really require ID or anything crazy but that’s because I have safety and numbers. Lol

LilyAnneNova

@wanacuddle85 that doesn't work if I have one client that wants one hour... then I'm out $100 instead of making anything