Anonymous stalker

Melonie91

I have had a very strange and alarming experience that started from a pro cuddle request. The cuddler did not have a real name or picture on his profile to allow me to find out his real identity. Long story short this person would continually message me but never actually book, classic time waster. I have a legitimate side hustle that involves me periodically booked at a particular place of business within my local area. Each time I would get sent to this location this same time waster would message me here with the same BS. It would always be on the day that I was sent to work this job at this location. I started to wonder if there was a correlation. Finally one day this person came out and asked me if they had seen me working at this location? This led me to piece together the fact that my suspicions were right this person saw me in real life each time I was sent to work at this job. I believe this person is an employee at this business but I have no way to try to figure out who they actually are. This place has lots of employees working there at all times. Every time I go there I am looking around trying to figure out who this is. This coupled with the fact that twice earlier this year I provided my hosting address to a first time client and was stood up. I have since been paranoid that it is the same person. If anyone has experienced this as a pro or has had anything similar happen to them I would appreciate any input that you may have. I do feel that this site needs to support us more with matters such as these.

cuddlefaery

Mods are part time volunteers who act on user reports - there is no way for them to know there is an issue unless there is a report.

If you believe stalking is happening, that is a matter to take to the police. It's unlikely they'll "do" anything on an initial report, but it starts the documentation process. Document everything, do not engage with the other person no matter what they say. Take screen shots, save copies of messages, report them to the site, and block them. If they message you off site, do the same thing - don't engage, document, block. All that documentation can then be used to build a case with the police department. Engaging with them in anyway is reinforcement in their mind - doesn't matter if it's negative attention, it's still attention.

RAINN has more resources on how to protect yourself. As someone who has had multiple stalkers (not from the site), the advice is invaluable. If you make yourself as difficult and unsatisfying target, they either move on or escalate, which allows law enforcement to step in.

cuddlefaery

As a side note: if you are hosting from your home, it's usually a good idea to meet them somewhere publicly nearby first without giving them your actual address. Meeting at the Starbucks down the street allows you to better check their vibe face to face before you allow them into your home.

There's a lot of great advice on vetting best practices in the two Pro forums. You may be able to find something you didn't think of before there.