When to take the hint (Pro keeps ghosting me)

Dcuddler4U

I met this really nice pro a few months go, had one of the best sessions ever (for me, she said she enjoyed it but now I question it).

We met again a few weeks after that, and she said she really enjoyed spending time with me. I generally don't let these things go to my head. I know a service person might just say that to be nice or to get a repeat customer, that's fine, but I assume she'd only say that if she wanted to see me again. (If she didn't want to see me she could just say 'thank you bye')

So I asked her a few weeks later when would be a good time to cuddle, she said, I should just let her know what time I want to come over, so I gave her the day/times. Day came and went and she never responded. Maybe two days later she apologized saying she was busy....okay. I told her she should let me know when is a good time for her... and I haven't heard from her since. That's almost a month ago.

She has been on the site, since then, so I know she's not hurt or hiding out.

I would really like to keep seeing her but I feel like if I keep asking her for time, then I'm being a creep. But at the same time I don't want to give up on a person I enjoy spending time with, when maybe this really is just bad timing/communication (mixed with my general anxiety and insecurities).

Suggestions?

Move on my friend. Best for both of you.

@Dcuddler4U I would try one last time. Sometimes, people do get busy, and especially in this community, it’s hard for enthusiasts to remember that pros deal with dozens of clients while we enthusiasts deal with one pro.

So it’s possible the ghosting is unintentional. If you really found a good cuddler, I would try really hard to not lose that. While it’s true that there are “plenty of people that would take your money”, having to build a new connection with someone else and learning to communicate with them and earning each other’s trust is not easy.

As a pro, I do get super busy and sometimes completely forget to message some people back, even my regulars and ones I really enjoy cuddling with.

Try sending one more message saying something like “hey 👋 hope all is well with you! I have a few days here and there coming up that could work for a cuddle session. (Insert a few days and times that you want). Do any of these days work for you?”

If she doesn’t answer this time, that’s your sign to move on.

Yikes.
As a pro, someone with a full time career and still needs my own time for me, YES, getting busy is a thing. I’ve gone several days or weeks without responding as well. Even if they are in the back of my mind, it’s helpful when they keep reaching out because sometimes they catch me in a down moment and I can give them my full attention.

Even if you see them as active on the site, that doesn’t mean you’re being ignored. Sometimes I come on here just for forums and don’t even look at my messages.
And full disclosure, the messages pile up at times and having the bandwidth to engage can be overwhelming.

Appreciate how you point out you don’t want to be a “creep”. You should mention that in your follow up message and ask the pro to let you know if they would rather you NOT request sessions anymore. That way there is clarity. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the suggestions.

I don't understand the "yikes" bit but I will probably do what @GroundingLight suggests and just says I don't want to be a creep and if she would rather I not request anymore.

If anyone else wants to chime in please do, I will not be acting for sometime (I am busy too).

I've had cuddlers suddenly respond out of the blue six months... nine months... even a year after I had sent them a message.

Move on, yes, but you don't have to lose hope. And don't take it personally.

Just end your message with a friendly, lighthearted "hope to hear from you."

But I wouldn't mention anything about "being a creep." To me, that's just odd.

As long as you keep your two or three messages friendly and brief, you've done everything you can do. The ball is in their court now.

Another good point.

I guess I'll try again in a few weeks (I'm busy right now so I don't have a lot of flexible time).

Personally I'll leave a message asking if they're available on a particular day, and if not to let me know what day or days it would be available.. If say a week goes by and I still haven't heard back I'll leave them another message and after that it's on them.. Even if this is their full-time gig I understand they have a life outside of this.. So I may leave a message or two but after that it's on there.. And if they don't want to see me again then no harm no foul..

Thank you @jonnyquest , I that's what I did. I figured why wait? I know what the answer is I just don't want to admit it to myself. I gave her two dates and asked if she would want to meet on either of them, crickets. As stated no answer is the answer.

It is what it is. Thank you all for your insight.

You can most certainly move on without giving up on trying if you both genuinely liked each other and had chemistry.

@Dcuddler4U I usually try to ask for a 72 hr grace period for me to get back to clients. And also sometimes I just need longer than that because I have other priorities as well and sometimes my brain just needs to buffer.

Like everyone else said:

Leave your preferred DAYS of the week, possible dates or future dates, and your preferred time, as well as multiple window times as well.

And then also mention your disclosure that you dont want to come off as persistent or a creep but would love to cuddle with her again. And if she does not want to, then state if youre no longer interested, please let me know and I wont take offense.

She doesnt have to offer you a reason for her no, but simply communicating that is leaving that window of opportunity for her to show up for herself if she chooses to do so.

But as long as you leave the door open respectfully, that's all you can do. And yes, in the meantime, I would look for others too.

@Dcuddler4U No response is a response. You've done your part and communicated your interest to book a session with her again. I understand she is your favorite, but I suggest being open to meeting other Pros. Why not have more than one preferred Pro. If she does respond a few months later with her availability, would you decline? I know it's disappointing when someone doesn't respond in a timely manner, but you don't know what is going on in her life outside of this platform.