I had a Pro reach out to me recently and ask me to book a session with them. It seemed a little distasteful, since they were asking me to spend my money on them. I'm curious to know others' thoughts on Pros reaching out in this manner.
@tristan406 there is a great forum on this topic already, not sure where it’s is and I’m too lazy to search lol However, to sum it up, pros should NOT be reaching out to you first. You should report that. UNLESS….. you’ve viewed their profile or sent them a message first. Doesn’t sound like you’ve messaged them first so if you DID view their profile then they probably made the next move by sending you a message. Hope that is somewhat helpful… 🤷🏽♀️ I’m sure someone way cooler than me can share the forum link with you 🤗
@GroundingLight thank you! I looked but couldn't find a thread. Must not have looked well enough 🫠
Edit/ps; I'm used to people reaching out after I view their profile. This person approached me unprompted, which is why I thought it was weird
Tristan, hate to split hairs, but did the pro ask you to book a session, or ask if you were interested in booking a session?
And +1 to @GroundingLight comment about viewing the pro's profile first. If you did that, then it's ok for her to message you. If not, then report.
Yeah it's annoying
@tristan406 yea I was trying to be cool and did actually attempt to look for it too but didn’t see it. I know it’s there!!!! Ahhhh you can always look at the rules I suppose for clarification. Sorry… And @Jubal I’m not positive but I don’t think it matters how it was approached but just the fact that the pro reached out first unprompted may go against the rules… DONT QUOTE ME THO! 😬
Unless I visited their profile first then yes, it is extremely distasteful. I mean many of the female pros say how they want to get a slight sense of you before booking so when this happens without even a passing interest in what you are about it raises red flags for me. If you are empathetic to women’s safety on this sight I think it comes across as doubly distasteful because they are raising the same red flags as some men who just want what they want without any connection whatsoever. Reaching out unsolicited makes me feel like I am on a meat market e-mail blast.
I have an issue with this because I've had multiple clients book with a few local people that do this when they first joined the site, and then they had bad experiences with them. If you viewed the profile I think it's fine if they message, because some people want us to reach out first. But if you've never viewed them, it's not okay.
I have reached out to people on the site first, but never to ask to book. It was always because they had something cool in their bio or they said something I agreed with on the message boards.
The only time I have ever reached out first to someone is to compliment them or mention something interesting I read in their profile.
Hey Tristan! I actually clicked on your profile after seeing this post and realized that about 10 days ago, while I was visiting Michigan, I had reached out to you after seeing that you'd visited my profile. I'm not sure if I'm the Pro you're referring to, but if so, I certainly didn't mean for my message to come across as distasteful or make you uncomfortable in any way.
It's actually pretty standard practice for many of us Pros to reach out after someone visits our profile. When I do, I like to introduce myself, share a little about the type of cuddle experiences I offer, and let them know about my availability and any specials I might have going on. It's simply an invitation to connect if what I offer resonates with them.
I'd say about 60% of my clients have come from me reaching out first, and the response is overwhelmingly positive. So many people have actually thanked me for making that first move! Some are shy, some aren't sure how to approach a Pro, and others just appreciate knowing there's an interest in connecting.
Of course, I completely understand that not everyone likes being approached first, and that's perfectly okay too! There's never any expectation or obligation to respond or book a session. I just wanted to offer a little perspective from the other side, and if it was my message that prompted your post, I hope this helps you understand the intention behind it. 🫂
Hey @Jubal, their wording was, "I'd love to talk and potentially schedule a session with you if you're interested." So I'm not really sure how to take it. They didn't ask directly but it was still a little off-putting since I didn't visit their profile first.
@MeltMyWay No worries, it wasn't you! Like I said, I'm used to people reaching out after I visit their profiles. That's normal and usually appreciated since the majority of the time y'all are very friendly and polite. I do understand following up after a visitor views your profile. I hadn't viewed the profile of the Pro who contacted me which is why I thought it to be a little sus.
Anyways, thanks for the replies everyone. You guys are awesome and I love this community 🫶
@tristan406 I wouldn't be too off-put by a pro inquiring in that manner if you had visited her profile first. But yes, since you hadn't visited first, then it's a violation of site rules whether you were interested or not.
I really don't see the problem!
I don’t mind it. It happens sometimes if I viewed their profile. Nobody has ever been pushy or inappropriate.
@TheCheshireCat me either
Pros should not be reaching out first unless you viewed their profile or if you message them first obviously!
@tristan406 Worth considering that you may have accidentally clicked on her profile without realizing it which would’ve shown her that you viewed her profile. I don’t know any pros who would reach out without someone first viewing their profile because that’s against site rules and could be reported.
That said, her message to you seemed very casual, totally innocuous, and non-pushy. I wouldn’t spend much time worrying about it. You’re free to just ignore the message if you’re not interested.
Wow. I just can't bring myself to spend the energy to be put off by an unsolicited solicitations. Yes, it's against site rules, but personally, it doesn't bother me at all.
I get solicitations constantly. Car insurance and window replacement offers in my mailbox. Ads on YouTube and TV and radio. Ads on billboards while driving down the road.
I simply ignore most of it, while simultaneously not getting irked. So, can't one just ignore unsolicited DMs from Pros?
But instead, like me, you might be happy for an unsolicited DM after that DM results in a wonderful cuddle session that, otherwise, wouldn't have happened.
@tristan406 I feel the site does quite a bit to cultivate and encourage an atmosphere that is inclusive and accommodating for all members, especially those who are not interested in cuddling transactionally. I know there are measures in place which specifically address soliciting and just things in general which may detract from the experience here. Still sometimes, people may behave in one way or another that is different than what may be expected or desired. It often sparks curiosity within me as to why that may be the case but regardless of the root cause, be it lack of knowledge or experience, misinformation, etc., I do accept it and try not to take it personally.
I hear the other other pros who cited that reaching out and engaging after their profile had been viewed was the catalyst for connection and I second that wholeheartedly.
Wanted to share though, that even though I may initiate or engage in conversation I am %100 ok if that bid for connection on my part is not met with returned interest or conversation. Sometimes I am met with no response, while often the door is open for real connection or cuddling. I have zero desire to make anyone feel pressured or uncomfortable and also zero expectation or entitlement to a specific response or level of engagement.
At the root of it I find it hard to believe that a pro reached out to you with any intention of coming across as pushy or being distasteful. I would also wager they might be quite embarrassed if they happen upon this thread.
So if you are asking for others' thoughts and opinions, mine would be seek first to understand and give grace where possible, if only for your own internal experience.
✌️ 💖
@tristan406 I've heard from others about Pros reaching out without someone visiting their profile first, sometimes pretty abruptly. I've even talked to a Pro who admitted doing it because she didn't realize it was against the rules. So I know it happens!
I just want to validate your feelings because I feel like some responses here are dismissing your experience. You have every right to feel uncomfortable, question it, or report it. Especially if they didn't even bother introducing themselves! I can see how that would feel cold and transactional.
I'm sorry that was your experience. Hopefully, they'll see this and realize there's a difference between making someone feel welcomed and making them feel solicited. 🫂
Good morning, CC Community!🙂
Chiming in from sunny San Francisco!😍
It feels like the majority sentiment here is that people don't like when a pro "initiates" contact with a potential customer. Of course your feelings are valid ... everyone's feelings are what they are.🙃
For me, I appreciate when a pro or an enthusiast reaches out to me! Whether it's after I've peeked at their profiles, or just out of the blue. I think it's human to be curious like that. I just feel it's okay.☺️
At the same time, I don't want to be spammed for business, but I love and appreciate all gestures for genuine connection.🥰
For me, an initial message removes the pressure of having to "make the first move" ... especially after I've visited their profile.😅
I get that some here consider uninvited messaging like solicitation rather than a natural conversation, though.
At the end of the day, it often comes down to the actual tone of the message ... whether it feels like a carbon copied, artificial sales pitch or a unique and real effort for human connection.🤖v💖
Wouldn't it be great if CC had an indicator on our profiles distinguishing between those who are open to being messaged by folks seeking genuine human connection and others who prefer to keep their "Please Do Not Disturb" sign out front? 🤔
As a man you are at zero threat from random women reaching out to you. There's nothing distasteful about it. This is a site primarily based on pros making money. If you're not interested than just ignore the message.
In the three years I've been here I've only had one pro reach out to me before I ever visited her profile.. She's now banned don't know why.. But I have had other Pros whom I've had sessions with previously out of the blue message me something like" Hey I'm free this weekend if you want a session" or "Hey I'm having a session in your town today, would you like to have a session later?" Or like one pro who had I had a session with would text me later on wondering when I would like to have a session again..Even offering to package multiple sessions in a month for a lower rate.. I had one pro basically suggest about having weekly or every other week sessions.. In case you're wondering I haven't seen any of those Pros who messaged me.. I completely understand if this is someone's sole source of income and you would like to have regulars that you can count on but it's freaking annoying to have a pro you've seen before message you wondering if you'd like to have a session again.. To be fair I don't mind( and it's happened already) if every now and then I get a message or a text from a pro I've seen and just ask me how I'm doing or like one time I had a pro wish me a Happy Thanksgiving.. That I don't mind, but the other stuff yeah it gets on my nerves and if a pro does that after I've seen them, they may not see me again.. Sorry for the long post but this is a pet peeve of mine
I think for me, it's mostly in the way it's done. Like one pro visited my profile and complimented something about my appearance, and I didn't feel like she was trying to siphon money from me. Actually, come to think of it, I may have visited her profile first, but even if I hadn't, I don't think I would be put off by a little pleasant conversation at all, and it's always good to have a chance to make friends. But if someone messaged me first, and even if they just said "this is what I offer and these are my rates", I would feel like they were trying to push themselves on me.
I wonder if the site rules are explicitly that a pro can't reach out first and offer services, even in a hinting way, or that they can't reach out first and just say something pleasant that has nothing to do with their services?
Personally, I LOVE it! I have good Karma feedback, so Pro's in the area, and visiting Pro's seek me out to book a paid session. I always respond to their request, and probably agree to cuddle with 80% of them. They tend to be established Pro's with good Karma themselves. Can I be severely honest here??
I do NOTHING, and an attractive Pro seeks ME out for a cuddle session. I'm retired at 59 years old, so I have the money to spend on cuddles with quality Pro's. They see me as a safe and rewarding opportunity for some income. I'm more than happy to provide that opportunity!!
I find it flattering!! Again, I'll be honest, the Pro's reaching out to me are attractive and well established. They seek ME out, and all I have to do is agree. Every session I've had with a Pro that sought me out has been very rewarding.
All I do is agree. They don't need to vet me. My Karma tells them that I am safe, respect platonic boundaries, and a good cuddler. They show up looking better than their profile pics, and I get to experience rewarding cuddling for a reasonable fee.
IRL, I cannot find a date to save my life. Being constantly rejected and getting the not so subtle feedback that I'm not an attractive choice is deflating, depressing, and leaves me cynical about single women. Why is it so difficult IRL, and so easy on this site??
I've been told I'm a good catch and single women "should" find me attractive. I have a "great personality" but I'm a shorter man at 5' 5". Thus, I'm not very attractive to single women IRL. I find that hella depressing and have given up dating for long stretches of my life to stay sane.
And then I join Cuddle Comfort, and find that I'm "hella attractive and popular". The only catch is I have to pay a fee. So what?? I have the money. I never got married (Duh...) so I have been able to save substantially with having a well paid professional career.
Now, I'm experiencing what it's like being "attractive and popular". And I LIKE IT!! I like it A LOT!!
I joined this site in January 2024. I reached out to five professionals yielding four in-person sessions. Three of them I didn't vibe with, but one is my "Favorite Fave". We clicked!! We've had 2-3 sessions each month for nearly three years.
You know how many Pro's I've reached out to since? Zero... New cuddle opportunities seek ME OUT! I find that very flattering and quite rewarding! I have two semi-regulars that started by them seeking me out.
And I love being "targeted" by visiting Pro's. One highly attractive Pro from Hawaii sought me out, saying she was visiting Portland for only a week. So, I suggested having TWO sessions to maximize her income opportunities. She agreed!! Thus, I "cuddled her off the plane", meaning she visited me before finding her accommodations. And I said if it went well, we could have another session on your way to the airport to fly back to Hawaii. And that's what we did!! She was spiritual, attractive, and a high quality cuddle experience. All I had to do was say "Yes" to her initial request and answer my front door when she arrived.
Thus, I think it's A-OK for Pro's to "cold call" safe and enthusiastic enthusiasts to generate income. Being unattractive and ignored IRL makes me sad and depressed. Being popular and "attractive" on Cuddle Comfort makes me VERY HAPPY!!
So, I am VERY puzzled at why this practice is considered not in good taste and is discouraged and reason for being reported. 🤷🏼♂️
It makes logical sense to me, and I'm SO GLAD these savvy, attractive, and bold Professionals disregard these "dumb rules" and continue to seek me out for a safe and reliable payday.
Why "discourage" seeking out lonely and depressed single men considered unattractive and undesirable IRL?? It's practically SOLVED my depression at being constantly rejected IRL. Single American women are spoiled. They pass me by like I'm some kind of tainted damaged goods. I think I would be considered popular and more attractive if I lived in another country. I have found International women to be more appreciative of my inherent qualities, kind heart, and lively personality. I even made a Facebook rant calling out single American women for being so cruel and dismissive. As expected, their reaction was withering and lacked understanding and sympathy. And the reaction from males was overwhelmingly in agreement. They privately DM'd me for fear of being blasted by selfish, narcissistic offended females.
I made my point!!!! Women can be cruel. And there are SO MANY lonely, depressed single men that have little to no chance at finding Love and affection. So, ladies..:be more kind, understanding and willing to comfort and hold lonely men. PLEASE!!
Maybe you wouldn't feel like Men are so awful and dangerous if you didn't dismiss us as viable partners so easily. Be kind. Lonely men NEED and DESERVE Love and Affection too.
I'm considered popular, fit, and adventurous IRL, yet I'm ALWAYS alone. Something is SERIOUSLY WRONG in our American culture and society. And I have no ideas on a solution. Thank goodness opportunities like Cuddle Comfort exist to make us unattractive Men feel wanted and desired company.
And to know the "Rules" discourage this practice makes me ANGRY. Someone on this post even said Pro's seeking out clients should be REPORTED.
What the HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? Do you have no heart or any sympathy? You're a mean, uncaring person. Please be more KIND, OK??
As a man you are at zero threat from random women reaching out to you. There's nothing distasteful about it.
Odd statement to make. Threat has nothing to do with it, because if it was threatening the person would be kicked off the site. And taste—tasteful or distasteful—is subjective. To me it has more to do with annoyance in the form of spam. Those who exert energy on spamming tend to overpromise and underperform in their cuddling service—just laying there, no convo skills, falling asleep, etc. The connections made organically out of interest prove to be the more rewarding experiences. And finally, the flattery you normally encounter in their form letter approach is widely dispersed to several prospective customers. I am unmoved by false flattery applied to several dozen or hundred faceless people. I can find you myself if I am interested. So at the end of the day it is spam and the site rule against it is a rudimentary spam filter.
But if false flattery is your jam and makes you feel good that’s your prerogative. But it can also make you susceptible to manipulation. Give me authenticity any day.
I am too shy to contact people even if they visited my profile, but I can see both sides of this coin.
I don't know if this idea has been mentioned before, but maybe a little section in the profile with a "Happy to be contacted: Yes / No" would easily solve this dilemma!
@TheFunCartel
Here's a question since you want to nitpick: what do you think is genuine flattery as opposed to false flattery? Do you really think all of these pros that you have karma with were 100% genuine with everything they said to you?
I also don't consider it spam. Pros on here are going to advertise their hustle. And you're acting really rude. Change your behavior and act like a nicer person. It'll benefit you in life. I've got you blocked now because you're not a nice person.
Definition of flattery: "Flattery is the act of giving excessive, often insincere praise to someone to gain favor, influence, or an advantage."
I think a lot of the pros on here have done this to you and you bought it.
As I stated in my post was my take and how it goes for me. I am not going to explain any further. Nor am I going to say this is how it is for everybody as you seem to want to do. Disagreement is not being rude. So you don’t consider it spam but I do-simple disagreement. But I am not changing what I believe.
But to answer your new question—we weren’t discussing karma were we? And no, I don’t believe everything said in karma and no I don’t fall for it. My criteria is simple—did I enjoy my time and did I enjoy their company?
You do know it is against forum rules to tag someone you blocked? And the flattery disagreement was in response to someone else who says they like the flattery in unsolicited messages. I also added that if that’s what they like that’s their choice but it is manipulation.
I am so crushed that you blocked me. I have been waiting all these years for your arrival and your approval and now it has vanished. What shall I ever do? 🤣🤣🤣
I understand how solicitation could be off-putting, since you didn't view her profile first. She might have read Karma you left for another Pro or liked what you said in a forum. Her message seems low pressure, I would just ignore. If unsolicited messages bother you a lot, I suggest adding that to your profile.
The easiest solution if you don't want providers to message you with cuddle offers is to mute your account. It prevents anyone you haven't already messaged from messaging you.
https://help.cuddlecomfort.com/article/how-do-i-deactivate-or-mute-my-profile
Sign up in just a few seconds and instantly communicate with people looking to cuddle near you.