The Wide World of Trolls

[Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)
edited January 2018 in General

This is just for fun. After several months on this site, and enjoying most of my reading and exchanges on the Forum, I've noticed that there are always Trolls on the Forum. When Trolls are truly malicious, the users point to the door, and in extreme cases, Mark presses the eject button. But between the non-poster and the truly harmful Troll, there are many types. I'll list a few, and maybe others can come up with a few more. if you recognize yourself and you are offended, I'm sorry, and I also promise that I didn't have you in mind when I made the post.
I use the term "Troll" loosely, so much so that most of us might fit as a Troll at one time or another. I'm betting you might disagree with some of my descriptions, or have additional Troll Types to add.

**So we start with an original post. All added Trolls are assumed to be responding to the Original Post. Here goes:
Original Poster says: I took the dogs to the park today. The sun shone brightly, warming the winter air, and I've never seen the sky so blue.

Off Topic Troll: We have amusement parks in Southern California, but a couple of years ago on a sunny day, this one guy stood up on the fastest roller coaster in the world and was decapitated. In the case of an unfortunate accident like that, is the amusement park responsible for the ongoing care of the victim's pets?

Me Too Troll: Yes! I was in the park today too. The sun warmed the air and the sky was blue. I brought my dogs along, so they could enjoy the warm sun and blue sky.

Paranoid Nutso Troll: It is men like you that make the parks unsafe for women and girls, as you and your ancestors have done since the beginning of time.

Old Guy Troll: I would really like to cuddle with you, but $80? Do you offer a Senior Citizen Discount? I get a free small coffee at Mc Donalds!

Entrepreneur Troll: My usual fee is $80 an hour, but on sunny days I offer a 10-hour cuddle pass for only $795. Put the words "Blue Sky," in the comment section when you send PayPal my way.

Great Cuddle Troll: I was in Juno Alaska the other day, and met a new cuddle partner. The sun was shining brightly, and the Sky so blue, as it always in when I meet a new cuddle partner, you couldn't ask for a better cuddle session. I'm going to send positive Karma to the Sun!

Sarcastic Troll: The sun usually shines brightly, and the sky is most often blue. You just need to try more cuddle positions with you laying on your back, so you can see it!

Newbie Troll: Sun? Sky? Do you mean that you guys cuddle outside?

Say What? Troll: Butterfly Thursday cuddle tea.

Your turn: Do you identify other Trolls? How would they have responded to the Original Post above?


  • [Deleted User]CoffeeNCarbs (deleted user)

    Oh man. I don’t read this forum often enough. But this troll profiles are excellent.

  • [Deleted User]CoffeeNCarbs (deleted user)

    Okay I’ll call myself out on this one:

    I’m over-ambitious troll:
    “Wow. Sounds like you had a good day. Wanna cuddle?”

  • edited January 2018

    Cuddle Police troll: Sorry, that post didn't mention cuddling; I'm going to have to report you to Mark.

    Troll Troll: This poster is obviously trolling, don't be drawn into a conversation about skies and dogs. Notice the similar account name to someone that recently got banned for talking about rainbows all the time.

    Easily Offended troll: Not all of us like winter you know. Or have pets. You should think more carefully before you post something so divisive and inflamatory.


    Over Analytical troll: Let us define your terms. When you say dogs, did you mean literal adult dogs, or were they technically puppies? At what stage does a puppy become a dog anyway? Who can say. Such is the mystery of life.

    Minimalist troll: .

  • edited January 2018

    Vigilant troll: That is word for word what it says on my profile page. They could have at least changed "dogs" to "cats".

    Self Advertising troll: That's nice. By the way I'm in Saskatchewan ... any cuddlers in my area?

    Very Creepy troll: You were wearing a nice blue top in the park. But I prefer the red one.

    Conspiracy troll: Message received. My hamsters were eating burritos in the bathtub this morning without any salsa.

  • I think there are trolls and there are hijack trolls.

    There are also the: What happens when... Trolls.

    .... So what happens when a Troll meets a Troll? :) :P

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    @Lovelight I'm not sure. Are they both civilian trolls or is one a Pro-Troll?

  • So accurate I'm not sure if I should grin or grimace. Thanks, @Greybeard and @respectful, for the chuckles :D

    Best thread on here in a long while.

  • Go back to your home on troll island

  • edited January 2018

    @Sideon Not all accurate I hope!

    And (obviously) no offense intended to anyone. :) Just having some fun ...

    Great post @Greybeard!

  • [Deleted User]DeliMan (deleted user)

    @Greybeard do they all just go trolling along?

  • edited January 2018

    The "I'm Not ____ BUT" Troll: Hey, look, some of my best friends are dogs and all, but I don't really think they need to have things like walks or parks, I mean, seriously.

    The "Everyone But Me" Troll: A dog bit me once, so all dogs are evil, and all dog lovers are just suckers waiting to get bit.

  • [Deleted User]courageous1 (deleted user)

    This is too funny! Great post!

  • The Whiney Troll #1- I took the dogs to the park today but hated it because there were ____ everywhere. They hurt my feelings because they wouldn't talk to me. (sniffle). The sun was shining brightly warming the winter air but ____ just don't understand that I get really cold when the suns not shining. Why won't they talk to me about it? Why do they seem like they are all picking on me? Look at me, look at me!

    The Whiney Troll #2: What he said! Boo ____!

    @Graybeard... I feel like you were thinking of me when you created the Entrepreneur Troll! I love it! <3

  • [Deleted User]Greybeard (deleted user)

    @Scarlette Aw, that’s sweet. I think of you often, but not in terms of a troll post. (Troll attempting to wiggle out of trouble)

  • These just seem more like personality profiles of the cuddly sort! I usually think of a troll as a negative thing. This is pretty cute though! :3

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