@Chococuddles, I love the idea of 3 sessions before getting the pro title. I was disappointed to see a brand new pro on here charging $100/hr and didn't even bother to fill out the profile. Meanwhile, I've been Cuddling for 7 months, started at $60/hour, built up my client base then switched to what seems to be the standard $80.
@AlexBabyBoo23 What you're doing is brilliant and I wish more did that. Tho lately I've seen quite a few newbies starting out from $40-$60. I'm sure I'll be in the minority but I think that makes sense for newbies. Just as with any craft or job work your way up to a higher rate.
I know pros will choose their rate for varying reasons but I really appreciate what you and some other newbies are doing - starting at a lower rate and working your way up.
Thanks @chococuddles! Hugs!!!
@chococuddles I've seen new cuddlers jump in as a Pro and list $100-110/hr without filling out anything about themselves to at most a single sentence, and others that have been a Pro for nearly 2 years charge $50-60/hr and are fantastic at it. For the lower rates it's easier to do multiple hours more often, plus even if they don't charge extra for fuel I'll still add some in to help cover driving or buy tacos or something for both of us to enjoy as a treat like hot chocolate when it's colder out. I agree with you though
I wish profiles inactive for 3+ months would be deleted. It doesn't take much to check in every once in a while. The pros in my area have dried up. One finally got back to me, but she's really busy. The one who's logged on most recently is visiting, I think, and hasn't responded to two emails. That's frustrating. I wish pros would send some type of msg.
@AlexBabyBoo23 I wish I got back your way more often.
Maybe we could set it to deactivated where they can come back later if the choose and don't lose all their contacts?
And my advice to new clients - read the client agreement thoroughly and if any part of you is hoping for anything besides non-sexual physical contact for the agreed duration, you should probably find another resource over disrespecting the pros here. You aren’t looking for a cuddle, be honest with yourself and leave the pros to serve those who are.
Also if I was my younger self many of the comments I see in the forum would have made me decide it’s not for me . it definitely makes me more cautious . There seems to be this need with some here to not fully define the boundaries and to give leeway . At my age I’m very clear and confident with my boundaries so I just take notes of those to avoid and vet !
@AglowAngel - I'm not sure I want to educate the boundary pushers in how to get away with even more bad behavior, which I believe your telling them why you decline the cuddle will do. I'm quite confident that those who want sexual activity out of a cuddle know exactly what they're doing.
THOSE PUSHING BOUBDARIES KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING !
There are people who Comply with boundaries because they respect you
Others comply because they don’t want to lose your services or deal with consequences
Those that don’t comply it’s because they are hoping to get away with something , hope you’ll give them the benefit of the doubt or lower your bounderies .
@CuddlebugTM this boundary discussion really applies to both male amd female pros.and nonpro. I had a pro try to cross lines as well. It is important that those who try to cross the line are reported so they dont spoil it for those who want to not cross it.
This why I didn’t specify male or female just people . Whether pro or non pro anyone can cross a line .
My bad, I was reading the message before yours.
Maybe you missed my follow up post. Either way, do what you feel is appropriate. I do what I feel is appropriate. My value system for myself means that I have to be direct. If they’re all a lost cause as you insist and they know exactly what they are doing then me calling them out for it is hardly adding fuel to the fire. That’s somewhat like victim blaming-I’m not responsible for their actions.
It seems a couple members had issues with what @aglowangel said. I’ve read the comments and I’m not 100% sure I understand. The understanding I have from the few comments I see is that she is trying to tell them what they are doing wrong and a couple of other members are telling her that they already know what they’re doing wrong and don’t deserve to be corrected. Is that what I’m reading?
I don’t think she was wrong . Maybe they will understand they were disrespectful ( I think that’s rare honestly , they know what they are doing ) or maybe they will learn to stear clear of certain statements and questions to get their foot in the door . Sadly I’ve had people learn how to speak nicely and diplomatically without any actual change in behavior or respect .
This applies to all people
So my question is, do people deserve to be corrected and or educated or is the assumption always that they knew what they were doing and knew they were acting inappropriately so they deserve no courtesies?
This has been discussed many times so I won’t go over it again . You are welcome to help educate cuddlers on how to respect people and their boundaries. You could make your own blog/vlog since you are so passionate about educating others .
If you go into something with the knowledge that it is not a sexual activity, and you attempt to steer it towards being sexual anyhow, then I am not sure how effective any ed will be considering that it is not necessarily something that has to be relearned as you know from the start that sex is not part of the deal.
I’m just trying to understand and clarify what’s being said. When one of my employees does something wrong, my opinion most of the time is that they know better and deserve no courtesies. I can’t take that approach though or the union will have me up to my ears in grievances. So I educate and document and if it all happens again, then they are disciplined. Although I don’t always agree with the system, I have grown to feel that fair is fair and think that we should all act reasonably. I understand what @pmvines says and agree with it but I also know that people aren’t perfect and deserve an opportunity to do things the right way.
I don’t expect perfection but I’m not willing to pretend the people here don’t know better it’s very clear what this website is for . It’s not about education it’s about respect , period !
Educating people that misbehave in the workplace is one thing, educating that misbehave in my bed with their hand on my boob is completely different.
"3. No touching in areas covered by undergarments is permitted. If this occurs, the Cuddler has the right to leave. No kissing is allowed."
Not sure how this can get much clearer.
@morpheus.... if a male on your job walked up to a female coworker and grab her breast and kissed her, how many warnings would he get? ZERO. What you would get is a lawsuit for sexual harassment.
No sex is no sex, everything is about consent and if money exchanges hands it is also illegal for it to be sexual. Most people with common sense know these things, and I would imagine particularly if one is on this site then they already have a basic preliminary understanding of this concept.
On the topic of people that push boundaries, "but I didn't have have a sexual intention/reaction" is not an acceptable response to "you touched me in a sexual place/manner," e.g., the 'accidental' breast grazing, buttocks cupping, pubic area crossing. First, it shouldn't happen, period. Second, if it does and the victimized person chooses to continue, the only acceptable response is "It won't happen again."
Rules are rules, and the rules of this site within the context of a professional cuddling session are spelled out in black and white in the Client Service Agreement, available in full here. Note how the copy/pasted portions below do not have anything that says, "but if they say they didn't mean to disrespect your body or personal boundaries, then they should be educated on the topic." Client Service Agreement
I (“Client”) understand and agree to all of the following:
Session Rules 1. No sexual activity is permitted. If a Client tries to force themselves sexually onto a Cuddler, the Cuddler has the right to leave. 2. Both parties will remain clothed the entire session. Undergarments do not constitute as sufficient clothing. . . . If a Client shows off areas normally covered by undergarments purposely, the Cuddler has the right to leave. 3. No touching in areas covered by undergarments is permitted. If this occurs, the Cuddler has the right to leave. No kissing is allowed. . . .
Your use of our services implies you have read and agree to these terms. Violation of these terms may permanently revoke your privilege to use our services.
Mod Notice: Removed section of comment sharing a direct message that was sent privately.
Edited: Although I'm completely fine having public discussions about public issues, I've edited my comment to hide the direct message sender's identity.
After my previous comment, I received a message from someone stating that:
This is another example of someone not reading/listening closely before giving their opinion on someone else's words. You'll notice my previous comment does not once mention gender of Cuddlers or Clients, only "people that push boundaries" and the text of the Client Service Agreement as provided by CuddleComfort.com.
And in case anyone is interested in the off-topic comment about prepayment of services, the Client Service Agreement covers that, too. Booking deposits, should a professional Cuddler choose to require one, also seem to fall within the Cancellation Policy. But @mark can correct me if I'm wrong. Client Service Agreement
. . .
Payment 10. The Cuddler will ask for payment from the Client for the Full Session Price as previously agreed between the Cuddler and Client on the website. Payment for each session is due before the session or at the very start of one.
Cancellation Policy 11. If you cancel within 12 hours of the appointment we ask that you pay half of the session price. This is to compensate the Cuddler for lost business as it’s unlikely they would be able to find another client for that scheduled period at such short notice.
Is it possible to accidentally touch a boob or a butt?
I always have clients put down a 50% deposit anytime I do a cuddle trip. Im on one now and pretty much booked everyday for 2 weeks straight and all provided the deposit without issue at all.
Regarding #11 - what if the Pro cancels within 12 hours of the appointment? Kellogg's Nuttin Honey?
That happened to one of my friends. The pro cancelled within 12 hours so she should have given him a discount on a future session but instead, she blocked him.