Tips on Staying Safe?

[Deleted User]schntgai (deleted user)

I hate to bring down the vibe, but let’s face it — meeting a stranger off of the internet puts you in a vulnerable position. I’m not exactly new to this site, but because of apprehension there I haven’t met up with anyone yet.

Does anyone have tips on how to stay reasonably safe (while not necessarily having to stay in public)?

Thanks,
schntgai

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Comments

  • This is a good question. Personally I am going to meet up with the person I am currently talking to in public before going any further. Maybe I will pick up on some warning signs....or hopefully not. I don't know, I have very little experience with this sort of thing.

    Also, I'd love to play you in star trek scene it :P Nobody I know can provide any challenge.

  • You can do a phone call or chat on Skype first that usually gives me a good initial impression. Also I use a Google voice number so I can stay safe with that and keep my information private. The obvious meet at a coffee shop or something first is always good advice. Some girls bring pepper spray or some other protective device. Then there is your safety person. Have someone that you text the address that you are meeting at and how long so someone is aware at all times where you are and who you are with.

  • ^ that's really good advice. Do you have any advice for someone who removed themselves from all relationships?

  • [Deleted User]schntgai (deleted user)

    Do you think it’s safer to only meet up with women?

  • I have to admit after living with some male roommates and being quite surprised at their behaviour I might have to say I am less comfortable meeting up with men than women. I guess it's kinda crap to be biased against men but I am like this because of personal experience. My sample size is very small though so yeah, take it as you will.

  • @schntgai, there is unfortunately in my opinion no way to know. I myself would only meet in public first. But even that is not without risk.. I think if some precautions are taken minimize risk I am not going to paralyze myself into not doing anything. I just think fear can be paralyzing.

  • @JasonCuddles I'm sorry hun I don't understand your question.

  • [Deleted User]schntgai (deleted user)

    @JasonCuddles yeah I hate to have bias, but some of the messages from men on here make me cautious about it. To be fair, it’s primarily men messaging in the first place.

  • I think a big difference is that men, in general, can physically overpower women. I have never personally been concerned about women who have been......aggressively touchy with me.....because I could overpower them without any problems. If you couldn't this becomes a pretty big concern.

    I am not saying that feeling people up on public transit or anything is okay, but I've never felt any danger from it and that's an important distinction.

  • [Deleted User]schntgai (deleted user)

    Pepper spray sounds like a promising solution though, so thank you @AshleyCuddles.

  • @AshleyCuddles I have nobody I would want to let know where I am....do you have any advice for people who removed all social contacts?

  • [Deleted User]schntgai (deleted user)

    I also don’t think I’d tell anyone, but maybe I’d do a timed email or something that I could cancel if I didn’t get murdered.

  • Well...how about picking someone online here to check on you? We have made friends a bit talking in the forums and such. Have a buddy on the site you trust give them your info of where you are meeting and when you are going to be done. If they don't get a message from you after they can let your local authorities know your last known location and who you were with. I know that the site will provide info if authorities ask. @mark definitely wants to keep everyone safe and is willing to help in that way

  • [Deleted User]ivlegend (deleted user)

    Safety first! I always talk to the person on phone first and then meet in a coffee shop for a short period and if I feel comfortable I will go ahead.

  • Mark provides that service? Or do we need to find others?

  • No mark will share all info he has access to with authorities if they request it. I would not encourage you making mark your safety buddy. Lol

  • Yeah I figured, no way he'd be able to keep up without hiring people and this site does not seem large enough for that.

  • But still. Find a safety buddy on here. Someone you pm with. Or someone you think seems cool, see if they will watch your back. Most people I find are helpful if you ask

  • alright, thank you :)

  • Well all your ideas matters and counts a lot. When you watch breaking news on Tv for sure, you have to learn to be very safe for your life.
    And to me my safety in my number one goal.
    Be careful be safe.!!very important for someone's life.

  • edited February 2018

    If you are nervous about meeting new people to the point where you actually won't, then my advice is simply to keep talking. Have a conversation with your intended cuddler for a few weeks. The more you talk, the more you should be put at ease. Or, conversely, the more you talk, the more the other person raises red flags, in which case they have just weeded themselves out.

    Meeting people online is no more risky than meeting them in real life. I've always felt that the internet connects me with a better quality of people than meeting some random guy at a bar whose goal is to get laid. I've cuddled 13 people so far, all of whom I met here on CC. All of them had an above average education, were interesting and fun. They all talked to me first, whether it was days, weeks or months, before we got together. I never felt my safety was at risk because of the amount of communication we had first.

  • @schntgai and @JasonCuddles I am having the same difficulty. I have no idea who I would have do this service. It almost feels like a part-time job for someone to have to keep track of all my comings and goings, and I don't feel comfortable asking someone I know to do that. It sounds like some people on here will do that for others, which I might look into if someone were willing, but it still feels the same to me. That person has their own lives and work to deal with. I just posted in the professional forum about this and wondering if this were a service people would be willing to pay for. Since I were feeling this problem, I wondered if other people had this same problem and need for help in this area.

  • If you are sending photos of clients to someone else I would suggest you tell potential cuddlers that you want to send their photo to someone else.

  • I always say I am sending pic and where I’ll be cuddling to a friend for safety . If I client can’t agree to that then they don’t get my time .

  • @BlueIris I'm very glad the internet did connect us, and I hope you're enjoying the warmer weather down south!

    Come back and visit VA some time buddy!

  • @LlamasAreCool - Hugs to you, dear!

  • I had a comment on this thread about a potential "red flag" of which I was unaware previously. Based on a private conversation with a pro, a brand new member on CC who requested a session communicated strickly by telephone, allowing no messaging of any type at all.
    The meeting turned sour, where the customer was expecting services other than cuddling, and was not nice about it when he was refused.
    Yes, I mentioned that it should be reported.

    But I would like to know from others whether you would consider this a red flag, that someone strickly would talk by voice call only?
    A background check on the phone number came up with nothing, which suggests the possibility that it was a number provided by an app or "burner" phone that has no name attached to it.

    While the person was found on social media, there was only one picture, with multiple people, so no way to identify the name with the photo with certainty. The CC member's profile name was provided to me.

    Any thoughts?
    Thanks.

  • @Calineur it’s funny you mention this because I’m a non union manager with union represented direct reports. We are careful on both sides regarding what we document. If one of my direct reports appears to insist on texting me when we can easily talk on the phone, I generally think he must be trying to document the discussion. All of this being said, someone who insists on talking on the phone may be trying to be sure the conversation isn’t documented. Appointments are supposed to be documented on this site and if the client won’t even do that, I definitely see that as a red flag.

  • Agree. I try to keep all conversation on here except for day of communication through text or phone.

  • I don’t keep all communication on the site but I do make sure appointments are documented on the site.

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