Verifying photos

Mailleweaver

I just thought I'd share this idea for photos that I've been using with people I've traded communications with over the past year or so.

If you want to be sure that a picture of someone is legit, just ask for one with something specific and common, but unusual for someone take a picture with. Have them hold a bar of deodorant, balance a fork on their finger, or write "hello" in the dust on the back of their car and pose next to it. This makes it very unlikely that they'll have an old picture meeting the criteria or be able to find a stock photo that meets it. This can't stop people from doing a switcharoo like in the movie "The Truth About Cats & Dogs" but at least it guarantees a fresh photo. And finding a fake with an accomplice photo model is very unlikely.

When I offer a picture of myself, I ask if they'd like me to take one like this with an item of their choice so they know it's a fresh picture and most likely actually a picture of me.

@Mailleweaver That's actually a really great tip. Thank you for sharing it.

UKGuy

I don't like that idea at all. If someone does not have enough faith in me to believe my photos are genuine, I probably would not be interested in communicating with them. Personally, I don't have a constant stream of fresh photos of myself and I am very selective on which photos of me I want to share. I'm certainly not about to take a specific photo of myself on the orders of someone else. I think what you are suggesting would be something more appropriate for a dating site where you are potentially looking for a long-term partner.

Mailleweaver

I don't ever ask for this myself, but I offer it to give a little more reassurance to whomever I'm speaking with. It can be scary for ladies to even think about meeting a stranger from the internet, so I do all I can to make them comfortable.

I just thought some ladies that I don't interact with might like to use this idea with others. If they'd be too scared to meet someone who refuses this verification, they'd probably be too scared to meet them before they were given this idea, so nobody is losing a meeting opportunity they would have had. It's a win for everyone. More meetings can happen, and meetings that would have happened anyway can be just a bit less scary.

I love this idea. Thank you!

Morpheus

Ask a girl to do that and she’s gonna think you’re a creeper lol I do agree though, it’s a great way to probe you’re real.

This is a great way to verify who you’re talking to, which seems to be getting more and more important

JasonCuddles

May I ask why you guys care about photos? As someone that doesn't I just want to understand.

Mailleweaver

It makes it easier to build a mental representation of a person when you can see their face, or any face to attach to them, like Morpheus's avatar. (I'm assuming he's not actually Laurence Fishburne.) And if you're going to meet, it helps to know who you're looking for.

There's also a more difficult to express value to a photo. It can provide another level of connection with the person. Kind of like how silent cuddles with someone has the potential to make you feel more connected with them than hours of talking on the phone or trading dozens of emails, seeing someone's face makes them somehow seem more real or relatable as a person rather than being just the mind behind the messages you trade.

BlueIris

@JasonCuddles - (a) Need to be able to recognize the person if I meet him in public. (b) If he sends me a photo and then I meet him and the photo he sent me doesn't turn out to be him, he would not be cuddling me at my house or anywhere else. I would assume he isn't trustworthy.

JasonCuddles

Thank you both for answering, helps me understand

alexb2

I just ask people to come on facebook video for a chat. It helps build trust, and of course you get to verify them too. Its free on smartphones, and most people have it.

BlueIris

I give people the option of a video chat, too, especially if the cuddler is too far away for a convenient meet at a coffee shop. You'd be surprised at how many people offer resistance: they don't have a camera on their computer, they don't have any kind of video chat app, they're not on Facebook, they don't "do" video chat. I've heard all of those reasons.

I have found several catfish on here. I open their picture(s) and then search good for them.

What is a catfish?

alexb2

@poonie a "catfish" is just when someone pretends to be someone else.

alexb2

@BlueIris i am always a bit suspicious of people that will not Facebook vid chat, since most people have a smartphone, and they come with either a face cam, or a normal cam. The facebook & its chat app are free. In fact I had a fake talking to me today on the chat app, was funny when there was no picture, voice only, but I knew she was lying from her accent.

BlueIris

@alexb2 - Me, too. I'm always a it suspicious when I get any kind of resistance to whatever it is I'm asking for, whether it be a photo, a video chat, or answering a few questions. After all, until I talk to someone a little, he's a complete stranger. I'm always amazed when I'm messaged by someone who thinks I'm going to rush to meet him just because he wants a booking. Nope, doesn't work that way. I need to talk to the guy first, and he needs to make me feel like he's safe. I don't feel safe if he's uncooperative.

JasonCuddles

You guys would hate me...I don't do that facebook thing and I uninstalled skype because it was just too terrible to use anymore. I think whatsapp has video chat though? Maybe? I am using that currently.

Personally, I kind of see my face as an in-person avatar. It's not me, but it is what you'll be seeing if you ever meet me. I didn't pick it myself or anything, and maybe I should be more careful who I show it to, since I use it practically everywhere and can't change it, but... meh.

Anyway, I don't hate people without photos, but I do like it better when they put up some kind of a picture. Like their favorite supervillain, or a spork, or, I don't know, something I can see in my head. Otherwise I get people even more mixed up than I do anyway, and can't remember who said what until I read through all the messages again, because somehow it's easier to associate a sentence with something solid (like a spork) than with the concept of an individual human consciousness.

Just the way my brain works, I guess.

BlueIris

@JasonCuddles - Video chat isn't a requirement, it's an option, so I doubt anyone is going to hate you over that. I'm sure you'd send a photo if one was requested, and you're conversational, as I know from trading a few messages with you. It's not the absence of something that makes anyone leery: it's resistance to whatever is being asked (which is being asked because someone is trying to be reassured that whoever he/she is talking to is safe).

mellow

I’ve met quite a few people here, mostly enthusiasts and only three pros.
Nobody has asked me to do a video chat yet. The non pros were mostly chat on CC then text after exchanging numbers or a chat application on my phone.
The pros that I’ve met didn’t ask for much either, just my phone number and then a text to tell me they were on their way and the last one I saw just last month was a same day set up, just asked me for my phone number and she sent me a text when she was on her way. I remember offering to come down to meet her at the hotel lobby but she declined and said she would just come up to my room and she did. We had a lovely time and she was great.
Everybody’s got their comfort levels but so far the people I’ve encountered haven’t asked for much in the way of verification just what to me seemed pretty reasonable, pics, phone number and that’s it.
I don’t know what I’d do if somebody asked for a video chat or ID, I guess I’ll find out when it happens.

JasonCuddles

Actually I've been using an unlisted youtube video when people ask for a picture. I made it for an unrelated thing a few years ago and it's probably the only file I've uploaded that shows my physical self. Minus some cosplay I did a while back :P I wouldn't have a problem posting a pic or video of myself in this thread but linking it so directly with my account is not something I want to do.