Fake cuddlers

deefine

Was just in a conversation with someone who said they were uncomfortable with cuddling, were fed up with trying to find people to do anything (platonic or otherwise), and when I finally just asked if we could do something that she suggested (which wasn't in her description), she mocked it, and then when I asked what she was looking for she said not to talk to her again.

To me the conversation looked like she was looking for a boyfriend or maybe just to chat or who knows maybe even just to troll.

She didn't have a pic before but added one after I reported her (questioning whether she was even female), but with this being the only non-professional cuddler response I've gotten in my state, I'm kind of wondering if people are taking this seriously outside of financial reward or if the issue is just attitudes of people in my state.

Psychonaut83

What did she suggest? You left that part out.

pmvines

People may be on here looking to cuddle, but that doesn't necessarily mean they will want to cuddle with you specifically. If they are a non paid cuddler they could have 50 reasons why to or not to cuddle with you. Everyone is different. I don't want to cuddle with everybody, though I have met some people on here who I have cuddled with. I cant speak for the person you are referring to, however I am certain not all are like her.

You did say that she posted a pic after you reported her because you questioned whether she was female? Is it possible that you may have been coming across in a way that would have made her not want to interact with you? I notice you don't have a profile pic either, but I am sure nobody has reported you and questioned your gender for it. This is the kind of thing that can be off putting to someone.

That being said, there are likely lots of profiles of people on here who come on here out of curiosity and what not. May be a more passive interest. And you have to account for how comfortable they may or may not feel about the other person. And there are likely many people who are also looking for potential relationship to develop, as well as many looking for a quick hook up. But there are also many who just really want to meet a cool person to hang out and cuddle up with some. Not always easy at first to identify who is who.

mickcuddle

@davebutton I wouldn’t be surprised to know that there are hundreds of accounts here, made by the curious, but not really into it types. They maybe get exposure to a concept that might be applicable to themselves at another time in life. I wouldn’t necessarily label them a Fake Cuddlers.

UKGuy

You only have to do a cuddler search and then scroll down to see the number of cuddlers who signed up, did not fully fill out their profile and then never came online again.

TangibleTony

Sounds like you either ran into someone who is wounded from some other event in their life, or a troll. I personally try to practice as much patience as possible when conversations go less than planned.

Try contacting more people!

Psychonaut83

What is a “fake cuddler”? A person is either a cuddler, or they’re not.

quietman775

@Psychonaut83 Perhaps "fictitious profile" would be a better turn of phrase. I saw and reported one yesterday, an enthusiast profile who claimed to be:

1) A veterinarian, an occupation that requires a level of education totally inconsistent with the number of typos and egregious grammatical errors in her profile;

2) a widow at age 25 --- not impossible, but unlikely. And many scam profiles choose "widow" status to evoke sympathy.

3) A "Native American." Her profile pic looked as Caucasian as could be.

4) a resident of a poor rural village (population 583), which seemed an unlikely place to try to set up shop as a vet and pay off all those college loans.

That profile has since been banned, so I conclude that Admin agreed it was a fake. It happens more than one might suppose.

cuddlerforu24

Wait , that account might be legit
Consider
Native American , gets college grant ( doesn’t have to look native , just Have the ancestry)
Studies Alaskan sled dog medicine , in
“Nowhere” Alaska ,
Sets up shop in one of the rural pit stops ( along the itidarod trail)to treat Iditarod injuries

Lorelei

@cuddlerforu24

I would love for you to make a forum series out of explaining bad profiles to make sense of them. It would make my day.

cuddlerforu24

Ok -
1 - the veterinarian with miss spelled words
The profile content was hastily filled out , with mess spelled words etc ,
There was just an effort to get the account online , then edited , and corrected later
and just what I said , education paid for , or partly paid for , by grant money . No huge student loans
2 widow :-
In the northern territories , Life is hard ,
The husband died maybe , a snowmobile accident , or bear attack , shot himself hutung for food , froze to death
3. You don’t need to look Native American to be Native American . Since the profile and profile photos are not available exhibits , let’s assume the race of the account holder is just what was described
4. Resident of rural village - veterinarian occupations
Even the less affluent areas need/ require trained help . A rural area will support more agricultural pursuits -
Ag, as in animals , aquaculture, .
You won’t get paid much , but people are drawn to less populated areas , God’s country - good quality of life. It’s a sacrifice.
Also , is the population indicative of wealth? The banned member lives in a village of 517, as stated by the complainant quietman. If you are a veterinarian , in the plains va , pop 288, it should be a poorer town , yet a vet would be making over $100,000, per year there .
It’s entirely possible that this account was in fact fictitious, or just fictitious looking .
I never saw .
Shall we give some benifit of the doubt?

We
Don’t know if this is a soft ban ( temporary pending explanations)
Or
Hard ban - permanent .

CuddleStella

From the beginning of what you wrote, it seems like she herself was having a hard time finding someone to cuddle. Like @pmvines said, a lot of enthusiasts who sign up here, those are the ones who are non-pros, may want to cuddle but they won't want to cuddle with just ANYBODY. if they don't have a picture up themselves, maybe the reasons why are the same as to why someone messaging her doesn't either. it goes both ways... and like someone mentioned, some folks sign up as a passing phase or to see what this site is about (which is really all cuddling, but to someone disconnected, it may be hard to believe.)

As easier as it may be for women to find a cuddle partner, that doesn't mean that they find the cuddle partner THEY themselves are willing to cuddle with. Various reasons as to why, but that's just my perspective/theory as a woman.

deefine

@ I've already said too much

cranefritz

Hmm... that account sounds pretty similar to one I saw recently. The cuddler lived in this tiny town in Minnesota (population 5XX). She reached out to me (who live in Texas) and told asked me if I wanted to book her as a cuddler. When I questioned the viability of meeting because of the distance she told me that if I was willing to send her half of the fee in advance (via iTunes cards) she would come to Texas the next day. She seemed pretty insistent about the prepayment. It smelled like a scam, so didn't engage. I saw she was banned the next day.

quietman775

@cuddlerforu24
Interesting. I like your imagination. I can see misspellings being made in haste, but not bad grammar or syntax. A certain facility with written English shines through even in the most hurried of writings.

In answer to your question, the notice reads "this account has been banned." Not a temporary suspension, so a hard ban.

Let me fill in some more blanks. This unusual woman (a 5'11'' 25-year-old widow who looks as Native American as Senator Liz Warren) claimed to be originally from "Northwales PA" [sic ---it's North Wales, two words] which is a suburb of Philadelphia. Her profile said she is now living in Simpson, Louisiana. So no snowmobile accidents or sled dog medicine in this tiny hamlet in bayou country. LOL.

I imagine that site management might have checked the IP address for location before making a decision as to whether the account was fake. :-)

RoleTidePods

There are plenty of privileged white women, especially in the Deep South, that claim to have a mythical great-grandmother that was a Native American princess. It makes them feel exotic and makes them eligible for other potential advantages without any pesky negative consequences.

Maybe there are some people on here who have been treated so badly in the past, but still human interaction, even if it’s just a friend to talk to!!

Lorelei

@RoleTidePods What on earth are you talking about? The OP never said the person he spoke to was white, or southern for that matter, (Utah is a middle state, for the record) so that's completely irrelevant, and I live in the south, thanks, born here, been here for years, don't encounter anything of the sort. Your post is off topic, bizarre, sexist, and racist. xD A lot to fit into one two sentence post. If you're referring to quietman775's profile--even though you didn't tag him so it doesn't look like it, (and he lives in the north...) he was talking about a fake profile, not a real person.

But that's really your response...? To a guy posting that he, a male site member with no photo, hypocritically bullied a female non-pro site member into posting a photo to prove she was a woman, and he's upset because she doesn't want to talk to him anymore, which... obviously.

pmvines

@davebutton To address your original post that you took down and replaced with by saying " I have already said too much", you feel a woman you are speaking to on here should be made to post a pic of herself, questioning her gender because she doesn't have one, but then you don't feel you should have to do the same? And then assert that this is not an entitled attitude, even possibly sexist, on your part, and that it is because something is wrong with her that she doesn't want to continue to speak with or cuddle with you?

cease2exist

@Lorelei I think he was just referencing a similar experience, not applying attributes to the OP story.

cuddlerforu24

The way I read the original post, the member was reported , then a picture was uploaded . That makes the suggestion to provide the picture , come from the website . Am I wrong ?

PinkLipstick22

^^I would be surprised and dismayed if that were true, unless there's some really odd information not being provided.
Enthusiasts are not required to upload a picture, as most of those on this thread must know as many of you don't have pictures yourselves. Only pros are required to do so, based on my understanding.

I'm a bit confused by a group of enthusiast cuddlers who would like there to be more gender balance on the site being quick to alienate and then report (!) fellow enthusiasts of preferred gender. This seems counterproductive to me; as a pro who likes to attract more clients I try, maybe not always succeeding, in being welcoming to new members or new-to-me cuddlers. I would expect the same from enthusiasts with similar motivation of attracting more cuddlers to the pool.
Perhaps I'm missing something I read over.

overuse of emoticons always makes me wonder

deefine

@pmvines The post I edited (which was not my original post, which is the one at the top of the thread) was very long and addressing mostly the negative assumptions from your initial reply, as well as just replying to other repliers (who were not negative thankfully), and it ended up just giving out too much info on the person to address the replies...

I think your last reply is also very negative, and apparently more accusatory, and guess what:

1) I do not feel she should have had a picture, and that wasn't the issue.
2) You don't know how I feel unless I explicitly say it.
3) I questioned her gender only after her bizarre final reply (which was contradictory to her previous ones), when weighed with some of her other ones, as well as her lack of a picture, made me wonder if she was just some lonely angry guy or troll looking for attention. I've literally seen this before with someone (that I didn't converse with thankfully). Believe what you want.
4) It's not hypocritical of me to not have a picture if I never expected her to have one.
5) I don't know what you're talking about with this entitled attitude or being sexist; I'm just going to assume this is extrapolating or more jumping to negative conclusions. I'm kind of wondering if you're trying to stoke a fire or argument or something just because I'm new. I'm not interested in continuing with this with you.

While I appreciate some of your other posts in this forum, the other poster's replies here seem actually informative and helpful, if at least not just interesting or fun banter.

Thanks @ everyone_else for weighing in, I've definitely learned something.

Let the negatives be negative... I'm not here to please them, I'm here to find cuddle-positive conversationlists while feeling safe, and just want to avoid a fake or another rude person like I got.

PS the other cuddlers I've chatted privately with have been great conversationalists, including non-professionals and ones I've texted over phone

Toodles

RoleTidePods

@Lorelei My post was in response to @quietman775 and his apparent confusion that a person identifying as Native American might look very Caucasian. From my own personal experience, growing up mostly in southern states, I had many Caucasian female friends that claimed to have a Native American (Cherokee in all cases except one) princess in their bloodline, and I didn't think much about it all, really. When I got to college, I met another one, and while having a class discussion I found out it was a thing. Never wondered at all why it was always a princess and not a prince, but that was mysteriously always the case. Combining my personal experiences growing up, what I learned in school, and Senator Liz Warren's story is how I crafted my response to @quietman775's thinking that a Caucasian-looking Native American profile may be fake. I have no idea how you saw it as sexist (towards which women?) and racist (towards Native Americans or Caucasians, or both?), but you may have just felt personally attacked. If that is the case, and it doesn't apply to you or your experiences...well, it doesn't apply to you...

CuddleStella

@RoleTidePods wondering where they got the "princess" title from in a Native American ethnicity. Princess might be referring to "daughter of a Tribal chief" but that's hardly a princess equivalent.

also, caucasian-looking native americans are not far from the norm while ancestry vs. tribal affiliation/enrollment is another something to consider.

pmvines

Here in the south east virtually everybody has native American ancestry. Primary ones around here are Cherokee, creek, and Choctaw. I have Cherokee and creek, along with a whole plethora of other things like Scottish, Swedish, spanish dutch, irish, the list goes on really. Despite all this I am still just an average white guy

quietman775

Ah, and that was my original point in mentioning her ethnicity claim as one of four factors that, taken together, struck me as suspicious. Lots of folks have some ethnic variety/diversity somewhere in the far reaches of their family tree. It's one thing to acknowledge some Native American ancestry (because your great grandma on your father's side was Choctaw or something), and another thing entirely to claim to BE Native American because some distant forbear was. If someone's genetic makeup is 92% from western Europe and 8% Native American, claiming to "be" Native American seems disingenuous IMHO.

But to reassure all and sundry, I'm well aware that people can belong to any given ethnic group without having the particular features typically associated with said group. But when the number of unusual things starts to pile up ... 1) the horrible spelling, grammar, and syntax from someone whose reported career mandates at least 7 years of post-secondary education; 2) being a widow at age 25; 3) being a female who stands nearly 6 feet tall; 4) being a Caucasian-looking Native American who hails from a town whose population is listed as only 0.06% Native American; and 5) moving from the Philly suburb where you were born and raised (but can't spell) to a tiny village in the Louisiana swamp; well, with all those atypical characteristics attributed to just one person, I stand by my original call. And when the admins banned her, I'm pretty sure it wasn't for being an Indian who looked white. ;-)

UKGuy

There never was any such a thing as a native American prince or princess. Native Americans did not have princes or princesses!
http://www.native-languages.org/princess.htm

quietman775

Imagine the odds! A new profile just popped up. Yet ANOTHER one from Simpson, Louisiana (population 583). Now there are differences --- the banned one was a 25-year-old blonde. This is a 28-year-old brunette. Clearly a different person in the photo. But, mother of all coincidences, this one also happens to be a veterinarian. [How many vets does such a small hamlet support?] And she also happens to stand 5'11" tall, the same height as the other woman. And.. wait for it ... she's also Native American! Of course, I'm totally giving her the benefit of the doubt.

tallteddy

Seems like an easy mistake to make: