@pmvines my thoughts exactly!
Nobody responds to me, I am getting too many messages is there a happy medium or will anything make anyone happy? Nothing will make everyone happy.
@CreativeCuddles It is the whole well this is how I feel so why doesn't it apply to everyone mentality. A discouraged man who is mad that people don't respond to his messages on here who does not seem to understand why a woman possibly would not want 200 messages in their inbox, many from creeps, many being along the lines of hey whats up, and many being multiple messages from the same person asking why she has not responded to him, growing more hostile with each message they send. For the discouraged man, it might seem a great thing to have so many messages from women on here. However the discouraged man is only seeing things through his lens, and not from that of the overwhelmed woman.
Wow @pmvines pretty negative view, pretty condescending actually. But hey, you have a great holiday with lots to be thankful for!! We'll all just kinda walk away from that comment. I think I need to go grab my cat's tail now.....yeesh
@respectful this is what I do! I focus on a few....if I answered the 50 plus messages.....some from across the world mind you. I'd never get to know anyone nearby well enough to feel safe meeting up. When I get rude messages because im not answer everyones messages hourly.... I make the decision to delete their messages. This includes future ones.... I'm not here for anyone else convenience. I try to be kind to all but I also have to be practical.
Hope this helps. ~J
@SweetPeaMN Not meant to be condescending at all, just something I and other folks notice. Some of, not all obviously but some of the men here get very dejected and vocal about disdain that people don't reply to them. However when a woman voices that it is not easy responding when there are simply too many messages for them to sort through, with many of them not being all that great of messages to respond to and it is too much to sort through everything and eventually just stop altogether, certain men also get mad and say the woman should be grateful that she gets all these messages because they themselves would love to get so many. However this is only done through their lens so it is projection, and is one sided. I am simply bringing up the point of view from the other side. It is like saying i love cherries, you should only be so lucky to have so many, al the while the person you are speaking to gets rather sick from them but keep being given more and more cherries even though they are saying it is too much. And please don't pull your cats tail, I am sure you have a great kitty who would not want their tail pulled! Take care
If someone gets 100 messages of which 20 are from 'creeps' but due to these changes, you only get 20 messages, assuming the same 'creep' ratio, 4 will still be undesirable. So the total good messages received will be 16, meanwhile you are missing 64 good messages (80-16) that would have been received previously. Does not make sense to me. If you want to maximize your opportunities, you have to be prepared to do the work in sifting through the messages. One of the people whose message you did not get due to these changes, could have been the perfect person for you.
Thank you @UKGuy
One of the people whose message you did not get due to these changes, could have been the perfect person for you.
Just bear in mind the potential messages you lose are only from people over 300 miles away.
@UKGuy - well said > If you want to maximize your opportunities, you have to be prepared to do the work in sifting through the messages. One of the people whose message you did not get due to these changes, could have been the perfect person for you.. <
I mean if a professional places a profile, what do they expect? I hate it when a business advertises a product or service and posts a number, then when you call they don't answer or return your calls. Not a good business model. Perhaps the "ad" should have a few more details about who your target audience is (gender, location, ability to host, blah blah blah).
@MarvinNYC - I am not sure if @UKGuy was talking about pros. Considering the volume of messages, I would guess he was not. I read somewhere else from a pro who initially had an enthusiast account that she used to receive dozens of messages in a day but when she became a pro, it dwindled to few in a week. I seriously doubt people who are charging 80$ or more per hour to cuddle get dozens of messages within a day.
@patTheCuddler - True. I just get frustrated when a pro takes forever to get back to me.
I do think the non paid cuddlers would likely get more messages as there are likely many more men hoping to find someone who doesn't charge to cuddle them. So it is not a thing of advertising for themselves. And even if they are a paid cuddler and are advertising for themselves, they still may be overwhelmed and unable to sift through everything and get back to folks and get annoyed with things the same way as anybody else would.
I do think the non paid cuddlers would likely get more messages
Also because Pros do not show up on the homepage carousel.
I try to think of myself as younger in spirit than I am in the flesh, but alas, like many early diners, I don’t like change. The two major weather apps are an example; the nature of weather hasn’t changed in the last three years (not to deny the ongoing changes to climate) but each site has had 4 major revamps in that time, so that finding out whether an umbrella is advisable feels like an adventure. I won’t even start on Microsoft or iOS. So my preference, crabby old man that I am, is to make fewer changes. That said (in way too many words), while the changes to the home page photo carousel make the feature a little less meaningful to me personally, it was done for the greater good, and some of us should just sit back and not continue to harp on our personal idea of what should be, and let Mark run his website.
I work in IT and a lot of my time is spent doing Technical Support. Sometimes there are quiet times when no-one has a problem, other times I get half a dozen crises all at once. I can't turn my email or phone off because I'm 'overwhelmed', I have to look at all the issues, prioritize them and deal with them in order of urgency.
Whilst I agree with @mickcuddle in that the fewer changes the better, and not to change anything just for the sake of change itself, I do think this site's most valuable asset is its users. Any website would be very foolish to discourage suggestions for improvement or criticism of proposed changes or changes already made. We are the people who use the website and we know how these things affect us. Our opinions are very valuable.
and some of us should just sit back and not continue to harp on our personal idea of what should be, and let Mark run his website
I appreciate your consideration but please do keep the feedback coming. While I don't respond to it all, I read and carefully consider every single bit of feedback. So much of this website has been shaped by the community which leads on to the second point...
I do think this site's most valuable asset is its users
Yes, the community absolutely represents most of the value here.
Honestly, this has been my problem. And the first person I was really talking with pushed to meet, chose a time and place, and then blocked me. I can only assume he was playing games. I’m giving one more person a try, but between all the people, many of whom reallycome across as creepers, who message you and people like that guy. If this goes badly I think I’m gone.
I would suggest you learn to speed read. That is the extent of my advice.
@SeeingHistory - sad to learn about your experience with the first person. People develop cold feet due to various reasons. Unfortunately, he did not communicate his decision like an adult would.
@SeeingHistory - In some ways this site is a metaphor for life. I would urge you to stick with it, get past the disappointments and if you are persistent. you will find success in the end. Don't give up so easily! You only joined the site this month, I've been here since February and haven't met anyone yet.
''What advice would you give someone who receives a very large number of messages in their first few days after joining? ''
They come here to talk to new people. So new people message them. Are they gonna complain afterwards about it? That's the whole point of joining this site.
It's extremely easy to just ignore people, in fact that's what 99% of women do. They don't bother to reply to men's messages if they're not interested. You couldn't possibly make it easier for them, there's even a block feature.
I don't need to give any advice, everything is handed to them on a plate and they're spoon fed. You can't make this any easier. If they're gonna moan about such an easy system, let them try in real life.
Not your responsibility.
Many people come here out of curiousity. They don't like the site for whatever reason, they move on. It's typical. Don't overthink it.
How many people have you seen go in a shoe shop, look around, then go out without buying anything?
I found out you can now go through the 'new cuddlers' and click 'send message' on each one. Then you can find out who is popular since it tells you who is receiving 'too many' messages. So far, it looks like good looking young women in California are in great demand but elsewhere no-one is.