Great post ! In my personal experience I have learned a lot from prof cuddlers. I will recommend every one to at least have couple of sessions with a prof. Also prof put a lot of time and energy and they deserve to be fairly compensated. Cuddle to all:)
@AndiCuddles what a great post! I got involved in cuddling around the same time as you. I had to leave a job I loved due to physical restrictions that developed. I held my position for 22 years, so it was not an easy decision. After so much time being dedicated to something I loved, I had been a bit spoiled in the professional dept......so I had to find something else that I would love! I had read an article about cuddling about a year ago...and fortunately for me, I remembered and this started my research and then my new profession.
This job has granted me new friends and a definite satisfaction in what I do. I have a need to help people. Being a pro, allows me to do that in more ways than I ever anticipated! It is incredibly rewarding when a client who needs stress relief falls asleep in my arms. It is not an easy job. There is so much behind the scenes, and I am grateful that you put it out there!
In any case, bravo! Such a well thought out and eloquent post!
I agree with @vernnyc. A cuddle party was sort of my introduction into this community, and I did really appreciate the consent and boundaries workshop.
And it is strange getting messages from users with no bio (especially when it's abundantly clear that they hardly read mine). I can totally understand not having a public photo upfront, but most of the time if I get something like "Hey, what's up?" from someone without a bio, I'm probably not gonna answer.
These topics are brought up time and time again.
And Pro's try to thoroughly explain them time and time again.
Pretty sure everyone has their mind made up either way but I think it's a healthy, positive way to express oneself.
Tho I do remember some guy telling me he hates it when Pro's try explain these issues and that all it does is piss him off. "They think we don't know this shit? Like they're telling us something we don't know?!" I think he's banned now. Shocker.
As you were. tips top hat and scuddles off
Haha, he’s the type who probably needs the explanation the most. ?
@AndiCuddles
"It’s sort-of magical.
(Again, not trying for a hard sell. But, even for me, it’s different than I thought it would be. It really transcends any ideas of what I thought it’d be like before I did it.)"
I use the term "magic" all the time when I get into a passionate speech about the power of touch and connection. It really is amazing. What you said in parentheses is also pretty much exactly my own experience as well. Feeling that connection and seeing the affect of that magical connection on my clients is what makes this work so absolutely amazing I LOVE my job! =D So much better than sitting in a cube all day not talking to anyone O:-)
@respectful My favorite cuddle regulars get that kind of attention. I can relate.
Wonderful post, thank you for sharing your thoughts, and speaking on behalf of a lot of the pros here <3 love and light to you!!!
@tarasloth I just left a career of 27 years, almost 23 in Surgical Intensive Care and 4+ in Behavioral Health and then a few months in Drug and Alcohol. It has been very difficult transitioning from a professional role working with colleagues and working with patients every day to no social interaction until you have a Cuddle. Its a very difficult transitioning from a position you earned, you were passionate about, but burned out and start fresh into a whole new world.
You did a good job of explaining your thoughts. Unfortunately I don't think you are like many other pros. Your job is to cuddle and not be cuddled.? I have had many pros who just lay there while I cuddle them. I never go back to them. Enthusiasts have been my best cuddles. I've tried scheduling with much higher priced pros and it was the same. So while I appreciate what you wrote, I wish you were in my area, I don't think most pros think like you do.
Andi, very well written. I agree with every one of your points. I could comment on points individually, but you and I have similar views - and you brought them to us so eloquently that I find no point in rehashing the same points. I will state that two things stood out for me. First, that many men looking for cuddles offer minimal or absent profiles - that’s not going to land you any cuddles guys. And the most important point you make is the money and time spent on building both a stable group of clients and an attractive cuddle space people will want to return. I live with a professional cuddler, and she spends an easy eight hour a day doing exactly what you described. Cleaning and laundry aren’t even mentioned. No one wants to picture the perfect cuddler scrubbing toilets - but that’s part of the job - if a client will use the restroom - and they always do. (A note to men - sit down in the restroom - she wants to clean the bathroom once every few days - not every few hours). But when all is said and done - a professional cuddler is making minimum wage at best, often less.
Agree with all of it. As my government teacher used to say: "There's no such thing as a free lunch." To cuddle (or in any transaction or relationship), you have to pay with something: time, energy, or money - or all of the above.
I can see how some folks can make the interaction to be similar to online dating or social media - but they are vastly different (if nothing else it's because there's an aim to be alone and hugging each other - that takes a lot of foundational trust).
*Online dating/social media is very casual, low risk, and easy to connect/disconnect. Actual cuddle vetting can be much more stringent b/c there are higher stakes in committing to meeting.
Good post. The sad part is, it will most likely reinforce the ideas for those who already agree and respect them, and for those that do not agree with it will continue to go along with their self-fulfilling prophecy, self-entitlement, and thinly veiled misogyny.
Actually, the most interesting thing to me is that this post is 8 years old and literally nothing has changed.
And Andi hasn’t visited the site in 6 years.
I feel this post is from years and years ago
It is true that banning professional cuddlers would not result in more female enthusiasts. If anything, it would result in fewer female enthusiasts.
Ultimately, it's a numbers game. Female enthusiasts outnumber male enthusiasts by approximately 100 to 1. What a male enthusiast can or can't provide (non-financially) as a cuddler matters very little in most cases.
@Sunrise_Snuggle do you mean that males outnumber the female enthusiasts 100 to 1? When you say what a male cuddler can provide matters very little - what do you mean by that? It matters so much!! Safety is huge. That's the first thing I think of.
Also, I loved coming across this thread, even tho Andi is no longer on here. I am new here, and an enthusiast not a pro. However, I see and appreciate all the pros put into their sessions. To do it well, I can feel that. I have considered going pro. There are pros and cons to both.
Andi’s post is among the best posts I’ve come across. Although she probably moved on with her life 6 years ago, her points never aged. I think everyone should bookmark it and send it to any new cuddlers whenever they have a complaint.
Yes, male enthusiasts outnumber female enthusiasts by approximately 100 to 1. Depending on the location, it may vary.
I was not very specific in my previous post.
When I said "what a male enthusiast can or can't provide matters little," I meant that for the vast majority of male enthusiasts, finding a female enthusiast at all, let alone one that is a suitable and reliable cuddle partner, is more a matter of luck than anything else. He may be the best or safest man that he can be. He may be the best cuddler that he can be. But the impact on finding a compatible female cuddle partner is still going to be negligible for the vast majority of men. As I said, it's more a numbers game than anything else.
Ok! That makes sense then.
Id like to leave a little encouragement though from a female enthusiast perspective to all male enthusiasts :
It REALLY DOES matter who you are and how you come across for your success rate. The amount of junk people and profiles we have to sift thru is insane. I have to mute myself and take breaks. I get discouraged. But I believe in the power of the cuddle, so I keep going with vetting people. I have a few good ones so far, and I want to add a few more to my list because I like cuddling a lot, and goal is to then just keep cuddling with the same group of peeps. A good profile - then positive consistent communication - then meeting up to vet - then the cuddle happens. It truly doesn't take a lot to stand out as one of the safe and good ones! You will stand out. It becomes easily obvious as to whom I will cuddle with and give of myself to again and again. Food for thought 🤙
@JessAZ Agreed. The odds might definitely be stacked against the male enthusiast in terms of finding a compatible female enthusiast. But their behavior and attitude definitely does still matter.
And I would argue that it’s likely a lot of new female enthusiasts quickly leave because of the behaviors and attitudes of the majority of the men on here.
@Sunrise_Snuggle You nailed it. In addition, every single woman is different. There are some commonalities in what many are looking for, but almost all have a quirk that you may or may not be a comfortable fit. So I also look at female enthusiasts as a numbers game.
With that said, I understand that more effort goes into getting to know enthusiasts and even more effort in getting to the cuddling level. The rewards are greater in cuddling an enthusiast in my opinion. I have 5 or 6 throughout the country that I meet or chat with at any given time. But I am far more selective on who I will even begin to make that effort with because on the men’s side of things you can spend all year writing to every female enthusiast and you can count on two hands the number of enthusiasts who say hi or are even on the site two days later. Female enthusiasts are overwhelmed by the number of inquiries while men are overwhelmed by the amount of wasted time with little to show for it. There are difficulties on both sides of the aisle.
But ever since I stopped approaching every female enthusiast and started observing who is sticking around and making an appearance at least a time or two every week, my success has skyrocketed. Just my two cents and your results may vary.
I think my perspective is a little skewed. I got lucky enough to link up with one of the first enthusiasts I reached out to; within a week, we'd gone from talking here to setting up a cuddle and have met up almost weekly for a session since. But apart from the situation with her being an outlier, it has been much harder to even start a conversation with someone.
@JustAGuy215 that’s definitely rare. In a 100:1 ratio world, successfully chatting and meeting a female enthusiast in person is similar to winning the lottery.
It’s the endless cycle of female enthusiast joining and immediately quitting after getting 100 catcall messages in day 1, and male enthusiast joining and getting their hopes crushed after sending out thousands of thoughtful messages and getting ghosted or ignored because those messages never land.
If there were no pros, this site would be 1000:1 male to female and the guys would be fighting each other Battle Royale / Squid Game style.
@JessAZ posted: "It truly doesn't take a lot to stand out as one of the safe and good ones! You will stand out. It becomes easily obvious as to whom I will cuddle with and give of myself to again and again."
So true. I often wonder if men assume it's gonna take a year of writing novels for me to decide if we click or not. Truth is, sometimes their very first message is all I need. One meaningful message or shared laugh is worth more than ten incessant messages from someone who doesn't understand what it feels like when you click with someone. Mutual curiosity is lost on so many.
~ Sunset Snuggles
🫂 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Junkie 📷 Shutter Bug
I once posted about a lack of enthusiasts. Experience has taught me well. Learned to cuddle with pros only. An enthusiast was looking for more than cuddling (a relationship). The pro paying part keeps things more straightforward and respectful. Had to learn the hard way.
this site would be 1000:1 male to female and the guys would be fighting each other Battle Royale / Squid Game style.
Not me. I could quit tomorrow and I have so many phone numbers of pros and enthusiasts I would be a happy man. But I like meeting new people so that’s what I enjoy now.
@HeldHereJeff You are not the only man to say that and there are many benefits to that approach. Namely, it makes it easier to walk on an enthusiast that seems to always want something, or tries to scam you, or you feel no connection to. Pros are invaluable.
@mauvefox 💯