Dealbreakers Series - Request to wear something specific for session adhering to cuddle guidelines

[Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

Alright, I am back with my next poll and exchange of opinion series :) . I am naming them dealbreakers :) .. What is a deal breaker for you in a cuddle meetup session? Share your thoughts. Each opinion matters. And yes if you are here please DONT FORGET TO TAKE THE POLL and see what others are saying! Poll is about someone requesting to wear something specific during cuddle session ADHERING TO CUDDLE GUIDELINES.

  1. Would a request to wear something specific during a cuddle session is a dealbreaker to you?123 votes
    1. Yes
        5.69%
    2. No
      52.85%
    3. Maybe
      30.08%
    4. NOT at first Contact Session
        8.13%
    5. I am back, I was here but won’t express my thoughts ;) LOL
        3.25%
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Comments

  • edited September 2018

    I love when I can put a smile on my client's face by showing up in their favourite colour, or wearing their favourite fragrance. My plan eventually is to build a cuddle wardrobe full of onesies, pajamas, loungewear, joggers and other athletic gear that my clients can select from to customize their experience for maximum comfort. I might even invest in my plushie collection and bring that along too. One cuddler I read about some years ago asks her clients their favourite colour, and she wears a vibrant wig in that hue to the session. It's a nice way to make them happy, and remind them subtly that their comfort and happiness matters.

    What I have a problem with are people making requests with demanding, poor attitudes. I had a session recently where it was very last minute, and my client instructed me to not have any cat hair on my clothing as they were allergic. The only article of clothing I could wear in time were my baggy (but comfy and soft) acid jeans that were about 2 sizes too big. Oh well, I'll change into my shorts when I arrive there. This client spent a lot of their session commenting on how he knows how to dress women, knows what they like, starts making presumptions about what I like and says he wants to help me... "you deserve more than these ugly jeans you're wearing".

    Bruh. You wanted me to wear something without cat hair on it, I obliged. These are not the only jeans I have at my disposal.

    Didn't push physical boundaries, but pushed my buttons. I was accepting of him as he has a neurological condition which has paralyzed him from the waist down, and he really needed the company as his illness is debilitating, and his self-esteem was obviously affected. But his attitude towards the session and women in general? Entirely, entirely garbage.

    At the end of the session, he said, "Don't wear those frumpy pants when you come to my house." Yeah, buddy, not ever coming to your house again to be told what to do, how to look, or who I am for ANY amount of money.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    This question is a little too open-ended for me. I'll accept reasonable requests. But if someone asks me to show up in tight leather and a jean jacket, I'm done. (Sarcasm implied- slightly.) But hey- with my area so sparse, in the end I would be happy to oblige anyone who would be willing to meet up (to a point).

  • It depends.
    If they request me to wear shorts, I’m okay with that. As long as there is some sort of top and shorts/pants, I’m fine.
    But if they ask about a specific outfit like a costume or skirt, I’ll decline as it usually is a preface to other requests.

  • I first ask what they usually wear when cuddling and if they take clothing requests. If they say they take requests I ask if they could wear shorts and a tank top. Only once has a professional cuddler not responded after this request.

  • this is just to broad of a question to be able to give a firm answer.

  • It totally depends on what the request is.

    If it means I have to buy something, then the answer is almost certainly a no. (Unless for some reason the circumstances make it reasonable.)

    I recently changed my policy to saying that I prefer to wear a soft (organic cotton and bamboo) pajama pants and T-shirt cuddle but that I’m open to wearing the same type of clothing in the form of shorts and a tank top for future cuddles. While I haven’t had ‘bad’ experiences wearing a tank top and shorts, there has been some boundary pushing around those areas that I have had to curb. AT THE SAME TIME, I would totally be willing to wear a tank top and shorts for a first cuddle if I had their WORD that if I said I was uncomfortable with a certain kind of touch in a certain place that they would respect that for the rest of the session.

    Um, some people like me to wear socks because they don’t like feet. Some people prefer I don’t wear socks. That’s fine.

    I usually show up to appointments very nicely (IMHO) dressed and then change into my clean cuddling clothes. I feel like that sets a good tone of being professional. But I would feel very uncomfortable with a client ASKING me to wear a dress to a session.

    Underwear, topless, or furry costumes are DEFINITE NOS. :D

  • Clothing can be important for other reasons.
    I've been concerned about getting sick from a cuddling partner. Getting that close can cause pathogens to be inadvertently exchanged. So I now cuddle using this type of outfit (see picture). For some reasons this makes some potential cuddling partners uncomfortable. I really don't understand it.

  • Oh, I see I forgot the attachment.

  • edited September 2018

    I can't think of a good reason why someone would request me to wear something specific. It sounds like a big red flag. Maybe professionals would have a different take on it but as an unpaid cuddling enthusiast, it shouldn't matter what I'm wearing.

  • Deal breaker. Full stop.

    Tell me what to wear and I'll tell you what to do with that article of clothing.

  • A request is not a demand. It is asking not telling. That's why I always ask first if the cuddler takes takes clothing requests. If she says no I pursue it no further.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)
    edited September 2018

    @11rollover I get why someone might be uncomfortable with that outfit. I would much rather have sharpened meat hooks instead of those grabbing things at the end of the arms. The really great thing about that outfit is you don't need to be inside it for the cuddling. Just take a life size photo of your face and tape it to the helmet and you are good to go grab a burger.

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    Some really great and insightful responses and voting polls too! Keep your thoughts flowing and shared here on this topic! I would like to hear others too

  • I was once asked to wear a combination fencing outfit/scuba gear, complete with a cod piece from the 17th century. Not really, but a man can dream...

  • One of the best things about that outfit is that you can cuddle smokers, even when they are smoking, and it won't bother you at all.

  • [Deleted User]choicesvital (deleted user)

    ROFL

  • edited September 2018

    @Babichev - it definitely would matter what you were wearing if you wore something the person was allergic to. I'm allergic to any kind of wool or any other scratchy material..

  • I am frequently asked what I wear; I wear cotton shorts and tank due to the body heat generated and summertime weather, even with the air conditioner on. They are permitted to wear comfortable shorts and T-shirt or tank. This way we can both be comfortable. However, I decline a session completely when asked to cuddle nude, this happens way to often. Crossing boundaries is unacceptable, rude, and unprofessional. (Professional does not mean escort)
    @11rollover, I think I will use your outfit next time I am asked to cuddle nude - Ha Ha Ha Ha

  • @JaneBond, If he does ask for nude cuddling, you should tell him to "get ready" and leave the room. And then walk in 5 minutes later with that deep sea diver outfit on and use those metal plier things on him!
    Seriously though, I'm sorry that some guys cannot understand the purpose of this site or the boundaries. None of you ladies deserve that. I would encourage you report anyone who asks that of you.

  • You guys are a riot. Ya know what, I think I'll just shop wherever this guy shops to send the message loud and clear ... Gotta give it a pre-wash in holy water in order to bless the cuddle. Gonna keep the receipt though in case I bump into somebody who only pretends to love Jesus. LOL.

  • If it's not 100% alpaca, I couldn't possibly take them seriously.

  • [Deleted User]Bigguy4u (deleted user)

    I would request we cuddle in only the cheapest of knee and elbow pads. A set of them covering each arm and leg while the torso lay bare.

    Jokes aside, the only clothing requests i can think of are "wear something comfortable, sweat pants or leggings". Jeans feel rough after a while.

  • Agree with one of the comments above - if you're going full-pro with it then it could be an interesting addition. Otherwise it might be a bit excessive and indicative of other future requests.

  • Definently not. I like my style, and really like to make the cuddle session about connecting with me and my personality, not about how much skin contact Im willing to show by wearing shorts, or whatever it is that is requested of me.
    Just my personal take on it. :)

  • Just out of curiosity for those that said it would depend on what they asked you to wear as to whether you would wear it or not. Anyone willing to share something they asked you to wear that you did wear? Do you ever ask if what you will be wearing is ok? For instance, I love flannel pajamas in the fall and winter and thinking that is something I will wear when I host. Do they ever ask what you will be wearing? (one asked that i just not wear jeans or a sweater/sweatshirt which I understand that) I am fine by that.

  • [Deleted User]creedhands (deleted user)

    I believe this question has been edited since I answered. But, I have seen a cuddler profile say that they like to cuddle while role playing. I am not interested in role playing or costumes while cuddling. Also, I would not be comfortable wearing jeans, long sleeves, or other inflexible clothing. And wearing women's clothing is not an option for me.

  • @creedhands now that’s a cute answer. I just had a gentleman who is new ask for help trying to figure out what to wear cuddling. He wears a suit all day but if he walked out of the house in the morning with extra clothes he would get questioned. I told him if he tells me his size I would pick up a pair of pajama pants and plan T-shirt. He said he would pay me for them but he can’t take them home could he keep them here, I said sure. I know this is probably a crazy question but I am curious if anybody keeps their cuddlee’s clothes at their house. I had never thought about it but I have an empty dresser in my cuddle room anyhow.

  • I have spare shorts and pajama pants in size L in case of similar situations. One man, a business man, always wears the pants. It’s fine with me. I just wash them and put them in a Ziploc (so I remember that they’re clean) and throw them in my cuddle bag. I know some pros think that’s weird, but it’s honestly never been a problem for me.

  • @AndiCuddles no it’s absolutely not weird and a great idea in fact and I think that’s what I’ll do instead of having to get reimbursed for them. I have had 2 ask the same question and through conversation asked what they had worn with other cuddles and they have never cuddled. So, great idea.


  • I am thinking Rugrats or Scooby Doo!
    (LOL I am thinking they wouldn’t be able to concentrate on cuddling). I am going to look for plaid but didn’t find any today!

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