WOMEN: Opinions needed. Is this too intimate for a cuddle/first-time cuddle, or okay?

Long-time lurker here.

This is probably my favorite cuddle position. I really like laying in between my partner's legs, with my head resting on her belly and my arms around her torso.

I'm going on a date with a woman soon, and we're planning to cuddle at my place afterwards. I know, the whole, "just ask if she's okay with it, yada yada", and of course I'll do that, but I'm looking for your opinions - is it too intimate for a cuddle on a first date or is it okay?

  1. ?122 votes
    1. I'd like that!
      60.66%
    2. I'd like it, but It's too intimate for a first cuddle.
      32.79%
    3. I wouldn't like it.
        6.56%

Comments

  • Also - I don't know for sure (we met on Tinder), but I think she might be overweight. While I don't mind this at all, I know a lot of women are insecure about their belly area and don't like it being touched. Do you think that would play into this as well?

  • Why speculate? Someone on here might like it; she might dislike it. Everyone likes different things. Just ask her when you meet.

  • I mentioned that I know women have a variety of opinions... I'm just searching for general opinions.

  • just ask her while you are on the date

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    Everyone on here could say "no". She could say "yes".

    Did you create this thread just to rub it in that you have a date tonight and I don't? ?

  • [Deleted User]garysmith (deleted user)

    While it might be a cuddle position you prefer, It's about respecting the other person.

    If your cuddle partner is comfortable with it, then it is a lovely, comforting way in which each can cuddle the other, but for a first time it depends on how well you "click". However, if your cuddle partner does feel slightly self conscious about their weight, it's unfair to push them into this.... Maybe over time, and with increased trust, their body image may become less of an issue. Most of, listen to them about what they are happy with.

  • [Deleted User]SnuggleBuggler (deleted user)

    I would def like it, but I would want to be asked first because it is quite intimate. My insecurities about my tummy/body always dissipate when a partner has told me they love my body or that exact part of me. If she is body shy, say something encouraging like how relaxed you feel with someone to hold onto or how calming it is for you and how her body type is perfect. Try to avoid comments like “its ok, looks dont last anyway” and lean into what you love / enjoy about her tummy

  • [Deleted User]teapot (deleted user)

    Woman, here.
    Could be easily defined as a BBW.
    I'm totally okay with this.
    It's best to just ask her, though.

  • For the love of all, can we PLEASE let this one die?? Stop replying folks! It's established, he NEEDS to ask.

    Feel free to vote but leave it be!

    ?

  • edited October 2018

    Personally I would probably not mind, though not something I am big on.

    It seems you are/were nervous some. If it seems too soon, it probably is. Just the act of cuddling has elements of intimatcy. If a first time I'd advice sticking to the 'basics'. Meaning starting what you are currently comfortable with while also checking with her. With time then asking each other. Like I'd want to lay on my partner's back some, and their chest too. Yes, I like to lay on my tummy lots. lol. Though I'd check with them if they are comfortable with and gain fulfilment from too. Also switching up and communicating is key. It's about finding ways to strive to meet each others needs while also doing the same for respecting each other's need for comfort.

  • [Deleted User]rvyhvn (deleted user)
    edited October 2018

    Lol this thread. But sure why not I'll chime in peep this friendo: I met a girl. We went out. Sparks flying and all. Got to the moment of truth in a similar sense of what you're talking about here and she was shy about her body. Gave it a couple more dates. Then she loved how much I appreciated her and her body. When in doubt, just go with the flow man.

  • Intimate cuddle position I would say not for the first date, second maybe, third definitely!

  • Just an opinion from an old guy who has been around the block one to many times. This answer applies to a miriad of situations:
    If you have to ask, “Is this too xxxxx for a situation like yyyy,” the answer is obvious or you wouldn’t have asked. If you need to ask this question, turn it down a notch or two, and then as you get to know the person, something more intimate, and hopefully still within platonic boundaries will happen. Or not.

  • @mickcuddle - "If you have to ask, “Is this too xxxxx for a situation like yyyy,” the answer is obvious or you wouldn’t have asked. "

    I agree. That's not always the case but it is often enough.

    If a guy I'd never met before sent me a picture like that and said this is how he'd like to cuddle, I probably would not proceed with him. It would be a bit much coming from someone I didn't know.

    I know everyone says you need to ask her but I think in a situation like this, it's better to err on the side of caution because just asking indicates that's what you want to do and to me, it feels too much like this guy is looking for more than just platonic cuddling.

    I think a better question would be to ask her what positions does she like to cuddle in? What positions feel most comfortable to her? What positions, if any, are not okay with her? Ask her what she likes.

    The first guy I met off this site that I cuddled with . . . perhaps the nicest thing about it was that it felt like he was giving to me, rather than trying to get something from me. Do you understand what I mean by that? It was really lovely because I felt able to completely relax. With others, I felt like they were trying to take something from me and in the end I didn't want to go back. I'm getting better at identifying what is within my comfort zone and what isn't, but this is an area where you really don't want to push a woman.

  • @Aerospac3Geek - so, are you going to let us know what happened????

  • For those of my clients who are respectful enough not to slowly creep down / up to other parts of my body , then sure .
    But if he's someone who can't seem to keep control like he should , then no

  • this position in my opinion is great! go for it as long as she is comfortable with it.

  • [Deleted User]chococuddles (deleted user)

    @Babichev Got stood up? ???

  • [Deleted User]BigHugsCA (deleted user)

    Personally, I usually stay away from this one. I always feel like I'm "crushing" my cuddle partner. That said, I love to have my cuddle partner on my torso.

  • I mean aren't all cuddle positions intimate? That's sorta the point of the whole thing! I looove have people lay on me, its especially great for putting me to sleep lol

    Hope the date went well! ??

  • I actually ended up in this position on a first cuddle and precisely because of this thread. He and i were discussing threads while cuddling and he mentioned this picture and wanted to try it. It was a natural transition for us since we had already become comfortable with each other by that point. For me, it felt extremely nurturing, maternal, and protective. He is much larger physically than me but with his head resting on my ribcage, his arms wrapped around my lower back and the majority of his body weight off me it was so perfect. Even though I had a hard time in this position getting my arms and legs around him due to his physical stature and my petite size this position is very empowering for me. The opportunity to soothe his brow, smooth his curls, scratch his back and hug him deeply created a sense of maternal comfort. We actually returned to this position multiple times on both couch and bed. I never asked but by the number of times we returned to it or a variation of it I think it triggered the same feelings in him. Maybe bring him back to childhood and the memory of everything being alright in his mom's arms especially if you are comfortable to let him rest his head on your breast. Pillows of comfort for little boys.

    I assumed it would be sexually charged but it is actually the opposite for me at least. It's very reminiscent of baby bear, maternal triggering. I think I finally told him to just be still and set a timer for us to be in this position because he was so worried about his weight crushing me. It won't guys, not if you approach it correctly, you have most of your own weight and the woman only has, for me anyway, the weight of your arms, upper torso and head. I would actually love to know how women who try this find it. Potentially passionate or massively maternal. It's the mom spot, really. I think it reminds women who have given birth of the time your child was placed on your breast especially because with us he came up to my chest from below, between my legs. Intense protection and care for that living thing in your arms.

  • This is one of my favorite positions. First time cuddle too. If pro cuddler is comfortable with it

  • So since you're handy @melancholy do you tend to agree that this takes you back to childhood and a feeling total security in mom's embrace? Does it stir the little boy in you?

    I was one who voted in the poll initially that this was too advanced for first time. But now that I have and with a first time it feels so powerful. This could be a favorite for me also.

  • edited October 2018

    I dont think it's a problem I'd be more worried about my pelvis being crushed guys are heavier than they think but of she thick it would probably better than laying on someone bony

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