I feel bad having to say this but, I don’t agree with the anonymity and blank profile suggestions. I’m sure everyone on here is really nice, but Not everyone is. I wish we lived in a world where I could be safe just going to peoples houses to platonically cuddle, but we don’t, and I’ve been raped, molested and threatened before upon meeting people from online, unfortunately even in neutral public spaces.
I need all the information, (and red flags) I can get my hands on before taking that plunge, it IS an actual risk for me and other women. Again I don’t mean to offend anyone cause I’m sure y’all are nice people. But it only takes one bad to ruin a good bunch.
If anything I’d like more information, not anything weird like big data, but more like what they believe. Honestly it’s helpful on okcupid to see people’s question answers. It gives those red flags one wants to avoid. Or at the very least mandatory photos. I just feel that’s a basic standard of trust that needs to be set, if I can show my face, they should too. Right now it is an automatic no for me if someone doesn’t have a profile picture. And I’m sure I’m missing out because of that.
@chubbybunny I’m not so sure you’re missing out. If if someone is totally safe for you to meet, if you don’t feel safe you can’t enjoy the encounter. I’m sorry bad things have happened to you in the past, and I encourage you to be as safety-minded as you can.
@chubbybunny - I think it is ideal to not have any identifying picture if you are a non-pro. The risk is too great - you can get doxxed, you might attract the attention of dangerous, rapey people ( who I assume would have much lower motivation to pursue someone when they don't even know what their target looks like). So not having any identifiable pictures (or seeking to attract certain people pictures - think cleavage/bulge in shorts) is one way to avoid creeps.
I have personal experience on this. When I had a selfie as my profile picture, I got messages from men all over the country. While I love to cuddle, I am pretty selective about who I cuddle with - I did not want to cuddle with any of the people who messaged me - so those messages were not helpful. Besides, I really hate attention. One guy even said that he wants to move to my part of the country so that we could cuddle regularly. This freaked me out - although that was not the last straw. But at some point, I decided my life would be simpler if I removed my selfie and certain other information on my profile. I also changed the "Cuddles" section of my profile from "Everyone" to "Women" .
@SweetPeaMN - that is why I avoid messaging non-pros. I have broken down and done it once in a while, but I have observed that I have much easier time finding cuddle partners in face to face interactions instead of online interactions. I don't know all of the reasons for that, but the lopsided ratio is certainly a big reason.
I am new here, but on the profile, I do look for NONE smokers and none pet owners, myself, I have no pets, and a none smoker of anything, so I would not want to cuddle with a smoker, and I know some will not believe me, but, I can spell pets, dogs & cats on a person, even there home, I have been n some that it smells like a dog pound, but the pet owners don't notice it at all. I think it should be a rule to reply back, if a person takes there time to read a persons profile, type them a message, the least they could do is answer it, maybe a box, they just says, NO Thanks, we are not a good match, then they could click on it, just my 2 cents as a new member,
@chubbybunny I'm sorry you have had to go through what you have experienced, but there are many valid reasons not to have a public profile photo. This site allows you to have private photos and personaly if i am intrested in meeting someone i will share them along with my real name on the first contact. In adition i dont think many would be opposed to answering direct reasonable requests for information. but I dont see how making more information public would provide any additional safety or validity. to the contrary I think it could cause harassment, or discrimination far beyond this site. For instance someone could google a persons real name here along with their photo while preparing for an interview, not everyone is as kind and open-minded as the people i have seen here. Personally I have Googled myself using only my first name, age and a city and i was easily and without charge able to find a direct phone number, my home address, my last name, my email address, names of family members and where they live and more. useing photos is an excellent way to verify that information. So even giving up my name on the first Contact is very trusting in my opinion. My point is small things are big data in the world we live in. Having information on someone you intend to meet whether you are male, female,other is important . But I don't believe it is good for anyone to share more than what is absolutely necessary publicly. In this case the only reason I can see to have a public photo is to be sure you get more views of your profile. I believe more information should be shared through consent between two people. I hope this does not come accross as insensitive or mean, my only intent is to share my opinion, and i hope you find someone very kind who is able to put you at ease and deserve your trust.
"Or at the very least mandatory photos. I just feel that’s a basic standard of trust that needs to be set, if I can show my face, they should too."
@chubbybunny I can't argue with your preferences. People like what they like and want what they want. My problem is with the concept of "mandatory" profile photos. Regardless of the topic of discussion, most people seem to believe whatever seems best to them must be best for everybody, and therefore everybody should have to do things their way. "If I can show my face, they should too." That doesn't follow. Your situation and concerns are not identical to theirs. There are plenty of valid reasons for not posting profile photos. They have been listed ad nauseum on other threads, so I won't rehash them here.
I will say that there are plenty of women here with no profile pics. _Some of those women feel safer because they have not put their faces out there. _Since their need to feel safe is as valid as yours, the mandatory photo solution forces women like that to feel less safe so that you can feel more safe. Why not let everybody do whatever works for them?
@yourfriendbudy6 has made some very reasonable points above. Let me briefly add my own experience. I sent a photo to three women here and to no one else. It's a photo that I have never posted anywhere, nor sent to anyone else. Some weeks later I did a Google image search on the photo I sent and found it on a porn site. There can be no explanation for that other than at least one of those women not being on the up and up. Leaving my photos hanging out in public on a website that can't help but attract scammers just multiplies the risks exponentially.
I'm very sorry you have experienced the awful things you have. But the truth is, the site forcing everyone to post a profile pic wouldn't make you one bit safer than asking people to send a pic by pm. Do what you have to do to feel safe and confident, and let us all decide for ourselves what we need to do to feel likewise. I wish you many positive experiences in the future, along with safe and happy cuddling.
@chubbybunny - A mandatory photo would not help since people would just post a photo of the back of their head, or a doll, or their dog, or a sunset. You get the idea. By the way, I've seen all of those. In any case, there are lots of perfectly valid reasons why some people don't post a photo, and there is nothing forcing you to message them if you are uncomfortable with it.