I'm confused on what expectations should be in place...

TouchIsTLC

I was really on the fence about the whole hiring a pro to cuddle thing. After talking to a number of local and distant pros I did a 180 degree turn and decided pro cuddlers are like massage therapists - I'm paying for a service that is like pampering for myself. With that I was on board. I searched out a number of local pros and started talking to them, asking them questions about cuddles, attire, what to do if you get aroused, etc... wanting to know their experiences, preferences, professionalism, etc.. and who was willing to invest the time - to me cuddling is intimate, close and I'd like there to be some feeling of connection/positive vibes.

I whittled the list down. Now I have a handful of local pros and I've asked if they were willing to meet for a quick coffee - 15 to 20 mins to see if we're a good fit - I'm effectively auditioning them and I would assume them me with this process. Most are busy and managing our schedules to meet have been challenging, but I'm not in a rush, so I plow through. Most offer to just book a session and I explain again that I want to find a good match first, I am lucky to have a number of local pros to cuddle with and would prefer to meet first - something I've seen on a number of pro profiles - skype, phone or f2f before scheduling a session. I've even seen some that ask for a fee to meet, but give it back as a credit if you book a session - also reasonable.

Things seem good, I have 4 or 5 locals I'm attempting to schedule meetings with, they seemed open to it. Then one sends me this message:

HER
"If you want to talk on the phone for a bit that's fine, I don't really just meet with people and then hope they follow through and book a session with me. Usually people just go ahead and book me."

I reply with:

ME
"I definitely want to set up a short little coffee/tea face to face meeting before booking a session - I feel lucky that Sacramento has a number of pros that are very responsive and I want to meet them each first to decide which feels like the best fit - I would hate to book a session and then show up and not have any connection or vibe with the chosen pro. This is important to me as I want to feel a sense of connectedness to someone that I'm going to be spending time with.

If you prefer not to meet, that is fine and I can just cross you off the list. "

And this is what I get back:

HER
"Yeah, You seem like a time waster and there aren't many girls on here that are going to deal with that. It'd be no different than going to get a massage or other service and telling the person you want to go for coffee before hand. Go ahead and cross me off your list. I'll be warning other girls in the area about you as well."

So she BLOCKS me AND is now going to "tell all the other girls in the area about me as well." What the hell? Is this not a service based industry? Should I as a customer expect some customer service? Was I supposed to offer compensation other than coming to your area and buying you a coffee for a quick meeting? How was I rude? I did I, as the potentially paying customer do to deserve that reaction? Am I expecting too much from the pros that offer services on this site?

I think there are a number of local and distant pros and enthusiasts that can attest to my communication, my intent and my approach here on the site. I'm actually blown away. Please - feedback, thoughts, questions, comments, etc...

cuddlerforu24

There’s nothing wrong with interviewing the pro before, after all , you plan on paying them money, possibly for more than one encounter , it would be wise for a pro to invest some time for a potential cash cow,but I think both of you are wrong .

I don’t think you should have said I’ll “ cross you off the list “, you gave the other a feeling that they are defective in some way . It sounds like you plan to categorize them negatively in some way .Instead if they decline say nothing .
Likewise the pro countered with an not complimemyary rejoinder, and continued with an FYI that she will inform others that you are going to waste time . Sounds like you’re getting black balled

I’d like everyone here to have an equal opportunity for cuddles , regardless, that you are just making friends , or actively seeking paying encounters, or how fast or slow it takes to make up your mind.

TouchIsTLC

I meant "cross you off the list of pros I am trying to meet to decide who to book with" because if she doesn't want to do that, she's no longer an option.

As in I have a list of local pros that have passed through my personal list of criteria from their profiles, to our personal chat messages, etc... it's MY personal list.

I do concede that I could have written that last line better, I felt like she was telling me "book me or shove off..." don't "waste" any more of my time with your questions, needs or desires.

ADD: this was especially odd since her and I had exchanged over 30 messages back and forth since mid December.

EDIT: added content, fixed spelling error, added quotes.

pmvines

@TouchIsTLC If I am being honest, you likely are running the risk of coming across like you are just wanting to meet and hang out with some of these women which is time and effort on their part. So to them, not saying this is the case with you specifically, but to them it may seem like you are angling more at a coffee date or free cuddle time or that sort of thing. You used the comparison of a massage therapist. So if you are wanting to book a massage with somebody, would you ask them to meet you for coffee and a snack before deciding whether or not to book them? So not saying right or wrong or taking sides, but I can see why your requests are met with hesitation.

TouchIsTLC

Perhaps it would help to know that I've also met three local enthusiast in the same time frame? I'm not looking for a friend or date when talking to a pro - I'm looking for someone that is a professional at what they do to explore what that would be like compared to an enthusiast like myself.

Using the massage therapist analogy - that is someone that is already vetted - they went to school, training and have certification before they work as a masseuse (at least in my state) - their professionalism is assumed based on that prior training and their employer confirming said certification and training (not to exclude additional company specific training that may be required for employment).

I would definitely want to meet up beforehand with an unlicensed person offering a massage at their place or at a hotel, because I would assume they are not really offering (just) a massage. Not the same as a cuddle or what I'm looking for in a cuddle, especially with a pro. I think we all know there are more than a handful of pros and enthusiasts on here that offer more than cuddles, some subtly others pretty blatantly.

We have to take a pro's profile, presence on the boards, friends and karma as an indicator of their "qualifications" since no one is vetting their certificates and training and cuddle convention attendance buttons.

I guess the bigger question for the PROs that stop by to read this posting - do you offer, or even require a f2f meeting prior to booking a session? Would you agree to one with a new client that wanted one? Would you require compensation for that time? What else?

ubergigglefritz

I have talked with @TouchIsTLC . The way he conducts himself, I would never label him a time waster. The response of this professional just sounds pretty typical of the attitude of a lot of (not all) pros on this site. Just makes me groan and roll my eyes.

I don't go into town much, but if someone wanted to meet me beforehand and pay for a coffee or a meal, I would definitely be up for that AS IT FITS IN MY SCHEDULE. If I'm already in town for something else, then the only cost is something to put in my belly, lol. Hopefully that's not offensive O:-)

Personally, I love seeing a client doing their research to find the right professional. A cuddle session isn't cheap for most people and there are plenty who it would feel like a waste of money with. Save your money for those you feel earn it Keep doing what you're doing and ignore those who won't accommodate

PinkLipstick22

Eh, as an experienced pro this sounds off to me. I did the meet face to face with one person who ended up being a time waster (I made peace with it beforehand, but now I know not to trust people who ask for this), and no one has ever asked me since in the 5.5 years I've been doing this. I've seen a high number of clients from this site, the others I'm on, and through my independent advertising.

I'm lucky to meet fantastic clients who feel I'm a good fit for them. I'm siding with the pro here; you do you, but she's not wrong imo.

BlueIris

I don't mind meeting someone in public first, but if it takes 30 messages for someone to decide they want to meet me, I probably would think he's a time-waster, also.

cuddleversed

I also think that it sounds a little off. If you want to hire a pro just send a message and ask the basic questions, send a picture and ask about availability. That should be all that is needed, there are no assurances that you will click with the pro even if there's a pre meeting before the session. I saw a pro last year and the session was pretty blah and it was pretty obvious that she was just trying to make some money but I wouldn't have been able to know that from having a cup of coffee with her so I just filed it under "don't call again" and I moved on. But I cannot imagine pros having to make time to meet with every potential client with the hope he might book a session, from what I gather their schedules are busy enough as it is.

So just take a chance, find a pro with good karma or one that has a nice profile and have a nice relaxing time, no need to over think it.

Good luck

TouchIsTLC

Fair enough, I appreciate all the feedback.

It seems there are definitely two camps here for the pros and enthusiasts - some that appreciate and see the value in finding the right match/fit and would welcome a pre cuddle session (like I mentioned some pros I viewed actually require it and offer a credit for that time spent (as they charge for it) if and when the client decides to book with them) and those that don't think it's necessary at all. I don't fault either of camp, to each there own, I definitely fall into the former.

As you can probably tell from my posts above alone, I like to share my thoughts and thought process, always have things churning in my head and make decisions based on information first and foremost. I will definitely focus my time on those that appreciate my diligence and thoroughness as opposed to those that think it's a waste of their time. For the pro in question, I am sorry that you felt I was wasting your time, I was actually leaning toward you a lot as my first choice as you seemed the most sincere and sweet/nice, just needed a little push as you also felt guarded and not so enthusiastic. I'm usually a pretty good judge of character and I think a 15-20 min coffee meeting would definitely give me all the information I would need on whether or not to schedule a session - I assume a lot of pros have that same kind of radar.

Again, thank you to those that offered their input, regardless of the direction. I think it resulted in a healthy discussion about what pros and clients might want - is there a list of expectations? Costs? Travel expenses? Discounts for hotels? etc... I've read on some posts how it "used to be" and how "it is now" and the change doesn't seem to be good for the clients and then in turn, also bad for the pros.

TouchIsTLC

@ubergigglefritz Thank you! That was very kind and sweet of you! An example of a pro that I've spent time chatting with that is currently our of reach, but has made me feel entirely valued as a person, shared who she is, why she does what she does and whom I would book without a f2f in a heartbeat if we're ever close enough to cuddle! Just saying... there's something to being a pro that some have and some don't...

I have to side with the pro as well, if you don’t get a feeling after 30 messages back and forth, meeting is just a waste of time for her, plus you told her you’re meeting with others in hopes to find that perfect fit and match. I would’ve done the same thing as there is no guarantee that she will get the job so to speak. When I book a pro, we message back and forth with questions and I get a sense right away, if it doesn’t work then I move on. I’m not looking for a life partner for cryin out loud. I just want to cuddle :-)

TouchIsTLC

Just FYI ~15 of those messages back and forth were discussing and trying to coordinate meeting, something she seemed to be quite on board with two weeks ago.

Each to their own I guess, I'm not mad at you, you do you, and I'll do me.

TouchIsTLC

Hahhaa… DAMN... So this site has a HUGE fallacy to it - someone can leave you negative karma, then block you so you can't reply/return the favor... Karma based on nothing - never even met this girl. Shameful system you have going here mods.

That is not cool.

ubergigglefritz

Some people are lucky enough to have choices. Choices in general are good! If I were a pro who was as busy as I wished to be, then I would be less inclined to accommodate requests that take a lot of my time. If I were NOT as busy as I wanted to be, and I lived in an area with lots of competition, then I would certainly be willing to work to find my quality clients. I'm in an area with minimal competition and I spent 10 hours networking last week, 4.5 hours communicating with clients and potential clients, 3.25 hours on admin (likely working on my website, I forget), and over 1.5 hours active in the community (here, facebook groups, etc). I spent two hours "working" with no pay. So yeah, I worked over 21 hours working on building my business last week and made $0. Remember this the next time someone wants to complain about our rates ;-) Just saying that those of us who want to build our business put in a lot of unpaid time to try to get good clients. I don't fault pros who don't want to accommodate potential clients who have time costly needs, but personally, my business isn't at the point where I couldn't meet up with someone when I'm already in town anyway. Generally the thing that gets me less inclined to keep trying to accommodate someone is if they have attempted to schedule a meeting or a session at least a couple times (and subsequently plans fell through). Another difference may be whether this is a side gig or a full-on business attempt for the pro. This is my top priority, so it will be a lot easier to meet up with me or schedule with me than someone who has another job. There's nothing wrong with that, but it's going to give a client a different experience in the effort required (and flexibility in accommodating their restricted schedule). I respect someone who wants to find the right fit. We're all different. That's one reason why I wish I knew some cuddlers in my area. It's more about finding the right place for everyone's needs to get met than my getting the most money I can from anyone I can convince to give me money =P [shrug]

"If you prefer not to meet, that is fine and I can just cross you off the list. "

If I were a Pro that would probably be enough to cross you off MY list.

Tho it does seem like you tried and if half of the 30 messages were trying to set something that's a shame.

But it seemed like you were trying to find a soulmate instead of a cuddle buddy.

If you can't get the Infinity Gauntlet sometimes a mitten will do.

pmvines

@TouchIsTLC I reiterate my point that if you are trying to get a bunch of paid cuddlers to agree to coffee dates without a booking for a session a lot of the time it will not be seen as worth the time. Not because they are not a good person or valuing your feelings or what have you, but because this is time and time is money. It would be different if you are trying to meet with someone who is not a paid cuddler but for someone who depends on this for income you might have unrealistic expectations. Again, you would not ask a massage therapist or manicurist to take their person time to do the same would you?

KaiCuddles

I completely agree with @pmvines - and think your expectations might be a bit unrealistic. And just to add- Getting ready to meet someone for coffee, having coffee with them, and then transporting myself there and back would probably take at least an hour of my time. This is an hour that I’m not being paid for and one that could essentially cost me money (since I now won’t be able to book a session or work at my other job during that hour). AND on top of that you’re a potential client who’s literally auditioning different pros in person with no commitment to book.

At the end of the day I think most pros are more than accommodating when it comes giving potential clients an opportunity to get to know them better (whether through a phone convo, video chat, or briefly meeting for coffee right BEFORE a session). We do this because we want you to feel as comfortable as possible, however, you also have to be considerate of our time. Not to mention, there are MANY time wasters who consistently try to take advantage of pros.. so asking us to essentially audition while spending our free time with you at a cafe, might definitely raise a flag or two.

@TouchIsTLC : I love what you did and I think that is the ideal way to go about a professional cuddler. This is more intimate than a massage. People often feel really vulnerable during cuddles. It would be awful to have that vulnerability with someone you would not feel even a connection to. So trying to see if a rapport could be built beforehand is ideal.

However, it is perfectly understandable that not all pro-s might want to go through this - they are spending time with a client and not making money - few people would want to be in that situation. So it might be ideal to offer the pro money for the amount of time you two would spend to establish a rapport - with a decided minimum amount (so that you don't pay them only for 5 minutes if you are dissatisfied and unwilling to hire them after 5 minutes of interaction).

More experienced professional cuddlers - for example, the ones with training (Aside: almost all the cuddlers on cuddlist.com), - or a professional cuddling establishment like cuddleuptome in Portland, OR - actually insist on a phone/skype/f2f conversation free of charge before committing to cuddle with a client. I suspect when professional cuddling becomes more mainstream, this pre-cuddle interaction would become standard.

On a related note, I see a lot of karma by banned users on a pro's profile. It could be that the pro was the one who got that user banned. In those cases, I wonder what the pro went through and how they felt before they decided to report that person....Sometimes, users who are disrespectful (sadly, sometimes that is an insufficient euphemism for truly horrible behavior) and push boundaries somehow avoid getting banned. I have noticed people with multiple 5-star reviews get banned all of a sudden. In another thread, @pmvines was talking about someone like that who has avoided being banned so far and has stellar reviews. I think cuddling professionals would be able to avoid a lot of such users if they encouraged or insisted on a pre-cuddle interaction. Honestly, anyone can appear respectful and nice over a couple of messages on this website - it is harder to hide one's true intentions while interacting real time.

The caveat in all this is that the pre-cuddle interaction can't be a free 2-hour date in a coffee shop - that would be unsustainable for the professional.

tallteddy

@TouchIsTLC Are you aware that you're taking up the time of 4 or 5 different pro's while you're only planning on booking one? That's wasting the time of 3 pro's. If you've been talking to them since December but haven't had a cuddle yet, you're probably wasting your own time too!

Now I don't claim to know people very well, but you seem to want to have a lot of control. I'm not saying that you want things that are unreasonable, but it seems like you do want people to do things your way. Not everyone will want to follow your way, and if that's the case, just leave them be. Especially if you want to take a month to book an appointment with only one out of a handful of cuddlers.

Jade25

I understand that cuddling is very intimate and you want your money's worth, but from what you said, you do come off as a "time waster." A cuddler has to take time out of their day to come see you without any pay or a guarantee that you'll book him/her anyway.

I personally do not meet people before a booking, but I do offer to text them and have a brief phone conversation. I have also video chatted with potential clients for free so that they can have a good idea of how I am and what I look like. I've had people waste my time by trying to use me as a texting buddy for weeks without any intention of scheduling me.

We aren't trying to come off cold or heartless, but if EVERY client wanted to meet without scheduling a session, then our time is essentially wasted in the long run.

pmvines

@Jade25 I agree. Your time as well as others here are not valued if folks expect to have a coffee date to interview every potential cuddler

@pmvines you have stated SO many times that you don't use professionals since apparently you are in an elite class of enthusiasts that the professionals use for their recharge. Plus as stated in your bio you have a degreed position with a health care system. Unless you are in the same position as many other cuddlers on here please don't add you self important two cents; the pros are capable of standing up for themselves.
For the majority of the people on this site finances are a primary issue, many don't have healthcare unless it was forced on them by the useless Obamacare. I've worked as a rep for BCBS, I've fielded calls about the crap choices available through the marketplace. It's been three years since I left that side of things but at the time massage therapists, acupuncture and even a few chiropractic services weren't a covered benefit. Professional cuddlers are definitely not a covered benefit.
I live on the edge of a large metropolitan area, once outside of that area wages drop dramatically. $16.00 is considered a good wage, not enough to live on but an average upper starting wage. Now let's say I have some medical conditions that make it impossible for me to hold a job above the level of fast foods, retail, or big box stores. Around here they pay about 11.00 an hour as a standard.
I could benefit from the services of a cuddler but because of my unique disability people don't enjoy being close to me so no enthusiasts to cuddle. I don't need monthly medications but the day to day cost of living in our rural areas or even suburban areas of Minnesota will require large amounts of heat to be paid for, rent, groceries, vehicle maintenance and repair because public transportation outside an uber or luft is non existent.

Pros across the country with only a few exceptions I've seen so far charge $80.00 as a base, even if the local economy can't support those rates. Places like St Cloud or Mankato are well populated but few people would consider a professional anything at 80 an hour. The economy would better support a professional at $60.00 for the sake of argument. So I can't find a volunteer cuddler so I resort to a professional, possibly overpriced, for my area. I make $12.00 an hour so I'd have to work 8 hours to pay for one hour. 8 hours out of 40 for only one hour. You can be darn sure that just like my massage therapist or my chiropractor I WILL be interviewing that professional, I'm planning to give them 1/5th of my paycheck for only one hour. That's precious to me so we sure better fit well.

Everyone on this post so far has called OP a "time waster". No he's not. He even stated in one example 15 of the 30 texts had been missed responses. He's using his time to research professionals, he's using his time to reach out each of those times. He's using a portion of his pay to help his health. Not to mention every Tom, DICK, and Percy cutting him down is probably making his health worse. Don't any of you have anything better to do?! @patTheCuddler & @cuddleversed - BOTH of you have chimed in on the unprofessionalism of pros on this site. You haven't had similar experiences to the OP? Then you're lying, a quick name search of the forums bring up multiple posts where each of your opinions match his. As does yours vines.

I read the posts just like everyone else. Good grief, how many are dedicated to nothing but how bad the professionals on this site are? Their unwillingness to respond, last minute cancellations without refunding money, the fact that their body aroma or breath was so bad one commenter had to burn his sheets.

@Jade25 stated she'd do a video or other sterile meet, no offense Jade, but whats his guarantee he wont have to toss his sheets because you smell like smoke, or are covered in pet dander or any other issue that's only discernable in person? Will you give him a full refund if upon entering a clients home the sense of smell finally reveals an offense? What if the clients smell is offensive to you? Why should you be allowed to keep the first hours worth if its determined neither of you can stand being physically close for more then 10 minutes? Especially when you refused to meet in person?

The topics and comments in both forums go on and on about the unprofessional and I'll personally ad, scummy behavior, of a person charging 80 or more an hour! If that happened to TLC his bottom line would take a further hit. He needs to take time to get ready, he needs to schedule that coffee into his life also, he probably even stresses more about first impressions because of the other common denominator in these forums - demand outweighs the product - so even if he's offering to pay that doesn't mean a guarantee of acceptance(another foum gripe).

Timewaster my foot. Unlike any other professional other than professional escorts; professional cuddlers are completely unregulated and the ones on here at least, have a strong profiteering element to it. I know what I'm getting when I go to a Massage Therapist or other professional. They have to maintain minimum standards required by the department of health if nothing else.
I'm glad so many know-it-all's here can attack one man because he's made the decision for his health to Invest in a cuddler. I have no idea who he is, what the economy is like around his residence, or even his income level; but I'm 98% sure he's having to adjust his budget, possibly get a pt job or pick up more hours to meet with a professional. Those women are wasting his time also.
Seriously, unless you now his circumstances quit judging him - all of you! Wow.
In fact touch is TLC, go to a reputable place to find a professional. The ones on here, outside of a handful; are crap. Ive seen three pros here mention that they do free days, or offer a first meet free with provisio(the above mentioned handful). The commercial locations like Cuddle Sanctuary and other do as well. They understand that rather then accusing potential clients, who can refer other clients through word of mouth; of being timewasters it's an opportunity to educate one more person. A chance to make a future reliable source of income. Each new client is a potential for recurring regular income which can be added to base operating expenses. What are these amazing professionals everyone is bragging on here doing to actually invest in themselves! Don't even get me started on the fact that this "professional" blocked him. Real professional there - just don't answer anymore of his messages don't block a possible source of income! Unless she's the Soup Nazi, she's destroying her own business by refusing sources of income.

Cuddleuptome in Portland was mentioned earlier. They have a searchable index of professionals around the country. @TouchIsTLC find a more reputable site to draw professionals. I don't hold even one message against you.

Stepping off my soapbox now. I'm out.

ubergigglefritz

Everyone do you, but I agree with a lot of what @SweetPeaMN said. But I tend to not be real popular on here with the other professionals, lol O:-) My relationships with professionals is a lot better on other platforms. Patterns are sometimes interesting... I value my relationships with other professionals I have elsewhere, but there just seems to be a lot of aggression on here towards people genuinely seeking our services. There seems to be a lot more compassion elsewhere. I don't know. It's weird here. There are always exceptions to every rule, and there are plenty of good professionals on here, so don't assume I'm talking about you. It's just a pattern I've noticed, and the fact that I stand up for the clients seems to put me on a lot of professionals' bad lists... If I didn't have compassion and understanding for the population of people seeking this service, I wouldn't be doing this work. I don't get it. Oh well =(

ubergigglefritz

And note that this has NOTHING to do with someone's decision on whether they have time to do "free" meet and greets or not. It has to do with how you handle and respond to someone coming to you requesting one. It's not "professional" to say something along the lines of "you're a time waster; buh bye!"

And know that there is a very active and well-known professional cuddler who regularly "works" at a local Starbucks for some time of the day for people to come meet her. No charge, donations accepted. She understands that this is a very intimidating service for people to request. It's new. People don't know what it is. They may never have done cuddling with a stranger and it may make them nervous. Myself personally, I know people who have taken MONTHS to request a session from me after thinking about it for all that time. This is a HARD thing to ask for. It doesn't help people get comfortable with professionals yelling at them that they need to do this or that or stop wasting their time.

Even if you don't have time to do that for potential clients, having a little bit of understanding and compassion about what people are going through just to ask for a session, and trying your best to make them comfortable, seems to be a minimum requirement for this job.

This is just further proof that anyone seeking this service should do all they can to try to find the professional who is the right fit for them. There are many professionals who I don't get, but who are very successful and have a lot more clients than I do, so they obviously are good at what they do. But I also know there are lots of people seeking these services who respond to and NEED the unique offering I provide, that which they can tell pretty easily from my posts in the forum. Professionals are all different.

As @SweetPeaMN reminded us, there is no regulation here, so professionals vary widely from person to person. You can't count on anything when you "hire" a professional. Do your homework, and don't spend your money if you're not comfortable and confident with that professional. This is a lot of money for most people, and I grow tired of people messaging me sad or frustrated because they just wasted their money after saving up for a session for months =P If anyone were to feel that terribly after a session with me, I'd rather refund them the money than have someone feel like that =( I need the money, but the core of my work is for the client.

pmvines

@SweetPeaMN wow did i sleepwalk and piss in your wheaties or something? Not sure where all that came from. A bit hostile out of the gate toward me, as you have been toward me on several other forum threads. If you disagree with something I have said I welcome debate. I don't feel anything I have said in response to OP question, which he did pose to illicit responses, and was not just done to get praise and agreement from others I presume, was done in a hostile or personally offensive manner. You seem to imply I shouldn't be allowed an opinion on the matter because I don't pay to cuddle but this is a forum where all users express their thoughts on various things. You state the paid cuddlers are able to use their voices and speak for themselves just fine without us chiming in. I agree with you on that, and reading through many of the responses are indeed from the paid cuddlers who express the same sentiment that I myself have given. I don't feel OP is necessarily a time waster. In fact my first post addressed to him is that he may run the risk of being perceived as a time waster, or someone wanting to spend time with a cuddler without having to book a session, kind of like the person who hovers around the free sample tables instead of purchasing a meal. I don't necessarily feel this is his intent, however he did inquire about his actions and why are they often met with hesitation. And since you are getting personal with my details, just because i dont pay to cuddle doesnt mean i dont have a basic opinion about how the service industry works, or an opinion about the value of space and work time vs personal time. Plus i have a huge amount of respect and love for the cuddlers and users of this site, whether they are a client, get paid to cuddle, or otherwise. You included. And yes i have a degree and work in the medical field, as you stated. I am indeed a medical social worker who does home hospice care. Social workers are not wealthy by any means trust me, especially when they are single parents to children with special needs, who also helps family and friends who are financially struggling. Though i shake my head at the absurdity of your assertion that it would matter to begin with, however i do feel you brought it up to pick at in an attempt to justify your beef with me so i feel it is only fair to clarify for you. Again, I am not sure why you seem so ready to pounce and take things to a personal level. Kind of pointless and unproductive really. I do hope you have a good day though, and I harbor no ill will toward you. I do feel you have made it a point in this thread as well as others to go after me with the personal insults as though you have got some fort of agenda, which I find to be a bit odd...

Jade25

@SweetPeaMN

First of all, I am still taking time out of my day to sit down and have a video chat with someone, text and chat on the phone. An offensive smell? Actually, yes. I have had clients with an "offensive smell" because some of them had embarrassing conditions and that would be humiliating to have to disclose that to me.

You interview your massage therapist before booking an appointment, really? I have gone to massage therapists and never had the chance to interview them and I book them based off of reviews and recommendations.

You're sure making a lot of assumptions. Obviously my profile states that I have pets and I'm not a smoker. Any concerns a client has about me I address it immediately. Any concerns I have about them I ASK.

Why so much hostility towards cuddlers that simply cannot have a "FREE" day to have a coffee meet and greet? Some of us do have jobs and a life outside of cuddling. I don't know about other cuddlers and it's none of my business, but I DO uphold high standards for myself and I DO care about the clients.

I DO NOT like to waste my time when I could be helping someone that is genuinely seeking a cuddle service. I HAVE already wasted my time on people that just wanted to waste my time, and I'm sure many others, so we have every right to be careful with how we spend our time with potential clients.

TouchIsTLC

@SweetPeaMN I heart you. Thank you for reading and u understanding the whole thing and stepping up on that soap box!

We are the clients, don't clients and their dollars dictate which professionals get paid and work? At least for us as individuals?

I'm just curious WHAT the standards are.... like I mentioned MANY pros have an option to meet and get PAID for that meeting and then give credit for that meeting with a future cuddle session. I asked for nothing more than that as it seemed to be reasonable.

And I expect each of my enthusiasts to meet for coffee for free... going on four now in less than 3 months i must be doing something right. All of which have resulted in one or more additional cuddle sessions.

I'm glad for all the input on both sides - pros and enthusiasts alike. Common ground is reached through discussion.

Also note - negative Karma was removed not sure of it was due to my request or the pro who posted it and didn't want to be outed based on this discussion (as everyone could clearly see by looking at my profile). Karma is, well, karmic.

BTW - on the pro front, had my first face to face with an awesome local pro, she was kind and nice and a good fit and well get some of my future business. The 20 min she shared and the latte I purchased were great, she didn't request payment past that and welcomed a future booking. System works, even with the hiccups.

TouchIsTLC

How many of you hire a lawyer or doctor or other costly service from a PROFESSIONAL without research and potentially meeting them? BTW - I never have even with a PPO there are dozens of resources to search before choosing...

Just food for thought - you're either a "professional" or you're not... each comes with their own caveats and baggage.

Melancholy

Seems silly to me to expect pro cuddlers to spend time having coffee with every prospective client. They have lives. Most of them anyway. They also have a lot of guys who waste their time just wanting to chit chat. The original poster doesn't understand that there's no way they can read his mind and know he's not a time waster. He should be mad at other guys who have set up meets for no reason than to hang out with a cute girl for free.
It's like a guy getting mad at girls who won't trust him right off the bat after they've had a few jerks creep on them. Don't blame the pro. Blame other guys. Be more understanding.
We should be grateful these women put their safety on the line by meeting us with so little to go on.

ubergigglefritz

@melancholy As a professional, there is both a professional and an unprofessional way to deal with clients. Whether they are good clients, boundary pushers, or time wasters. In the end, my aim is to maintain my professionalism ? I don't think the OP would have had as much of a negative reaction if the professional had acted professional regarding the matter ?

My response (if I were in this professional's shoes, combined with my own personal stuff): It sounds like you will require a complimentary meet and greet first. I can understand. This is an investment for many people and professionals are all different, so it's hard to tell in advance who will be the best fit for you. Unfortunately, I keep pretty busy between my different jobs and personal responsibilities, so I am not able to meet people in person before a session has been booked, without any compensation. I do offer discounted public sessions if that would be of interest. Otherwise, I hope to hear from you soon I'm you decide you want to book a session. ?