Accurate pictures

unforgettable

Should professionals be required to post accurate pics? I met with one where it turned out all of their pics, and they have several, we’re probably 5 years and 30lbs ago. I’m not trying to be shallow but you are getting hired, at least to some degree, based on your looks.

RJCar

I think it should be accurate, you should also mention it in the karma review for others to see.

JuneFullMoon

Definitely they should be up to date, not that any other site should be used as so, but catfishing on this site totally demeans the the experience that one is looking for.

Most similar websites have us send a face pic with a written note to admin... I think that should have to be done every once in a while on these types of sites. Cause yes, I 100% agree. I know that this isnt about sex or anything like that... But you(As the person hiring us) at least want to see the REAL and UPDATED pics of who they are speaking with. I think I might start posting a pic with a written date on a paper... just for myself...

unforgettable

It’s just about honesty. I get that someone that has been on the site for an extended period will older pictures. However, when you have more than 10 pics posted and they are all old, and then I see you add “new” ones that are also clearly outdated by several years and dress sizes, what you doing is purposefully deceptive. This has nothing to do with fat shaming or anything someone might use to write this off. Most of the women I have met from here have been ones with big boobs and some extra cushion. Personally, I prefer to cuddle with someone with curves. I just think that the professional providers should be honest with their potential
clients.

chubbybunny

Yes and no. I’m not going to worry if they’ve gained some weight, but pics should be mostly accurate. If you’re 85 and you have your high school pics up, that’s not great. But if you used to be goth but switched to a country look, but otherwise look the same mostly. I see no issue

Chocolatetreat

Try to FaceTime them first

pmvines

My pics are all up to date and accurately average.....

I agree that pictures should be accurate. I meet a cuddler and his pictures didn't have any facial hair. When we meet at Starbucks he had as much facial hair as Santa Clause. I couldn't tell if he was the same person as his profile pictures. We didn't cuddle.

Of course they should, why shouldn't they?

I put a bit in my 'About me' that says when my main profile pic was taken. Maybe I should make a note of which one's the most recent and when it was taken, too. Yeah, I think I'll do that.

Catloaf

Just ask to either video chat with them, or ask if they can somehow verify they are who they say they are in real time. It's that simple. If they don't, then don't meet with them.

While I agree that photos should be up to date, I look at it more as a safety thing. I need to know who is opening the door. I don't care about your age or weight, though the person I'm cuddling with may be insecure with their weight or age so if someone is using a photo they took when they were more confident, who am I to bloody judge?

That you call somebody's weight gain into question kind of is an ass move to make. You don't ultimately know why someone is using an outdated photo. Perhaps they aren't photogenic people or don't like taking pictures of themselves and they picked one that makes them feel good, but they would be happy to send you an updated one if you asked. If that's a deal breaker for you then move along.

This is a complaint I see more frequently regarding dating sites, and that's not what we are. For some of us it isn't just about physical attraction. There are different types of attraction to begin with, so you are not wrong, but you are blanketing an entire community which is never helpful.

pmvines

@Catloaf You are totally right in that there could be many reasons someone uses an outdated pic. I have been on here over 2 yrs and only just very recently updated my pics. Laziness really more than anything i suppose, that and i never look at my profile page so out of site out of mind. I am glad i did update them though, as they are recent and in cooler weather so i get to wear my cold weather clothes which always make me feel more stylish lol

PeopleLikeUs

I could care less. In fact I'm the type that would be more inclined to cuddle a person that needs to be cuddled, rather than the money.

unforgettable

@Catloaf you say it’s an ass move to make but you apparently didnt read everything I wrote. Maybe you should take time to read EVERYTHING before insinuating I’m an ass or fat shaming someone. This person has around 14 pictures and recently posted new ones. I shouldn’t have to ask for more photos of someone. If they are a “professional” on here, I should be able to trust what they are posting is accurate and honest. I shouldn’t have to ask for pictures. I’m sure the ladies on here already deal enough with the endless stream of pervs asking for pics with no intention of booking.

How am I “blanketing an entire community?” How is wanting honesty from the people on here saying, “Pay me money to spend time with you” blanketing a community? You said, “who are you to judge.” Well, if you’re advertising yourself one way that is deceptive, then you deserve to be judged. Someone said I should post on their Karma about it. Problem is the he said/she said. I post that and they come back with something that’s not true that I said or did. Then who do you believe?? I’m sure most would believe the lies being told....why? Because, as you already did, you jump to a conclusion that I’m shallow because I raised a question about weight, therefore, I’m probably guilty of whatever is alleged. This isnt about weight, it about being honest in how you represent yourself to potential clients.

@unforgettable: Um. You are the one who said pro cuddlers "are getting hired, at least to some degree, based on your looks." Like @Catloaf said, there are different types of attraction. Members of the cuddling community do tend to look for people they're attracted to in some way, yes, but implying that looks are important to everybody is... problematic.

There are understandable reasons for not posting up-to-date pictures. So ask for a recent picture, or a video call, or something, if looks really matter to you that much.

Catloaf

I didn't say you are in fact an ass. I said bringing up weight and age is an ass move. I haven't jumped to any conclusion, your OP reads like a complaint I'd see on POF Forums rather than here, but what's new. I think everybody here agrees that a professional should have photos that are as updated as possible. The issue I see is with how you approached the topic.

This isnt about weight, it about being honest in how you represent yourself to potential clients.

Although I know you were just giving an example based on your own experience, I don't see how weight or age needed to enter the equation if that's truly not what it was about. Would you say the same things regarding something as equally benign as, say, someone's hair colour being different or them having a few crooked teeth? I highly doubt it.

Being "honest" doesn't mean you need to poke people's soft spots.

Just because someone doesn't update their photo does absolutely not mean that someone is trying to deceive.

People are people, not products.

There are some professionals who do not update photos frequently for privacy. I am one of them, because I do not want my privacy violated and taking a new photo more than once a year is a higher risk that I can be recognised and pestered in places I don't want to be pestered in. I've put on maybe 10lbs give or take since my photo was taken in August, and how I've changed since then physically is nobody's bleeding business but my own.

unforgettable

@Catloaf Yes, people do change hair color. I do t see that as a big deal. Again, this person had 14 pics and has posted new ones recently and are not remotely accurate. @DarrenWalker saying looks are important is problematic?? Anyone that is paying someone to cuddle is making a decision based on looks. Anyone that says anything different is lying.

@unforgettable: Saying anyone who pays someone for a cuddle is definitely making a decision based on physical appearance... that's blanketing an entire community, and it's problematic. Call me a liar for saying it if you like, but the truth remains true: not all attraction has to do with looks.

Catloaf

How am I “blanketing an entire community?”

?

Anyone that is paying someone to cuddle is making a decision based on looks. Anyone that says anything different is lying.

?

pmvines

Holy contradiction in terms Batman!!

unforgettable

Say what you want but it’s fact.

@unforgettable: Then we disagree on a basic premise. How fascinating.

Do you really believe that attraction is always about physical appearance? You've never wanted to spend time with someone you knew only through text, or been drawn to someone because you liked their personality? I know you say it is, but is it really impossible for you to like a person and want to spend time with them unless you think they're good-looking?

You can't want to cuddle people unless you like the way they look... that's amazing.

unforgettable

You cannot tell me that seeing someone pics isnt the catalyst to engaging in a text conversation. You may find something in the conversation that make you want to meet but it starts with seeing a photo. Facts

@unforgettable: You mean it doesn't start with seeing the stuff they say in the forums and thinking that they're a really cool person? Wow, I've been experiencing cuddle attraction all wrong.

See, @unforgettable, I'm here to cuddle people. The bodies they show up in make a difference mainly because the body I'm in has sensory issues—if their body has a powerful odor that triggers my gag reflex or something like that (note: this has only happened once), then the cuddle's off. But otherwise I don't really care so long as I like the person, whoever she, he, or xe is.

You can't tell much about a person from looking at pictures of their face and body. For me, it's the things people say that trigger the I-want-to-snuggle-with-you-so-much-right-now attraction.

Facts.

And now I'm going to work. Yay....

UKGuy

I don't see why age and weight should be a sensitive issue, it's right there in everyones profile (Height, Body Type and Age). It even has the ages that people will cuddle, meaning if you are outside those limits, they won't. Why is it ok to exclude people based on age, but not based on body type?

@UKGuy: It's a fair question. I don't see much sense in it myself. What little sense I see has to do with the different worlds people of different ages grew up in. Older and younger age groups have a lot to learn from each other, but sometimes their worldviews clash in really unpleasant ways.

Age and weight are sensitive issues mainly because society's made them so. Get discriminated against because of your age or mocked for your weight often enough, and it's like being hit over and over again: eventually you bruise. [shrug] Sensitive issue.

Also, of course everyone has preferences. Just think carefully about why you pick what (and who) you pick, and don't assume everyone chooses using the same criteria you do, and you should be more or less fine.

I think.

pmvines

@UKGuy brings up a valid point re body type, age, etc and preferences being part of the question on a profile. So it stands to reason it an accurate photo would be used considering personal appearance info is on the profile description. However people also tend to fudge that part too, not listing actual age, body type, etc. Typically i dont think someone is being deceptive for bad reasons, could have to do with body image issues, low self esteem, fear of rejection, etc. The OP is referring more so to paid cuddlers not using accurate pics or descriptions, however i see it applying to everybody as a lot of people on here, on other sites, and in the real world, are not always honest and do what they can to portray something other than their true and accurate self. Just look at the part on a driver license that asks your weight and original hair color lol. In all honesty i dont get worked up or upset about it, as i am more interested in the person than their appearance, weight, age, etc. I also realize when it comes to pics, everybody has their favorite ones of themselves which might or might not always be up to date photos but are still their go to ones. Like the Christmas decorations that have been brought out got the past 15 yrs and not been replaced regardless of how outdated they are. When you have a favorite something, it is hard to find a suitable substitute.

pmvines

And for the record, i do agree with @Catloaf in that yes, it can be an issue and shows a certain amount of dishonesty, but the way it is being presented does seem more like OP is getting bent out of shape that his "purchase" is not as pretty and shiny as he had initially thought. Just because you are paying for a service does not make the person providing the service a mere product. Whether it is the intent or not, it does indeed come off as a bit of an ass thing, at least in how it is presented. You can be defensive, however it is your words that you used that are being discussed and rebutted so no need to be angry for being challenged on it. You have your position to take. I respect it. However i do not agree.

I have tried this site a couple of times and the original poster is spot on. I never want to hurt someone, but the pros on here are often unrecognizable in person. Snapchat filters really are deceiving.
I have never complained to the pro but thought it was poor etiquette. Now the Denver area has several new pros and they all only have 1 picture and I am afraid to book.
I also had a married pro which didn’t disclose that fact in their profile, and that was a disappointing meeting as well.