due diligence

JustTrish

So it's not too difficult to perform some due diligence on potential cuddle partners and I think it pays to do this since there is no background check required for being on this site. I did some due diligence and it was pretty easy to find out someone on here is a sex offender. His partner (also on here) publicly posts some fairly sketchy information about their travels and experiences as cuddlers on social media. She admitted in her blog that this sex offender had sex with another cuddler (also on this site) during a session and when she (the professional cuddler) came back to the hotel room, she basically joined in. This just doesn't seem to be within the boundaries of what this site is about. What are your thoughts on things like this? I hope others do some checking on potential cuddle partners beforehand. Just saying it might be worth the effort!

@JustTrish I agree with you - such activity is indeed outside of the boundaries of this community. Care to report the users in question?

DaForceofNature

I would like to do a better job with this. Can you tell me some of the things you do?

JustTrish

@DaForceofNature Google search is a great start. You can find out a lot. If you have a name, do a background check. This costs but it's worth it and some sites have a one time fee for as many searches as you want. Stay safe!

Biblioromantic

@DaForceofNature
I used to do informal background sketches on people as part of a job, so I learned a few easy tricks I can share.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who also does a quick reverse phone number search on a site like whitepages.com or phonevalidator.com, which will usually give you the person's name and city of residence for free. From there, it's an easy google search to find out all kinds of things about a person, even without paying for a background check. You can also search social media sites with a phone number and come up with the person's social media accounts, and people put all kinds of interesting info, likes, and photos out there in the public realm.

If someone isn't careful enough to give out an anonymous phone number, they deserve someone investigating to find out who they are. Anonymous phone numbers are cheap and available through a variety of apps, so take this as a free warning if you're giving out your real number and smarten up. If I can find out who you are, where you work, where you went to school, and what you ate for dinner last night within a few mouse clicks, imagine what else people can find with more nefarious intentions. You never know who's looking.

DaForceofNature

Thank you @Biblioromantic

chubbybunny

Yeah that situation is exactly why I have so much trouble on this site. I’ve had that happen to me so I try to do due diligence before cuddling but with most users there’s not a lot of info to work with. I know people like their anonymity but I just don’t feel like it’s as appropriate on sites like this where the focus is irl human connection. This is a problem on pen pal websites as well.

I’m not so judgemental that I think a sex offenders should never ever get to cuddle anyone. There are people who work on themselves and get better who are as deserving as anyone else. I’d just like to know before deciding to meet someone.

Idk what the solution would be, linking my profile here to Facebook? Idk

@chubbybunny Like you said, there really is not a solution for an individual posting a profile online for any site. On here, we are not required to share our real names, our real ages, our real locations, or real history. But this is how the internet works for Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and Instagram. Like the meme says, "On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

Some small things you can do to make sure someone is genuine, is to ask for a picture of them doing something that nobody takes a selfie of: touching their right ear with their left little finger, touching their nose with both of their thumbs, and so on. I always recommend meeting in public, and exchanging contact information if a natural conversations go well, which you can use for a proper background check for peace of mind. I don't consider Facebook stalking a reliable way to check on someone, with the fallout Facebook has had towards younger adults, and the population being aware that Facebook is being used as a vetting system for careers, dates, and friends. Any account that an individual has the ability to moderate themselves, you should consider that account targeted towards making the owner of that account look favorable.

JustTrish

@SoulcuddlerZ
I am still trying to figure out what the right thing to do would be. The postings on social media leave enough detail that it is fairly simple to figure out just who the people she is writing about are on here. Also, having more than platonic cuddling going on and then posting about it publicly doesn't seem a good choice for respecting the creators of the site. Idk. I usually like to mind my own business but I admit it bothers me.

garrablanca

This is pure gossip, it should be as simple as: if you saw something, say something. and report it.

reallifebear

Barely anyone on this thread even has any karma. Just a bunch of heresay going around ..

JLM

Actually half of the people people who have posted on this thread have karma. But even the people who don’t have it, like me, have a right to their opinion.

WhatsBrewing

This kinda scares me!

May be a face to face meet should be the first, would give at least a name, face and phone number to the user id here. And then we can use some of the tips elaborated above to do some background check. Moreover we will have a first hand impression of the person.

Also, I agree - Karma or No Karma- we all have our opinions and concerns! And of all places, this should be where folks listen!!

I have no Karma coz I have not had any cuddles here - but I would like to have only good experience here!